Hoping for Tomorrow
by HaveYouSeenMyPanda
Summary: AU. It terrifies her that this would be the last time that things will be as simple as they were... Then with all the courage she could muster up, Chloe says, "Beca, I have Cancer." And just like that everything around them starts to fall apart.
1. The Breakdown

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

* * *

 **HOPING FOR TOMORROW**

* * *

Chapter 1: The Breakdown

 _Chloe was facing the bathroom mirror and as she puts on her hoodie. She actually tries to look decent before finally giving up and realizes she constantly looks like shit these days. The sound of someone at the door startled her, and she goes to answer it. Standing in front of her with her signature smirk, Beca Mitchell. She doesn't realize she's been staring until Beca comes in and instinctively settles herself on the couch. Suddenly, Chloe seems like the world had stop turning._

* * *

Chloe has repeated this conversation (along with Beca's million responses) in her head too many times. She's convinced herself that she's ready to tell Beca, and in no way fail at telling her what's been going on these few days. But as much as she's ready, and as much as she's hoping that nothing will go wrong. There's a pretty high chance that Beca won't react how she wants her to. And Chloe really doesn't want that, because it's Beca freaking Mitchell. Her best friend for almost 5 years now. And as much she likes to think that she's an independent person, she really needs Beca's help for this.

Chloe has been researching on advice online on how to deal with this circumstance, for the past week. And most of them just says the _cliche_ 'stay strong', 'there will be people supporting you', and Chloe can't help but think that's bullshit because she's somehow worried that people -mostly Beca- won't be able to handle the pressure and remove themselves from your life. It fucking scares Chloe to death that Beca will react like that, and she's not really sure if she can handle this ordeal without her.

Beca interrupted her train of thought by finally saying, "Hey, what's up?" And Chloe smiles, because maybe this will be the last moment in Beca's life that feels worry-free and simple as ever. Because Beca seems so happy and radiating life and Chloe is trying her hardest to just not break down in front of her, as she responds,

"I just wanted you to come over, I need to speak to you about something." Beca sits back on the couch motioning Chloe to continue. As much as Chloe wants to say, 'I just miss you and want to go hang out', she knows that it's not fair to Beca not knowing about it.

"Are you okay? You've been spacing a lot and your voice sounds a little weird, do you have a fever?" Beca reaches for Chloe, and Chloe pulls away. And Beca sat there confused because, when has Chloe _ever_ move away from physical affection. And Chloe just stares at her coffee table, silently laughing on how she wishes it was a fever.

"Beca…" 'Just tell her Chloe. God damn it, why is this so hard?' Chloe thought as she unknowingly moves further from Beca, but doesn't go unnoticed by Beca at all. And Beca begins to worry.

"I have to tell you something, it's something pretty big actually… And I repeated this conversation so many times in my head and now it's here I don't know how to say it at all, and I just really need you to keep an open-mind about this okay?" Chloe meets Beca's eyes and pure look of concern filled Beca's face as she nodded. Chloe's hand is gripping the side of her hoodie as if her life depended on it and her jaw was shaking too much. And she feels dizzy all of the sudden, like if she stood up right now she would fall.

"Woah chill Chlo, you're not telling me you like me right? Because I'm too emotionally unprepared for that confession," Beca jokes and smirks lightly, knowing that this is something Chloe is stressing about.

And Chloe backtracks a little bit because now she feels like she's going to faint. She feels light-headed as ever and her grip on her hoodie starts to loosen. Here is Beca trying to make her feel better, and she's here looking like she's having a fucking panic attack. And honestly who wouldn't? Who wouldn't have a panic attack when you're trying to tell your best friend that they have a secret that is actually eating them alive.

So she takes a deep breath and tries to focus her vision on anything other than the coffee table. And with all the courage she could muster up, Chloe says, "Beca. I have cancer."

Chloe thought that her eyes were playing tricks on her but just like that all the colour from Beca's face drains and Beca looks as pale as ever. Beca stares at her for what seems like forever until with the smallest of voices Beca blurts,

"What?" Chloe looks away from Beca, trying desperately to not cry.

"Chloe please tell me this is a late April fools joke, I'm sorry I replaced the salt in your salt shaker with sugar, but please tell me this isn't real." Chloe's mouth curves a little remembering Beca's prank from a week ago. _A week ago._ She tries to respond to Beca but there's this huge lump in her throat that makes it incapable of her to speak. And little by little Beca falls apart, because here she is, in her best friend's apartment, in LA, staring wide eyed at her friend, who just told her the biggest statement ever. Her eyes begins to sting, her brain suddenly can't form the right words, and the deafening silence around her starts to become unbearable.

Chloe can only return her gaze and shake her head ever so slightly trying to convey the message that, 'I wish this was a joke Beca, but no this is real'.

Beca gets up from where she's been sitting and plops right beside Chloe taking her hand, that is now white from gripping her hoodie too hard. She stares right into Chloe, stormy blue clashes with ocean blue. And Beca can't say anything because she's still trying to convince herself that this isn't real.

Chloe finally breaks the gaze and says, "Damn it Beca. I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."

Beca shakes her head and forces Chloe to look back at her. Beca opens her mouth to say something, but no words came out. Once Beca wraps her head a little bit around the situation, there's so many questions she wants to ask her but stops because she doesn't want Chloe to feel more upset than she already is. Not that she can anyway.

Beca is grateful that it's Chloe who asks the question, "Do you just want me to tell you what happened? And when you think it's too much I'll stop. Because _God Beca_ you don't deserve this." And Beca just nods lightly as if she's trying to say, 'but I'm still here Chlo'.

"Okay so… Argh. I've been feeling like crap for a while and each passing day I felt more and more weak. And I assume it's just PMS but then I started to worry when bruises starts appearing around my body," Chloe explains. She slowly lifts her sleeves and hoodie to show Beca several bruises that were now painting Chloe's pale body. Beca takes in a bit of air and takes all her willpower to not just wrap Chloe in her arms and waits for this to go away.

"So uhm I finally went to the clinic a few days ago and it turns out that it's leukemia. The one I got it this big science word called acute lymphocytic leukemia." Chloe stares at Beca and to the now very interesting coffee table. And this is the part of the speech she's been trying to say.

"So umm… They did a few tests and called me back the next day, I got referred to a doctor that's a specialist in these stuff. That's why I have been MIA these few days because I was back and forth from the hospital. She umm she wanted to do a biopsy of me, which hurt like hell. And I didn't want to worry you… yet." Chloe stops for a moment realizing that Beca's freaking out a little, biting her lip, and shaking her leg.

Beca now joins in the staring of the coffee table and Chloe just wants to finish this soon. "So yea uhm now I have a treatment thing for about 3 months. And chemo sessions, once a week, with the previous doctor. And I start all of that in… two days."

Beca tries so hard to take in all of the information, she knows she did, but can't help that it's just one jumbled mess in her brain right now. She stops biting her lip and starts to say something, but cuts off because she doesn't want to say this is the wrong way. "What's the uhmm… Fuck… You know the survival rate… thing…?" Beca asks, sounding more like a statement than a question.

"Well the doctor says around 30-ish percent. Which is less than average, and I suppose that's not good? But I'm just trying to keep strong right now and follow the treatment and see where I'll go from there…" Chloe replies sheepishly. Chloe totally forgot about their hands being intertwined but quickly remembers when Beca drops their hands to stand up and run it through her hair muttering vulgar words.

"Shit. Shit. Shit. This can't be happening. Fuck! Why did this happen to you? You're fucking healthy, you exercise more than me. You're like young and happy, and fuck." Beca begins to have a strain in her voice and tries to keep her sobs away for now. She grasps her shirt tightly and tries to go into denial. "They've got to be wrong about this Chloe, you _can't_ have cancer. You just _can't._ I can't _lose you_ Chlo. And… Fuuuuuuccckk."

Chloe can't bring herself to stop Beca and looks guiltily at her. Chloe justs begins to pull her hoodie tighter into her, almost knowing what's going to happen next.

"Becs please, don't stress yourself about this." Chloe says in barely a whisper, but Beca hears it nonetheless.

"Not stress out? Not stress OUT? Chlo. I came in to your apartment with the only bad thought that you were going to force me to watch reruns of movies in HBO or something. Now you tell me that I can't stress out that my _best friend_ has a 70% chance of not making it to next year!?" Beca huffs out angrily. "My best friend has cancer… My. Best. Friend. Has. Fucking. Cancer. I, I need to get out of here Chlo. I'm sorry. I… I need time." Beca chokes out in between sobs. Beca grabs her keys from _the_ coffee table and goes out of the apartment in one swift motion.

Chloe didn't even get a chance to say anything, and she wraps herself in a small ball on her couch just staring at her coffee table. Not able to move. Because honestly, this was the reaction she really hoped Beca wouldn't have.

* * *

A/N: Thoughts? Feelings? Just leave a review below. :)


	2. Confessions

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

* * *

 **HOPING FOR TOMORROW**

* * *

Chapter 2: Confessions

 _Chloe never moved from her position that day, she just sulked and cried over Beca. She stared at her phone, hoping that Beca would at least call her. She knows it's not easy for her, and Chloe thinks it's selfish that she put this whole weight on Beca. But if Beca decides to just disappear from her life, who is Chloe to stop her? After all, they were just friends. Just friends._

* * *

Chloe woke up to a throbbing headache, an upset stomach, and pain all throughout her body. She slowly stood up and made her way to the bathroom, not before checking the time.

"Eight am, great." Chloe huffs out to nobody.

She began to shower, ignoring the pain the water gives at first but slowly soothes her. She sighed loudly remembering the events that took place yesterday. She cried enough last night, she doesn't need any more tears. After Chloe was done, she put on sweatpants and a long sleeved shirt. She wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, Chloe decides. Suddenly her phone rings, the ringtone she especially made for Beca; Titanium. She went to the coffee table and answered it. She panics a little not knowing what Beca would say.

"Hey," Chloe internally groans because she thought it was a stupid thing to say.

"Hi," Beca's voice was small and unsure. "How are you doing Chlo?"

Chloe slightly smiles and answers, "I've felt better days," She skips telling Beca that she didn't eat lunch or dinner yesterday, which is probably not good for her health, the throbs she feels on her body, which indicates more bruises forming, the headache she feels on the back of her head, which is from all the thinking she's been doing, and how she feels limp because she didn't move at all last night. 'Beca doesn't need to stress over me even more' Chloe thought.

Beca breathes into the phone and says, "Which is more painful the cancer or me walking out on you yesterday?"

Chloe is a little bit shocked that Beca knows she's been suffering. And this time she honestly answers, "Honestly, cancer hurts physically and you hurt emotionally. I don't know which hurts more though, they kind of even out. I just… I'm just sad that you're sad,"

"Chlo, as much as I want to comfort you and say I'm not sad. I, I can't. This is real and I spent a lot of time thinking about it yesterday and I know you start your sessions tomorrow, but agh fuck. I don't… I just… I don't know what… Fuuuuck. I'm sorry. I just- I can't believe this happened to you Chlo. I, I'm so sorry." Beca stops and Chloe can hear her trying to keep her calm. At least she's not the only one who's been crying. It saddens Chloe even more that she's the one who put Beca through this mess. It's uncomfortable to hear Beca Mitchell cry. And suddenly it's silent for a while.

"Beca… You still there?" Chloe asks into the phone, her voice sounding very hoarse.

"Yeap, I'm here. Sorry, I just- I just have a hard time believing that this is really happening because, fuck, I don't- I don't want to believe this just yet Chlo…" Beca explains.

"I get it Becs. I'm the one with the Cancer remember?" Chloe pointed out. And that statement is all it took for Beca to finally realize what an asshole she is.

"Fucking shit. I'm being so insanely selfish! _God_ Chloe! I'm so sorry. Here I am complaining to you, when you're the one that's supposed to whine. I'm being a shit best friend right now and I'm not even the one with the-" Chloe stops Beca from saying anything else.

"Stop it Beca. You have every right to whine, this is just as big to you as is to me. You're allowed to feel whatever you want Beca…" Chloe takes a deep breath. "This doesn't only affect me, but everyone around me. I understand if you want to not be a part of this at all-"

"No! Chloe, of course I want to be there for you. I _care_ for you. _So_ much." Beca intervenes.

"Thank you Becs, I just need someone to be there for me. You don't need to prove you're strong to me, I just need you to be here. Calling me was enough to show you still care. Okay?" Chloe smiles into the phone.

Beca is running her free hand onto her face, and is shaking her head. She feels like her heart is going to burst out any second, as she tries to keep her tears at bay. She takes slow and deep breathes, and her chest is rising and falling at an abnormal amount of speed. It still didn't completely sink into Beca, and she doesn't know if she wants it too. Because Beca knows that there is this impending force upon them, that's ready to be dropped any second. Beca wants, no, Beca needs to be strong for Chloe. Regardless of what she says, she just doesn't know if she can just yet. But Beca wants her to know that, she's there for Chloe. She cares for the redhead. She wants Chloe to know how much Beca means to her, and it is an insanely big amount.

Beca finally responds, "Yea… Yea… Okay. And Chlo, I just want you to know I'm here okay? I'm- You- You mean so much to me Chlo, and I just-" A sob escapes Beca's mouth and she quickly covers it with a deep breath. "You're very important to me Chloe,"

Chloe listens to Beca, "Yea Beca, you mean so much to me too,"

Beca wipes her tears away, she _needs_ to be strong. "So umm, you start the treatments tomorrow right?"

"Uh yea, 11am I think," Chloe says, sounding a little bit shocked at Beca's sudden boldness. "It's like a four to five hour treatment, which is too long in my opinion,"

Beca smirks lightly, "Yep, that's wayy too long. Do you want me to, um, come with you? Or drop you off? I don't think I'm supposed to be at the studio tomorrow"

Chloe thinks for a while because she really wants to say yes. She wants Beca to be there with her. "No, I'm good by myself," She lies. She really doesn't need Beca to have a breakdown at the hospital. And she wants to prove to herself that she can handle this situation alone first, until it comes to the point that she needs help from others. "It's like a twenty minute drive from my place. And I think the doctor said it will be fine after the treatment if I drive again,"

"Okay Chlo…" Beca said, sounding a little disappointed. "Just call me if you need anything okay? Like literally anything. I can buy you lunch and drop it at your place if you want, or- just anything comes up call me okay? Wait. Does Aubrey know about this?"

"Okay, I'll call you if anything comes up. And yes Aubrey knows," Chloe stated.

"Was she the first to know?" Beca asked.

"Yes? She actually _is_ the first one to know. She came over like 5 days ago and noticed the bruises forming around my body before I did. And since she's super smart and has like a million degrees in everything, she told me to check it for you know… Cancer… At first she was scared to explain what she thought it was, and I went to the clinic with her, she waited for me. And, umm, she was right. I told her my results when I received it the next day and when has Aubrey ever been wrong right?" Chloe asked, her hands fidgeting.

"Typical Aubrey." Beca said bitterly. She slightly wished that Aubrey was wrong at that time. "Why'd you wait another… 3 days? Yea, 3 days to tell me?" Beca questioned raising her voice a little. But stops realizing what she'd done. "Shit. Sorry, it's totally not my place to ask you that."

Chloe laughs at how nervous Beca is. "It's okay Becs, I just didn't know how to tell you is all. You- you're different. Sure Aubrey is my best friend too, but I knew she would be there for me no matter what. I just wanted to get myself together before telling you,"

Beca feels touched that Chloe thought of her so highly. "Thanks Chlo," And they both smile. And somehow it almost feels normal again. Almost.

They're both quiet for a few seconds, "Uh Chlo, I gotta go to work. Someones coming to the studio today," Beca said not wanting to end the call.

"Okay. I'm going to go to, maybe take a walk or something," Chloe lies, again, because she knows she's going to be sitting at her couch, watching TV, while probably ordering takeout.

"Be safe, take a jacket, don't put your phone on silent in case someone calls you." Beca advised.

"Yes mom," Chloe giggles.

"I'll call you later okay? I uh… lov- Just take care Chlo," Beca blurts.

"Yeah… Thanks Becs. You too," Chloe fades and thinks for a moment, 'Was Beca going to say love? I must be going crazy too, if I thought Beca was going to show affection'.

"Bye Chlo, I'll talk to you later okay?" Beca murmured.

"Yeah, okay," Chloe says quietly. Beca pressed the hang up button and got ready to go. And Beca can't help but think that now Chloe comes first of everything. And she intends to keep it that way.

* * *

A/N: Thanks for reading guys, constructive criticism is suggested. Thoughts, feelings? Just review all of them below. :)

By the way, Beca is a music producer and Chloe is a teacher on holiday because it's April and let's pretend that this school has a long easter break. She's going to quit soon anyway (Whoops spoiler.)

 _jalex1: Haha thank you!_

 _EmoPenguino182: Aww, be ready for more tearful moments. XD_

 _maddkats: Good thing I'm not. :)_

 _vahuene: I plan to. XD_

 _Guest 1: Thanks :)_

 _marieke1: It will have a somehow good end? Yea :)_

 _Guest 2: Thank you :)_

 _Kurochin: Mostly once every two/three days, but this one's a freebie ;)_


	3. REALization

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

A/N: Also I know next to nothing about Cancer, I'm basing this off of experience with a family member and wikipedia, so if something's wrong. _Please don't hesitate to tell me._

* * *

 **HOPING FOR TOMORROW**

* * *

Chapter 3: REALization

 _Chloe did end up taking a walk that night to ease her mind off of things. But she could only last about 15 minutes before heading up to her apartment again, due to the cold breeze. She was very scared for tomorrow, because she didn't know what to expect. She kind of wished she asked Beca to come with her, but ego beat her need. So she slept that night, tossing and turning, and before she knew it, it was already time to go._

* * *

Chloe walked in with a sick feeling in her stomach, the way that the automatic door opens in the chemotherapy treatment part of the hospital, scares her. She's thankful that she wore comfortable and warm clothes, because she felt a little chilly. She walked over to the nurse behind the counter and gave her name.

She was kindly led to a small room where they did a bunch of tests. They weighed her, took her temperature and blood pressure, measured her height and took her blood. Then she was led to another room, 'presumably the waiting room' Chloe thought, and she sat down. Chloe took in her surroundings, there was a man in a business suit who was reading the newspaper, an old lady who was staring blindly at the small tv, and a child with her mom who looked very scared to be here. There were also the occasional nurses walking around, 'too cheerfully' Chloe thought, to pass tests to back and forth.

Within twenty-ish minutes of waiting, the same nurse who took her tests came to Chloe with a big smile on her face. And Chloe can't help but scowl a little.

"Chloe Beale right?" The nurse said pronouncing the Beale part a little wrong.

"Yea," Chloe doesn't bother to correct her though.

"So Chloe your tests came out fine, and if you're ready, we're going to prepare the dosage for you now. Okay?" She smiled.

"Sure," Chloe responds, she was taken into a room, within another room. And suddenly the atmosphere changed. A lot. These people looked half-dead and Chloe became more scared than she was before. She was asked to sit down on a chair and the nurse began to prepare the stuff.

"Chloe, I want you to relax okay?" She asked, and Chloe nodded. 'And I want to get out of here, but we can't all have what we want. Can we?' Chloe sighed.

When the nurse went to get something, she finally looked around the room. There were mostly people in their 50-60s there. Most of them were asleep, letting the IV drop into their body. But one person stood out to Chloe the most, and that was the kid beside her, who was playing his iPhone. He looked like he was not more than 15 years old, and Chloe felt nostalgic. Now she thought about the kids she was teaching and about her job. What was she going to do? She knew she can't teach within these 3 months, so maybe she would take a break first. Chloe sighed for the nth time that day.

The nurse came back with a bag of liquid inside, she put it above Chloe's head in a hanger type thing. And without a moment's hesitation there were needles inside her skin as Chloe gripped tightly to the chair. She watched as the blue clear fluid went inside her vein. And Chloe can't help but think, that now she wishes Beca was here.

Chloe took a deep breath and took out her phone and earphones out of her bag. She blasted one of Beca's mixes she made for her and tried to drown herself in it. But Chloe started feeling weak, and she started getting a headache. She brushed it off as the feeling of nervousness. But how she was so very wrong.

-Pandas-

Beca was in her study at home making mixes. She had one side of the headphone out of her ear so she could hear if Chloe calls. An unfamiliar number displayed on Beca's phone and she groaned. She didn't want to deal with work right now, and what if Chloe tries to call her when she's taking this call. But Beca answers it nonetheless.

"Hello?" Beca greeted.

"Hi! Is this Beca Mitchell?" The person on the other line asked.

"Yes this is. I'm sorry, is this important? Because I'm expecting an important call right now from one of my friends. I'm out of the studio today, so if you have questions please ask Cynthia-Rose, my assistant." Beca responded.

"Oh, umm. This is rather important. My name is Jane, I'm Chloe's nurse at the treatment center. She has you listed as her second emergency contact next to Aubrey Posen. I tried to contact her, but Ms. Posen wasn't able to answer her phone after multiple calls," Jane explained.

"Oh! Is Chloe alright? Where is she? Did something happen?" Beca questioned, now sounding worried.

"She reacted badly to the fluids we gave her, and her body started throwing it out of her system. She had violent nausea and vomited everything. She won't eat or drink anything except one glass of water, admitting that she would throw up again if she did. We're keeping her overnight and giving her nutrients and vitamins, along with another medicine called Dolasetron, approved by the doctor to control her vomiting."

Beca lowered herself more into her chair. She suddenly feels like she can't breathe, and started to freak out. She knows she has to clear her head first before visiting Chloe. "Is she alright though? Like right now? Can I visit her?" Beca feels light-headed, like she's going to faint.

"Oh she's alright now. She's resting in her room. She tried to ask to call you just now, but when I came back with her bag, she was out cold." Jane sounds really calm and her voice indicates that maybe she's done this too many times before.

Beca's already gone up to her feet and is going to change out of her clothes. "Great I'll be there soon, what floor is she on?"

"She's on the fifth floor, room 542. I'll see you soon Beca, please visit me in the reception first though. You're also welcome to spend the night here too." Jane answered.

"Great. See you soon Jane." Beca hung up.

-Pandas-

Beca registered the time as 4pm. She was driving unbelievably fast, and is surprised a cop didn't pull her over. She arrived at the hospital in 44 minutes because she went to Chloe's apartment first and got her clean clothes for tomorrow. Beca then burst through the door of the hospital, eliciting several stares from a few people and asked for Jane. She was immediately greeted with a blonde girl in scrubs.

"Hi! You must be Beca," Jane waved, and Beca slightly waved back.

"Yea that's me," Beca awkwardly smiled. Jane lead her through the elevator and pass countless of doors. Jane was speaking something about Chloe's state but Beca can't bring herself to listen. She was distracted by the atmosphere around here, it's dead. It sent shivers up Beca's spine. And all of the people they passed look so tired and worn out, like their souls have been sucked up from their body and Beca was witnessing front row seats of it.

"... then we led her to her room where she lays now. Her reaction is very rare but not unheard of, I actually had to deal with these several times since I've worked here. She didn't mention any allergy to the drug that we gave her, so we assumed it's fine. But turns out that she was allergic to it. She did mention earlier in the dosage that she was feeling a little bit dizzy, but that was pretty common, so we shrugged it off as nothing, but pretty soon she's been coughing and hacking and vomiting violently." Jane stopped to take a breath and Beca was finally listening to what she was saying.

"She's pretty tired, we've got IV pumped into her, the nutrients she needs because she won't eat, and also another drug that's keeping her white blood cells count, she lost a pretty large amount back there."

After what seemed like an endless journey through many corridors and pathways. They finally stopped at room 524. Beca should've paid attention to wear they were going, because she was sure, she can't find a way back. She leaned against the wall before the door and her vision was slightly blurred. She took a second to close her eyes and breathe because she's not sure if she can see Chloe in a state like this yet.

Jane looked at Beca with pity. "It's hard for you huh? To watch a friend be like this?"

The normal Beca would've made a sarcastic comment back, but now she just nods with her head bowed down. Almost admitting defeat.

"It'll get easier kid. She's really tough. She's been through a lot today and I doubt she will give up anytime soon," Jane smiled emphatically.

Then sounds could be heard from inside the room and it doesn't sound pretty. A look of confusion and worry replaced Jane's nice smile as she quickly opened the door. Chloe was gagging and clutching her stomach. Beca went in and tried to keep herself together. Beca lets out a little noise of whimper as she caught Chloe in the eyes for merely a second. She's sat up with one hand on the bed keeping her up and one on her stomach. The nurse holding a sick bag to her face incase she's going to throw up again. There's a variety of tubes going through Chloe's body, two on either side of her antecubital area and one on her left wrist.

The sounds from Chloe's body is very hard to listen to. Beca can almost feel the pain that's coming out of Chloe's throat. The way the nurse is holding on to Chloe's back with her other hand is so careful, as if she put anymore force Chloe's body would break. Chloe's face is pale, along with the rest of her body. And she looks so weak that every gag or hack that comes out her mouth might bring her body into the brink of dea- But Beca doesn't want to think about that consequence.

After her coughing fit slightly cooled off, Jane threw away the bag and gave Chloe a glass of water. Which Chloe only sips a little bit out of. Jane immediately went to checking her vitals, her bags and her tubes, if something is out of the ordinary. But found nothing.

"Chloe, honey, I called Beca here to spend the night with you. Is that okay? I found her number in your emergency contacts list, and was the one who answered. Just continue to rest okay?" Jane smiled.

Beca watched their interaction and knew that Chloe was grateful that the nurse called her. Chloe is nodding her head while she laid back down with the hand without the tube covering her face. Jane finished with Chloe and turned to Beca.

"Her vitals are fine and nothing seems out of place. There are no signs of other infections or reactions. She'll be able to sleep fine and there is a couch over there for you to sleep in. If anything happens again, press this yellow button and I'll come over straight away. If I somehow come a little late, there are bags over here in case she vomits again and this red button will indicate an emergency, but don't press it unless she's not responding well at all," Jane explains and smiles at the end. She moves through the room and looks back once again to Beca before disappearing to tend to other patients.

Beca turns to face Chloe who still has her eyes shut with her hand on them. She's breathing slightly heavy from all the commotion and is slightly shivering. She set her stuff down at the couch and stood beside Chloe. She took a seat beside her and removed her hand from her face. Chloe's eyes were still tightly closed and now she's shaking violently. Beca begins to panic, her hand reaching out to the yellow button. But stops when a tear and sob comes out of Chloe, and Beca soon comes with the fact that Chloe's crying.

"Hey hey hey hey, don't cry Chlo. I'm here okay? And I'm not leaving your side. I'm here Chloe, I'm here." Beca soothed Chloe taking her arms in hers. She laid down beside Chloe and held her while saying stuff that would soothe her. Chloe's face buried deep on Beca's side, as she silently cried. Beca doesn't even know what she's saying half of the time, she just needs to tell Chloe that she's here.

It stays like this for a while and Beca's eye grew tired, she looked over to her side and sees Chloe. From any other perspective, they would think Chloe's sleeping, but Beca knows better and Chloe's merely resting. And if Chloe's not sleeping yet, Beca isn't too.

"Thank you," A weak voice from Chloe comes out. And Beca genuinely smiles. "For being here," Chloe finished.

"I told you I would," Beca responded hugging Chloe tighter.

-Pandas-

It was well after midnight now and Beca's still not asleep, she changed clothes a little while before and was pacing in Chloe's room while she was asleep. She dialed a number and let it ring. It rang five times before the other line answered,

"Hello? Beca? What are you doing calling me at 12:21 in the morning?" Aubrey complained.

"Well in case you didn't know, the hospital called you several times. Apparently Chloe has had an allergic reaction to the treatment and you were her first emergency number. But you weren't there to pick up." Beca grunted slightly annoyed.

"Oh so that's who that was, I tried calling the number back but apparently it doesn't take calls, it only makes it," Aubrey explained.

"What if I wasn't there to answer mine Aubrey? What if Chloe hadn't put my number in her emergency contacts? She was suffering and you didn't answer the goddamn phone! What were you doing anyway that deems more importance than your own best friend's health?!" Beca scolded quietly not wanting to wake Chloe.

"I was in the shower…" Aubrey answered. "What!?" Beca shrieked.

"What the fuck Aubrey? I kept my phone around me 24/7 in case anything comes up! You should know better!"

"Look! I'm sorry that I didn't answer the 5 missed calls. Thank God that you're there to help her! Do you want me to come over to the hospital or something? Is Chloe alright though?" Aubrey asked.

"Chloe's fine… For now... Look from now on, keep your phone with you at all times. Even when you shower put it beside your sink or something, we have to be there for her Bree, she looked so fragile and tired and I, I, I-" Beca began tearing up now. Although Aubrey and her aren't that close, they're still friends.

"Shh Beca it's alright, it'll be fine. Chloe's strong okay? I have the utmost confidence in her that she won't let cancer bring her down." Aubrey tried to comfort Beca.

"Yea, yea, I'll keep you updated, leave your phone near you tonight okay? I nee-" Beca was cut off by a sound from the room. Chloe was having a coughing fit again.

"Oh shit! Bree, I got to go, Chloe's reacting again! Bye!" Beca exclaimed.

"Wait what? Bec-" Beca hung up the call. Beca quickly turned her heel and grabbed one of the bags on the table. Chloe started vomiting heavily again and her breathing are labored now. Beca rubbed circles behind her back and held out the bag for her to vomit into. She looks like she's hyperventilating and Beca hates not being able to do anything about it.

"That's it Chlo, let it out, let it out," Beca tried to comfort her. Chloe begins hacking again but now nothing comes out, it's like something's stuck on her throat. Suddenly Chloe's hand found her neck and she began to not breathe and Beca quickly pressed the red button.

As soon as that happened Jane and another doctor came in and took the matter into their hands. Beca was pushed back towards the sofa, not bearing to look at what's happening. Chloe's body was shuddering, she can't breathe. And everything seems to be growing blurrier and blurrier. It was a good 15 minutes before Chloe started to breathe normally again, almost normally. Her body was still moving, she had tears in her eyes and a death grip on the bed sheets.

The doctor and Jane were discussing something and Beca took this opportunity to stand beside Chloe again. Chloe looked up slowly to meet Beca's gaze and Beca put her arm on Chloe's back rubbing soothing circles. Both the doctor and Jane now looked towards Beca and went to stand on the foot of the bed.

"Hello Beca, I'm Doctor Neal, but please call me Alex. I am Chloe's primary caretaker in this hospital," She smiled slightly. Beca took in the doctor's features, she had bags under her eyes, creases on her forehead and she looked a little pale. Her eyes were also a little red and her uniform could do a little iron.

"Hi, I'm Beca, Chloe's best friend," Beca smiled back. Alex nodded and turned to Chloe.

"Well it seems that you're fine Chloe, this is merely a small reaction from the new fluids we gave you, you're not allergic to it. But putting in a large amount of drugs into your body has its toll," Alex explained. "You're actually doing pretty well, in the amount of sleep you got, your levels are currently building and this was a minor setback. You're very lucky you have a friend as caring as Beca,"

Chloe smiles and said hoarsely, "Yeah, I am." Alex and Jane bid their farewell and soon it was just the both of them again.

"Becs," Chloe said quietly.

"Yea?" Beca looked at her.

"Can you get me some water, my throat feels like I've swallowed fire," Chloe said weakly. Beca got her a glass of water and Chloe drank half of it before setting it on Beca's hand again.

"No Chlo, finish it. You need to drink. You haven't been drinking enough." Beca advised handing the water back to Chloe.

"Fine." Chloe took back the water and finished it this time. Beca set the glass aside and began setting her bed on the couch. Beca glanced around the room, Chloe has her hand on her face again and the IV bags are continuously dripping liquid. Beca looked to Chloe and bit her lip. Chloe's hair was now messily sprawled all over the pillow, she looks really pale, her lips are almost a shade of purple and is slightly open to breathe through it, her body lay almost lifeless on the bed and she's shivering lightly. Beca sighed and thought back to hours ago when she first got here. All those people she passed by, she can't help but think Chloe's like one of them now to. And the thought of Chloe, not having her cheerful and optimistic side anymore scares Beca. 'It will almost be like she's not here anymore' Beca thought. Chloe coughed twice lightly but Beca was at her side like the speed of light.

"Are you okay? Do you need Jane? Do you want water? I'll go get the bag again, how do you feel?" Beca started firing questions.

"I'm fine Beca, I'm fine now." Chloe said removing her hand from her face to see Beca. Chloe's eyes were bloodshot now and are watery. Beca started to sit beside her again so Chloe can lean on her side.

"Are you sure? Jane mentioned that this isn't normal for someone who's undergoing Chemo, something about allergic reactions?" Beca asked and Chloe sighed.

"I knew about my allergy Beca, in that moment I just forgot to say to them that I had it. It was all happening so fast and when Jane asked if I had any… I said none by accident," Chloe explained her voice quivering. Beca looked emphatically at the redhead.

"I'm just glad you're fine now Chlo, you scared me half to death. Three times," Beca smiled when Chloe snickered at her comment. Beca rested her head on top of Chloe's head and Chloe just made herself comfortable in Beca's arms.

"I called Aubrey," Beca stated. And Chloe tensed beside her only to have her sigh.

"What did she say? How come she's not here right now?" Chloe asked.

"She was showering when the hospital called her 5 times. She tried calling back but that number only makes calls not receive them," Beca said and Chloe hums.

"I'll call her again later, just get some sleep okay? You look tired," Beca ran her hand up and down Chloe's arms. And slowly stood up. Chloe looked sad for a moment and rubbed her eyes.

"Okay," Chloe said while yawning.

"Night Chlo," Beca smiled and turned off the light.

"Night Becs," Chloe returned. "Thank you for being here."

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now Chlo," Beca grinned.

And Chloe fell right asleep. Beca on the other hand was silently watching her, she wouldn't get any sleep tonight afraid that she'll sleep through one of Chloe's coughing fit. Instead she made herself comfortable on the couch and began texting Aubrey.

 _[Beca 1:13 AM] Hey Aubrey, u awake?_

 _[Aubrey 1:13 AM] Yea, how is she? What did you mean by reaction?_

 _[Beca 1:14 AM] Basically she started coughing and retching, her doctor said it was normal though._

 _[Aubrey 1:15 AM] How is she now?_

 _[Beca 1:15 AM] She's sleeping. Can u come over tmr morning? She was asking for u._

 _[Aubrey 1:16 AM] Sure. I'll be there. Wat room?_

 _[Beca 1:17 AM] 524, just ask for Jane in the reception._

 _[Aubrey 1:18 AM] Okay. Night Beca. SLEEP._

 _[Beca 1:17 AM] Haha, how did u know I wasn't going to?_

 _[Aubrey 1:18 AM] Telepathy, now go to bed. C ya tmr._

 _[Beca 1:19 AM] Kk, bye Bree._

Beca's eyes began to grow tired and she lazily rubbed them. Beca's eyes looked over to Chloe now, and with the small light from the window she could make out Chloe's body. She stood up and looked at her. She could finally see a little bit of color on her cheeks now, and she's happy because of it. She breathed the cold night air and can't help but think that there is a strong smell of death. She doesn't want to think about that epitome yet, but in the back of her head she knows it's there.

And it isn't going away.

Chloe's lying softly on the hospital bed, IV's jabbing her delicate skin. And Beca thinks that the world is so cruel that it let someone as happy and joyful as Chloe, face this terrible fate. Beca can hardly breathe anymore that now she let the full realization that maybe Chloe's not going to make it through next year. Her eyes begin to water now and without realizing Beca's hands are slightly on Chloe's IV's, just barely touching them to make sure they're real. It might be weird to others that she's staring at a sleeping figure but not to them. Beca's being so fucking careful, like she's carrying a baby in her arms that even a sudden movement will make a big difference. Chloe's mouth is still slightly open and her eyes are shut but moving indicating that she's dreaming.

Beca looks at Chloe's arms and chokes back a sob because she somehow forgot that purple and blue bruises decorate her white skin. Beca took back her arm and put her palm on her eyes, refusing to cry. Because she has to be strong. She has too. She went back to her couch and pulled out an energy bar from her bag, she quickly realized that she didn't eat lunch or dinner. She doesn't have much of an appetite but she can't faint in front of Chloe tomorrow. So she silently eats and plays stuff from her iPhone quietly without earphones, worried that the music will cover any sounds Chloe makes.

She doesn't get any sleep that night, but passed out at the 6am point. And she woke up to the door being slammed open.

* * *

A/N: It's getting real guys! I almost cried writing this chapter. I hope you guys like it! Constructive criticism? Thoughts? Feelings? Share them all below or on my tumblr haveyouseenmypanda dot tumblr dot com

Thanks for reading! :)

 _jalex1: She does show up and thank you! :)_

 _EmoPenguino182: Prepare for more feels buddy... This story is gonna take a turn at death stree- I mean. Nobody's dying... pshh..._

 _vahuene: ThAnKs! :)_

 _Kurochin: I'm (literally) killing Chloe too. ;)_

 _surfingXgirl13: Thank youuu! :)_


	4. The Morning After

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

A/N: Also I know next to nothing about Cancer, I'm basing this off of experience with a family member and wikipedia, so if something's wrong. _Please don't hesitate to tell me._

* * *

 **HOPING FOR TOMORROW**

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Chapter 4: The Morning After

 _In the small one hour that Beca got sleep, she dreamt about Chloe. It was more like a nightmare more than a dream though. She dreamt about her vomiting, the dreary look on her face, and towards the end, Beca got scared. She was in the cemetery, Beca looked around her, Aubrey was there, the Bellas were there, and Chloe's family members. She looked down on the grave below hers and it read, Chloe Beale._

* * *

Beca woke up heavy breathing and rubbed her eyes. She was in an unfamiliar environment, and quickly registered that she was in Chloe's hospital room, and not alone. She looked up to see Aubrey in the room with her.

"Hey, you alright?" Aubrey asked, walking to join Beca on the couch. Beca made space for her to sit in.

"Yea, I just had a bad dream…" Beca yawned and stretched her hand. She looked over to Chloe and she was still sleeping. Thankfully.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Aubrey looked over to Beca. Beca looked back, and saw that Aubrey had bags under her eyes - 'Maybe she didn't sleep either' Beca thought, light makeup, and her lips were a bit chapped.

"No, I want to forget about it as soon as possible." Beca's voice was cold. And that was when Aubrey realized that dream was about Chloe, and it wasn't about a good one either.

"So umm… How is she?" Aubrey questioned. Beca explains what happens yesterday and about Chloe, leaving nothing behind. Aubrey nods her head and looked down at the tiles.

"... So yea, that's basically what happened yesterday. I'm just glad all of this happened when Chloe is on holiday. I don't think she could add the stress of her job in on this," Beca finished. Beca finally thought about Chloe's job, and how she would handle it.

"I researched yesterday, and about the third chemo session in, your hair begins to fall out and more bruises will start appearing. Just for Chloe's health, I think she should leave her job out of the equation for now. I'm sure her parents will cover costs, and with what Chloe has now, I'm sure it'll be enough. And you and I won't hesitate to cover anything if they don't have enough right?" Aubrey said meeting her gaze with Beca's again.

"Yea, how do you think she will handle it? You of all people should know that teaching was Chloe's life. She loves her kids."

"Honestly, I don't think she'll be pleased. She'll be having chemo for who knows how long, and she won't able to create lessons plans as fast as she used to. And I know that Chloe will miss her job but-" Aubrey voice cracks as they both realize the fate that Chloe has to face. Beca thinks that it would've been so much easier if Chloe hadn't become so attached to the job.

"She could teach a few more lessons, her job starts this Monday right? She could wear long sleeved shirts and long pants to hide her bruises. I think she needs the closure Bree," Beca informed. "I agree, she can go a week more, but after that she needs to cut it off,"

Beca feels so out of place to discuss Chloe's life without Chloe. But she knows Chloe will need help with this. She won't go through this alone, she has two best friends that cares a lot about her. It's gone to a comfortable silence after that, and was interrupted by Beca's stomach growling.

"Geez Beca, did you not eat yesterday?" Aubrey jokes. But seeing Beca's face she sighed.

"You didn't, didn't you?" Aubrey rolled her eyes. Beca shakes her head and got off from the couch.

"It doesn't matter, I couldn't just leave Chloe alone. And besides, I kind of forgot my way around the hospital." Beca explained while taking clean clothes out of her bag.

"You know what, you go change and shower and do whatever you need to do, and I'll visit that cafe on the lobby to get you something to eat and coffee, I need coffee," Aubrey said while getting off from the couch too. Beca nodded absent-mindedly and made her way to the bathroom, while the door clicks, indicating Aubrey left.

Beca sighed and left her door slightly ajar, so that she could hear if Chloe wakes up and needs her. She tied her hair messily, showered quickly and brushed her teeth, not bothering to make herself _that_ clean. She thought about her dream and how it _could_ happen in the future. Just the thought of it makes Beca want to cry again, but she doesn't. She just feels a strong tug at her heart. She got out of the shower and looks to the mirror, Chloe was moving slightly. Beca got dressed quickly and was by her side at an instant.

Beca sat beside Chloe again like yesterday and took Chloe's hand in hers. She briefly remembers that when she was a kid, her mom would hold her hand and press it. Beca was a very quiet kid, so when she wanted to tell her mom something in public without drawing attention she would press her hand and they had a secret code for everything. Beca smiled at the memory and pressed Chloe's hand. Chloe squeezed back, and Beca giggles lightly.

"Morning Chloe," Beca says softly, Chloe grunts and falls back asleep. Beca snickered and went to get her stuff out of the bathroom, giving Chloe more time to sleep. It was only 7:43am after all.

Aubrey came back with a sandwich and two cups of coffee. Beca thanked her and started eating. She wasn't going to lie, she was very hungry. An energy bar can only fill so much.

"She was awake for a small moment, but fell back asleep," Beca said in between chews of her sandwich. Aubrey hums in response and looked around the room.

"Do we just wait for her to wake up then?" Aubrey asked.

"Yea, it's only like 8ish right? Do you need to be anywhere today?" Beca responded.

"No, well I was supposed to be meeting some clients in the firm, but that can be postponed. After all I want to be there for Chloe. Do you?"

"Yea, but I'll call CR later to tell her she should go in instead of me. I can't really leave Chloe now either," Beca answered. She remembers she said Chloe comes first of everything, even her music. Which doesn't happen that often for Beca. But it's Chloe Beale, her best friend, and maybe Beca has a little crush on her but she doesn't need Chloe to worry about her own feelings… Yet.

It was incredibly silent, the only sounds filling the room were occasional sips of coffee and Chloe's light snores. The sound from outside was very bleak inside the room, Beca could make out some nurses talking and beeping from multiple machines.

It takes about an hour of phone games, some casual Beca-Aubrey banters, before Aubrey started to grow restless. She's walked around the room too many times, unlike Beca who's calm and collected. Aubrey can't be anywhere without something to do. Beca thinks that if someone would host a scavenger hunt around the room, Aubrey would find everything in an instant, she's already counted the number of hangers in the closet. And the number of tiles in the room, including the broken one at the far end.

"Aubrey, if you walk one more time in that pattern, I'm sure you'll create a hole. Sit down and relax, would you?" Beca says looking up from her phone. Aubrey sighed and took a seat beside Beca again.

"I mean it's nearing 10am now Becs! Shouldn't you think she'll be awake by now? She slept for… Almost 10 hours now." Aubrey pointed out.

"Bree, you don't get to say that okay? You're not the one with cancer. I'm sure if the roles were reversed here, Chloe would wait until the ends of the earth for you to wake up." Beca glared at Aubrey. And Aubrey knows Beca's right, so she just slumps down at the couch more.

Aubrey ended up taking a small nap and Beca joined at Chloe's end of the bed to give Aubrey space to sleep. Beca sighed as she locks her phone. She looks over to Chloe and smiled when there is color back at her cheeks and her body. She doesn't look too pale anymore and her breathing was normal. She moved to sit beside Chloe and Beca laid down beside her. She took in Chloe's hands again and started to squeeze it. Chloe didn't respond and Beca began to speak softly.

"Chloe… You look so fragile right now. I don't think I can handle losing you Chlo. You mean so much to me, and I care for you a lot. I can't imagine a life without you…" Beca pressed Chloe's hand into her mouth expecting some kind of response, when Chloe doesn't give any Beca sighed and realized she's speaking to a sleeping person. Beca took Chloe in her arms, being careful not to wake her. Then Beca lets sleep get the best of her this time.

-Pandas-

Chloe woke up to someone being pressed against her side, she tried moving her hands but they were held by the person beside her. She slowly opened her eyes, and sat up a bit. She looked to her side and found Beca sleeping soundly beside her. Chloe smiled remembering yesterday, she looked over to the couch and found Aubrey also sleeping silently. Chloe wonders what time it is and took Beca's phone from the side of the bed. She saw it was 10:52am. 'Have I really been sleeping that long?' Chloe thought. She shook Beca lightly, partly because she cares about Beca, and also she doesn't have much energy right now. Beca opened her eyes in an instant, almost like instinct.

"Are you alright Chlo? Do you need me to press the button? How do you feel?" Beca began to remove herself from Chloe. Chloe stopped her and smiled,

"I'm fine Beca, I just want to lay beside you for a bit more," Chloe said pulling Beca back. "Oh, okay," Beca grinned. They got comfortable again and Chloe let out a breath of air.

"How are you Chloe?" Beca asked. Chloe looked up at Beca and for once she looked at her eyes. It was a dark shade of blue, filled with concern. She could get lost in those eyes, just watching them all day.

"I'm good," Chloe smiles. "How long have I been sleeping?"

"More than eleven hours maybe?" Beca answered.

"Wow that's a lot," Chloe said, then yawned. "When did Aubrey come here?"

"About 7am? I don't know, I didn't see the time,"

"Hey Becs, can you call the nurse?" Chloe said in a raspy voice, that was unintentional.

"Why? What happened? Are you hurt?" Beca started to pull away again. Chloe sees Beca panic and squeezes her hand, telling her to calm down.

"No, I just want to get out of here as soon as possible,"

Beca sighed out of relief, "Don't scare me like that Chlo… I thought you're feeling weak again or something,"

Chloe suddenly remembers the events of yesterday, and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Becs," Beca now stood at the side of the bed, nodding her head. She took out her arms out of Chloe and pressed the yellow button.

"Aubrey wake up, Chloe's awake," Beca deadpans, she took out the pillow from underneath Aubrey's head and slammed her face with it.

"Beca… Be nice." Chloe said, giggling at her action. Aubrey groaned in response sitting up, she blinked rapidly and looked over to Chloe.

"Hey Bree," Chloe smiles.

"Hi to you too Chlo," They stay like that, and Beca thought that they're speaking in their minds or something. Then Aubrey got up and hugged Chloe really tightly.

"I'm glad you're okay Chlo. I'm sorry, I didn't come sooner. I'm really sorry, I've been selfish lately. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Aubrey started speaking really fast. Beca didn't dare break their moment, it was something both of them shared together since college. Beca didn't understand it, but their bond _is_ really strong.

"It's okay Bree, thank you for being here." Chloe pulls away and wiped Aubrey's tears. They touched foreheads and both just happy that the other is there. There was a knock at the door and Dr. Neal accompanied by Jane came into the room. Aubrey stood beside Beca now, and Chloe sat upwards on the bed.

"Good morning guys!" Jane greeted sounding very upbeat. "Oh who is this?"

"Oh Alex, Jane, this is Aubrey. Aubrey this is Dr. Neal, my doctor, but you can call her Alex. And that one is Jane, the nurse who helped me yesteday," Chloe introduced. Aubrey held out her hand and both of them shook it.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Aubrey Posen," Aubrey smiled that smile you give when you're uncomfortable with meeting new people.

"Ah, yes! Ms. Posen, I tried calling yesterday. But you weren't able to answer. I'm guessing Beca here called you?" Jane asked.

"Yes, but that incident won't be repeated anytime soon," Aubrey said.

"I'm glad." Dr. Neal stepped in. "Chloe, you can be released soon, but not before I run some tests and take your blood. Is that okay?"

"Yes Alex, that's fine," Chloe nodded her head, and cheered up hearing she's able to go home.

"You can go ahead and get changed after Jane take out these IV's okay? After that I'll come in again to get the blood, send them to the testing area and when we get the results you should be good to go," Alex explained kindly. The three of them nodded and Jane got to work.

After all the tubes went off Chloe's body, Chloe got off from the bed and stretched her arms. She was going to pick up her clothes from yesterday but Beca stopped her.

"Here Chlo. I dropped by your apartment yesterday and got you clean pairs of clothes. Sweatpants, your favourite shirt and a hoodie," Beca said holding out the bag which had clothes inside.

"Thanks Becs," Chloe smiled genuinely walking towards the bathroom. She got out of the pale, blue hospital gown and started to shower. Chloe could make out Beca and Aubrey speaking, but were muffled by the door and her water. Chloe felt really tired. She felt like she had almost no energy. She washed off what she thinks is the hospital smell off of her, as she started to hum some random tunes of songs. She closed her eyes while rubbing hospital shampoo on her and listened intently on the voices outside. Although it was still a bit quiet, she could hear bits and pieces of it.

"... Are you sure…?" That was Aubrey's voice.

"I'm… sure Aubrey, I don't… herself… And it will give… mind," That was Beca's voice.

"All right… I'm gr… you… I'm sure you'll… Of her Beca,"

It doesn't take an idiot for Chloe to know they were talking about her, but what were they talking about? Chloe washed off the shampoo and once it was off, Chloe turned the shower off. She could no longer hear their voices, and she got dressed. She stepped out of the bathroom to see an empty room. First Chloe's confused, and now Chloe's really sad.

"Aubrey…? Beca…?" Chloe called out. There was no answer and Chloe shrugged, then started to clean up her stuff. The door clicked and Chloe turned around to meet Beca and Aubrey with a bag of food and drink.

"We know you didn't eat Chloe, so we got you your favourite, tuna sandwich and this is hot chocolate," Aubrey gestured to the bags.

"You guys didn't have to do that," Chloe said moving to grab the stuff.

"Yes we did, we care about you Chlo. Please eat." Aubrey gave the stuff to Chloe and she accepted it, and started eating.

There was a tension that Chloe could sense and it wasn't comfortable.

"I heard you guys talking about me when I was showering," Chloe said. Aubrey and Beca stopped what they were doing and looked at Chloe.

"What do you think about it? I mean I can't actually do it without your consent but I think it will be good for us, you know?" Beca said sounding nervous.

"I didn't actually hear it, I just know you were talking about me. What did you guys discuss anyway?" Chloe asked as she took a bite out of her sandwich.

"Beca and I were saying how it will be easier if one of us moves in with you. Just to give us a piece of mind you know? Like if something were to happen, I want one of us to be there with you, not 20 minutes drive away from you." Aubrey said. "Just you know, for the time being,"

Chloe thinks about this for a moment. And Beca says, "Look Chlo, I want to be there with you. Until you feel better from this, I'm not letting you go off by yourself,"

Chloe looks up to meet Beca's eyes, and they were sincere. Chloe's face softens and she feels butterflies in her stomach, and her body feels like jelly. "That's umm, that's a good idea actually. Just for a while right?"

Beca downright smiled the brightest smile Chloe's ever seen and Chloe thinks that she's pumping her fist in the air inside right now. Chloe laughs a genuine laugh and Aubrey joined too. Now they're laughing over nothing because it's so good to hear Chloe laugh. All of them wished that this moment could last forever. It feels like they're running away from reality for a while. It's such a good feeling.

Of course, good feelings don't last forever.

Dr. Neal came in with a vial and greeted the three girls. "What's happening here? I could hear you guys' laugh from outside the door," She smiled.

"Nothing, haha," Chloe smiled and they died down for a while. "Alright, alright, old people like me don't understand youngsters nowadays, I get it," And the three of them laughed for a bit again.

"So Chloe I'll just get your blood and the results should come back in soon, so let me just-" Dr. Neal moved over to sit beside Chloe on the couch and took her blood "Do that,". After 3 vials of blood have been taken from Chloe, Dr. Neal left. Aubrey, Beca and Chloe were in the room alone again.

"Thank you guys," Chloe smiled and clapped her hand together. "For caring,"

"Our pleasure,"

"We'll always be here Chlo," Chloe grinned and they got into a comfortable conversation.

"So Chlo, do you want to move into my house or I'll go to your apartment?" Beca asked after a while.

"I think it'll be easier if you move in with Chloe, Beca. She'll have all her stuff in her house and it's easier for her," Aubrey said. "Of course it'll be up to you Chloe,"

"I'm happy either way, but umm... Can you come to my house Beca? I want to be in the comfort of my house… If that's okay with you?" Chloe hesitated.

"No, of course it's fine Chlo! I'm the one that asked."

"So she'll just take you home after this yeah?" Aubrey questioned.

"I actually brought my car here, so I'll just meet you at my house Becs," Chloe said confidently. But Aubrey and Beca soon shot down that idea.

"I took a taxi here Chlo because I didn't know the hospital, so Beca will take you home while I'll take your car," Aubrey said.

"Yea Chlo, you're not in a state to drive yet." Beca finished. Chloe sighed, she was being treated like a patient already. She knows that she can't drive too, but she wants to feel normal again before all of this comes into place. The tests results came back half hour later and Dr. Neal came in with it.

Beca was beside Chloe and Chloe took in Beca's hands in hers. Aubrey noticed this but didn't say anything. Dr. Neal started to say something and she smiled,

"Chloe looks like you're good to go! Your results came back normal and you're looking healthier than yesterday. Come back next week Saturday for another session, at 10am this time. We won't give you anything that will trigger that allergy. Sounds good?" Dr. Neal asked. All the three of them nodded and Chloe squeezed Beca's hand, and she repeated it back.

"But I advise you to stay away from sharp objects, any bleeding is fatal Chloe. Your tests came out good but you're a little bit low on white blood cells. That's totally normal for someone with a condition like you, but please if you're bleeding. Stop. It. Immediately." Dr. Neal warned. "If somehow the bleeding isn't stopping, don't hesitate to call an ambulance please. Or send her here as fast as possible. It's a matter of life and death, okay? Do the three of you understand?" Dr. Neal asked.

"Yes Alex," The three of them said.

"Okay Chloe, you're good to go," Alex smiled waving them towards the door. "Thank you!" Chloe said.

They did the check out of the hospital thing and Chloe paid the funds. When they were reaching outside, they caught a glimpse of Jane. They waved her over and began to thank her,

"Jane thank you so much for everything yesterday." Chloe said sincerely.

"I dont think I did that much Chloe, but I am always happy to help," Jane winked. "It's what I do."

They waved Jane goodbye and Chloe somehow knew that she was hinting at something but shrugged it off. Chloe caught up with Beca and Aubrey, and she held Beca's hand. She's just really happy that her two best friends are here right now, helping her. Especially Beca.

In that moment Beca's eyes met Chloe's. Yea. Especially her.

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A/N: This is more like a filler chapter before the next few. Because it's gonna start to take a turn guys. As usual, anything you wanna tell me is welcome below. Constructive criticism? Thoughts? Feelings? Questions on what's going to happen in the future? Just review, cuz I'll probably answer them in the next chapter. Like seriously, it makes me happy I can get to know you guys and make this story more comfortable for youu. And you know my **cough** tumblr is open as well (Hahaha shameless promo.) haveyouseenmypanda dot tumblr dot com

 _jalex1: I'm happy Beca is there to comfort her too, but will she stay? (hint hint)_

 _guest2002: Awhh thank youu! Honestly I don't think I'm that good of a writer and I'm glad you're enjoying the frequent updates. (Procrastination amirite)_

 _Guest: Isn't itt? And thank youuu~ :)_

 _marieke1: Thank you so much! I don't know what Chloe's fate will be yet... We'll see :P_

 _Bechloe Reader: I hope Aubrey was portrayed better in this chapter. :)_

 _Kurochin: I know, let's just see where this story goes buddy. But I will tell you that they do end up together. (Whoops spoiler..) ;)_

 _EmoPenguino182: Nah this story still got a long way to go man, maybe 20-ish chapters? If the aca-gods are willing. :P_


	5. Laughter is the best medicine

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

A/N: Also I know next to nothing about Cancer, I'm basing this off of experience with a family member and wikipedia, so if something's wrong. _Please don't hesitate to tell me._

P.S: I'm really sorry. This chapter wasn't checked and short. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

 **HOPING FOR TOMORROW**

* * *

Chapter 5: Laughter is the best medicine

 _Aubrey soon parted with Beca and Chloe to ride in Beca's car. Beca notices Chloe being a little slow and down than usual, but doesn't bring it up. Once they got into the car, Chloe briefly fought with Beca on who was driving. Ultimately, Beca won, therefore Chloe reluctantly went to the passenger seat and sulked as Beca drove away from the parking lot._

* * *

Chloe immediately rests her head on the back of the seat and the car window, while bringing up her legs close to her body so she's hugging them. Neither of them had bothered to say anything, and Chloe was growing sleepier by the minute. Beca had turned on the radio at some point during the ride and a soft melody of one of her mixes played through.

"Beca," Chloe called.

"Yea?"

"Aren't you supposed to be in the studio? You didn't go for like 3 days now." Chloe stated.

"Well you're more important than that, and besides there's CR there to take care of stuff," Beca replied.

"Beca… Don't lose your job over me, I don't want you to risk anything. I can take care-" Chloe was cut off by Beca.

"No Chloe you can't. I don't want you to say that one more time. I already decided that I'm going to be here to help you through this, and you can't convince me otherwise." She huffed out annoyingly.

Chloe swallowed a gulp and hugged herself tighter. All of this is becoming too real for her and she wanted to cry. What would crying even do, it just makes her seem more helpless and miserable. But Chloe already thought everyone saw her like that now anyway. It's just a matter of time, when everyone around her is going to go against her, treating her like a patient more than a human. Chloe didn't know when but she fell asleep after deep thinking, but the voices in Chloe's head is only becoming louder,

"Chloe don't do it, that's dangerous," A voice said when Chloe is trying to cook.

"Chloe you look tired, let me help you," Another voice came in when Chloe is just merely taking the tv remote off the coffee table.

"Chloe don't. Just let me." Another voice rang through her ears.

"I can do it by myself!"

"No you can't!" All of the voices mocked her, and Chloe soon became scared.

"Chloe… Chloe… Chloe!"

Chloe woke up from her dream and realized where she was. They were currently stuck in L.A's famous traffic jams. Chloe looked to her side and Beca was staring at her with a concerned look on her face.

"Wanna talk about it?" Beca asked.

"It's just… It's becoming too real for me. I really have cancer don't I?" Chloe laughed bitterly.

"Chlo… I don't ever think less of you as a person if you have cancer. You're Chloe fucking Beale. The only one who managed to barge into my shower in my freshman year and get me to sing without triggering a panic attack for me," Beca smiled lightly as she moved the car a little bit forward.

"Thanks Becs, I just don't want people to think I'm a weak person that constantly needs help with every little thing, _just_ because I have cancer."

"Chloe. Don't ever think less of yourself okay? I'm here for you, that doesn't mean I'm taking my life away from you,"

The rest of the drive was silent. Chloe alternated between sleeping and staring outside the window at the cars that drive by. Chloe immediately gave a reaction when Beca drove by the school that she teaches. Beca noticed and sighed,

"Chlo, you know you're going to have to… You know… layoff teaching for a bit right?" Beca bit her lip.

"Yeah. I figured. Can we not talk about this right now? I don't feel like it's the right time yet…" Chloe said, and Beca respected her decision knowing that this matter would have to be brought at another time. Especially since her job starts in two days.

Not long after that Beca was parking at the basement of Chloe's apartment. Both absent-mindedly got out of the car, as Aubrey was pulling over too. They forgot about Aubrey for a moment and Chloe can't get rid of the little feeling that she just wants to be alone with Beca right now. Of course she's not going to say it out loud, because she's afraid to hurt the blonde's feelings. But the feeling was there. And Chloe can't figure out why it is.

-Pandas-

"Hey Aubrey, good drive?" Beca asked opening the back of Chloe's car to get out the bags and closing it again.

"Yea, just the usual traffic. I wasn't that far behind you guys too, half the time I could see your car," Aubrey replied going to Chloe who was staring into space with her feet half out of the car.

"You alright Chlo? Is something wrong?" Aubrey asked as she locked Beca's car from a distance. Beca went to Chloe as well as Chloe jumped out of the car,

"Nah I'm good," Chloe smiled and closed the car door a little weakly, Beca noticed. Chloe practically had to drag her whole body to the lift and when they waited for it, Chloe was leaning against the wall on the side.

"Are you sure you're alright Chloe?" Aubrey asked. Chloe looked up at her and shook her head, "Yep Bree, I'm fine."

Beca and Aubrey shared a short glance at each other, noting that something was wrong with Chloe. When the lift came Chloe nearly tripped on the small gap, and had to grip the rod on the side for support the whole way up to the 17th floor. Chloe stumbled out and walked slowly to her apartment 17-04, Beca and Aubrey not far behind, as if watching the redheads footsteps.

Beca handed Chloe's keys from her bag, and Chloe had to put physical effort to finally put the key in the keyhole. Aubrey wanted to help Chloe everytime Chloe messed up on the way up, but Beca would always silently stop her, remembering their talk in the car. Chloe didn't notice any of this, and Beca was thankful for that.

Chloe headed straight for the couch and laid down on it, covering her face with a pillow. A muffled voice came out of her that both Beca and Aubrey couldn't hear.

"I'm sorry what?"

"What was that Chlo?"

Chloe removed the pillow from her face and repeated her statement, "I said I didn't know going up my apartment would be this physically tiring for a sick person,"

Beca and Aubrey both stopped what they were doing and faced Chloe who was now staring at the ceiling.

"Chloe, it's not always going to be this way. It's because you just got out of the hospital, it's normal for people to feel tired." Aubrey beaconed.

"You don't know that," Chloe mumbled.

Ten minutes later Chloe has fallen into a nap on the couch. Beca and Aubrey are sitting around Chloe's living room, Aubrey on the other smaller couch and Beca on the other end of the one Chloe's sleeping in, with Chloe's feet up on her lap.

"Beca. I don't know what to do. I don't want to leave Chloe but I can't stand not doing _something._ " Aubrey said stopping on the news channel after what seemed like ages of scrolling through.

"Then take a jog, clean up the house, go answer emails, I don't know? What does Aubrey Posen do for fun?" Beca asked. "In these circumstances, I mean,"

"I don't really know, work I guess?"

"I know! Why don't you cook something, I haven't had a decent meal in ages." Beca said.

"Is this your excuse to admit you're hungry? And that you love my cooking?" Aubrey smirked.

"Oh please. I'm just thinking that if Chloe wakes up, she's gonna be hungry, is all…" Beca argued. Aubrey stared at her amusingly and Beca gave in, "Fine! I miss your cooking… And I really want you to make that _delicious_ pasta,"

Aubrey laughed and got up to walk to the kitchen. Beca was secretly planning this all along though, because Beca knows Chloe doesn't have any pasta in the kitchen.

"Beca! Chloe doesn't have any pasta!" Aubrey called from the kitchen.

"Then go to the grocery store to get some! You need something to do anyway! Take my car," Beca called back, loud enough for Aubrey to hear but not enough to wake Chloe.

"Okay, I'll be back in a bit." Beca heard Aubrey say and waited for the door to click. Beca smiled when Aubrey was gone, she didn't really want that pasta, but she did want to be alone with Chloe for a while. Don't get her wrong, she likes the blonde and is really happy that she's here to help Chloe. But there's this tingling sensation in the back of her head that wants Chloe all to herself. Beca looked at Chloe's peaceful sleeping face and smiled softly.

"You know it's rude to stare at people sleeping Mitchell," Chloe grumbled.

"Sorry, go back to sleep." Beca looked to the tv that was blaring in the background.

"You're thinking woke me up. Think softer," Beca snickered at Chloe comment and mumbled out another sorry. Chloe sat up and leaned her body against Beca taking in Beca's hand and squeezing it. Beca tensed at the touch at first but smiled again because Chloe remembers the hand thing.

"What were you thinking about?" She asked.

"I'm going to be honest with you. I love that Aubrey is here to help and all but I kind of purposely sent her away to the grocery store to get pasta because I want to be alone with you for a while," Beca said honestly playing with Chloe hand.

"Pasta?"

"You're seriously going to ask about pasta after I just told you that I told you best friend to go away so that I can spend time with you?" Beca asked disbelievingly, Chloe just hummed.

"Huh. So you don't mind?"

"Not really, because I was kinda thinking of that too."

"Really? About sending Aubrey to get pasta?" Chloe giggled a little at that, but replied, "No, about wanting to be alone with you…"

"Of course, I'm a _much_ better company than Posen," Both of them laugh a bit.

"Don't get your ego too high up DJ, I could just call Aubrey back right now and tell her to stop making that pasta,"

"NO!"

And then they laugh a whole hearted laugh because it's good to hear Chloe laugh. Beca notices all of Chloe's features when she laughs. The way that her smile gets bigger after each laugh. The way her lips are so unbelievably soft, even though they've gone dry a bit. Her cheeks are slightly tainted pink despite the pale face. The way her eyes almost close and each time they open up, they reveal the beautiful, shining, most amazing- Wait what? Beca's laugh dies down a bit and so did Chloe. Chloe just snuggled more against Beca's side now and Beca's heart was beating faster.

'Did she seriously just describe her best friend like that? Do friends do that to each other?' Beca thought.

"Stop thinking Mitchell, some of us are trying to sleep" Chloe mumbled from Beca's shoulder.

"Oh sorry," Beca breathed a long sigh and embraced Chloe. Both of them succumbed to sleep not long after.

-Pandas-

Chloe woke up to an empty space beside her and the smell of cooked pasta. She smiled a bit knowing that Beca's probably in the kitchen begging Aubrey to let her taste it.

"But Breeeeeee,"

"No Beca!"

Chloe giggled knowing that she was right. She stretched a bit and got up from the couch. She held her head slightly feeling a little bit dizzy from standing too fast. Beca and Aubrey noticed her and Beca stood by her like a flash.

"You okay? Do you need help?" Beca held Chloe's hand.

"Nah I'm good, I just stood up too fast," Chloe's voice was genuine and Beca believed her.

"Beca, pasta's ready!" Aubrey called from the dining room, hearing their conversation. Beca jumped out of Chloe's grasp and ran like a lovesick puppy to the pasta. Aubrey and Chloe laughed as Beca immediately took a plate and started diving in.

"Whoa, leave some for us Mitchell," Aubrey giggled. The three of them fell into a comfortable conversation after that while eating. Once they finished, Aubrey took their plates and did the dishes. Chloe and Beca went back to the living room to watch what was on TV, and much to Beca's dismay it was America's Next Top Model. Aubrey joined soon and Beca knew that this conversation has to happen sometime, and she would preferably get it over with than holding it in.

"Chlo, what are you going to do about your job?" Beca slowly started. Chloe tensed at that and Aubrey sent a look at Beca's way that read, 'we're really going to do this now?' and Chloe noticed that look.

"I don't know yet, obviously I know I'm not going to continue teaching but can we just talk about this tomorrow please? I need some time to think about it. And I'm tired." She countered.

"Yea it is getting pretty late, I should go home. I'm free tomorrow again though, so I'll come by around eleven okay?" Aubrey got up from the couch and made her way towards the door.

"Take care of Chloe okay Beca?" And with that Aubrey left. Chloe straightened her position, once again left alone with Beca. She looked towards her and smiled when she noticed that beca was fighting off sleep. The redhead was confused, they've done nothing but lay around all day, how could they be _this_ sleepy?

"Beca, do you wanna go to sleep?" Chloe offered.

"Yea, I think I need it," Beca yawned. And Chloe thought that Beca looked very cute when she was tired. Wait a minute, did she just call Beca cute?

"I can sleep on the couch if you'd like," Beca said. "Don't be silly, you can sleep with me on my bed. It's big enough for two," Chloe mentioned as she stood up not too fast this time.

Beca followed her into her room and Chloe gave her some clothes to change to. Chloe changed and got ready for bed first in the bathroom, and that gave her time to think. 'Did I really just call Beca cute? _And_ openly invite her to sleep next to me?' Chloe thought and sighed as she finished brushing her teeth. She opened the door and let Beca in. She made her way towards the bed and laid on her side.

Beca came out about the same time that Chloe took preparing and got comfortable on the other side of Chloe's bed. There was a noticeable gap between them that was filled with a bolster. Both wanted to reach for each other, but was too nervous to do so. Because they were just friends. Chloe fell asleep a little while later with a slight frown on her face.

-Pandas-

Beca woke up in the middle of the night with something pressed against her back. Somehow Chloe got through the middle of the bed and got rid of the bolster between them and was now hugging Beca's waist with their feet tangled with each other. And unlike a few hours ago, now Beca has a smile on her face and so does Chloe as Beca hugged her tighter not wanting the other to go.

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A/N: This chapter was originally going to be really dark but I didn't have the mood to write it this week because my cousins came and took all my time away. I'm sorry DX But next chapter you'll see what I mean, and I'm sorry for the short chapter, at least some fluff is better than nothing right? I'll be going away on a trip tomorrow, so next chapter will probably be Sunday or next week Monday. Thanks for the support guys! As always, thoughts? Feelings? Constructive criticism? A hi because you're bored? Leave all of them in the review thing below. Or in my tumblr, it's the same thing as my username. See you soon :)

 _P.S: Bechloe will happen sooooon. Like really soon._

 _CrimsonBalance: Thank you, and I'm sorry this chapter is a little short._

 _marieke1: Thanks. :)_

 _jalex1: They will be together soon. #waitforchapter7 ;)_

 _Kurochin: Thanks for the follow, and originally yes it was supposed to be sad. Butttt it turned out this way... I'm really sorryyy ._

 _EmoPenguino182: Thank youu. :)_


	6. I'm ready to go

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

A/N: Also I know next to nothing about Cancer, I'm basing this off of experience with a family member and wikipedia, so if something's wrong. _Please don't hesitate to tell me._

* * *

 **HOPING FOR TOMORROW**

* * *

Chapter 6: I'm ready to go.

 _Beca woke up to Chloe still sleeping beside her, and got out of the bed, careful not to wake the other girl. She noticed Chloe looked a little paler than yesterday and there were a few more bruises appearing on her leg, now that she wore shorts. Beca brushed it off as nothing and took a quick shower. When she got out the redhead hadn't moved from her spot and Beca merely went to the kitchen to make herself some breakfast. She's a little surprised that Chloe still hasn't woken up, now that it's nearing 10. Beca wouldn't dare to wake her though, so she just sat on the couch, waiting._

* * *

A familiar ring sounded through the silent apartment. Beca rose from the couch and went to check her phone, it was a text message from Aubrey.

 _[Aubrey 10:13 AM] Hey Beca, something came up from the office and I have to deal with it. I'll still come by in the evening though. Just letting you know._

 _[Beca 10:14 AM] Okay Bree._

A few minutes later Beca decided to text Aubrey again.

 _[Beca 10:18 AM] Hey is it normal for Chloe to be sleeping in? She hasn't woken up yet._

 _[Aubrey 10:20 AM] I guess it's normal? She has got a lot of fluids pumped to her body, I think she just needs rest. A lot of it._

 _[Beca 10:21 AM] Oh ok. I'll call you if anything comes up._

Aubrey sent her the thumbs up emoji and Beca shut her phone. She didn't bother to bring her laptop and equipment because she thought she'll be back in her house soon. 'That was a mistake' Beca thought.

The house seems so lifeless, it's not the usual atmosphere when you step into the Beale residence. Beca thought how when she came to Chloe's apartment, there was always a smell of something cooking in the kitchen, the sound of Chloe's voice melodically ringing through the place, the sunlight always going through the window that made the apartment seem brighter than it already is.

And now. The curtains were pulled in, leaving only some streaks of sunlight through. There was dust slowly creeping into the place and the kitchen was only filled with whatever Chloe had in the fridge. It seemed like the whole place was nearly dying, it's breathing strained as ever. And Beca was suffocating inside.

Beca got another call, this time it was Cynthia-Rose calling her.

"Hello Beca?" CR's voice rang through. CR had been by Beca's side since they left Barden. CR now became Beca's personal assistant and both were very happy with the outcome.

"Yea CR, What's up?"

"Yo you haven't been in the studio for like 4 days now! Where you've been man?"

"I uhh... I had to take some time off dude. Something important came up and I have to deal with it. Don't worry I'll be there tomorrow! I promise." Beca replied not wanting to say about Chloe's cancer without her consent.

"Sure okay. But next time give me a call? I've been handling these meetings like crazy! Remember your deadline for that new album is on Friday." CR reminded.

"Yeah yeah, don't worry. I'm working on it." Beca lied being nowhere near done with it. She was going to put Chloe's vocals in for one of the songs but that plan backfired.

"Okay take care of yourself Becs,"

"Thanks CR, see you."

Beca hung up the phone and sighed. Chloe still hasn't woken up from her slumber. It's nearing 11 now and Beca has almost had it with watching TV, she resorted to watching Nickelodeon's Spongebob. Yes, she was that bored. Just when Beca was about to wake Chloe, the redhead came out of the room.

Beca smiled but it was quickly dropped when she took in Chloe's features. She was shivering, despite it being a normal temperature in the room. Her eyes were droopy and swollen. She was hugging her body so tightly that it was worrying Beca.

"Chlo... Are you okay?" Beca asked as she stood up from the couch and approached the redhead. Chloe shook her head and threw herself at Beca. She started crying and holding on to Beca's small frame so strongly that Beca had to use the side of the couch for support.

"Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong Chlo?" Beca asked as she hugged Chloe back softly.

"Everything hurts Beca." Chloe said in between sobs.

"Oh..." Was all Beca could say because what do you say in a situation like this. Chloe continued to cry as Beca slowly lead her to the couch. Beca let Chloe cry as she rubbed soothing circles on her back.

Beca's position on the couch wasn't that comfortable but she'll be damned if she dare make Chloe even upset. Chloe was practically on her lap hugging Beca's torso and head buried deep in Beca's neck. While Beca was trying desperately not to make it so obvious that she was getting cramps from this. Because she'll do anything for Chloe. Anything.

They stayed in their position until Chloe fell silent with the occasional sniffle. The smallest of voices came out of Chloe,

"I'm sorry Beca. I really am."

"No no no. Don't be sorry. You're hurting, why should you be sorry?"

"Because I'm putting you through all this. I didn't even have enough energy to stand up, I've been awake for the past half hour. I called you several times but I guess my voice was too soft..."

"Oh my god. Chlo, I'm so sorry! Next time I'll leave the door open. That was so stupid of me! I'm the one who should be sorry." Beca beat herself up over this.

"No, it's fine. You didn't know."

They sat there for a while after that and Beca's twitching a little bit because of pins and needles on her feet. Of course, she didn't have any courage to tell Chloe though.

"You hungry Chlo? I can make you something or order stuff?" Beca asked as an excuse to get Chloe to move.

"We can just order something, Jane said something about keeping a good diet so I think pizza is out of the question then..."

"We can order chinese, that's healthy enough right? You basically have nothing in the kitchen." Beca reasoned.

"Sure that works..." Chloe said.

Beca noticed that Chloe's voice is a little strained. Her usual upbeat tone is replaced with a slow and steady one. And that high pitched Chloe Beale sound is almost non-existent anymore. Beca hates it.

Chloe tried to move away from Beca but Beca noticed that each time the redhead moved, she would wince slightly. So Beca put one hand under Chloe's knees and one hand steady on her back, then slowly put Chloe beside her with a smile to make her feel better.

"Thanks," Chloe muttered as she reached for a pillow to hug.

Beca got the number for the chinese place from the fridge and proceeded to call them. She ordered enough food for both of them, remembering Chloe's order from back in Barden.

"Fourty minutes? Okay that'll be fine. Thank you!" Beca finished the call after the guy said his farewell too. After that Beca went back to the couch to go to Chloe.

"Becs, can you help me?"

"Sure what do you need Red?"

"I want to shower, help me up?"

"Sure..." Beca slowly lifted Chloe up by the arms and guided her to her room. Beca went to Chloe's closet to get her some clothes and put it in the bathroom.

"If you need me, I'll be out here okay?" Beca reassured Chloe.

"Okay," And with that Chloe went inside the bathroom. Beca collapsed on the bed and sighed. She could hear the water from inside start and figured Chloe is already showering.

"Shit!" Beca heard Chloe curse from inside the bathroom. Beca was in front of the door in an instant.

"You okay there Chloe?" Beca knocked.

"Can you come in Becs?" Chloe's voice from inside the room said. Beca blushed and asked Chloe, "Are-are you sure Chlo?"

"Yea, I'm clothed."

Beca opened the door and found a pantless Chloe gripping her shirt.

"What's wrong?" Beca asked.

"When I tried to take my shirt off, it- it hurt." Chloe explained.

"Oh... Umm... Do you want me to take it off?" Beca asked unsurely, Chloe bit her lip and nodded. Beca gulped and stood closer to Chloe and slowly lifted up her shirt, looking anywhere but to her. It's not that she's nervous to see Chloe naked- because she's seen it multiple times before- it's just she's the one that's disrobing her. Moreover, this is the first time Chloe's let her seen the bruises beneath her shirt. Beca gasped when she saw Chloe's body, if it weren't for cancer, Beca would've thought Chloe's been beat up badly.

"Don't- don't look at them please?" Chloe said quivering from shame or from fear or both.

"I'm sorry..." Beca took Chloe's shirt and put it beside the sink. Then went out of the bathroom before her mind decides to do another stupid thing today.

Beca sat on the bed and looked forward. Her eyes are slightly stinging from the lack of blinking but she doesn't care. All she could think of right now is the way Chloe acted in the bathroom compared to the first time they met in the shower stalls at BU.

"I'm pretty confident about... All this." Chloe's voice that day rang through Beca's ears and one part of her mind like crazy. The other part thinking of, "Don't- don't look at them please?"

Both the same person. Different personalities. Beca thought how it's funny that Cancer has already become a big effect on Chloe's life. She thought she might have the normal Chloe for at least a month before everything started happening but how she was so wrong. This was only a week and a half after being diagnosed. Beca can't imagine how things would be after a month or two.

If she even stays alive that long.

The inevitability of death is clear in Beca's mind. It was always there in the first place. But Beca didn't think it would happen so soon. Still there was the slight possibility that Chloe's treatment would work and it would cure Chloe of it. The chances were too far apart though, remembering that Chloe told her that she only had 30% of survival. Shit.

Beca's eyes were hurting now and Beca realized why. She put the back of her palm against them and started to get rid of the tears.

"Fucking hell." Beca whispered, voice ragged. She took a deep breath and huffed not wanting Chloe to hear her, as she no longer can listen to the sound of water.

"Beca..." Chloe called again. Beca stood up trying to get rid of any evidence that she had been crying. She opened the door to again a half dressed Chloe, only her bra strap wasn't clasped. Beca quickly registered what to do in her head, and did it with minimal eye contact to Chloe as possible. The tension in the bathroom wasn't awkward, there wasn't much at all. But Beca could tell Chloe's slight discomfort. She pulled Chloe's top over her head and giggled when Chloe looked disheveled after that. Chloe smiled a bit and put her hands through the arm holes.

After they were both done Beca was still gripping the hem of Chloe's shirt and looked at Chloe's eyes. Chloe looked at Beca's too. There was a moment where Beca looked at Chloe's lip and wanted nothing more than to kiss her and tell her everything's going to be okay, but she just sighed and smiled.

"There! All dressed up,"

"Hehe, thank you Beca," Chloe replied slowly moving out of her grasp.

One thing's for certain in Beca's head. Chloe's eyes would always be as ocean blue as ever, and she hopes nothing will ever change that.

-Pandas-

Chloe moved out of the bathroom with Beca's help and moved towards the couch again. She was feeling a little bit hungry but the ache in her body overcomes every other need. It's not even that bad but the fact that there are multiple of them in several areas is what makes it painful. Chloe was afraid that Beca would think less of her and more fragile than she already is when she saw the bruises. And Chloe won't lie, she looked like a preschooler painted her whole body with blue and purple paint. Not doing a very good job at it either. There were multiple little ones on her stomach, a big one on her right side all the way up to just below her neck, her thighs were covered with them too, as did her arms and back. Chloe hated being this way.

"When did it get so cold in my apartment?" She asked Beca.

"Oh, let me turn the AC up." Beca replied fidgeting with the remote for a while. Beca disappeared into the room and came back with her blanket. She plopped down next to Chloe and draped the blanket over the both of them. Beca going closer to Chloe incase she wants to lean on her side again. Which she does.

As much as Chloe loves wasting the day away, it was almost 1 now and she knows Beca deserves an answer to her teacher problem. Though Chloe had decided this a long time ago.

"I'm going to take leave tomorrow," Chloe said simply.

"What really?" Beca spluttered.

"Yeah. I kinda already told my supervisor about it and he said I could and if I'm free of this I could go back to my usual teaching schedule."

"Wow that's very nice of him, when did you tell him this exactly?"

"When I woke up and was on my bed, I emailed him, and he replied almost immediately that the leave will affect almost nothing in my career. It's nice to hear that he cares,"

"Yea, I'm glad to hear that too Chlo," Beca smiled.

"Can you come with me to the school tomorrow to pick up my stuff?"

"Oh, I have to go to the studio tomorrow... CR can only handle so much... That reminds me, are you thinking of telling the Bellas soon? I didn't tell CR anything yet, but I have a feeling she's gonna start questioning me tomorrow," Beca explained.

"Oh ok then, I'll just go with Bree or alone or something. And I don't want to tell the Bellas yet Becs, I will tell them in due time but tomorrow's just too soon,"

"Okay," Beca's hands found Chloe's and squeezed it.

"What is it with you and taking my hands Mitchell?" Chloe asked squeezing back. Beca then light up and told her the story about her mom and how it was one of her fondest memories of her mother.

"Huh, how very sappy of you," Chloe giggled.

"Oh shut up..." Beca huffed and released her arms from Chloe, only to cross it.

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding... It's actually kind of cute." Chloe gave a light laugh. And untangled Beca's arm to hold again.

"Hey! I am not cute," Beca pouted facing Chloe.

"Sure you aren't," Chloe laughed.

"Back to the matter at hand. Are you sure you're going to do it tomorrow? I mean, don't you want a week with your kids?" Beca asked going back to the teacher topic.

"No it'll be easier for me to part with them when they've forgotten about me in the holidays. And I guess tomorrow would be the day I won't feel like dyi-" Chloe stopped mid-sentence. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"You don't have to apologize Chlo. I know that it's there and I'm trying to embrace it rather than fight it. Wait. No. I mean- I know it's there, that doesn't mean I want it to happen. I'm, I just. I'm sorry." Beca rambled but Chloe didn't bring herself to listen because she's thinking about death now. There was a 70% chance she was going to die soon and she'll be lying if she said she wasn't fucking scared. Her stomach churned at the thought of it. The air was suddenly to dry to breathe and Chloe had to remind herself where she was.

Death huh? Chloe never thought she would die at such a young age. She was hoping she would've gotten married, have kids, and grew old together with her significant other then die, after living good life. Never would she thought that she would die in her late-twenties by cancer. No. Chloe was too optimistic for that. But here she is, lying helplessly against Beca for support.

Beca.

There was something about Beca that intrigued Chloe since the very beginning. She's had a crush on the little brunette since after her freshman year, but that Jesse got in the way. When Jesse got a career in Asia doing something big for the movie production there, Beca and him broke up not even attempting long distance. Chloe thought she had a chance then, and she wanted to confess to Beca sooner. But now Chloe can't even do anything without Beca's help.

Chloe thought that Beca wouldn't want someone as broken and bruised as her. Who needs to constantly be monitored every time they're out together. And more importantly Chloe doesn't want to have to put Beca through her death harder than it is now. It's painful enough that her best friend would die. Chloe can't imagine Beca losing her as a girlfriend. It would just be a burden to Beca, and Chloe really doesn't want that. If it means that Chloe will have to suffer without Beca as her other so that Beca would have an easier life, then so be it.

Chloe listened to the steady rhythm of Beca's breathing from her side. It's almost like Beca's a lullaby, because Beca could lull her to sleep without an effort. Chloe would've fallen asleep again but the buzzer rang indicating the food was here.

"I'll go get that," Beca said as she disentangled herself from Chloe's hold and Chloe frowned from the lack of touch. Chloe watched as Beca went and answered the buzzer and sent him up to Chloe's apartment. She waited in front of the door for the food. Then took and paid the guy.

"Beca! You didn't have to pay for my food, I'll pay you back. Here, let me get my wallet." Chloe said as she tried to get up from the couch.

"No you stay right there Chlo. I don't want you to move anywhere." Beca sounded very demanding.

"Beca I think I can handle going to get my wallet," Chloe said trying to persuade Beca.

"No just let me get it," Beca pushed on.

"Beca it's fine, honestly,"

"But-"

"But nothing Beca! You promised that I won't be treated like this! I think I can handle getting my own wallet." Chloe gritted her teeth. She didn't know what came over her, but immediately regrets it.

"Sorry umm... I'll just go... Go get it." And walked to her purse.

"It's okay, I'll... I'll go put this in the dining room..." Beca slowly moved out of the room with a frown on her face.

Chloe now feels like she had just kicked a small puppy from the way Beca looked. Chloe knew she was just trying to help her, but there are things Chloe are still capable to do. Sure, the bathroom incident was a bit far fetched, and Beca had the right intention to offer help. Chloe just wants her dignity back. For God's sake she was the one that has cancer! Why does it feel like she's the one who hurt Beca? Beca hurt her.

Chloe can't put the blame on anyone else but Beca. She blames her that she can't touch her. She blames her that she can't kiss her. She blames all the things that she can't do on Beca because honestly. Who else is there.

Who else was willing to move in with a cancer patient and be this tolerant with her. Who else would go by her side in an instant because something was wrong. Who else would Chloe go to for help like these.

No one that is.

All Chloe wants is to be Beca's everything. What she doesn't realize is that she already is.

-Pandas-

Beca went into the dining room and set up the table. She was pretty upset that Chloe got mad at her for trying to help, she did have trouble getting dressed. So it's only logical for Beca to offer help right?

"Fuck I screwed up." Beca whispered. Why did Chloe have this much of an effect on her? All she did was go get the wallet herself so why did Beca feel like she's been rejected by her. Beca's heart clenched knowing the she hurt Chloe, but if she could handle that by herself then why did she have to get so angry at her. Beca noticed Chloe walking in because of the shadows, she moved past her and got the cutlery. Beca placed the forks and spoons on the table before turning to Chloe. Chloe held out a 20 dollar bill and Beca took it to put in her pocket.

Beca sat down on the chair furthest from Chloe and ate her food silently. They didn't utter a single word to each other, and when they finished Beca took the finished plates and began washing the dishes.

Beca wanted desperately to just turn around to Chloe and say 'God. Chloe, let me just be there for you.' but she doesn't. She's afraid that Chloe will shut her out after Beca's attempt to get in. She knew Chloe wasn't comfortable with herself now that she has cancer but Beca doesn't care. All she wants is for Chloe to trust her. Beca didn't realize that she stopped washing and her fingers are soon becoming wrinkled from the water. Chloe was staring at her now, fists deep inside her pocket.

Beca finished drying the last fork and put them back in the drawer. She put her two hands on the side of the sink and sighed. Chloe watched this and moved closer to Beca.

"Beca-"

"No Chlo, it's fine. I'm the one who's sorry okay? I wasn't respecting your decision that you wanted to be treated normal. But please listen to me. I can't help it. Seeing you like this physically pains me that- that I can't do anything about it! Chloe. God, I care for you so much! I can't stand seeing you so helpless. I'm begging you, let me help. I'm not here to take your life away Chlo, we've established that. I just want you to live what probably is the last moments of your life happy and carefree. Not in pain and misery. So sue me for saying that you're going to die, but it's- it's a fact... You have 30% survival rate Chloe. And dear God I'm holding on to every piece of that but I'm constantly reminded daily that you're dying Chlo! I'm going to lose you and I can't stand that. Please understand I want to be here for you, everyday if I have to. I'm so fucking sorry that I hurt you. But I'm not sorry that I'm just trying to help." Beca now was in the verge of crying, fuck being strong. Fuck all these emotions. She just wants Chloe to acknowledge that she is here. And she isn't going away.

Chloe's lips were trembling now and her eyes filled with unshed tears. She can't bring herself to say anything because Beca's right. She's always been right. So Chloe did what Chloe did best. She pulled Beca into her arms and cried. Both of them is crying now, and they don't give a shit about anything else besides each other.

"I know Beca. Thank you." Chloe said in between sobs. Beca held Chloe closer by the waist and Chloe was clinging on Beca's neck.

"I'm sorry Chloe." Chloe shook her head at that and removed her head and hands from Beca. She gently cupped Beca's face and wiped her tears.

"Beca look at me." Beca heard Chloe say. Beca opened her eyes and looked at Chloe's intense gaze. Her eyes were so captivating to look at that she got lost in them.

"Beca. You are not going to be sorry for me anymore got it? You are allowed to feel any emotion you feel, but this isn't your fault. It's not your fault I have cancer. And I refuse to let you think that. I'm going to ask this one more time Beca. Are you sure you want to be here?"

"Yes. I wouldn't give anything not to."

And they both smiled at each other, lost in each other's eyes. There are still a lot of unresolved questions in Beca's head, but for now this would to do.

-Pandas-

After that emotional moment, Chloe became very tired. Both of them laid on the couch with the blanket draped over them again. Beca got pillows from the room and put them on the coffee table so that they could put their feet up on it. Chloe's head was on Beca's shoulder and Beca's head on hers. They were holding each others hands and Beca was tracing some doodles on Chloe's palm. Chloe fell asleep like that and Beca followed soon after. Both feeling each other's warmth, afraid if the other moved that they would lose this comfort.

Beca heard her phone ring but couldn't bring herself to care. She was almost positive that that was Aubrey. Since her phone was on the coffee table, she got it with her feet and saw that it was indeed Aubrey.

"Hello?" Beca said in a very sleepy voice.

"Beca? You sound like a little hoarse. You okay?" Was Aubrey's reply.

"Yea I'm just sleeping."

"Oh sorry to wake you up, but I'm on the way to Chloe's apartment and was wondering what would you guys like for dinner?"

"Anything's fine for me. But Chloe has to eat healthy, courtesy of nurse Jane."

"Ah that's understandable. What do you say about salad then?" Aubrey asked.

"Sure that works." Beca answered.

"Okay then. See you soon Becs. Bye,"

"Bye."

Beca hung up the phone and sighed. Once Aubrey was here, she was going to her house to pack some things. Her equipment is most important, then some of her clothes and some other stuff that she thinks she might need.

Beca didn't feel comfortable on leaving Chloe on her own. Of course there's Aubrey but she still doesn't feel safe about it. Beca sighed and squeezed Chloe's hand. To her surprise she squeezed back.

"You awake Chlo?" Beca asked.

"Hmm... Yea, was that Bree on the phone?"

"Yeap. Listen, I'm going to my house to get some stuff. You can be with Bree for a while right?"

"Of course, it's nice to see a different face than yours Mitchell. I'm getting bored of yours." Chloe joked.

"Haha." Beca deadpanned. They sat there watching a movie and joking around with each other.

"But honestly those two "friends" can't be just friends. I can feel the sexual tension all the way from here." Beca said.

"No I totally root for the girl to end up with the guy. They're really cute together! He even sang for her in the car," Chloe countered.

"No! But look! Their faces were like inches away, one little push and they could kiss! And that scene in the shower, if you don't call that gay, I don't even know what is anymore. Ohh wait. The other girl is making out with the fuckboy again."

"It's only early on in the movie Becs, let's just see what happens,"

"We know what's gonna happen. That girl is gonna end up doing stupid shit, the boy saves her and they win the championship." Beca explained like a know-it-all.

"Spoiler alert much. What if the girl and the other girl does end up together?"

"Wanna bet?" Beca challenged. "No..." Chloe backed out and Beca sat back with a smirk on her face.

It was towards the end of the movie when Aubrey came to Chloe's apartment. Both of them greeted her, and Aubrey sat until the end of the movie before setting the table to eat.

"See! They win and the girl ends up with the guy." Beca sighed. "And I really liked the other girl too. Maybe her and the captain are dating," Beca said going to the dining table with Chloe in tow.

"Live in your imagination Beca," Aubrey said.

"Gladly." Beca replied.

They ate and got into a normal conversation like yesterday. Aubrey explained what happened in the firm, Chloe updated on her job and Beca saying she needed to do stuff in the studio. After they ate, Aubrey did the dishes and Beca went to the living room with Chloe.

"I'll be back later, okay Chlo?" Beca asked.

"Sure, I'll be waiting." Chloe smiled. "It won't take me long, don't worry." Beca grabbed Chloe's hand and pressed it.

"Aubrey! Take care of Chloe yeah?" Beca called to the kitchen.

"Yeah!" Was Aubrey's reply. "Thank you!" Beca yelled again. Then her attention was back to Chloe, "I'll see you soon, bye Chlo."

"Bye Becs," And with a final squeeze of the hand, Beca left the apartment. Leaving Chloe in the hands of Aubrey.

-Pandas-

Beca arrived at her house and turned on the light. She got a suitcase out of her closet and began throwing in clothes. She also packed some other stuff like her toothbrush and her favorite pillow. Yes, Beca Mitchell has a favorite pillow. Then she got her bag for her equipment and only carried the lightweight and important stuff. She grabbed her laptop last and put it away.

After Beca put her stuff in the car, she then cleaned her house. She made her bed, dusted things off and threw out leftovers from the fridge knowing she's not going to be back for a while. She looked at everything she'd done and was satisfied. She then locked the door and got in her car. After that she gripped her steering wheel and let out a breath.

"That took way too fast than I intended it to be." Beca was contemplating now on whether she should grab a can of beer, spotting one in her fridge earlier. It'd been awhile since Beca got drunk and she felt like she needed to have one at this moment. She almost got out of the car, but then she remembered Chloe.

If she got drunk she wouldn't be able to drive. And if she can't drive then she won't be able to see Chloe. The DJ gave up and drove away from her house. Chloe comes first of everything. Even her own needs.

-Pandas-

Meanwhile in Chloe's apartment, Chloe was blankly staring at the tv while Aubrey was speaking to her. She wasn't paying that much attention to her and knew that was wrong. It wasn't the same with Aubrey as did with Beca, she would leave a little space between her and Aubrey when they sat in the same couch together. Aubrey didn't notice that and continued as if everything was normal.

"... Then he was all up in my face about it. I just don't like him, you know?" Aubrey finished whatever she was saying, Chloe merely hummed and blinked. Aubrey sighed and said, "You're not even listening Chlo. It's like you're not even here..."

Chloe was quiet for a while, not having a response for Aubrey. She's tired of saying I'm sorry because what good was it for. In the back of her head there was still the conscious part that was telling her that you're ignoring your best friend, but Chloe basically shut that part out. She couldn't think about anything right now, she can't even bring herself to say anything. She knows that Aubrey is trying to help her, but why did Aubrey's version of help is so different from Beca's. Chloe is in the process of getting over Beca, so she should at least treat them both the same way right? But with Beca everything just flows so easily, there's no one leading the conversation. Just 2 people talking with each other, but with Aubrey it's her taking control. She's the one telling stories and she has this feeling that she needs to get permission from her to speak. That's how Chloe feels anyway.

"Bree. I'm sorry." That was all Chloe said. And Aubrey's face turned into a look of pity.

"It's fine Chloe. It's fine..." Aubrey now fixed her stare to the tv too. And at this point Aubrey knew what's happening. She just hopes that Beca comes back fast.

Chloe's eyes are getting heavier and heavier as she watched the show. Aubrey isn't attempting to make another conversation and she's already seen this episode of Dance Moms, twice. But she promised Beca she would wait, so she's trying her best not to fall asleep. Aubrey noticed Chloe's fighting off sleep and wanted to help her.

"Do you want to go to bed Chlo?" Aubrey asked.

"No, it's fine. I want to wait for Beca," Chloe replied.

"Is something going on with you two?" Aubrey asked shyly knowing that it's a sore subject.

"No."

"Do you want to talk about it? I mean I know you have feelings for her so why don't you just make a move Chlo? You've been speaking to me for months about how you're finally going to confess,"

"It's not that easy this time Bree! Honestly, if it weren't for this stupid cancer, I think we would've gone out already." Chloe exclaimed.

"Chlo. Take my advice. Even if you have cancer, doesn't mean it should keep you from doing stuff you want to do." Aubrey gave a comforting hand to Chloe and Chloe just nodded.

It was about 11pm when the door finally opened revealing a tired Beca, a suitcase that's almost the size of her and 3 hand carry bags for equipment. Aubrey grabbed for the suitcase and put it in Chloe's room. Chloe just got up and moved to the brunette.

"Welcome back," Chloe said.

"Happy to be back," Beca winked.

Aubrey saw this exchange and smirked. In her head she thought 'Like they aren't dating already.' She shook her head and decided it was time to head out, knowing Chloe needs to sleep.

"Okay guys I'm going to go home now. Chlo, I'll pick you up tomorrow to take you to school." Aubrey said.

"Okay," Chloe replied and waved. Beca said bye too and with that Aubrey left.

-Pandas-

After Beca took a bath and Chloe changed into her pajamas - with Beca's help - they both got into bed. Neither of them wanted to be far apart like yesterday so Chloe immediately hugged Beca and Beca hugged her back. They were holding each other's hands and Beca squeezed it as did Chloe. It became a thing for them now, and Beca was happy for that.

"Good night Chlo."

"Good night Beca."

Beca briefly let go of Chloe's hand to turn off her bedside lamp, then she took it again without hesitation.

"Mmm Beca?"

"Yea Chlo?"

"Will you miss me when I'm gone?" Chloe asked as she slightly sung.

Beca looked at her in shock but Chloe only stared back with a look of 'It's okay.' Beca's voice cracks as she replied to her, "Yes. Yes I will." Suddenly Beca felt the need to cry again but took a deep breath and let go of Chloe for a while. She put a hand to wipe away some tears and turned her back against Chloe.

Chloe was upset at loss of contact but she knew Beca needed space at the moment, so she turned the other way too. Chloe heard Beca's breathing even out and she thinks Beca's fallen asleep.

"I love you Beca." Chloe whispered. Then Chloe let sleep take hold of her, unaware that the brunette was still very much awake.

* * *

A/N: Phew! Quite the chapter ey? I know I said this would go up at Sunday or Monday but I felt really bad for the last chapter that I wanted this to get done sooner. Next chapter would be on Sunday or Monday. I hoped that you liked that I made it extra long to compensate for last chapter. I still don't know if Chloe'll die or live yet, I'll decide later. But one thing's for sure, Bechloe's happening really soon!

PS: Can anyone guess what movie they watched and what scene? ;)

 _jalex1: Glad to hear you're enjoying it! :)_

 _RicchanxMio: Yeap I totally agree. Maybe I'll let Chloe live? Whooo knows? ;)_

 _acatrash: Aww thank youu! My sole purpose is to make people cry in this fic XD I'm glad you like the fluff. :))_

 _Kurochin: Haha yea praise the cousins for not letting me think dark. XD Hehe thank you! :)_

 _EmoPenguino182: Yesss it is! ;D_


	7. What's happening to me?

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

A/N: Also I know next to nothing about Cancer, I'm basing this off of experience with a family member and wikipedia, so if something's wrong. _Please don't hesitate to tell me._

* * *

 **HOPING FOR TOMORROW**

* * *

Chapter 7: What's happening to me?

 _The next day Beca woke up at 6:30am. She didn't sleep well last night, every time Chloe got close to her, Beca would gently move her away or scooted away from her. She was afraid, afraid of her own emotions. Chloe had said the L word to Beca without hesitation. She probably thought Beca was asleep. Did Chloe say this to her every night? Beca wouldn't know, but somehow every part of her body wants to say it back._

* * *

Beca left Chloe's house at 7:30. She sent Chloe a text that she was going to be back to her apartment late. She pulled up to her building and went to the 20th floor where her studio was. She came in and was greeted by Cynthia-Rose.

"Heyy little one! Welcome back," CR gave her a side hug which Beca was reluctant to return.

"Great to be back." Beca replied. Then they got to work, CR was telling her all the stuff she had missed and Beca was listening. Beca soon got lost in her music, bopping her head to the music blasting through her headphones. Her hand moves gracefully between each dial and the other on the trackpad of her huge Mac computer. Her foot is tapping the floor with the rhythm and she hums the tune softly.

Although Beca doesn't like saying it, she is pretty well known - around teens - in the public. Sure she's not as famous as other celebrities but she's appeared in a handful of teen magazines and she swears she saw paps when she was grocery shopping last month - she found that picture later, of her in the vegetables section yawning.

Beca felt a light tap on her shoulder and turned around to face CR with her phone, she put out her earphones and CR said, "Dude you're phone's been ringing for the past minute,"

"Oh thanks," Beca replied taking the phone and answering it. Knowing very well who it is by the Titanium ringtone.

"Hello? Chloe?" Beca greeted.

"Hey Becs! I'm in the cafe near your office, want to have lunch?" Chloe asked.

"Umm, I have a lot of things to do Chlo. Maybe not today. Are you with Aubrey?"

"Oh okay-" Beca hates hearing Chloe's voice like that, "- No I'm not with Bree, I'm alone,"

"Okay. Take care of yourself please Chlo. I don't want you to faint in public or something," Beca advised.

"Don't worry, I'm feeling much better today!" Chloe exclaimed excitedly. And Beca smiled because hearing Chloe's voice almost back to normal is a good thing. Maybe she was just tired the last few days.

"That's good Chlo! Oh, by the way, I'm getting dinner later with CR and Stacie. Want to come?" Beca invited remembering CR said something about dinner plans.

"Oh umm... I think I already have plans with Bree..." Chloe lied.

"We can invite her. Come on Chlo. It'll be fun!"

"No it's fine, you go ahead."

"Al-alright." Beca said sounding disappointed. "I'll see you tonight then Chlo. Bye."

"Yea, bye."

Chloe hung up first and Beca put her phone down beside her computer. CR stared at her from a distance with a confused look,

"What?" Beca asked.

"Why were you worried Chloe's going to faint? And that she was feeling better? Better of what? Was she sick?" CR questioned.

Beca's head was now reeling. 'Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What should I do?' Beca thought. She didn't want to lie, but she didn't want to break Chloe's trust either. So she just said the truth, slightly bending it a little.

"Yea she's sick but she's feeling a lot better now. That's the reason I've been MIA, I was taking care of her." Beca explained and hoped that CR won't ask what sickness it was.

"Ohh I see," CR replied and Beca was so relieved that she didn't ask anymore questions. CR then snickered and shook her head, "When are you and the ginger finally going to admit your feelings to each other, B?"

Beca's now sweating because she has no answer to that. Now she was reminded of last night, Chloe had just confessed her love to Beca. Not like, but LOVE. Beca can't deny that she doesn't love her back but Chloe has cancer for aca-gods sake. What if Chloe was saying that in a platonic way. What if Chloe was sleep talking and she was actually saying, "I love food Beca," and it came out as 'you'. Food and You rhyme right? She can't take the chance that Chloe might not like her back the way she does. She cares for the redhead too much to do that.

Beca remembered that CR is still awaiting an answer so Beca just put on her signature scowl and muttered, "Shut up..." That gained a laugh from CR and Beca put back in her headphones. But now, all she could think about is Chloe.

-Pandas-

Meanwhile in the city, Chloe was ordering lunch. She sat in the cafe alone and thought about what she should do before she would go to school. Aubrey and her decided yesterday that they would take her stuff after school so that the students won't see her.

Chloe was being very strong, she had showed almost no emotion to Beca and Aubrey when she told them she took leave. But deep inside Chloe was breaking. She had taught those kids for a year and a half, it was her own homeroom class. When she applied last year they treated her with upmost respect and together they've made wonderful memories, so Chloe immediately requested their class this year again. She would miss everybody in that class. But she would come back soon right? She had to have some hope left in her that maybe next year, she would come into her classroom and see those bright smiling faces again. She loved all of them. Every single one.

Without noticing, Chloe was already in the verge of crying. She wiped away the tears and exited the cafe - food only half finished. She decided that she would go grocery shopping because she has nothing at home, also because she needs to start eating healthier.

Before she knew it, it was already almost 3pm. Aubrey had promised her to take her to school at 4pm. So she had an hour to get home and change. The traffic in LA wasn't helping her situation, she got home around 4:20 and took a quick shower. After she was done, she heard her phone ring. She saw that it was Aubrey and answered it,

"Hello Bree?"

"Hey Chlo… I uhh… I'm still stuck at work. Apparently one of my clients is a not responding well and I might lose this case. I umm… Could pick you up tomorrow if you'd like?" Aubrey explained nervously. Sure Chloe could go herself, the problem wasn't about driving. It was about who's going to keep her calm.

"No no it's fine. I can go alone." Chloe said without emotion.

"Are you sure? I'm really sorry Chloe. Why don't you ask Beca if she could take you?" Aubrey asked.

"It's fine Bree, I can go alone," Chloe responded.

"I am so sorry Chloe." Aubrey said sounding sad. "Oh shit I have to go, are you sure you'll be okay?"

"Of course! Good luck with your case!" Chloe said sounding a little too optimistic. Inside she was feeling betrayed. First Beca, now Aubrey? What has she done to the world to deserve this.

"Bye Chlo. I'm sorry,"

"It's okay, bye." Chloe then hung up the phone and sighed. She figured she should probably get going, the kids are all going to be out of school now anyway.

When Chloe reached the school a feeling of nostalgia overthrew her. She was only going to take leave for a while right? She would come back here soon right? Chloe wouldn't allow herself to cry in the school. It'll be too much. She walked in, smiling a little seeing the security guard who she's grown accustomed to see 5 days a week. The school halls were mostly empty, and she looked around.

Chloe wouldn't ever admit it, but she was afraid that this was the last time she would ever see this school. She looked to the trophy cabinet and a smile formed on her face, she'd been on almost every one of those tournaments and was the teacher who looked like a proud parent when one of her students won. She continued walking, admiring the artwork that was up on the walls. She reached her classroom, and stopped by the door. She saw the sign taped to the door, Class 9G - Music Room. Aside from her homeroom kids, she also taught music to other kids too. She became close with all of her students but there was a strong bond between her and the students from her homeroom.

Chloe opened the door and saw her classroom. It was exactly how she left it in March. Chloe's classroom was slightly bigger than other classes. It was one where the students sat on the carpeted floor instead of tables and desks. There were several musical instruments in the room, including the drum on the back of the class, the piano on the opposite side, the three different style of keyboards around the class - which she guessed has been moved by the students today - two acoustic guitars near her desk and an electric one equipped with an amp. When she designed this classroom two years ago, she wanted it to be a place of comfort. A place where you can relax and forget about school for a little while. Students come here often at lunch breaks or after school to interact with her, lay around or just to play around with the instruments.

She unboxed the box she brought to bring her stuff in and started to put things into it neatly. She cleared out all the things on her desk like a candid picture of her and Beca at Copenhagen - that Stacie took, and a picture of her with Aubrey that she had since Aubrey moved away from BU. She also grabbed a blue notebook from one of the drawers, she opened it and smiled softly. It was filled with drawings of her and her students, notes from her students, pictures and other fun things. She compiled this after a month when she first taught, and now the pages were nearly finishing. A single tear fell when she looked through most of them. She now wished she'd at least taught one more class with her students, now they won't be seeing her again anytime soon. Chloe just hopes it's not never.

"Ms- Ms. Beale?" A voice came from the door. Chloe looked up and there was one of her students staring at her wide eyed. She knew this student very well, most of the drawings from the notebook came from her. Her words suddenly got stuck in her throat, leaving her incapable of saying anything. Without a warning the student came full force at her and hugged her like she was her lifeline.

"Don't leave Ms. Beale, please." The student said, voice sounding like she was about to cry.

"Hannah… I-I assume you know what's happening?" Chloe asked hugging Hannah back, if not tighter.

"Yes. I'm really sorry it happened to you Ms. Beale. You're way too good for the world to deserve this," Hannah pulled away and looked to Chloe's eyes.

"We're going to miss you. So much." Hannah's eyes are filled with tears waiting to fall now, and the way the sun comes in through the window shining at them, makes Chloe feel like her heart just dropped and shatter. She swore she could hear it breaking too.

"I'm so sorry Hannah. I really am." Chloe smiled her own eyes swelling.

"Follow me." Hannah demanded softly and grabbed her hand. She led her out of the classroom and walked to the library. Chloe, not wanting to sound like she's going to cry, followed her silently.

Hannah opened the library doors and Chloe was met with 20 other pairs of eyes staring at her. Before she could do anything, all of them kind of piled up on to Chloe hugging her. She could make out some of the things her students were saying,

"Ms. Beale don't leave!" "Ms. Beale, please stay!" "Ms. Beale don't go." "I'm going to miss you so much,"

Then all of the sudden it all became too much for Chloe. She promised herself not to cry, but how could she not when 21 students are all hugging her in some way begging her to stay. She wants to stay. She _needs_ to. But this world is a bitch and it took away Chloe's pride and joy, slowly her life too.

"I'm, I'm going to miss you guys too." Chloe choked out in between sobs. The boys kindly gave her some distance now, but the girls continued to comfort her. Most of them were crying now too. She wore a ¾ sleeved shirt, so her bruises were slowly being shown.

She spent the next hour spending time with her beloved students. There was one kid though that was being particularly quiet. Connor. He was always the class clown, enlightening Chloe's day every day. Now he just sat back and refused to even look at Chloe. When one of her students told her that he needs to get back, Chloe soon realized that their time was over. Chloe had hoped it had last longer than it did but unfortunately it felt like only a second.

Slowly almost everyone was gone, leaving 4 of her favourite students in the library. Chloe liked to think she doesn't have favourites but everyone knew that Hannah (the artistic one), Eddie (the jock), Jade (the one with 'I don't give a fuck' attitude) and Connor (the friendly, humorous one) were hers. They were best friends since forever, and Chloe knew that they weren't here for no reason.

"Ms. Beale… Before you go, we want to sing something for you." Jade spoke. "Is that okay?"

"That'd be amazing." Chloe replied. They all went to her classroom again, Chloe occasionally stealing glances at Connor who haven't spoken a single word to her. When they reached class, they prepared all the necessary things and Chloe sat on her desk. For probably the last time.

"Umm… This song is… Our way of saying thanks for the last two years, and that we're going to miss you." Hannah said holding the mic.

"Do you remember the first song that you told us to perform?" Eddie asked. Chloe tried to remember but couldn't, so she shook her head.

"Well umm… It was the chorus of Down by Jason Walker. You told us we had a lot of potential when we played that together. So we've perfected it. I hope you like it Ms. Beale." Jade said.

Chloe finally remembers that day. She thought they were the best out of the other 5 groups. She gave them a really good grade and great feedback. She thinks that that was the song that brought them together in the first place because all of them were practicing the hell out of it. They spent multiple lunches and afterschool time in her room, just playing. That time Jade kept messing up her cues and got really frustrated, Chloe had to calm her down multiple times. Eddie sometimes couldn't play the chords and it would mess them up, Chloe would tell him to practice more or change it to an easier chord. Hannah wasn't confident about her singing so she either sang to high or inaudible, Chloe assured her it was going to be okay. Connor though, Chloe had no problem with. He sang beautifully with confidence and sometimes covering Hannah's mistakes. If only he would acknowledge her now.

The four students started playing and Chloe instantly felt emotional.

 _[Connor]_

 _I don't know where I'm at_

 _I'm standing at the back_

 _And I'm tired of waiting_

 _Waiting here in line,_

 _Hoping that I'll find_

 _What I've been chasing_

Chloe looked at Connor and he was singing with his eyes closed. It's heartbreaking for Chloe to see him like this.

 _[Connor and Hannah]_

 _I shot for the sky_

 _I'm stuck on the ground_

 _So why do I try,_

 _I know I'm gonna fall down_

 _I thought I could fly,_

 _So why did I drown?_

 _Never know why_

 _It's coming down, down, down_

 _[Hannah]_

 _Not ready to let go_

 _'Cause then I'd never know_

 _What I could be missing_

 _But I'm missing way too much_

 _So when do I give up_

 _What I've been wishing for_

 _[Connor and Hannah]_

 _I shot for the sky_

 _I'm stuck on the ground_

 _So why do I try,_

 _I know I'm gonna fall down_

 _I thought I could fly,_

 _So why did I drown?_

 _Never know why_

 _It's coming down, down, down_

 _Oh I am going down, down, down_

 _Can't find another way around_

 _And I don't want to hear the sound,_

 _Of losing what I never found_

 _[Connor]_

 _I shot for the sky_

 _I'm stuck on the ground_

 _So why do I try,_

Chloe could hear Connor's voice cracking, he was crying.

 _[Both]_

 _I know I'm gonna fall down_

 _I thought I could fly,_

 _So why did I drown?_

 _Never know why_

 _It's coming down, down, down_

 _I shot for the sky_

 _I'm stuck on the ground_

 _So why do I try,_

 _I know I'm gonna fall down_

 _I thought I could fly,_

 _So why did I drown?_

 _Oh, it's coming down, down, down_

Once the last piano key echoed through the room, Chloe immediately got up and hugged Hannah and Connor, beckoning Jade and Eddie to come too. Connor was now sobbing uncontrollably, and all Chloe could do was comfort him.

"I'm- I'm going to miss you so much Ms. Beale. Please don't ever forget us." Connor cried.

"No no no, of course I'm never going to forget about you guys. Look at me Connor," Chloe said pulling him away slightly. "Regardless of where I will be in these next months or maybe even years if I'm lucky, I will always remember about you," Chloe looked up, "All of you."

"You guys are going to do so many great things in your life. It's sad that I can only get to be a part of some of it. I'm proud of you guys. I really am."

"We love you Ms. Beale. Please don't die." Connor whispered. And Hannah being beside him, elbowed him hard on his side. He didn't care though, it was there. Everyone in the room knew what her biggest fate is going to be.

"Just so you guys know, I'll stay alive for you. I'll fight this just so I can see your smiling faces again. I- I love you guys too." Chloe said.

"We don't want to go home. We don't want this to be the last time we're going to see you." Jade spoke.

"And it won't be. I promise guys." Chloe promised, though she still saw sadness in their eyes. "Hey, when have I ever broken a promise?"

"Not once," Hannah smiled.

"Exactly. So you guys go home okay? I'll see you soon." Chloe said pulling away from their hugs. She remembered she still has to pack her things. All of them nodded and got their bags. Each gave Chloe one last hug and Chloe accompanied them until the hallway ended.

"Bye Ms. Beale." Eddie waved and smiled sadly. He left first with his skateboard. Then Jade left with her bike saying bye to her too.

Hannah reluctantly waved her final goodbye, "This is for you Ms. Beale. Consider it a 'see you soon' drawing."

Chloe accepted the rolled up piece of A2 canvas, reminding to look at it later. She hugged Hannah and then she left too. Leaving Connor alone with her.

"Ms. Beale-"

"Connor-" Both of them said at the same time.

"You can go first," Chloe said.

"I really am going to miss you Ms. Beale. You're an awesome teacher. I hope you survive _this_." He smiled shakily.

"Thanks Connor. I'm going to miss you too." Chloe hugged him once again and he sighed to her embrace.

"Thanks for the best 2 years of classes I've ever had Ms. Beale."

"You're welcome," Chloe said letting him go, "Now go do your algebra homework! I know you have some." Chloe smiled shooing him away and Connor giggled. It was a weak giggle, but Chloe was satisfied nonetheless. With one last glance and a wave, he was gone.

Chloe's smile turned into a frown as she closed her left fist tightly, her right holding the painting that Hannah made. All of the memories in Chloe's mind about the school seemed to flash right before her eyes. All the competitions, class parties, music events, classes; she would cherish those moments forever.

All of the sudden she feels light headed. She walked slowly back to her classroom and resumed packing her things. Once she was done, she went to the teacher's lounge to collect her stuff from there too. No one was there as it was nearing 6pm already. She saw all the notecards from both teachers and students left on her desk; Chloe felt like she's going to cry again. But doesn't. SHe quickly packed everything and left.

She walked back to her car, head bowed down. The security guard was still there but was now taking a nap. She put all the things in the passenger seat and started the engine. She drove away with a sick feeling in her stomach that this was the last time she would be here.

-Pandas-

Beca, CR and Stacie decided that they were going to a bar/restaurant type place. Beca knew she shouldn't drink but Stacie insisted. Their conversation went a little like this,

" _I'm not going to drink Stace,"_

" _Why? Don't tell me Beca Mitchell is backing out on getting drunk! Who are you?!" Stacie mocked._

" _Chloe's sick and I need to take care of her,"_

" _Ohhh. So what you're telling me isss… You're whipped. You're not even in a relationship with her… Yet. And you're already whipped out of your mind,"_

" _I'm not "whipped"." Beca exclaimed. "Fine! I'll drink!"_

" _Uh huh." Stacie laughed._

That's how Beca found herself on her 3rd glass of beer. In a bar that she never knew existed. Dancing with Stacie and CR on the dance floor. The DJ even played some of her songs and mixes - when she introduced herself, he threw a fit that she was there. Needless to say, Beca was having fun.

It was about the 12am mark that she decided to check her phone. There were 2 missed calls from Chloe at 7pm and at 9pm. Beca decided that she would go home, she looked around for Stacie and CR but they were already far too drunk to notice she was gone - not like she was far behind - but she could still pass a sobriety test. Beca was grateful that CR told them to get a cab, she could always get her car from the studio tomorrow. So she hailed a cab and told the driver Chloe's address. She figured that the redhead was already asleep, so she can just pass out on the couch.

It's not that Beca's avoiding Chloe. She just doesn't know how to deal with her feelings right now. Chloe just indirectly told her she loves her. Yes, Beca feels the same way but she doesn't want to be the type of person that takes advantage of someone. Chloe has about 3 months left if the treatment doesn't work, so maybe her mind is all over the place.

Beca sighed and thought that it was far too late in the night to think about this.

She quietly slipped into the apartment and made almost no noise. But of course Chloe left her box full of things on the floor for Beca to accidentally step on. Hitting the box didn't hurt, hitting the floor because she lost balance hurt.

"Fuck!" Beca shrieked when her elbow hit the floor, forgetting all about being quiet. "Ow ow ow ow." She stood up and rubbed her elbow.

Chloe heard this and went outside. She turned on the lights to a hurt Beca in the middle of the living room.

"Beca? What happened?" Chloe said sleepily rubbing her eyes. Beca looked up at her and her breath hitched. Since when did Chloe look so cute in pajamas? It must be all the alcohol in her.

"I fell down. Don't worry, just uh go back to sleep." Beca said still applying pressure to her elbow. She had a high pain tolerance, but that fucking hurt.

"What's that smell? Is that alcohol? Beca. Are you drunk?" Chloe asked.

"I'm not that drunk, I only had like 5-6 beers." Beca said.

"So you declined my lunch offer. Ignored my calls. Went drinking. Came back at 1am. Woke me up by falling. And now you're telling me to go back to sleep just so you can leave early tomorrow again? Have I done something wrong Beca?"

"No! No, nothing's wrong Chlo. I just wanted to go out with my friends. Is that a _problem_ to _you_?" Beca countered.

"No! But that doesn't mean you should avoid me like I have the plague or something. Cancer isn't catchable Beca."

"I'm not avoiding you! Who said I am?" Beca was now raising her voice a little. In the back of her head she knew she shouldn't be fighting with Chloe, but her mind's a bit foggy right now.

"Damn it Beca! Just forget about it! Okay? Go change or whatever. I'm going back to sleep."

"Fine." Beca didn't protest.

"Fine." Chloe returned to her room and slammed the door.

Beca changed in the spare bathroom, thankful that her suitcase wasn't inside Chloe's room. She took out her favourite pillow and a hoodie, knowing it will get cold at night - as all the blankets were in Chloe's room. Beca really fucked up now. She didn't even know why she was angry. She wasn't angry at all, she was just annoyed. Chloe toyed with her feelings without realizing.

For some reason Beca can't sleep. Maybe it was because a certain redhead wasn't beside her. Last night she couldn't sleep either without the redhead close to her side. Damn it Beale. And it wasn't long until Beca heard Chloe's door unlock.

"Beca?" Chloe called. Beca was contemplating whether or not she should answer. Beca sighed and did so anyways,

"Yea?" Beca said sounding a little bit too annoyed. She honestly can't help it.

"I'm sorry."

"I know. I just… I don't get you sometimes. Yesterday you wanted me to give you space to do things yourself, now you want me to be there with you 24/7? Do you know how fucking confusing that is?" Beca huffed out sitting up.

"I'm sorry Beca,"

"Yea well sorry's a bit overrated now. If I had a dollar every time we've said sorry to each other, I could buy an island." Beca muttered looking away from Chloe.

"What else do you want me to say?" Chloe raised her voice again.

"For fuck's sake Chloe!" Beca stood up massaging her forehead. "I don't want you to say anything! I want you to help me too. I'm here for you Chloe. But I can't do anything unless you let me help you! You want me to give you space? That's fine. You want me to skip work for you everyday? I'm fine with that too. What I don't want is for you to push me around like I'm some kind of toy, and making me take the blame for something I didn't do!" Beca looked at Chloe with eyes that made Chloe shiver.

"I didn't… I didn't blame you for anything Beca."

"You think you didn't! But you make me feel bad for nothing! I was trying to help you yesterday. But you pushed me away! Now when I'm giving you what you want, you're turning this on me again! I'm sorry if I seem selfish, but I tolerated enough of this Chloe! You're sick. I get it. That doesn't mean you don't have a heart. Honestly, where's the Chloe I know and love? The optimistic one, the one who barged into my shower all those years ago. Where is _she_? 'Cause I would like her back please."

"Beca. I'm just sorry okay? I don't want to fight anymore. Please…" Beca saw Chloe now. She was crying, _yet again._ Her body was shuddering and she was hugging herself. Beca swallowed thickly, _of course_ Chloe would make Beca seem like the bad guy again.

"Fine. It's alright okay? It's fine." Beca put her hands up and sat back on the couch with her head in her hands. She felt the couch drop next to her and figured Chloe sat down.

"It's alright." Beca said through unshed tears. Why is she even crying? First she was annoyed, then angry, and now she's sad because Chloe's sad. Curse her. It's so unnatural for Beca to be feeling all these emotions.

"You know Aubrey didn't take me to the school today." Chloe said.

"You went alone?" Beca asked almost asking why she didn't call her. She knew why.

"Yea. My kids were all there to say goodbye to me. And you know Hannah, Connor, Eddie and Jade sang me a song."

"How very nice of them." Beca said having met them before because Chloe begged her to come to her music events.

"They sang the first song I told them to sing a few years back."

"Oh. Okay."

"Everyone cried. It was like a scene from a movie." Chloe laughed bitterly as she moved a strand of hair away from her face.

"And the box you tripped on? It's filled with notes and drawings. I hung one up actually, in my room. Want to see it?" Chloe asked.

"Sure." The both of them then stood up and walked to her room.

"Wow." Was all Beca said when she saw the drawing. "Who did this? Hannah?" Beca asked.

"Yea. Apparently she wanted to give it at the end of the school year, but when she heard about my condition, she worked her ass off to get it finished."

The water painting was a cartoon version of all of her homeroom students and Chloe. All of them were sitting on a music note with a background of the galaxy. Chloe was in the center with all of her students gathered around her. Beside each student was a signature with their name in white pen.

"That kid is talented." Beca praised.

"I know right."

It was silent again, neither wanting to see each other. Beca sighed and ran her hand through her hair.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you Chlo. Okay? I-I-I lo- care about you. A lot." Beca stammered.

"Thanks Becs," Chloe smiled. "Sleep with me?"

"You don't even need to ask." Beca grinned literally jumping into the bed. Chloe giggled at her antics and laid down beside her. The first thing Beca did of course is take Chloe's hands. Chloe didn't mind and scooted closer to Beca. Both of them fell asleep in each other's arms, and Beca was content. For now at least.

* * *

A/N: Arghh. I didn't really like how this chapter ended, buttt I stuck with it anyway... Oh! You know guys, I have a funny story! I have never had an argument with my best friend except once, so I asked her for advice on how to write this chapter. I told her to remember the day we fought and she didn't remember anything from it XD I had to explain what we did, and she was like "THAT HAPPENED?! WHEN?!" Sigh, she's an idiot. Anyways, the song they sang was Down by Jason Walker ft. Molly Reed. Connor sang Jason and Hannah sang Molly. Also, next chapter will be focusing more on Chloe's cancer (I felt like I'm straying away from it) So yea. Thanks for reading guys! You people are awesome ;)

And you know the drill. Thoughts? Feelings? Constructive criticism? Wanna tell me a funny story of you and your best friend? Leave all of them in the review thing below. Or in my tumblr, it's the same thing as my username.

 _jalex1: Thank you! :)_

 _Kurochin: Thank you for imagining dancing pandas. For that I love you already. (Also your blog is cool) XD *heart emoji*_

 _MissCuddless: You had to read it 12 timess!? :O And thank you! :)_

 _KC: Yep it was that scene XD Thank youu! :)_


	8. Uncovered Feelings

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

A/N: Also I know next to nothing about Cancer, I'm basing this off of experience with a family member and wikipedia, so if something's wrong. _Please don't hesitate to tell me._

* * *

 **HOPING FOR TOMORROW**

* * *

Chapter 8: Uncovered Feelings

 _The next few days went by in a blur. It's fallen into a constant rhythm. Beca would go to her studio and return at the evening to have dinner with Chloe. Chloe would do whatever she could to keep herself entertained. Both were aware that whatever happened would still need to be addressed. But were too tired to cause a conflict. Saturday morning came by and it was time for Chloe to go to the hospital again._

* * *

Beca woke Chloe up at 8am to get her ready for her appointment. Both of them were ready in about an hour, catching a bite to eat first too. Chloe felt normal today, just like any other day this week. She wasn't ready to feel like shit again, she remembered the ache in her body after her last appointment. It sent shivers through her spine. Beca noticed this and smiled a comforting smile. Chloe got out of her apartment and raised an eyebrow when Beca followed her.

"What are you doing?" Chloe asked.

"I'm driving you to the hospital," Beca answered.

Chloe put on a confused look, "It's okay Beca, I can drive myself. They promised no drugs that will trigger allergy, so it should be fine."

Beca really didn't want to argue with Chloe, "Just let me drive you please."

"I'm not incapable of driving mys-"

"And I'm not saying you are! _God_ Chloe, just let me do it. Please."

Chloe was startled by Beca's words, "Okay," She said. Beca nods and lead the way to the elevator. Chloe swears the tension is so thick, she could feel herself suffocating. When they reached Beca's car, Beca opened the passenger seat for her and once Chloe was settled she closed the door and made her way towards the other side.

Beca looked annoyed, her eyebrows were furrowed, mouth pursed and she did everything a little bit too harshly - like when she slammed her car door instead of closing it normally. Chloe noticed she was gripping the steering wheel until her veins are popping out, her jaws were clenched and it looked like she was trying so hard not to tremble.

"Hey. It's alright, I said you can take me…" Chloe mumbled. Beca nods not looking at her. The drive was silent, Chloe did not expect her morning to start out this way.

Chloe sat on her hands to hide her shaking hands. The silence is unbearable, she wanted to turn on the radio but was afraid that it was going to get another reaction from Beca. She was waiting for the apology, the one where Beca would admit she's wrong. Then Chloe would forgive her and all would be good again. But it doesn't come.

Chloe looked at Beca again, she was physically calmer than before. But the hint of annoyance was still there. And Chloe gets it. She always does. Chloe was always open about her problems to Beca, she didn't hesitate to tell her every worry she has. But since cancer came into her life, she has been a little closed off. And Beca noticed this change, she was still learning to cope with it.

Beca of all people should know what Chloe's dealing through. Especially since Chloe's the one who broke off all her walls in Barden. Maybe Beca's just afraid of this side of her, the side that reminded too much of her past. The closed off and shutting people out type.

And Chloe knows it's hard. It's hard for Beca to even talk to Chloe now without Chloe having to restrain herself from saying too much. And Chloe knows Beca's _struggling._ Beca didn't ever have to give Chloe space from anything before, and Chloe doesn't even know if she wants this space. She just wants someone to go through _her_ walls, more importantly that someone being Beca.

Chloe pushed away these thoughts when the hospital came into view. She looked at Beca and now she was showing no emotion. Chloe knew what that meant, it meant Beca's slowly shutting off too. Beca parked at the hospital parking lot and got off to open Chloe's car door. Beca walked her to where she decided she would stop.

"I'll pick you up at-" Beca trailed off for a moment to count the hours with her fingers, "Two? Yea two."

Chloe nodded and smiled. "I'll see you at two." This time Chloe took Beca's hand and squeezed it, Beca smiled softly and returned the squeeze. Somehow all their worries have left their heads, because this smallest of gestures said everything waiting to be said. And both of them understood each other now.

"Yea, I'll see you later," Beca said and broke the moment. Chloe smiles a little before pulling away to go to Jane, that she saw a while ago behind the desk. It took a moment for Beca's legs to work again, but when Chloe looked back to see her, she was already gone.

-Pandas-

Beca didn't really have anything to do today so she did something stupid. Instead of going away from the hospital, she decided she would stay the whole five hours here. She turned on the engine of the car and did the only thing she would do when she would wait for anybody. Played the music game on her phone. She won't lie but she's getting pretty damn good at this game, even getting nearly perfect scores for hard levels.

Once she was getting a headache from playing the game, she saw the clock and only an hour had passed. Beca groaned and hit her head on the car head rest. She decided she would annoy Chloe, because what else could she do?

 _[Beca 11:34] Hi._

 _[Chloe 11:36] Yes?_

 _[Beca 11:37] I'm bored. Entertain me._

 _[Chloe 11:39] Okay… How exactly?_

 _[Beca 11:40] Idk._

Beca didn't receive a reply for a while and thought Chloe gave up on her. So instead, she turned on the radio and started tapping the steering wheel with her index fingers to the beats of the song. She stopped when she accidentally hit the car horn hard and a few drivers glanced at her. Her phone chimed and smiled when she saw it was Chloe.

 _[Chloe 11:52] OMG BECA! Was that u!?_

Shit. Chloe could hear it all the way from the ward.

 _[Beca 11:53] Yea…_

 _[Chloe 11:53] What are you doing here?!_

 _[Beca 11:55] I didn't want something to happen to you and me be like 1000000 miles away. Okay?_

 _[Chloe 11:56] … Okay. Then come up, they allow people up here. I'll be lying if I say I'm not bored too._

Beca hesitated at first but then thought 'Eh. Why not?' So Beca got out of the car and made her way to Chloe. Beca saw her and frowned. It was almost like deja vu again, Chloe looks weak while IVs pumped to her body. She lays helplessly on the armchair, closing her eyes. Regardless though, Beca thought she was still the most beautiful thing on the planet. Beca took a seat and sat beside Chloe, the redhead still hasn't moved.

Beca took in Chloe's hands and Chloe looked up to see steely blue eyes staring at her. And just for now, their worries were gone for a while.

-Pandas-

After the whole 5 hours were finished Chloe felt extremely tired. She had to drag herself to the car, and Beca had to help her get on it. Once Beca left the hospital Chloe slept the whole way and Beca can't bring herself to wake her when she came to the apartment. Therefore Beca waited for Chloe to wake up. When she finally did, she bolted right out of the car, leaving Beca confused to follow her. Beca saw that Chloe was clutching her stomach and clamping her mouth shut as she went to the drain near the corner. Beca quickly followed after her once she knew Chloe was going to throw up. 'Shit' Beca thought.

Beca held her hair up when Chloe emptied her breakfast and the tiny bread that Beca got in the hospital, out to the drain. With her other free hand Beca massaged Chloe's back and she could feel her muscles tense every time she retched. Once Chloe was finished, she grabbed Beca's shoulder for support to stand.

"You okay Chloe?" Beca asked, face scrunching when Chloe slightly shook her head.

"I feel like I might faint." Chloe said through panted breathing as she used her other hand to massage her head. Beca hoisted her up and Chloe still couldn't move. And when Beca saw the opportunity, she put Chloe's arm that was on her shoulder on her back and grabbed her feet from underneath her knees. Chloe let out a small whimper as if to say 'What are you doing?'

"You're in no shape to get upstairs without it taking at least an hour. So I'm carrying you… Damn, when did you get so light?" Beca asked when she moved Chloe to a comfortable position. Chloe's head rested on Beca's chest as she slung her arms lazily over Beca's shoulders to meet at her back. The sound of Beca's heartbeat lulled Chloe to sleep, and when Beca reached her apartment, she was out cold. Beca put Chloe into the bed and Chloe woke up by lack of touch.

"Beca…" Chloe cried out.

"Yea Chlo?" Beca responded going to her side again.

"Can you get me some mouthwash? Better yet, can you carry me to the bathroom?"

"Okay," Beca moved again to carry Chloe but she stopped her.

"I meant pull me up and lead me there," Chloe smirked lightly. Beca looked at her sheepishly and put out her hand for Chloe to take. They walked to the bathroom slowly and Beca went to get Chloe her clothes. Chloe changed and brushed her teeth, and after, went to bed again. Beca got her a glass of water and Chloe drank the whole thing without hesitation. Beca was sitting on the side of the bed massaging Chloe's back as she drank the water, and Chloe would let out hums in response.

Suddenly Beca remembered about her car, "Hey Chlo, can you hang here for a bit? I forgot to lock my car, in fact I think your door is still open."

Chloe almost choked on her drink, "What?" She spluttered, making water dribble a little down her chin, "Then by all means go! Don't get your car stolen." Chloe pushed Beca off and made her lose her footing slightly, making her almost fall down.

"Okay okay. I'll be back in a minute." Beca ran out of Chloe's apartment and pressed the elevator button multiple times as if it would come any quicker. And ran out when she reached her floor. Thankfully her car was still there, untouched like before. She huffed out a relief and locked it. Then made her way back up to Chloe's apartment again.

Her phone chimed and Beca opened the text to find that Aubrey had texted her.

 _[Aubrey 3:12] Beca, I'm coming over in a couple hours. Is that okay?_

 _[Beca 3:13] Sure! Chloe would be so happy._

 _[Aubrey 3:13] Ok should I bring dinner?_

 _[Beca 3:14] Why don't we go out? I'll tell Chloe, she basically have been locked up in her house for dayssss_

 _[Aubrey 3:15] Okay then, around 7 yea?_

 _[Beca 3:16] Sounds good Bree, see ya!_

After Beca's texting she walked back to Chloe's apartment and changed into comfortable clothes - because these skinny jeans are killing her- then went into Chloe's room to see Chloe under the bed covers eyes drooping by every second.

"Hey, you want to sleep Chlo?" Beca asked taking a seat beside Chloe. Chloe nodded lazily scooting closer to Beca.

"Aubrey's coming over later to take us out to dinner. That cool with you?" Beca asked as she also moved closer to Chloe.

Chloe's eyes burst open as she sat up, "Aubrey?"

"Yea, she texted me just now. It's alright right?"

"Of course! Why wouldn't I want to see Bree?" Chloe said yawning, all of the energy gone from just sitting up.

"Okay sleepy head. Let's get you to bed so we can go out later," Beca giggled pulling Chloe back down. Chloe complies and pulled Beca down too.

"Comfortable red?" Beca laughed lightly because she couldn't move. Chloe's head was on her chest, body pressed against her side, legs tangled and their left hands were in each other's. Chloe nodded from her chest and sighed from contentment.

A few minutes later Beca heard Chloe's breathing even out and she too sighed. It was moments like these that Beca would loathe. It all feels too couple-y for Beca's taste, but somehow she didn't mind when Chloe does it. Chloe could get through Beca's toughest walls and break them down with a single smile if she wanted to. It hurts Beca to think that being friends with Chloe isn't enough, she wants more. She wants to be able to hug her and not pull away, stare into her eyes as if it's a normal thing to do, hold her hand not because of a reason but because she feels like it, buy her gifts not just once every year for her birthday, and just to tell her she loves her.

But that's selfish. It's not just about what she wants. Even if Beca wants to be with Chloe, she knows she couldn't. Chloe deserves better than her. Sure, she's the one that's taking care of Chloe in her desperate need. That's just what best friends do though. Right?

"I love you too Chlo. So much." Beca whispers.

Unfortunately Chloe doesn't wake up.

-Pandas-

Chloe woke up to a sick feeling in her stomach and an empty bed. She could hear voices outside the room, but can't bring herself to care right now. She sat up trying her best to keep what's left in her stomach down, but that familiar feeling gurgling up inside her knows what's going to happen. So she got onto her feet fast and ran to the bathroom in record time. She started to cough and hack, putting all of what's left in her stomach into the toilet bowl. Not even 30 seconds in, Beca was already beside her, pulling her hair out of her face and rubbing soothing circles behind her back.

After Chloe was done she slumped down on the tiles as Aubrey came in with a glass of hot water, and a concerned look on her face. Beca sat down next to her as Chloe drank the water, careful not burning her tongue.

"You okay Chlo?" Aubrey asked. And Chloe nodded taking a gulp of water.

"Yes actually. It's like one of those vomits that makes you feel better instead of making it worse? Is there even such thing?" Chloe asked a little too enthusiastically. Beca and Aubrey smiled because in that moment Chloe sounded a little bit like Chloe again.

"So you still up for dinner or…?" Beca trailed off waiting for an answer.

"Oh totes! Let me just change and stuff," Chloe got up without any help, suddenly having much more energy than before and led Beca and Aubrey out while she changed. Chloe brushed her teeth, applied make-up and made herself look decent. Then stepping out to see her two best friends waiting for her on the couch. Once they saw Chloe they got up and met her at the doorway.

"So where're we going guys?" Chloe asked.

" _We_ are going to get some take out and eat somewhere that I really want to go," Beca answered.

"And where might that be?" Chloe teased.

"Well you'll just have to find out won't you?" Beca joked back as she opened to door to let Aubrey and Chloe go through first before locking it up with her spare key. They decided to use Beca's car and there was a brief conversation on who was going to sit shotgun, and it ended with Beca saying, "Both of you just sit in the back!"

Therefore Chloe and Aubrey both climbed on to Beca's car while Beca starts the engine. Beca turned on the bluetooth on her car music player and let it sync with her Iphone before driving off. She put the music a little bit high -from when she was bored at the hospital- and Chloe decided that this would be a good time to talk to Aubrey.

"Hey Bree," Chloe initiated.

"Hi Chlo, are you okay? Like really?" She asked and Chloe nodded.

"Don't worry about it," It was silent for a while and Chloe admired the lights that illuminate from the streetlights making the road fill with white. Chloe put a hand on the arm rest and let her head rest on it while leaning on her side too.

"I missed you Bree." Chloe sighed not looking up.

"I missed you too." Aubrey said softly.

After that they got some fast food from the drive-thru and Beca was driving them somewhere. Chloe was alternating between sleeping and attempting not to sleep. Beca soon stopped at the parking space of a park. She gestured for Chloe and Aubrey to follow her. They followed Beca with no questions asked, and soon Beca was leading them off the path and into a tiny forest.

"Beca? Where are we going?" Aubrey asked.

"You'll see. I found this place not to long ago. Do you know that tree in Barden that was at the quad, where I would always sit down at? I miss that tree. It gave me inspirations for music, it was relaxing and I would run away there if I had too much work. I found a similar place here." Beca explained passionately.

They stopped and Aubrey and Chloe gasped. The place was beautiful, there was a river in front of them and the moon illuminated the waves of water making it shine. The trees were dancing a with the wind and together they made a wonderful tune.

"Beca, this place is amazing." Chloe breathed out.

"I know, I come here a lot when I'm stressed. I actually stayed here the night you told me about your cancer… It helped clear my mind," Beca finished smiling. Chloe stood there breathless because Beca's eyes light up when the moon shines at it, and Chloe could stare at those eyes all day.

"It's really nice Beca," Aubrey added.

"Yea… But I'm hungry, so let's eat!" Chloe claps her hand and took the food from Beca's hands. They ate near the river bank and fell into a light conversation. It's a good thing Chloe wore long sleeves and took her hoodie, because it was cold. When they were done they moved to one of the big rocks.

"I'm going to go throw this away," Aubrey said standing up taking the trash with her. "Be right back," And with that she went away.

Chloe shuffled towards Beca and Beca opened her arms as if knowing Chloe is feeling really cold. Chloe sighed as Beca embraced her, she rested her head deep in Beca's shoulder. Chloe's eyes are already closing by nature, Beca's heartbeat always sends her to sleep. All her energy from before are slowly fading.

"Thank you," Chloe whispered from Beca's shoulder. "For everything Beca," Chloe could feel Beca shiver probably from the breath that tickles her neck from her whispers. Beca pulled in Chloe tighter, and rested her head on Chloe's. Chloe could feel a ghost of a kiss on her head, and that was all she felt until she drifted off to sleep.

-Pandas-

Aubrey came back to a sight that she thought was the cutest thing in the world. Chloe was in Beca's arms and lap, asleep. Beca was strumming her fingers through her hair and appears to be lightly singing a song. She couldn't miss the opportunity so she snapped a pic with her phone, making a note to send it to them later. She made her way to them and Beca immediately stood up carrying Chloe.

Tee rest of the walk to the car was silent, and Aubrey drove this time. When they reached to the apartment Beca disappeared into the room with Chloe, and Beca waved her off, saying a thank you. Aubrey smiled and made her way back home, with the happy thought that Chloe was in good hands with Beca. She just hoped Beca would take initiative to her feelings soon. Before anything happens that is.

* * *

A/N: This update took longer than I expected, I had major writer's block. I'm sorry .. My cousins are here again, so life's been pretty hectic. But no matter! I will still try to update as soon as possible. And you know school is starting soon for me, that's a bummer. Furthermore, I _know_ I reallyyy want them to get on with their feelings soon, but all good things come in due time. Also! I wrote this thing because I was so frustrated by writer's block: (Warning: Death)

 _After that they got some fast food from the drive-thru and Beca was driving them somewhere. Chloe was alternating between sleeping and attempting not to sleep. All of the sudden Chloe felt Beca swerve on to another car lane and everything happened in a second. Chloe was hanging there limping as she felt fire on everywhere, her vision was blurred but she could make out Beca's expressionless face as blood trickled down her chin. Chloe couldn't breathe there was something lodge between the ground and her throat, with one last attempt of a breath, she was gone._

Of course I would've never put it up but you know... Boredom takes you places ^^" I was also furiously typing on my laptop, occasionally hitting it, and my cousin took it away from me and told me to calm down first before continuing. He's a nice person. That's all for now! As always. Thoughts? Feelings? Constructive criticism? Wanna write a 2-3 sentence fic about death? Leave all of them in the review thing below. Or in my tumblr, it's the same thing as my username.

 **You don't have to read anything past this if you don't want to.**

 _ **MissCuddless** : That's nice, it's somehow like me and my best friend. We have the occasional banter. Like once she said pie is better than cake. It led to a full scale debate for 3 days, and it ended with a mess in the kitchen. XP_

 _ **jalex1** : Haha my point in this fic is to make people cry so, achievement achieved B)_

 _ **dmpanda5** : It will be a painful ride but I hope you enjoy it anyway! Also thank you! And thanks for being patient! :D_

 _ **Jem 4ever** : Ofc, what other movie has a shower scene? Thank you! :)_

 _ **KC** : I love Pandas. Also you comment made me remember about the time when I was still in middle school, I still remember that our class made a family tree (All of us were really close). So whenever we want to talk about someone without the teacher knowing who it is we would say family names like brother, sister, uncle. And me and my best friend were the married couple, so once she screamed across the classroom "HUSBAND, pass me a pencil!" And the whole class started laughing, the teacher stood there dumfounded. XD Also thank youu! :)_

 _ **Kurochin** : Can we be friends? I legit showed my friends your story, because a similar thing happened when I was in highschool too. So we had a test on history that day and the kid beside me was cheating and he let me get in on it too. So he hid his phone in his pencil case and looked at stuff online. We were 3/4 way to the test when the kid in front of him (One of his friends) took his pencil case saying, "Let me borrow a pencil, mine broke," He freaked and started to grab the pencil case back causing a lot of noise. The teacher took the pencil case and his and my heart were beating so fast. She didn't open the pencil case even though you can CLEARLY see a phone inside it. She merely gave it back with a warning to both of them, and she gave the kid in front a pencil sharpener. We decided not to look at the phone anymore and I still got an A- on that test. XD ALSO I hope you like this Bechloe moment. Also dude, why isn't your ask box open on tumblr? I wanted to talk to you more, once every 5 days isn't enough XD AND one more thing! I coooulllddd take your life instead of Chloe's, it would go something like this: (Warning: Your death)_

 _Chloe was lying on her death bed with Beca beside her holding her hand. Beca stayed up all night crying when Dr. Neal told them she wouldn't make it. But somehow a random stranger burst through the door and went inside the room. The stranger yelled, "FOR THE FANDOM," and took their own life. All of the sudden Chloe burst right awake, all the paleness and bruises were gone. She didn't wonder why there was a dead random stranger in the room but kissed Beca instead, took her home and had sex. THE END._

 _Of course no hard feeelings. *multiple heart emojis* :)_

 _ **Guest** : Thank you for waiting, here it is :)_


	9. I'm not leaving you Ever

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

A/N: Also I know next to nothing about Cancer, I'm basing this off of experience with a family member and wikipedia, so if something's wrong. _Please don't hesitate to tell me._

* * *

 **HOPING FOR TOMORROW**

* * *

Chapter 9: I'm not leaving you. Ever.

 _Beca took time off from work because Chloe said she was feeling bad. She mostly stayed at her bed and slept, occasionally moving to the couch. Beca would move in a rhythm, wake up, eat, wait for Chloe to wake up, feed Chloe, make mixes, kill time, make dinner, eat together, repeat. It's been like this for a week until another chemo session goes by. And Beca has only so much tolerance for this. She thinks Chloe starts to notice her restlessness. Chloe always notices._

* * *

"Beca... You have been in this house for a week. Please go out. Call CR or Stacie, _heck_ even call Aubrey, just because I can't go out, doesn't mean you shouldn't." Chloe pointed her finger at her from the bed.

"But Chlo-"

"No buts. Go away, I don't want to see your face until later." Chloe's voice was stern, Beca knows she's only doing it for the good of her sanity. But Beca doesn't want to come back to a sick Chloe, and the feeling of grievance because she stayed out too long.

"Okay. But you have to promise me that you'll call me if anything, and I mean _anything_ happens Chlo. Promise me?" Beca asked.

"I promise. Now go!" Chloe got up from the bed and pushed her weakly out the door, then she waved and smiled before shutting it.

Beca decided to call Aubrey, because she's the only other person who knows about Chloe. She has no problems calling CR or Stacie, but around them she has to be careful if she says anything about Chloe's cancer.

"Hello. This is Aubrey Posen." Aubrey picked up her phone by the third ring.

"Aubrey… You know it's me right? They have caller IDs for a reason. And I specifically know you put me under 'Annoying Alt Girl' since Barden," Beca smirked while opening her car.

"Yea. Yea. Shut up Mitchell, what do you want?"

"Are you free to go to lunch?"

"Okay sure. With Chloe?" Aubrey asked and Beca could make out sounds of papers moving.

"Ahh, no. Just me. Chloe kicked me out of the house. She said I've been spending too much time there."

"Of course Chloe would still think about others when she's the one suffering. That girl sometimes…" Aubrey muttered. "And about lunch, yea I can be there. Where though?"

"The place I showed you last week? Near the river? Can we go there? Don't worry about the food, I'll buy it on the way." Beca said putting her phone through the car's speaker so she could talk to Aubrey and drive.

"Okay, but can you meet me in the parking lot? I think I forgot my way inside."

"Sure. See ya Posen."

"Later Mitchell." Aubrey hung up the phone and Beca made her way to get some food. She settled on sandwiches and two slices of cake at a nearby cafe. When she got inside, she remembers about Chloe. This was where she would get her coffee in the morning before school. Chloe took her here sometimes, and she thinks that this would be so much better with her.

The cafe was decorated beautifully, and it makes her feel very cosy. Almost like how Chloe makes her feel. The noise at the cafe was usually oddly comforting to Beca, but now it's just aimless sound.

She hates that without Chloe she feels so _different._ She feels so lost. Even spending a month continuously with her, she still misses her every time they're apart. And it's not so much of the fact that Chloe's sick, sure it's a big part, but it's not all. She just misses Chloe, she misses the way that she takes her arm without realizing, the way she laughs at Beca's sarcastic comments, the way her face scrunches when she tastes Beca's bitter coffee, she just downright misses her. She feels a tug in her heart because she wants to be around Chloe all the time. She makes her feel safe and at home. Beca hopes that she can return the favour.

She picks up her order and mutters a thank you to the barista as he smiled back. She went back to her car and went to the park. When she parked she saw Aubrey's car with her inside it. Beca went out from her car and knocked on Aubrey's door to get her attention. She looked up from her phone and smiled a little, Aubrey turned off her car and met Beca outside.

"So I got sandwiches, cake and coffee." Beca held up the stuff and Aubrey smirked. Beca led the way to her hideout again, and with every step she was still thinking about Chloe. The last time she was on this route, her hands were in Chloe's pocket on her hoodie. And her head was resting on Beca's shoulder as they walked. Now she can't go back here without at least thinking about that moment. Beca's hand twitched at the memory and looked back to Aubrey to make sure she was still following her.

They settled on the same rock that they previously sat at and began to eat.

"So Aubrey, how've you been?" Beca asked.

"I've been good. Work's a bitch as usual," Aubrey replied taking another bite of her sandwich. "You?"

"I'm fine… I guess." Beca lied. She was anything from fine. She wanted to tell Aubrey that she's hurting. Everyday she wakes up to pale-faced Chloe and worry struck her before she could see Chloe's light breathing. Sometimes she would have nightmares that one day Chloe wouldn't wake up, that she could no longer see her breathing. Beca wanted desperately to cry out that seeing Chloe like this everyday was painful. But of course she doesn't. Beca turned away to pretend to look at some fishes swimming, in reality she was hiding the fact that her eyes were stinging. 'Stupid feelings.' Beca thought.

"Bullshit Beca. What's really going on?" Aubrey asked as she placed a hand on her shoulder as she turned Beca around to face her. Beca kept her eyes down, there's no way Aubrey couldn't tell she wasn't crying now. Beca closed her eyes and sniffled. Aubrey put her sandwich down and put her other hand on Beca's other shoulder. All of the sudden Aubrey was hugging her, Beca tensed at the sudden affection but accepted it anyway knowing she needs it.

Beca didn't talk to anyone about Chloe. She didn't rant about how fucked up this situation is. She usually had Chloe to do that, but how could she voice out her feelings if Chloe's the one causing it. She was downright crying now, her mind flickered a little knowing that Aubrey's shirt would get wet. So she pulls back and pressed her hand in her eyes to make the crying stop.

"You don't need to hide away Beca… Just tell me the problem?"

" _God_ Bree. I- I don't even know what's the problem." Beca said in a strained voice.

"Well let's start with why're you crying?"

"I don't _fucking_ know. It just hurts Bree, seeing- seeing her everyday. I want to help, but aside from what I'm doing now. I don't know what else to do. She just looks so pale, more bruises are starting to form to replace the old ones, and Chloe looks- she looks like she's given up on life. And- I- I don't want her to! I want her to still be here. It hurts every time I spend anytime apart without her. I don't even know why. Is it because my stupid feelings telling her I like her? Or is it because I'm so accustomed to seeing Chloe everyday and knowing she's okay that- that when she isn't, it's killing _me_?" Beca huffed out and was now panting. Her eyes are stinging again now, and the back of her throat feels dry. She took in a sip of her coffee and looked into Aubrey's emerald eyes. It was filled with concern, pity, sadness and hope?

"Beca. I didn't know you felt this way." Beca thinks that Aubrey's voice sounded heartbreaking and there was a small crack in her voice.

"I didn't too. Chloe's just- she's my everything." Beca saw Aubrey's face softened at that. "I mean she's the one who got practically made my life what it is. She got me to audition for the Bellas, she got me to move to LA, she got me to do the things I thought I never had any capability to do. She's- she's part of my life." Beca saw that Aubrey was going to say something, probably comforting words, but Beca beat her to it. "I'm not going to lie, ever since I broke up with Jesse I wanted to be with her. I always thought that- that we'd have some sort of future. And it's hard for to accept that now that's never going to happen, because- because I can see her everyday fading. Just letting her life being taken away." Beca paused for a moment staring into distance, Aubrey didn't say anything yet.

"She was supposed to be friends with me forever. She promised me that in my sophomore year. Even if we aren't in a relationship, I still want her to be with me. And she had such high hopes and ambitions, she was supposed to organize the end of the year school concert. And I really want to see her achieve those dreams. She deserves to do them. She was the one to always keep me grounded. Now I don't even know if she's going to make it through the next year. What fucking bullshit is this Aubrey. I'm so angry at _life,_ what heartless creature would put Chloe, a freaking angel from heaven, through this hell?" Beca balled up her fists as she looked back at Aubrey.

" _Beca._ " Aubrey started but Beca cut her off standing up.

"You don't have to respond to any of that Posen." Beca remarked, her voice sounding venomous. Beca started to run away when Aubrey caught up to her and stopped her by the hand.

"Just leave me Aubrey. Please. And don't tell a single soul anything I said here." Beca turned away from Aubrey and tried to tug her arms out of Aubrey's grasp. But Aubrey kept a firm grip around it.

"Beca. You're allowed to express your feelings. I know that you want to say so much more. And you're allowed to do that, but before you do, you have to let them." Aubrey flashed a small smile.

Beca looked at Aubrey with hope and thankfulness "Okay. Yea. Thanks." Beca said gulping down the tears. They walked back in silence towards the parking lot.

"Beca. Take care of yourself okay? I want you to be happy. And you know, you should tell Chloe your feelings. Regardless of the situation. It'll be a lot better once you do."

Beca can only nod and smile.

"Thanks a lot Aubrey. I mean it."

"You're welcome. See ya."

"And Posen… If you mention to anyone that I cried. I will end you." Beca said attempting to lighten the mood. Aubrey chuckled but replied with a mocking gasp,

"Aww, the little DJ has feelings?"

Beca scowled and then returned to her soft stare. Beca knew that the Aubrey and Beca from freshman year have long gone, they trust each other now. And Beca's grateful. They hugged good-bye and returned to their cars.

-Pandas-

Beca drove back to Chloe's apartment with the only thought that she finally can see the redhead again. She got down from her car and during her walk, she got a call from CR.

"CR? I told you I'll be back on Monday," Beca said.

"Nope. You're not going to be here on Monday,"

"What? Why?" Beca stopped in front of the elevator not wanting to go in it just yet.

"Because… YOUR ALBUM WAS A HIT AND MANY ARTISTS WANT TO COLLABORATE WITH YOU!" CR's voice rang through and Beca had to put her phone away slightly from the high pitched voice.

"Okay? But what does that have to do with me being in the studio on Monday? OMG am I getting a holiday?" Beca asked excitedly, because time with Chloe sounds a lot better than being locked up in a studio.

"Close. You're going to Miami for 2 weeks! I just spoke with boss and he wants you there to meet some people. Congrats girl!"

Beca's heart dropped right when CR said 2 weeks. 2 weeks of no Chloe. 2 weeks where she's actually millions of miles away from each other. 2 weeks where she has to get a 5 hour flight if something happens. 2 weeks of pretending her life is fan-fucking-tastic but she's internally dying. 2. Weeks. Without. _Chloe._

"No, no, no, I- I- I can't go to Miami for two weeks. Two days yea, but I can't stay for two weeks." Beca stammered.

"Huh? Why?"

"I- I-" Beca was cut off because she doesn't have a valid excuse to CR. She can't tell her that she's taking care of a cancer patient who happens to be their very own Chloe Beale. She can't tell her that her heart won't be able to take 2 weeks of not seeing Chloe when she can't even stand 2 hours without her. She can't tell CR anything.

"Well?" CR's voice sounded very confused.

Beca suddenly have the urge to cry now, she doesn't have a legitimate excuse to not leave LA without telling CR everything. She wants to. But she respects Chloe's decision. So she's willing to die a little for her. Even if that means everyday.

"I'll go." Beca's voice was foreign to Beca. It was dry, hopeless, like she didn't have any other choice than to say it.

"Alrighttt, I already sent the flight details to your email. You leave Monday afternoon. See ya then captain!"

Beca hung up her phone quickly and put it in her bag. She clenched her fists tightly. 'Stupid Chloe. Stupid Cancer. Stupid Feelings. Stupid… EVERYTHING.' Beca screamed in her head.

"Fucking hell." Beca pressed her palm on her eyes and pressed the elevator button. When the elevator came, she quickly tried to hide the fact that she's been crying from the mirrors inside. When she was satisfied, the elevator reached the 17th floor.

Beca opened the door with a sigh. She had to make dinner for Chloe who was probably sleeping. She changed outside not wanting to wake her, she heard small sounds of crying, but brushed it off as her mind trying to play tricks on her. She started to cook vegetable soup for Chloe and rice if she wanted some.

She was in the middle of peeling potatoes when she could hear footsteps from Chloe's bedroom. She hears constant thudding that can't be made from footsteps only unless Chloe was running. Beca put down the knife and potato, then slowly made her way to Chloe's door.

From there she could hear Chloe's strangled sobs. Her breathing was labored and Chloe sounded as if she was choking. Beca thinks that she's having another puking fit and opens the door hastily to find Chloe resting on the floor by her bed. She was hugging her feet and bowing her head, and wearing her hoodie up. Beca knew she was crying.

"Chloe."

"What." Chloe's voice was thick like she stopped crying just to say that word. Chloe doesn't look up but Beca could probably make out her face. Her lips would tremble, nose scrunched and eyes filled with tears.

"You- you okay?" Beca asks emphatically.

"I'm fine. Just go resume what you were doing." Chloe said slowly looking up.

"I just want to make sure you're okay, were you hitting the floor?" Beca asked seeing Chloe's hands that were closed up and holding something. Chloe shook her head violently and let her knees fall to the ground.

"Hey, hey, hey, you're okay. You're alright." Beca was soon by her side as she crouched down to take Chloe's hands. Chloe pulled her hand away and pushed herself off the floor. Beca could see how much effort Chloe put into standing up, her arms and legs shook as she did so. Beca stood up now too and Chloe started to move around the room. From her bed, to her window, to her bathroom door, her breathing is not constant. Beca follows her like a lost puppy whispering comforting words, but Chloe doesn't notice at all. Beca's been through enough panic attacks in highschool to know that Chloe's having one. She shut the world out, and is stuck in her mind. Beca needs to get Chloe to calm down before it gets worse. She grabs Chloe by the hand and pulls her close to her. Chloe's eyes look so lost, she stares at Beca, but Beca knows Chloe can't see her. Chloe leans onto Beca for support and Beca has to keep grounded.

"Chloe. You're having a panic attack. Can you breathe like me? In, out, in, out. Okay? Just like that." Beca matched Chloe's breathing with her own and once Chloe was conscious, she started to cry again. Chloe gestured for Beca to open her hand and she put the contents of her closed fist inside it.

Beca didn't have to look to know what it was. She forgot how to breathe for a moment and looked at Chloe with soft eyes. It was a clump of Chloe's hair, she knew it was bound to happen. She just didn't know it was happening so soon. Chloe's breathing was heavy and labored again but Beca slowed it down a little. And it just proves Beca's point, Chloe was slowly fading. Slowly being pulled out of this world.

Beca threw away the hair and took in Chloe's hands. "Chloe, it's okay. This was bound to happen." and Beca hopes that what she's saying is comforting in a way. She wants Chloe to stop crying, to know Beca's here. "This is normal Chlo."

Chloe took back her hand and puts down her hoodie. She erratically ran her hand through her face. And before Beca could stop her, Chloe shouts at her, "I don't want this to be normal for me Beca! _This_ isn't supposed to be normal! I don't want to go through this anymore! I don't want to do it! I can't sit around and wait for something that can't even be guaranteed to happen! It's so hard Beca! I'm so fucking _tired_ all day. I don't even know if I'm getting better or getting worse. I want this to stop so badly. I don't want to spend what probably is my last days like this! I'm ruining things for everyone not just myself!" Chloe stops and Beca took in her form. Beca's breath hitches when Chloe stares directly to her eyes. Her voice cut Beca deep, like something sharp is lodged in her throat.

"I don't care what happens to me anymore. But seeing you waste your life for me Beca, it hurts. Aubrey won't even come and see me as often anymore. I can't see any of the other Bellas, and I want to tell them but I just can't. I've even stopped being in contact with my parents, just occasionally telling them that chemo went well and shit. And then there's you Beca. You waste all this time around me. You're wasting a part of your life for me. You spend everyday you can here. You're cooking for me, cleaning up my apartment, giving me my meds, helping me sleep, cleaning after my vomit sessions. Why? Why do you waste your time with me? You deserve so much more than _this._ "

Beca doesn't realize she's crying. But quickly wiped it away. She wants to say something but her voice is caught by her throat. She wants to say that Chloe's the one who deserves so much more. She wants to say she's staying because Chloe's her everything. That there _is no life_ without Chloe, because she is her life. Beca lives to see Chloe happy, to see those blue irises fill with joy. It's so rare to see Chloe like that again, it's almost like she's lost the shine. She almost says that, almost. But doesn't. So Beca stays silent. Chloe's still crying and decided to continue her speech but no longer shouting.

"And now I already look so sick. I look in the fucking mirror and I don't even see myself anymore. All I see is the cancer. It's taking over my life, and I'm not sure I even have a life anymore. I'm so tired Beca. I literally have no energy. I don't- I give up." Chloe pled. Chloe's eyes are searching for assurance, but when she found none from Beca, she stepped aside and went out of the room. It took a second for Beca to register what had happened before following Chloe outside to her living room.

Chloe was looking out the open window slightly out of it. Her hand resting on the ledge as she stood. Beca went beside her and put her hand around Chloe's waist, only to be jerked off by Chloe. They looked out to the busy city of LA, the bright streaks of orange and yellow are blending in with the colour of the night. Stars are beginning to emanate from the dark and Beca thinks is beautiful. Almost as beautiful as Chloe.

The sounds of cars buzzing and passing by is always what you hear in LA. It's as if the city is breathing. Beca wonders if they get lost in it, would they disappear? Could they disappear into the depths of the city forgetting about worries and reality for a while? She doesn't want Chloe to feel this way. She doesn't want Chloe to feel as if she's destroying her life, she doesn't want her to feel as if there's this burden that she has to carry. She doesn't deserve it.

She can feel Chloe shiver as they are standing so close to each other. Chloe sighed and said, "I'm sorry." Beca tries to touch Chloe again but she refused once more.

"Chloe please. Don't be like that." Beca begged.

Beca heard Chloe mutter out some kind of a no before moving to the couch. Beca again followed and sat beside her.

"What do you want me to do Chloe? Do you want me to go?" Beca asked because a little part of her is saying give up. But she's doing everything she can to not listen to that part.

"I don't know Beca. I don't want you to stay until the point that you lose me and move on. I don't want you to waste your life for me, for nothing. I'm so scared Beca. So so scared. I don't want you to leave, but I don't want you to stay either. I want you to stay because you enjoy my company, not because you suddenly have the responsibility to take care of me like a babysitter. And I just, I'm more than thankful that you're doing this but I also feel like I don't want you to." Chloe explains.

Beca doesn't have any words for her. She wants to say so much to Chloe. To tell her she's staying. Tell her she's not going anywhere. Instead she just takes her hand and leaves it there for a while to tell Chloe she's touching it. Her thumb moves across Chloe's knuckles and she can see a small bruise there. Beca smiles softly before taking the hand near her face to graze her lips over it. Chloe smiles at this and giggles a bit because it's ticklish.

Beca pulls Chloe by the hand so that Chloe is pressed up against her. She moves her hand to Chloe's waist bringing Chloe closer to her. Chloe sighed and rested her head on Beca's chest. Both put their feet up on the coffee table and Chloe took in Beca's other hand and started to draw mindlessly on it.

"I'm here Chloe. And I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for you." Beca whispered but she means so much more than that. It's partly true, she just didn't want to say she's leaving for 2 weeks to Chloe right now when she's fragile like this.

'I'm not going to leave you because I love you. And for some reason the universe brought us together for a reason. You make me feel things. And I don't care if I never get to kiss you or tell I love you to your face but I'm here. I'll always be' Beca thought.

Chloe looked up to meet Beca's gaze, "I don't want to go Beca. Don't make me."

"You're not going anywhere Chloe." Beca put a kiss on top of Chloe's head before resting her foreheads. "You can't leave me here. You promised we'll be together forever," Beca says that with so much love and care. There was so much intimacy between them, and unsaid words that surrounded their barrier. But as soon as the words escaped Beca's mouth it feels like reality slips. Time just stops like that for a while, only for them. But of course all good things must come to an end, so she shifts slightly to allow Chloe to rest back on her chest while her hand is running up and down her sides.

Beca could feel Chloe's hand's grasp getting loose. Chloe's breathing became even and she drifted off to sleep. Beca could feel the apartment getting colder because of the opened window so she carries Chloe inside the room and put her under the covers. Beca settles beside her taking in her hand. She traces patterns over it and is satisfied. Sometimes she wishes it would always be like this. So carefree and loved. It's the best feeling in the world. Chloe always makes Beca feels this way. Chloe, the very own person that Beca wants to remain in her life forever. Chloe who makes her feel like home, who makes her never feel lost. Chloe. The basic definition of love for Beca.

Chloe's not only that. She's everything.

* * *

A/N: PHEW! I'm getting headaches reading this chapter. I don't actually have anything to say right now. And that's something new XD Oh next update is for sure on Sunday. Something big is gonna happen that chapter ;) (hint hint) And yea that's all I guess. AND as usuallll Thoughts? Feelings? Constructive criticism? A guess on what's going to happen next chapter? Leave all of them in the review thing below. Or in my tumblr, it's the same thing as my username. Also if you wanna get a preview of next chapter PM me or ask me on tumblr.

 _MissCuddless: I wouldn't have been able to cope with myself if I actually put that in the story. XD_

 _acatrash: Thank you XD I only aim to make people feel._

 _Kurochin/AleKuroba: I'm glad you loved this chapter and also re-reading your short fic about mangoes makes me laugh everytime. XD (My cousins are now gone so prepare for depressing scenesssss)_

 _jalex1: #soon ;)_

 _Somebody: (Lol love your guest name) Thanks so much dude! I love making people die, just like Chlo- I mean. NoThInG's HaPpEniNg :D But really thank youuu! *bandages your heart*_


	10. All my senses are screaming for you

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

A/N: Also I know next to nothing about Cancer, I'm basing this off of experience with a family member and wikipedia, so if something's wrong. _Please don't hesitate to tell me._

* * *

 **HOPING FOR TOMORROW**

* * *

Chapter 10: All my senses are screaming for you

 _Beca eventually told Chloe she's going to be leaving Monday. Chloe didn't seem to mind a lot. She told Aubrey to go to Chloe's and take regular checkups of her. Chloe seemed to get her energy back a little so Beca's not too worried. Soon it was time for Beca to leave for Miami, and Chloe accompanied her to the airport and so did Aubrey. CR came too and Chloe was trying so hard to act normal. CR didn't seem to notice anything though, and Chloe was relieved. Then in no time at all, it was time for Beca to go._

* * *

Chloe hates that Beca has to go. She's with Aubrey standing in the middle of bustling people with bags, all going to their respective flights. Chloe stared at where she last saw Beca, unable to pry her eyes away from it, hoping that if she looked long enough, she would still see Beca there smiling awkwardly. Chloe hates that she won't wake up to the smell of her favorite breakfasts, and the voice of Beca singing while she cooks. She hates that the one person she wants to spend time with isn't with her. And she _hates_ that she has to leave the airport to fully accept that Beca won't be spending any time with her for 2 weeks.

Chloe thinks it's stupid how it isn't even 10 minutes yet, and she already misses Beca. Sure Aubrey would be there to take care of her, but she'll miss the brunette. Aubrey can't spoon her in the middle of the night to make her sleep. Aubrey can't hold her hand every time she feels sad. Aubrey won't cuddle with her and watch TV until she sleeps. Aubrey won't carry her to her room when she falls asleep on the couch. Aubrey's heartbeat doesn't match Beca's when she needs something to make her sleep. Because only Beca can do those things.

But Beca won't be there.

Chloe also thinks she's very selfish. She loves when Beca takes time off work for her. But here she is thinking she could stop her to go to Miami which has been Beca's dream, for forever. Chloe selfishly thought that Beca would've declined and stayed with her instead. It was unfair, and she's kind of angry at herself for thinking that she's upset that Beca gets to be successful.

Chloe can't bring herself to care that Aubrey's tugging her hand to move. She's pretty sure Aubrey's saying something but Chloe's mind can't focus on her right now. She wants Beca back. She needs Beca back. Chloe looks one more time at where Beca was standing and finally followed Aubrey.

She wants Beca home. So much.

-Pandas-

The past week has been miserable for Chloe. She has been having trouble sleeping, her bruises ache so much and she can't bring herself to get out of the bed sometimes. She also have been getting massive headaches and painkillers weren't helping. Aubrey would only check up on her once a day to feed her meds and make her lunch, dinner and breakfast for tomorrow. Other than that she's pretty much alone.

Beca has been giving her regular updates on what she's been doing and who she's been meeting. She was surprised when she met quite a number famous people. She basically sent her snapchats of her secretly screaming when she'd met them. Chloe would always reply just as happy. But Chloe wasn't. She misses Beca so much. When Chloe said she was in pain Beca would always hold her, her body pressed up against her body radiating warmth soothed her aches. Now she would cover herself in a lot of blankets hoping it would at least cover a fraction of what Beca does.

Chloe slept on the couch on the first night, she fell asleep to the low sound of the television. Just as she had expected, Aubrey wouldn't move her to the bed. Instead, she was covered with two blankets and a pillow under her head. The second night and the nights after that she made sure to move to the bed. She would wake up every morning feeling aches all over her body and the feeling of loneliness. Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night feeling too many blankets around her and she moves them away for Beca to take, but realizes that Beca isn't there. She falls back asleep with a sickening feeling in her chest. How she wishes 2 weeks would go by fast.

-Pandas-

Chloe wakes up on the 11th day without Beca. She followed her usual routine of getting the breakfast that Aubrey made for her and checks her phone for messages from Beca. She surprisingly got two and it was only 9am.

 _[Beca 7:43] Wayyy to early in the morning to wake up. U still asleep?_

 _[Beca 8:26] I'm guessing you are still sleeping. Text me back later._

Chloe smiled and texted back Beca, unphased that she gets a response almost instantly from her.

 _[Chloe 9:12] I'm awake now. Why were you awake so early?_

 _[Beca 9:12] I'm barely awake. Apparently I had to go to a board meeting, boring as fuck._

 _[Chloe 9:13] Haha, don't speak like that towards your bosses. They might fire you._

 _[Beca 9:13] HAH. Like they could._

 _[Chloe 9:13] So confident Mitchell?_

 _[Beca 9:14] You know it Beale ;) Also why didn't you tell me Miami's temperature is practically like the sun. I only brought black and skinny jeans, I've been ddddyyyyiinnngg._

 _[Chloe 9:15] I told you to bring those tank tops, but you said you wouldn't need them. Don't you just love those leather jackets you brought now._

 _[Beca 9:16] Oh shut up. And also I said nothing about not bringing tank tops. All I know is that I'm sweating every time I go outside, which is like 80% of what I've been doing. And you're partially at fault for it._

 _[Chloe 9:16] Okay next time I'll sneak in tank tops for you. (Secretly hoping that you're going somewhere cold next time)_

 _[Beca 9:17] Haha. Very funny. Also I don't think there's going to be a next time._

 _[Chloe 9:18] huh why?_

 _[Beca 9:18] I don't think I can stand this long without you. I practically couldn't sleep these past nights._

 _[Chloe 9:19] I've been feeling the same. I miss your snoring waking me up all the time like there's a mammoth in the room._

 _[Beca 9:20] I miss you hogging up all the blankets and leaving me cold and freezing._

 _[Chloe 9:21] I miss your terrible attempt at cooking. (srsly who burns toast 26 times)_

 _[Beca 9:21] I miss your enforcement of movie nights. Always. I think I know more movies than Jesse now._

 _[Chloe 9:22] I miss you._

 _[Beca 9:22] Yea. I miss you too._

Chloe almost says it. She almost typed I love you. Almost. She was a millisecond away from doing that, but thankfully Beca beat her by texting back something else.

 _[Beca 9:23] I gtg. CR's calling me. Apparently it doesn't take 10 minutes to get cold water from the fridge. *eye roll* I'll call you later okay?_

 _[Chloe 9:23] Haha sorry for making her wait. And yea call me whenever, I'm free all day today._

'Just like I am everyday.' Chloe thought.

 _[Beca 9:24] Haha alright. Take care Chlo. Bye._

 _[Chloe 9:24] Bye._

Chloe smiles at their texts. Even when Beca's miles away from her, she still manages to create butterflies in her stomach.

The rest of the day went by fast but boring. She wasted her time watching TV and reading books. Aubrey came by and dropped by food, saying that she couldn't stay for long and needed to go somewhere important. Chloe didn't mind, she knew the blonde had to work.

Beca ended up calling her around 8pm. Chloe was on her bed with her laptop and phone beside her when the call came. She's also covered in all of the blankets she owned, even with it she still feels cold. She picked up when heard the titanium ringtone, with a smile.

"Hey," Chloe greeted. Her voice sounds so exhausted and tired. She doesn't even recognize it anymore.

"Hey Chlo!" Beca on the other hand sounds too happy. And Chloe's smile falters a bit at that.

"How are you? What did you do today, aside from that boring meeting?" Chloe asked.

"I'm good. Great actually. I just got home from dinner with CR and some other people. And you know other fun stuff. How about you?"

"I'm good too." Chloe lied. She's been miserable without Beca. Aubrey's been nothing but a caretaker for Chloe. She gave food, cleaned up but does it with so much minimalism. She doesn't even bother to talk to Chloe sometimes. Chloe's not sure why, but she thinks that Aubrey feels as though her best friend is gone somehow. Chloe hates it. She wants Beca. Her whole body, mind and soul aches for Beca. Just Beca.

Beca, who takes care of her with so much love and care. Who sometimes make her feel normal again. Who knows how to hold her in all the right places and when to do it. Who makes her feel warm and happy inside after a long day. Who covers the now empty space in her bed so it doesn't seem so huge. She's the only one who treats Chloe like how she's supposed to be treated.

"That's good to hear! I was worried you're going to miss me too much. I hope Posen's been taking awesome care of you." Beca said.

"Yea… Yea…" Chloe replied not wanting to ruin Beca's mood. "So umm tell me about your day,"

"Oh let me tell you what happened at lunch…" Beca then rattled off her day to Chloe. Saying all the exciting things that had happened. Hearing Beca's voice was the highlight of hers everyday. She relaxed into the covers while Beca says something about a mango being thrown. She imagines Beca's actually next to her saying these things, and she instantly feels more calm. She feels the aches in her body slowly unwinding. Chloe just sits there and listens to Beca's soft voice slowly making her eyes droop.

"- And that's how I will never trust old ladies with mangoes again. Trust me there was a girl drowning in the water and everything... Chlo? Still there?"

"Hmm? Oh yea. What about mangoes?"

Chloe heard Beca giggle, "Never mind. I'll tell you that story another time then."

"I'm sorry, I'm just tired and I miss your voice. And it kinda makes me want to sleep, but I still want to talk to you. But I can't 'cause I'm so tired. I didn't even do anything today. _God,_ I hate how I don't have energy to do anything anymore." Chloe didn't even realize she was mumbling the last words of her sentence until Beca said, "What?"

"I said that cancer's taking a toll on me." Chloe repeated. She really didn't want to ruin Beca's joyful mood but she knows Beca won't mind. In fact she knows it'll just give Beca a piece of mind. She heard Beca sigh before saying,

"Don't worry. I'll be home in no time okay?" Chloe nods before realizing that Beca can't see her nod.

"Yea… Mmkay."

After that they just lapsed into silence. She could still hear Beca's breathing on the other side and it wasn't awkward. It was more of Beca knowing that Chloe wants her there, but she couldn't be a part of a conversation.

"I'm sorry I had to leave Chloe. I'm really sorry. I promise no more leaving. And I already told CR that after this I'm going to take a huge break. Just for you. Hearing you like that pains me."

"It's okay Beca." Chloe muttered, sounding more like 'ish kay Be-ca'.

"I miss you. So much," Beca said strongly. And Chloe nods even though she can't see her. She bit her lip and said, "I miss you too." With all the energy she had. And it's true, she misses Beca. It hurts that she's not here.

"Can you stay on the line tonight? Please? I don't want to be alone." Chloe pled, voice sounding tired and raspy.

"Yea. Sure, anything for you Chlo. In fact do you want to facetime? I'll keep my laptop beside me. And yours too. It'll be almost like I'm there."

"Okay sure." Chloe hung up Beca and went to call her through the laptop. And Beca's right, it'll almost be like she's here. _Almost._

-Pandas-

Beca accepted the call with no hesitation. She smiled when Chloe's face came on to the screen. Her room was dark, with the only light coming from her laptop. From here Beca can already see Chloe's state. She looks so… Broken. Her Barden Bellas hoodie is about 10 sizes too big for her now, and she's wearing a beanie underneath her hoodie that hides what's left of her hair. Beca tries to smile but inside she's almost in the verge of a breakdown. It's been 11 days since Beca's seen Chloe, aside from the 5 second snapchats that she sends. Her chest is hurting and soon her whole body. She just wants to crawl through the laptop and appear next to Chloe so she can hold her and whisper sweet nothings to her until both of them falls asleep.

"Comfy?" Beca asks as she looks at Chloe who's trying to move blankets over her body. "No offense Chlo, but you look like a huge burrito." Beca sees Chloe giggle from the screen and Chloe finally stops shifting.

"Please don't leave?" Chloe asked in a small voice that makes Beca shiver.

"Of course not Chlo. Not ever. I'll stay. Okay? I always do." Beca promised as she saw Chloe's eyes shut.

"Night Chlo." Beca whispered.

"Night Becs. Love you." Chloe said.

She stills at the sound of 'love you' because she knows Chloe said it in the most platonic way possible. It doesn't mean anything. Beca repeated in her head. So why is she replaying the way Chloe says it as if it's the only thing Beca needs to live. She memorizes the way her voice sounded, like it's the most beautiful sound in the world. The feeling Beca gets from hearing that is the feeling she gets when she's too absorbed in her music, she feels safe.

"Yea… Love you too…" Beca whispers, and she's not sure Chloe hears it until Chloe smiles a small smile with her eyes still closed.

Beca moved on her back and shut her eyes. She listened to Chloe's breathing beside her, and she knows that Chloe's asleep by now. She hopes to forget about the cancer for a while, to seep on the happiness that Chloe brought when she had said those words. Maybe finally she can get a good night's sleep tonight.

-Pandas-

The last three days in Miami went by in a blur for Beca. She couldn't keep her mind off the redhead that she was going to see in a few hours. Beca was in her flight, sitting next to CR. She had requested the first flight out of there which left at 5am, meaning she would arrive at LA at around 10am. Chloe has a chemo session that day, and Beca wouldn't want to miss another one.

Her body was aching to see Chloe, to hug her, to hold her, tell her everything's going to be okay. She doesn't doubt that Aubrey has done a great job taking care of her but she couldn't shake off the feeling that Aubrey didn't do _enough._ When she steps out of the tunnel with her bag she immediately searched for the redhead, CR went off first saying goodbye to Beca. And Beca returned with a curt nod.

The she spotted her. In the cafe they last sat at, Aubrey was in one of the chairs while Chloe was on the sofa ones. The first thought that came to her mind was that Chloe looks so _sick._ She had on her Barden hoodie that she wore the last time Beca called her, sweatpants, a beanie, her hoodie was up, she also wore boots that were worn only in winter. She pulled her knees up to her face while her head rested on them, and Beca knows that that's probably the only comfort she had had for the past two weeks.

Beca immediately dashed towards the cafe, ignoring the many patrons that looked at her. Aubrey made eye contact with the brunette and smiled. Chloe tilted her head and at that moment Beca's breath hitched and she began to slow down. She can see Chloe leaning in to Aubrey and pointed weakly at Beca. Aubrey was immediately by her side and pulling her to stand up. Beca felt like her legs wouldn't move, because even from where she was standing she could see Chloe's hand trembling, and she gulped. They met halfway and Beca grinned at Chloe.

"Beca." Aubrey's voice sounded.

"Aubrey." Beca returned bowing her head, then returning her attention to the redhead that was standing in front of her.

"I took your car here so you two can return to go to the hospital right away, I can get a taxi or something." Aubrey explained, but to be honest, Beca wasn't paying the slightest attention. She loves Aubrey, she really does, but all she wants is for her to go away for a moment. Aubrey seemed to get that they would like to be left alone, and so she'd left.

"Hi," Beca breathed out.

"Hey," Chloe replied.

There was a moment of silence where all they could do was look into each other's eyes. Beca's eyes traveled down to her lips for only a second before returning up. She grabbed Chloe's hands, that was unnervingly cold, and pulled her away from the middle of the airport where they were standing at. Once they were out of the way from the other passengers, they hugged. And Beca held on to Chloe's tight frame, not wanting to let go.

"You know Chlo…" Beca said.

"Yea?"

"You really _do_ look like a big burrito." Beca giggled pulling back from their tight embrace.

"Shut up." Chloe weakly hit her.

There was another moment where they just stared at each other, afraid if they blink, the other would be gone.

"I've missed you." Chloe said, and Beca pulled her close to place a kiss on her forehead. Chloe's hand traveled to the back of Beca's neck, and rested their heads together.

"Hmm… I think I missed you more Beale." Beca sighed into whatever space left between them. It was quiet, except for the background noise of the bustling airport. Rare moments like these only come so often for both of them. The way that they seem to move in a rhythm together, in the chaotic world. Beca wishes that they could be like this more often. To just disappear together.

"Not possible," Chloe mumbled. _Oh_ , but it is possible. She's never felt like she missed someone _this_ much in her life. The way that her body magnetises with Chloe's feels as though they're inseparable. She never wants to spend that long of a time without Chloe again.

"Whatever you say… Burrito." Beca pulled back from the hug but still held tightly to Chloe's hands.

"Oh my god. Will you stop calling me burrito?" Was Chloe's reply as she struggled to keep the smile off of her face.

After that they went straight to the hospital and did Chloe's chemo session. Beca was there the whole time beside Chloe, holding her hand, while IVs were pumped inside her. Chloe slept for the most part, and Beca didn't mind. She'd just glad she's with her. Because there's no where else she'd rather be right now.

-Pandas-

As usual Chloe slept in the car-way back and Beca decided not to wait this time. She turned off the car and carried Chloe all the way to her apartment. Chloe didn't wake up at all and Beca was kind of worried about that. They had fallen into the perpetuated reality that Chloe was looking a lot worse than she did better.

In the hospital Dr. Alex pulled her away from Chloe for a while, and had told her to keep an eye out. Her blood count was getting lower, especially her white blood cells. And that didn't sound good at all. Dr. Alex said it was normal. That it was merely a side effect. That it happens all the time to other patients.

They also gave her some more drugs (That Beca thinks she'll never be able to pronounce) plus the chemo. And it made Chloe weaker than before. And according to Dr. Alex, this was all planned out. So why does Beca have this sinking feeling that something's out of place?

Chloe spends the whole day in bed. Beca had attempted to wake her up for dinner, but when Chloe finally woke up, she couldn't even attempt to stay awake for more than a minute. Beca gave up and noted that she'll force Chloe to eat more breakfast tomorrow. But the next day was the same. Chloe had only woken up three times to go to the bathroom and ate little portions of what Beca would give her. Beca was worried now. Dr. Alex did say she'll take longer to recover from this dosage than normal, but was two days not enough?

The third day Chloe had actually woken up and ate the whole portion of breakfast Beca gave her. This boosted Beca's mood slightly, but it was completely ridden when Chloe passed out after a brief shower. It takes her about 4 hours of sleep to be awake for lunch and dinner. Chloe had only spoke minimal conversation with Beca, and Beca is a little worried she'll lose her ability to speak if she doesn't converse with her more.

That night Beca went to bed late after spending time at the couch. She cried. She doesn't know why she's crying, she just feels as though Chloe had just given up to the cancer. And Beca couldn't stand it. She muffled her sobs with the pillow hoping not to wake the redhead, but it was no use anyway. Chloe could sleep through a bomb if she wanted to now. Beca's chest feels as though it's collapsing and breaking away. She's lost count of how many times she felt as if her heart was broken the past month. But now it just constantly hurts.

There are times that Beca would think that it's just easier if she were to disappear. She's not sure if she could take any more of this pain. The way that Chloe would complain about pulsing headaches and disoriented joints, had taken a toll on Beca. Because she just _wishes_ Chloe would get better. For this magically to go away.

There's also dark times that Beca would think it's better off for Chloe to sleep. And not wake up. For it to be easier for everyone if she was gone. Because there are times Beca would hold this grudge to the redhead for causing this much pain in her life.

But then she wakes up the next morning, and when she sees the beautiful blue orbs staring at her. All those dark moments and thoughts are gone. And she curses and beats herself over it many times to even _think_ of thinking about that. Because all she could see in those eyes are the most pure and beautiful eyes anybody ever has. And she can't think of anything else to do, than be beside the redhead. She doesn't want to disappear. She promised she'd stay. And she would.

-Pandas-

"You know, come to think of it, I do look like a giant burrito." Chloe giggled from the other end of the couch.

"See? Also I'm thinking of a little like… Those burritos we order from Chipotle, the ones that has fajitas and stuff. You look like that." Beca explains.

"Wow. First time I've been compared to a burrito. Thanks all-knowing Beca,"

"It's my pleasure."

"Also I miss having burritos. Did you know that actually in Mexico they do not put that much ingredients in burritos unlike us who put like every pleasurable thing inside it. Honestly I would not be surprised if Chipotle introduced like a… Smoothie flavored burrito and people would still buy it and be a hit. Like seriously America industrializes stuff so much thes- Why're you looking at me like that?" Chloe stops.

"Ah… It's just that's the most words you've said to me in the past 3 days. And I didn't know you were so passionate about burritos?" Beca laughed.

"Are you making fun of me Mitchell?" Chloe joked.

"Only if you'd let me," Beca smiled. "And it's cute you're passionate about yourself." Chloe was confused for a second but realizes that's because she's a burrito.

"Haha. I'm not a complete narcissist like you Beca. Seriously how many selfies could one post in snapchat? I'm surprised they haven't banned your face from it yet,"

Beca full laughed at that one and shut her mouth with her hand. "Well I'm sorry if my story doesn't look like a fucking aesthetic tumblr feed like yours do. Some of us actually likes their face." Beca said as she flipped her hair. Chloe laughs at Beca's comment and that results in Beca laughing too.

And this is exactly what Beca wished for. The Chloe she could just hang around with and be normal together. Not sick Chloe, not whiny Chloe, not tired Chloe. Just… Chloe. Beca was sceptical about letting Chloe move to the couch for dinner, she had been up for 6 hours without showing the slight bit tired. Beca was waiting for the moment that her body would collapse but it didn't happen. So Beca was warming up to the idea, and soon they were back to their old ways, joking around, and humourous. She missed this side of Chloe, she didn't see much of it anymore.

Chloe wasn't holding back little pieces of herself together. She felt so open with Beca, like she wants Beca to see everything about her. And that was the immense trust that they had. She's laughing beside her, their eyes twinkling from the lights and their faces shines bright with joy that the other hadn't seen for a while.

And Beca just wants to get lost in the moment right now. Just staring at Chloe's blue eyes that were now filled with happy tears, the way her hands move towards her abdomen to lessen the pain that the laughter brings, the way that her mouth seems to create the cutest grin she'd ever seen, and the way that Chloe's voice doesn't sound like she's related to voldemort. But she'd definitely remembers the way that Chloe's looking at her as if she's a big teddy bear, full of love and tenderness.

-Pandas-

"You know… If it weren't for the fact that I can feel everything in this room, I would've thought that this was a dream," Chloe said as she leaned closer to Beca. Their dinners long finished and now they were just resting on the couch, letting the TV fall into Disney channel where it was playing Lion King.

"Hmm. I wouldn't wish it were a dream. Would you?"

"Nope. This is way better," Chloe replied taking Beca's arm and putting it around her body.

Chloe's head rests on Beca's chest as her whole body pressed up against her. Now usually, Chloe would've drifted off to sleep, but not tonight. Tonight she had an overwhelming surge of energy and feeling of needing to accomplish something. So she focuses her attention to when Simba kills his dad, rather than Beca's soothing heartbeat.

Chloe sighs, "Tonight was amazing Beca. It was the only time in a long time that made me forget I had freaking cancer for more than mere seconds. The only other times are when my mind are fully focused on other things, like laughing at 30 second vids on tumblr or getting lost in a song. Then the feeling just comes back, you know? But when tonight I got that feeling and somehow I forget about cancer for more than just seconds. Thank you."

Beca's heart skips a beat, and she's sure that Chloe notices. And she squeezed Chloe's hand, "Anytime Chlo. I'd love to do it again."

Chloe adjusted her seating position to face Beca. She smiles at her and looks down at her lips for just a second before looking at Beca's eyes again. Chloe's arm maneuvers around Beca's neck to rest against her cheek. She strokes it softly and Beca closes her eyes. When Beca's eyes were closed, all Chloe could do was look at Beca's lips. The way that it's curved into a relaxed smile, and Beca opened her eyes. They touched foreheads and Beca's hands were on Chloe's waist, while hers were on the back of Beca's neck.

It were times like these where Chloe is the most vulnerable to Beca. The only time that she feels the closeness that they had achieved. Where she was comfortable and safe in Beca's arms. Their breaths mixing with each others, and heartbeats felt with each passing second.

The only difference this time was when their lips slightly brush against each other. There wasn't sparks flying or a moment of victory. It just felt… Right. There's a throbbing ache that both of them have to face because of waiting too long to do this. Both release a gasp so small that it goes unheard.

But they didn't stop. They didn't know who closed in the gap first, or if they had met halfway but all they could think right now was the way that each other's mouth seems to be inseparable with each others. They meet with such delicateness and a sense of familiarity. It doesn't feel odd or awkward. And both didn't dare move, afraid to ruin the sense of feeling in their hearts that, that's all it took for it to be repaired.

It also couldn't be helped that 'Can you feel the love tonight?' was playing in the background from the Lion King. And Chloe thinks it's the aca gods that finally noticed them and gave them this chance to finally have this sense of euphoria once in Chloe's predicament.

They didn't take it too far though, and once they had a feeling that they should pull away (because the 3 minute song reminded them how much they'd been kissing); they'd parted.

Neither had opened their eyes yet and when they did they looked at each other with so much love. It was silent for a few seconds before Beca blurted, "This was definitely better than my dreams. I liked it…"

"Yeah… Me too." Chloe mumbled. But then the feeling of happiness suddenly drained and was replaced with the thought that she still had cancer. And Chloe began to tear up as she moved her hands away from Beca's neck and moved away to rest on Beca's chest again.

"But this can't happen Beca. You know that. I know that."

"Then maybe it's a risk I'm willing to take Chlo." Beca said with determination in her voice and also a bit of hope.

"It can't happen." Chloe just repeats not giving an insight on her feelings towards Beca's comment. She feels as though she wants Beca to know that she doesn't want to be responsible when the "time comes". She doesn't want to be that burden for Beca, that she broke her because Chloe let her fall in love with her while she's dying.

"I know." Chloe heard Beca's voice being a little strained. And Beca's heartbeat sped fast, and Chloe knows she's trying hard not to cry. And so is Chloe. Chloe sighed though and whispered one more thing,

"I love you."

"Yea. I love you too." Beca's voice rang through her ears as if it's a melody that can be played. Chloe took her hand and squeezed it and she felt Beca nuzzle into her shoulder just so she can muffle the voice of her soft crying. Chloe won't let herself feel hurt. She couldn't.

They went to the bedroom a little after the movie had ended. They hadn't spoke a single word to each other afraid that they would lose the memory of the way their voices had sounded when they had said what they just said. Chloe climbed into bed and immediately piled herself on top of the many blankets. She swears she could've heard Beca mumble out, "Burrito," But maybe she's just imagining it. Beca didn't hesitate to hold Chloe just like she always does. Even if emotions are surfaced, it doesn't change the fact that Beca and Chloe doesn't want to spend any time apart without the other. They love one another, and it's been established.

But Chloe had this sense of insecurity that the cancer was still overpowering their love. And she thinks that they would have to overcome that feat before moving into anything else.

* * *

A/N: WOOOOO! THEY KISSED! Hahahahah. Finally amirite? Sigh. Yea. I hope that chapter wasn't too emotional :P. Also between writing this chapter I wrote 3 (funny) one shots because writing this was all too much XDD (One which I've posted). Also (not so) fun fact: The family member that I'm basing this on is not doing so good, he's became delirious, blind and he can't move any of his limbs except his mouth and the doctors say he's got about few weeks left. Obviously I won't go to that stage with this story, but you know just putting it out there :P ANYWAYYSS ON A HAPPIER NOTE HAPPPPYYYYY BIIIRRRTTHHHDAAYYYYYY ALEKUROBA! (You guys should thank her cuz she's the one that made me make the kissing scene) Hope you like your birthday present dude! :) And yeaa that's it for this chapter :D.

Of course as usual, Thoughts? Feelings? Constructive criticism? A funny story to cheer me up? Leave all of them in the review thing below. Or in my tumblr, it's the same thing as my username.

 _jalex1: Of course I do, my main goal in life is to make people cry. Haha not really. Hope you like the chapter :)_

 _AleKuroba: HAPPY BIRTHDAY DUDE! Hoped you like this chapter! :) Sorry it doesn't contain much fluff, but I included your story about mangoes XD Just love your short stories all the time and yea... XDD And I'll try to fit in the kissing bruises scene a bit more. ALSO I HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR BECHLOE FILLED BIRTHDAY. THE BEST KIND OF BIRTHDAY THERE IS._

 _Somebody: Is it bad that every time I look at your username I think of the old song, "Somebody that I used to know" And I start humming it for no reason? XD Also I showed your review to at least 3 of my friends. That fact that you're going to kill me with a swivel chair seemed so funny to us XD. Thank you for all the kind words dude! :) *heart emoji* Hope this satisfies your little broken heart.  
_

 _acatrash: Yes it's a part of the cancer treatment T^T Yes I am aware that I'm killing everybody, everyone should just call me a serial killer by the amount of dead people that have come across this fic XD Also hoped you enjoyed the chapter._


	11. Desire to live

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

A/N: Also I know next to nothing about Cancer, I'm basing this off of experience with a family member and wikipedia, so if something's wrong. _Please don't hesitate to tell me._

* * *

 **HOPING FOR TOMORROW**

* * *

Chapter 11: Desire to live

 _After that night, everything seemed to fall back into place. Chloe still spent half of the day on the bed, but at least tries to get up. Beca keeps doing what she can to please her, and take care of her. Even if there's a weight being carried in their hearts, they know it can't happen. So the week flew by fast, and Chloe went to another chemo session on Friday. The only thing different is the face that Dr. Neal pulls when she comes into the room._

* * *

"Chloe. Beca." Dr. Neal said as she came into the room with a bunch of papers in hand.

"Hi Alex," Chloe says, but her smile soon drops as she took in the doctor's features. Her eyes were on the floor, and her shoulders were slumped. Her mouth was curved downwards into a slight frown, and her feet was tapping impatiently on the floor.

"Wha- What is it?" Chloe heard Beca ask from beside her.

"Chloe. It seems that we're going to have to try different options…" Dr. Neal looked up at her. "The chemo… It isn't enough anymore. Your white blood cells are still dropping in a dangerously low level. And if anything it's only making your immune system weaker than it already is."

Chloe felt her stomach drop. And Chloe felt Beca's hand tensed from where she was holding hers. Suddenly Chloe couldn't breathe, it was like all the air was trying to choke her. And when she tried to inhale, it became harder to exhale. Chloe bit the inside of her lip to not allow the tears to fall just yet. She also grabbed Beca's hand for dear life, because she just wants to make sure she's there. That when Beca's there, hopefully she'll be okay.

"Wha- What does it mean?" Chloe asked voice sounding like she's about to cry.

"It means that we're going to have to try other things Chloe. For example, radiotherapy or a transplant. Or both, if you get worse. I suggest you get these tests done tomorrow for me to decide which is best for you. Of course, you would have to agree to them."

"What went wrong Alex?"

"Yea. I'd like to know too. Because she followed all the treatments. She drank the meds. She followed the strict diet. She came in for chemo every week. She followed everything. So why did it go wrong?" Beca huffed out annoyed, and a little sad.

"It's just her body Beca. When you do chemo your body decides if it accepts it or it destroys it. And in Chloe's case, they're destroying it, along with her body as well. There's still a chance of survival, maybe a slight bit more if this plan works." Dr. Neal replied.

"I'll do it. I'll come for the tests tomorrow." Chloe said with no emotion.

"Great. I'll tell Jane to book you one at 2pm. Now if you decide to go with the transplant, we would have to wait for a suitable donor." Dr. Neal explained eyeing Beca. Beca goes wide-eyed, and Chloe notices this.

"Absolutely not Beca." Chloe exclaimed, letting go of her hand.

"What? Why not? I'm healthy. I can go for tests tomorrow too Chlo. And if I'm fitted for it, I'll do it! And I know for a fact that you're blood type is AB plus, and mine is the same. Chloe, if there's a chance I can save you from _this._ I would take it in a heartbeat. And that's what I'm doing now."

"No Beca. Then I won't accept it. Alex can't do anything without my consent, and if I say no. Then she won't do it. Right?" Chloe looks at Dr. Neal.

"She's right Beca. Even if you're a suitable donor for Chloe, which I'm not saying you are yet, without her signing some papers. Then we won't do it. It's against the law."

"Chloe!" Beca shrieked. "I'm trying to help you!"

"No means no Beca! I won't let you." Chloe replied, eyes already filled with tears. She stared at Beca, who had her mouth open and eyes staring at her with so much confusion and a little bit of resentment.

"Guys I don't mean to be rude, but keep your noise level down please." Dr. Neal said as she pointed outside the room. "There are probably other patients trying to sleep."

"Sorry." Chloe muttered while Beca stood up. "Where are you going?"

"Waiting in the car. You have about 10 minutes left anyways," Beca said as she left the room in a hurry.

Chloe fell back on her chair and closed her eyes. Tears were streaming down her face now, and she honestly didn't expect her day to turn out like this. Beca had promised they'd go to Chipotle after this. There was no chance of that happening now.

"You can finish early today Chloe. There's no use for them now anyways. I'll go get Jane to take them out," Dr. Neal said and went towards the door, but stopped. "But Chloe. Let me give you some advice. If you decide that you don't want Beca to do this, the wait list for donors are long. You have a low survival rate for living Chloe. Don't be selfish about your own feelings." Dr. Neal said darkly, before going out and calling Jane.

Chloe sobbed into her hoodie. She wasn't being selfish. She was protecting Beca. She doesn't want Beca to be in danger just so she can save herself. She wants Beca to live happily. And she will be when Chloe's gone right? She'll move on and find someone else and she won't have to worry about Chloe ever again. She won't be a burden anymore in Beca's life.

"Oh sweetie. What happened?" Jane asked as she stepped into the room and saw Chloe's state.

"Al-Alex said the chemo isn't working anymore," Chloe cried.

"I'm so sorry to hear that sweetheart. But don't worry Alex is a great doctor, and I don't doubt that she'll take care of you alright? Now where's that Beca?" Jane asked as she began to attend to Chloe's IVs.

"She left." Chloe choked out. "She promised she won't leave. She promised. But she left anyways." Chloe said in between sobs, as she used her free hand to wipe the tears. Chloe heard Jane sigh, and stand up beside her when she was done treating her.

"Listen Chloe. I get it. I deal with patients here everyday. Seeing their loved ones leave them, isn't a rare occasion. Now you and Beca have a great bond, it's a wonder to me why you guys aren't together. She loves you, I can see it in her eyes. I mean she's willing to put off her career for you Chloe. Most 'best friends' won't do that. Look at the other one, what was her name? Aubrey? Yea. I've only seen her twice, and yet Beca comes here almost every chemo. She loves you and takes care of you. Don't let cancer take over your feelings dear. Cancer doesn't own this lovely body. _You do_." Jane finished as she sympathetically looked at Chloe, and extended her arm for Chloe to take.

Chloe continued to cry and she accepted the help to stand. She hugged Jane really tight and whispered, "She wants to be my donor Jane."

Jane let go of Chloe and looked at her, "I think that's very brave of Beca... I'm not saying you should let her, because there might be a big chance that it won't work." Chloe whimpered when Jane said that.

"But talk things out when your minds are clear. Don't decide now, you have until tomorrow. Make use of that time, okay?"

Chloe nodded and Jane led her out of the room to settle the discharge forms.

-Pandas-

The car ride home was tense. Neither had uttered a single word, and Beca noticed Chloe didn't sleep this time.

When Chloe came into the car, Beca saw that she had been crying. Her eyes were red and there were dried tears on her face. Her shoulders were slumped and she occasionally sniffled. It wasn't in Beca's intention to hurt Chloe. It never is. But how could Chloe be so _unreasonable_ that she was refusing Beca's help?

Beca feels so wrong and out of place right now. Chloe's so quiet, the radio's not even turned on. There's so much pressure weighing on them that it's being so unbearable. Beca huffed out a sigh of relief as she finally parked in Chloe's basement. Chloe immediately went off and shut the car door with a slam. Beca jerked at the noise and hit her head on the steering wheel.

Beca wants nothing more than just to hold Chloe right now. Tell her she's all right, tell her everything's going to be okay. But she can't. She just hopes that Chloe will understand that Beca loves her. She loves her so much and she sees past all broken bodies and failed medicines, that inside is still the heart of Chloe Beale. The person she fell in love with all those years ago.

Beca didn't attempt to move yet and she knows that Chloe probably already went up the elevator. She just wants a moment to compose herself, awaiting the deadly conversation that haunt her since the hospital. Beca wants to be a donor because she can't just sit around all day and wait for the medicine to work anymore. Because it's not fucking working. She feels so _helpless._ And she's so angry that she can't do anymore than what she does now. And when Dr. Alex pointed out that Chloe needs a donor, Beca wanted nothing more than to do it. Because at least she can help Chloe out in more ways than one.

But Chloe _had_ to disagree. She _had_ to be so caring about Beca. And it's all so unfair. Beca finished her thought and punched the steering wheel. She went out of the car moments later, not at all composed. She wasn't going to let Chloe win this fight, she wasn't going to let her talk her out of doing it. She's only doing it for her own good.

So when she burst through the door with force, she wasn't expecting the redhead to immediately jump on her and hug her. With all her thoughts from before blurred, Beca realized what an asshole she's being. She hugged Chloe back and led her towards the couch, where she let Chloe cry onto her shoulder.

It took all of Beca's willpower not to cry to, instead she just held Chloe, silently praying to the aca-gods to stop hurting her. 'Just make it stop. Please' Beca thought. Beca can hear Chloe's strained voice as she sobs and she begins coughing.

"Chlo. Please stop. You and I both know you don't have the energy to cry anymore."

"I can't do it Beca. I can't let you. Please understand that. Please," Chloe begged as she looked at Beca. Beca stared back into her blue eyes, that were filled with tears.

"But Chloe. I want to. I really-" Beca started but got cut off by Chloe.

"No Beca. Please. Just drop it. I won't let you do it. Beca please? Please. I'm begging you." Chloe held Beca's hand tightly as she continued to stare into each others eyes. Beca could say no and do it anyways. Forcing Chloe to take it. But she won't. So she just makes a small noise of agreement and nods.

Chloe's breathing starts to even out and soon her sobs become weak sniffles. Beca just continued to hold her. After her mind is clear, Beca finally realized the situation at hand here. 'Holy shit. Chloe's chemo is not working.' Beca suddenly realized and tensed.

"You know. I thought I was going to be one of the ones that would miraculously heal from chemo alone."

Beca's breath was caught in her throat. And her heartbeat sped faster. Dr. Neal only said they were going to try other stuff, that doesn't mean Chloe's going to die. So why does it feel so true in their heads?

Beca heard Chloe speak again, but this time in a very soft voice. "I think I realized now that I'm probably going to die from this."

"No Chloe don't. We've been over this." Beca finally breathes out. Beca already feels like she's going to faint, or vomit or get swallowed by all the tension in this room.

"It's okay Becs. It probably crossed your mind already." Chloe says as she plays with Beca's hands.

"It did…" Beca hesitantly said. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay."

"I'm so fucking sorry." Beca said as she retrieved her hand and pressed it on her eyes. She feels her throat getting clogged up and she felt very conscious of every breathe she takes. Because if she doesn't, she's afraid she might suffocate.

Beca felt Chloe move from underneath her. She put her head on Beca's lap and stretched out her legs, letting them hang over the edge. Chloe grabbed Beca's hands and tucked it safely under her arms. Beca smiled a little, because even though everything's falling apart. Even though everything's moving too fast. She feels safe knowing Chloe's still here beside her. Knowing she's _alive._

-Pandas-

To say that Chloe's tired is a huge understatement. To say Chloe super fucking tired might be closer to what she's referring to. Because she is. She barely had the energy to get up this morning and get ready for the hospital visit. She fell asleep eating breakfast, taking a shower and in the car as well.

Beca was giving her worried glances continuously. But Chloe shrugged her off. So that's why Chloe's now trying so hard to fight off the sleep begging to get comply to. She would yawn once in a while, but she's trying so hard to keep awake beside Beca. In reality, all her joints ache, she has a pounding headache in the back of head and every step or movement she makes seems to create a pang in that area.

But Chloe's not going to back off now. So she jokes around with Beca in the hospital room, on her bed.

"Hey Becs, what do you think of the new intern? Hot huh?" Chloe said as she wiggled her eyebrows towards the opened door. Revealing the intern she was talking about.

"Cute. But she definitely doesn't belong here."

"Oh really? What makes you say that?"

"Yea, I can tell she's like that girl who secretly is very low-key into sports, but is scared of her parents so she studies to become a doctor. But hates it. Here watch."

Chloe raised her eyebrows as Beca grabs the uneaten apple from her lunch tray. "Yo intern! Think fast."

Before Chloe could tell Beca how crazy she is or pull her hand back, she already threw the apple towards the door. The intern looked around and saw the apple flying, and caught it with her right hand, while the left were still holding test tubes.

"Woah!" The intern exclaimed as she entered the room. "What was that for?"

"No reason. Just felt like throwing an apple." Beca shrugged like it's no big deal as Chloe laughs.

"Well what if I didn't catch it? You would've broken like 23 vials of expensive medicine."

"Yea yea. Well it's a good thing you have fast reflexes right?" Beca winked as the intern flashed a confused look and returned the apple. Then she left the room -closing the door in the process- and Beca turned back to Chloe.

"See. What'd I tell you?" Beca smirked.

"What if you were wrong and it hit the tray instead?"

"Hmm. I'm never wrong Beale."

"Want to test that theory?"

Beca scowled and didn't give an answer. Soon Jane came into the room while she takes blood from Chloe's arm. Beca keeps Chloe entertained and Chloe was laughing while wincing as the needle pokes through her arms. Chloe hopes Beca thinks that Chloe's in a good mood, because it's so hard to do this.

She can't form coherent thoughts anymore, so she just pretends to laugh at Beca's jokes. All her joints are feeling as if they're going to fall apart and every needle Jane pokes in her arms has a huge effect on her. It's as if she can feel the needle pierce all the way to her heart. There's also a constant battle between her stomach and her throat. She's trying to keep all the lunch that the hospital gave her down, but it's becoming harder and harder after each forced laugh.

Chloe knows she doesn't have to do this, but Chloe knows Beca is falling apart. She felt Beca leave the bed in the middle of the night to open the window. Chloe saw Beca stay there for a long time, just crying. Her hands were together and she was occasionally muttering things under her breath. Her head hung low and body half over the window. Chloe wanted to go there, to hug her and console the crying girl. She would've if she had any energy.

Chloe watched her with emphatic eyes the whole time Beca was there. She watches as beca loses herself completely in the night, she saw all the life from Beca's eyes fade slowly. It's come to the point as if Beca can't feel herself anymore. And Chloe hates it.

When Beca finally came back into the bed, Chloe sighed softly. She feels about the same way as Beca. Lifeless. Alone. Struggling. Unsafe. She heard Beca's breathing even out and Chloe too let sleep take her away from the world that seems too unreal to exist.

Therefore right now, Chloe's trying her hardest to get all the life back onto Beca's face. Her bright smile and shine in her eyes are slowly coming back to her every time Chloe laughs. And for that Chloe's happy. But secretly every time Beca goes to the bathroom or get something from the cafe, she asks Jane to spike up the pain relief. It's come to the point that if Beca wasn't around, Chloe can't even feel her body anymore. But if Beca can handle being around her like this, the least she can do is put on a fucking act to make her happy.

-Pandas-

They'd been stuck in the same room for about 8 hours now. Chloe put off the act at around 6 when it was physically impossible for her to do it anymore. She told Beca she would sleep and she woke up an hour later when Jane said they were ready for the biopsy.

And Chloe's _so_ tired. She's been pumped with so many drugs in her system that she feels that if one more goes through, she would die right there. She can hardly see anything from the clouded vision that lack of sleep brings. And everywhere aches. Jane gives her all types of drugs like morphine, codeine and others that she can't even remember.

Chloe remembers her first biopsy from way back. And there's still this dull pain in her chest that still remembers what it feels like. She remembers the pain going on for days. So when the oncology nurse came in the room to tell her that, she just turns to Beca.

"No, please no. Enough for today. Please."

Beca looks at Chloe with a pained expression and runs a hand through Chloe's hair. "Chloe. You have to do this, you already agreed to it. And you can't do the transplant without them seeing it first. You have to do it now Chlo."

Chloe lets out the smallest of whimpers as she held on to Beca's hand weakly, but that was about all the energy she had. "No please Beca. It's going to hurt really bad, and I can't take it. Please Beca. Don't make me. I want to go home." Chloe's voice wavered on the 'home' and her lips began to tremble.

"I know you want to go home Chlo. But you have to do this. I'll be here every step of the way. I'm not leaving. You'll be fine okay?" Beca whispered as she brushed strands of hair away from Chloe's face.

Chloe closes her eyes and a single tear dropped. "Please Beca. This one hurts really bad. I didn't think this through yesterday. I'll come back tomorrow. Please, I'll do it tomorrow. Please. Please Beca." Chloe pleads weakly to Beca, her breath hitching on every word and more tears threatening to fall. She turned to the nurse, "I'll come back tomorrow. I promise. Please don't make me do this now."

"I'm sorry Ms. Beale but you have to do it today. We can increase more dosages of your pain relief or give you medicine to help you sleep?" The nurse replied with a pained voice but still very professional.

"No no no. No more drugs. Just use local anaesthetic." Chloe whispers, shoulders slumping. She already had myriads of IVs and drugs pumped into her, 4 on her left arm and 3 on her right.

"Okay. That's fine. I'll just get the doctor and get ready for the biopsy. It should be over before you know it alright?" The nurse says as she went out of the room to call the doctor on ward.

Beca turns back to Chloe and held her hand. "You're going to be alright." Beca whispers quietly as she kissed Chloe's head.

"Yea. It'll just hurt like a bitch. No biggie." Chloe murmured. Beca laughs lightly at Chloe's choice of words.

"But they're going to put anaesthesia on you now. So it won't hurt as much right?" Beca tried to reason out.

"Hah. I wish. It still hurts. Anaesthesia won't do anything if they're practically sucking out your bones Beca. Unfortunately I can still feel what goes on inside of my body." Chloe said bitterly as she closed her eyes.

"I'm sorry Chlo."

"It's fine." Chloe sighs out as she squeezed Beca's hands to let her know it's truly fine. And that she's very thankful to have Beca here to cheer her up, even though she's acting whiny and like a bitch. She's just so tired and she wants it all to stop. She wishes she could say this to Beca's face but she doesn't have the energy to do it. Even if she attempts to, she's sure that it will come out as one big blob of words.

The doctor entered the room soon and they started immediately.

-Pandas-

Beca couldn't sleep at all last night. She curled up into the small sofa in the room and rocked herself back and forth. All the memories of the biopsy were replaying in her mind on replay. Beca didn't flinch at all when the sun began to rise and sunlight began to drip through the window. Beca's just staring at Chloe's frail body on the hospital beds. Watching as her chest rises up and down, worried if she blinks it would stop.

During the biopsy Chloe would constantly shriek out cries of pain. It still rings in Beca's ears even till now. It would send shivers down beca's spine as Chloe cries out from pain. Beca would try to close her eyes and shut it out but she couldn't. The first time Chloe let it out, Beca wanted to strangle the doctor and pull out the needle from him saying " _STOP! Can't you see this is hurting her?!"_ But she couldn't because this is supposed to heal Chloe. It's supposed to make her feel better. It will. It would… It might…

But that's the only thing that Beca's relying on. That small chance of hope that maybe this would work. Just maybe. When they were done Beca sat beside Chloe comforting her, telling her all sorts of lies, that even Beca doesn't believe is true. But if it helps Chloe feed the desire to live, then Beca would do it.

That night Beca also tried to pray to the aca-gods. She wanted for Chloe's pain to be over, or for Chloe to get better. Because frankly anything than this will do. Beca hopes and begs for Chloe to keep on fighting. To still have that burning desire to live. Because Beca doesn't know what to do with herself if Chloe gives up.

Beca stands up and moves towards Chloe. Her pale skin as fragile as ever. There were streaks of yellow and gold as the light flashes onto her body. Beca can't help but think that if things do get better, if Chloe do survive she won't waste another second to start the future that she wants. That she deserves.

A future that doesn't seem gleam and is filled with happiness. The very reminiscent of Chloe Beale. And if Chloe's lost the light that filled her body all those years ago, Beca would do everything in her nature to bring it back.

Beca smiles weakly as she takes Chloe's hand in hers. She just wants her Chloe back.

She needs her.

* * *

A/N: Hnnnnnggggghh. Why did this chapter almost make me cry? Can you guys _imagine_ Chloe Beale screaming out in pain though. Like seriously, imagining it sends shivers down my spine. Anyways yea shit's getting real :P. And you guys thanks so much for following/favoriting/reviewing on this story. It honestly means so much to me. Like I purposely always post it on 3am at night (my time) and wake up like 4-6 hours later with a smile on my face due to all you guys' reviews or favourites or follows. It's a good way to start my day happily :D Also my uncle, the one who has this cancer, isn't going to make it. There's like a 99.99% chance he'll live, he's practically living on a machine that pumps the oxygen to his heart for him. _Sigh._ (Why am I so depressing?) ANYWAYS HAVE YOU GUYS CHECKED OUT MY SHORT FIC? It's called Not So Secretive. I wanted to write something funny-ish in between writing all this sad stuff, so yea :). That's all for now. As alwaysss, Thoughts? Feelings? Constructive Criticism? A random thing you want to know about me? Leave all of them in the review thing below. Or in my tumblr, it's the same thing as my username.

(PS: Don't be afraid to say hi to me or something in PM or in my ask box, I love making new fwends :D Also because I can't stand having to wait 3-4 days replying to you guys. The only thing that fires me up sometimes to write is the idea that I can reply to you peopleee :))

 _jalex1: Hahaha I hope everytime you see a burrito you get reminded of Chloe. XD And yayy they kissed :))_

 _blurtopia: You're not demanding, it's okay :D Reviews like that don't annoy me, it gets me pumped up to write ^^ And thank you so much! (Also for the PM ;) You're awesome) *heart emoji*_

 _AleKuroba: HOPE YOU'RE HAVING FUN IN LA WITHOUT ME T^T And also I've got a plan for that sex idea ;)) And yea it'll take like a miracle to cure my uncle. And I'm hanging on to that hope :/ AND YOU'RE WELCOMEE. I love giving you your presents! *heart emoji* I'm glad you really enjoyed the chapter, I'll try to sneak in your crazy stories as much in this story as possible. ;) *hugs*_

 _MissCuddless: You're beautiful. *hugs*_

 _Somebody: No don't sleep. Join me in my quest of staying awake until the wee hours of the morning. And I agree swivel chairs are very dangerous. I also told my friends you said hi, and they agreed to help you kill me if I kill Chloe. (Thank you for turning my friends against me :C) Haha is your broken heart broken again now? XDD And in all seriousness thank you so much for all the kind words dude *hugs* *heart emoji*_

 _Gues with a T: Thanks so much :)_

 _BrittanaSendrick47: When you changed your username I immediately thought I missed one of my reviewers and I noticed it was you XD Aww don't cry in the bathroom, I'll comfort youuu *hugs* :) And yes thank you for implying that I have a feels shotgun. Because I do. And I shoot people multiple times with it every chapter XDD_


	12. Love heals all wounds

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

A/N: Also I know next to nothing about Cancer, I'm basing this off of experience with a family member and wikipedia, so if something's wrong. _Please don't hesitate to tell me._

* * *

 **HOPING FOR TOMORROW**

* * *

Chapter 12: Love heals all wounds

 _Chloe can't stand it. She can't stand watching the walls in her bleary apartment anymore, she can't stand sitting still and watching TV every single day. It's all becoming too much, instead of the welcoming feeling of a home, she's greeted with a confiding feeling of a jail cell. And she's tired, everything in her body seems to be pulsing, causing it to ache. That's when she decides that in the brisk mornings where it was still cold, Chloe would walk. She would let the cold air of the night, freeze her body for a while so it would numb her pain. She'd become so accustomed to everything lately, how the trees sway only to the right, how the pavement seems to grow smaller with every step she takes, the sound of the air in the morning, just everything. It's very familiar. She wonders if she would ever see these things again, in the afterlife…_

* * *

It was 5:48am in the morning and Chloe was awake. She would be woken up by the sheer pain in her body, and that's when she decides that it's time for a walk. She'd done this for almost the whole week now. Leave without telling Beca, come back before Beca wakes up and she'd never have to know about it. So she leaves. She leaves the apartment, walking the oh-so familiar streets.

When she reached the point that she gotten yesterday, she would walk a little further, accomplishing little by little everyday. She passed some houses, and she would wonder what happy family lives there. It has become a little game for her really, so she wouldn't focus on how her body seems to be freezing after each minute. But it was all she could do to numb the pain. The pain that she experienced in the hospital was still there, she would get nightmares about it and there was still a dull ache where the needles pierced her skin.

Chloe can't ignore the fact that soon enough she won't be able to do this. She won't be able to _be_ anymore. Every morning it's becoming harder for her to breathe, for her to just remember how to function properly. Sometimes Chloe's found herself lost, just staring at walls, not breathing. And when she breaks out of it, she's scared. Was that how it feels like to die?

And Chloe's constantly so damn _tired._ She keeps repeating that word, it's on replay on the back of her head and there isn't a time that she doesn't feel like that. But she's afraid that Beca won't take her seriously if she keeps saying she's tired, because now it's just a worn out word in her brain.

Honestly Chloe thought that she would be one of those cancer patients that were going to donate to fundraisers, raising kickstarters or travelling all over the world to achieve their dreams. And then survive it. But almost two-three months into this, Chloe already feels like she's dead. She wants to be happy. She _wants_ to be the Chloe Beale that everyone knew, the one that wasn't afraid of personal space, the happy, bubbly Chloe who would radiate sunshine from her own body. But now, everywhere she goes, she feels like she's bringing death behind her back.

Because Chloe feels so tied down. She hoped that she would fight cancer with a positive attitude like all those other patients from youtube or tv shows. But she fucking _can't._ She can't even grasp that the last months even happened, she wishes it was all a dream, that she would wake up at the middle of March and teach every weekday. When it all felt normal. And fine.

If she couldn't get up from her bed in the morning without taking at least 70% of her energy, then she doesn't have the energy to try and fight this with a fucking positive attitude. And honestly she saw how all of those people in Youtube were okay with it, and were so open about their sickness. That made Chloe want to live. Want to survive. So so badly. That everyday when she wakes up she tries. She tries to make her day useful, because these were probably the last days of her life.

She tries so hard. To live. To be. She wants to scream to Beca that she's fucking trying. She hasn't given up. And all those treatments that's supposed to bring her up is the only thing pulling her down.

So Chloe walks. She walks the infamous roads of LA, just thinking about all these things. But this morning's a little different, there was an added weight in her chest when the hospital called last night. Jane had told Chloe that if she doesn't want Beca to be a donor, then were no viable options left than to wait. Chloe had asked if other treatments were possible but they said it would probably be months until the next opening, and Jane said that she didn't have months to spare. So they're going to increase her dosages, and adding more drugs into her system, because that' the only thing she could do right now. Jane said that Alex gave her a week to recover from her previous biopsy, and she's grateful for that.

When Chloe told Beca what Jane had said, Beca looked sad. Chloe knew that in the back of Beca's mind, she wanted to yell to Chloe that she _has_ to let her be a donor. And she admires Beca's restraints to do so, and the same for Beca respecting her decision. She just hopes that it's the right decision. This transplant was Chloe's last resort. Chemo wasn't working anymore, Radiation isn't an option. So this is Chloe's chance to live. Her only chance to live.

Chloe glanced up and saw the unfamiliar street name at the top of the sign. She didn't know she'd walk this far. She had passed this turn when she's going to school, but paid no attention to it. And suddenly when she looked back at how far she walked, she couldn't even see her apartment anymore. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice that the sun is also rising.

Chloe began to tremble, and her legs shook. She didn't know where she was, all she knows it that she wants Beca here. To be walking beside her. To let her body love her like she knows she wants to. She want to be able to kiss Beca, to hold her, to call Beca _hers_ \- even if it's for a short period of time. She wants to be able to go to wherever dead people go and look back and pridefully say, "Yea. Beca was mine in a previous life."

 _But she can't._

And so Chloe stood there in the middle of a crossroad in between two streets, not knowing where to go. Suddenly she felt the urge to cry, she didn't bring her cell phone, or wallet, she didn't even wear shoes, she had on slippers. And she was so tired of walking here that she can't walk back. She can't bring herself to take a step knowing she would fall. Chloe guesses it's a little over 7am and she'd been walking for an hour.

And then she hears a voice, a voice that seems very familiar. It was calling her name, wait no, it was calling,

"Ms. Beale?!"

Chloe turned around slowly and saw that her four beloved students were all in Eddie's old car, with Eddie driving. He immediately stopped by the side and motioned for her to come over, and with all her energy, Chloe walked, or more like limped, her way to the car.

"Ms. Beale. Oh my God. What were you doing?" Hannah said as she helped her up to the car.

"I took a walk from my apartment," Chloe replied trying to keep a straight voice.

"From your apartment? Isn't that like all the way up there? That's like a fifteen minute drive from here and you walked?!" Hannah squeaked out. And Chloe nodded.

"Well we're going to take you home okay?" Jade asked, and Chloe nodded again.

"So. How've you been Ms. Beale?"

"Fine," Chloe mumbled.

It was silent for a while before Connor spoke, "You look like really sick."

And that was all it took for Chloe to let the tears fall. She muttered, "I know." Then cried into her hoodie. "I'm sorry you guys have to see me like this."

"We're just lucky that we took this way and saw you," Eddie said.

Chloe scoffed when she realized how ridiculous this situation is. She was being driven by her students to her house because she didn't have energy to walk back.

"Doesn't school start in 10 minutes?" Chloe asked softly.

"Yes. But we'd rather get detention than leave you there Ms. Beale." Hannah spoke, and Jade nodded agreeingly.

"You're not going to make it are you?" Connor asked and that resulted in multiple hits from his friends.

"To be honest Con. I don't know." Chloe's voice kept cracking and she hates it, there are still also tears slipping down her face. All of them looked towards her and gave sad looks.

"Everyone misses you. The new homeroom teacher tries to keep us entertained, he's kind of like you. The other students who don't know you thinks he's really funny, but not to us. He just reminds us that we lost the most amazing teacher in the world." Hannah said.

"I'm so sorry guys. I thought I would be back, but I don't think it's possible. My treatments are failing and I can't find a suitable donor for my transplant." Chloe lies a bit, not wanting to bring up Beca.

"It's not your fault." Connor mumbled.

Then they all stayed silent until they reached Chloe's apartment. They dropped her off and Chloe hurried them to leave to at least make it to first period.

"Bye Ms. Beale! Keep fighting. We love you." Hannah waved good-bye. And in the distance she could see Connor mouthed the word, 'Bye'. As if this was the last encounter that they would meet her.

-Pandas-

"Where have you been?!" Beca exclaimed once she got to her apartment.

"I took a walk. Couldn't get back 'cause I was tired and lost. Hannah, Eddie, Connor and Jade found me and drove me back." Chloe mumbled tiredly.

"Why the hell did you not take your phone? Or _tell_ me that you were going for a walk! Seriously Chloe! What if they didn't find you?"

"Look I'm sorry. I'm not going to take walks anymore okay? I realized what I did was wrong, it won't be repeated," Chloe said and made her way toward her bedroom. She shut her door, leaving a very confused and frustrated Beca behind. Beca huffed out disbelievingly and went to make breakfast.

She can already tell that this wasn't going to be a good day.

-Pandas-

Beca was right. Chloe didn't leave her room at any point of the day and just sulked in her bed, rotating between sleep and playing with her phone. Beca didn't bring up what happened, knowing Chloe would get upset. And Beca didn't want Chloe to be upset.

At some time in the late afternoon, Beca got a call from Stacie and she quickly cursed remembering what day it was.

"Hey Stace," Beca said awkwardly. "Beautiful day today huh?"

"Cut the shit Beca. Did you forget my birthday?" Beca heard over the phone. And Beca winced hearing the pain in Stacie's voice.

"Well… You see… Yea I did forget. Sorry dude. Happy Birthday though."

"It's fine. But seeing as you forgot, I'm going to have to force you to go to my party tomorrow night. I made it tomorrow night 'cause some of my work friends are busy tonight. All the Bellas are coming and some of my other friends. Chloe already agreed that she would come." Stacie explained and Beca was surprised by this information.

"Wait. Chloe agreed? Are you sure?"

"Yea dude. I texted her not long ago, and she said she'll be there."

"Oh okay. Hey, I have to go Stace. I'll call you later, or see you tomorrow." Beca hurriedly hung up when Stacie said her good-bye's as well.

Beca went to Chloe's room and found all the curtains shut leaving almost no sunlight in the room, and the only light was coming from Chloe's phone where Beca could visibly see her watching something in Youtube.

"Chlo?" Beca called. Chloe hummed in response.

"Did you agree to go to Stacie's party? You know you don't have to right? Like _all_ the Bellas are going to be there and there's probably going to be a lot of drinking and-"

"I'm tired of hiding it Beca. I just want to get it over with." Chloe replied dully.

"Oh okay then… I'll umm… I'll just cook dinner…" Beca awkwardly said as she tiptoed out of the room.

Beca made some soup for the both of them and called Chloe out to eat in the living room. Chloe plopped on the couch beside her and stared blankly at the TV. Beca put the soup in front of her on the coffee table but Chloe wouldn't take it.

Beca took the bowl and waved it in front of her face, "Chloe…" Beca whispered.

Chloe looked at her and then Beca could only see how different Chloe looks today. Her eyes were swollen, her lips were dry and she was unusually pale. But there was something that caught Beca's attention. Chloe's eyes were no longer blue- _blue_ it was just blue, it didn't have any life behind them. She looked pretty lifeless.

Beca doesn't know what to do. She doesn't like it when Chloe's reserved and distant, which is exactly what she's doing now. She doesn't know what to do when Chloe's lost in her thoughts, letting the sickness infiltrate her mind. So she just waves the bowl, hoping to get her attention.

"I'm not hungry." Chloe mumbled, barely making an effort to enunciate correctly.

Beca knows she didn't eat anything except for a slice of bread today, and she doesn't want to cause another scene, so she keeps her tone light, "Please try some Chlo…"

Chloe turns her head towards her this time, "I said I'm not fucking hungry Beca."

Beca sighed, "Eat it Chloe." She said firmly, but not too forceful that Chloe would get the wrong idea. She just didn't want Chloe to starve to dea- to starve.

"If I don't want it. Then I don't fucking want it Beca." Chloe's voice rose a little, and Beca could practically feel the frustration Chloe was seething.

"Ughh. Chloe. You're acting immature. Just take some." Beca groaned and saw that Chloe was trying hard not to yell at her.

"I don't care what you think I act like. If I don't want the soup then I don't want it! What are you going to do? Force feed me?"

"I just might." Beca whispered as she rolled her eyes and put down the bowl on the coffee table with a little too much force, causing the redhead to startle.

"Jesus Christ. _Help me._ " Beca sighed.

She ran her hand through her hair and clenches her eyes shut. She refuse to cry over something so stupid as soup. Beca opened her eyes to see Chloe trembling. Beca's lost count on how many times that this situation happened. And she's so fucking tired of it.

"I'm sorry." Chloe said.

"You're always sorry." Beca falls back onto the couch. She can't bring herself to say 'It's alright' because every time Chloe makes her feel like shit, her whole world comes crashing down.

"I'm very sorry." Chloe repeated again and moved her body so that she was facing Beca. Beca just slumped down on her chair more and began to massage circles on her forehead, foreseeing the headache that's bound to happen in the mere minutes coming.

Chloe's voice got slightly higher, "Answer me please?"

Beca just looked at her, and she wants to say something but her voice is stuck in her throat. It's like she can't speak. So she reaches for Chloe's hand and squeezed it, she also gave a small smile. Beca saw Chloe biting her lip as if not knowing what to do, and she put her head down. Then she started saying, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." And she keeps repeating it.

Beca just keeps smiling and squeezing Chloe's hand, because even though she can't say 'It's okay.', even though she can't say 'It's alright,'. At least Chloe will know she's here. Beca then pulled Chloe to her by her hand and Chloe fit right into the small space on Beca's body. Chloe keeps muttering a series of 'I'm sorry's and Beca won't stop her. She just pressed a light kiss on her forehead and hugged her really tightly.

They lie like that for a long time and Beca wonders if Chloe's fallen asleep. She stopped saying the sorry's a while ago and she started playing with Beca's hands instead, but that too stopped.

And in the intangible silence, Chloe asked, "I'll have some soup now…"

Beca laughs lightly and she felt Chloe smile from her chest. "Do you want some soup or do you feel bad for me?"

"Both… But leaning more towards hungry,"

Beca shifts them into a seating position and took the soup from the coffee table. She waves them in front of Chloe with a small mischievous smile on her face. Chloe took it and Beca realized how close to Chloe she was. Chloe's focus was on her soup, and Beca took this opportunity to lean in. She ducked her head to match Chloe's and pecked a small kiss on Chloe's lips. Chloe gasped in surprise, and there was a moment where they stare at each other, wondering whether they should continue or not.

"I uh… I wasn't thinking. You just looked cute and beautiful and it just felt right… You know? Just… Just forget about it." Beca rambled as she stood up.

"Where are you going?" Chloe asked. Beca mimicked a drinking action and got some water from the fridge. She came back and Chloe stared at her.

"What?" Beca asked as she sat back down where she sat before.

"This." Before Beca could react she felt Chloe's lips on hers again and she kissed back. And Beca's heart felt giddy again.

Chloe moved away and smiled at Beca. "It feels right you know?"

"Oh trust me. I _know_." Beca scoffed as she took a gulp of her drink. They meet each other's eyes again and Beca breathes out a joke.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." Adding a wink for measure. Chloe laughs at that and Beca thinks it's nice to see Chloe smile without having to force it.

-Pandas-

Beca's a little bit worried for this party. Chloe insisted that she can go, she didn't have chemo this week but had one next Wednesday, which was 4 days from now.

Beca had tried all measures to make Chloe rethink her decision but when she saw Chloe getting upset or annoyed she quickly stopped, not wanting to repeat the same fight all over again. And again.

Honestly, one part of Beca is happy that she's finally going to have fun and tell all the other Bellas what's been happening. Because that's a brave thing to do. So she tries to overpower all the other emotions she's feeling so that this one stands out.

So Beca waits on the couch, as Chloe finished up whatever she needs to do. And when Chloe came out, Beca's jaw drops.

"You look beautiful Chlo." Beca breathed out. She admired the way that Chloe tried to cover up the bruises, but it was still visibly apparent. Chloe wore some skinny jeans and a striped top, then a cargo jacket incase it gets chilly. Normally Beca wouldn't have bat an eye when Chloe dressed like this, but all she's been seeing Chloe wear was sweatpants and hoodies. So seeing Chloe in her old clothes, was already a surprise for Beca.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better, I mean look at me. I have bruises everywhere. I'm left with my short hair. And these bags under my eyes won't go away, no matter how much make up I put on." Chloe huffed.

"You're beautiful." Beca repeated moving closer to Chloe. She wrapped her arms around her waist and took Chloe's arms. Beca resisted a bit to kiss her bruises but when a small frown came over Chloe's face, Beca makes it her mission to make her happy. They already said yesterday that it felt right, so Beca has no shame.

Beca began to kiss the bruises on her hand one by one. And Chloe smiled as she embraced Beca's touch. Beca got to her neck and kissed the bruises that were showing there, and slowly moved down to her collarbone.

"Beca... We're going to be late for Stacie's party." Chloe sighed.

Chloe felt Beca stop and look into her eyes. "Even with all these bruises Chlo. You're beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you different. Especially tonight. Okay?"

"Okay." Chloe smiled. Beca put her cold hand inside Chloe's shirt, and onto her back. She didn't do anything special, she just wanted to test around for a bit. And when Chloe didn't move Beca retrieved her hand, taking in Chloe's instead.

Chloe ran her thumb across Beca's hands and toys with her fingers. "I'm a really lucky person you know," Chloe said.

And Beca flashed a confused face for a moment because she wouldn't call Chloe's situation _lucky._ She guessed that Chloe noticed that slip up and quickly corrects herself, "What I mean is… I'm lucky to have you. Here. With me."

And now Beca gets it. Then she smiles and took in a long breath, "Well I'm not going anywhere Chloe. You're practically stuck with me,"

"I know. I wouldn't have it any other way." Chloe sounds so grateful, and Beca just squeezed her hands tighter.

"Good."

"So does that mean?..." Chloe trailed.

"Let's not worry about what it means… We've been letting reality get to us, so _this_ can mean whatever we want it to mean okay?"

"Okay." Chloe grinned and Beca smiled back.

Both of them then walked, hands intertwined, to the car. They didn't speak to each other, afraid that they'll break the level of intimacy they had right now. But after a while when Beca was driving Chloe spoke,

"So what did you get Ms. Conrad for her birthday?" Chloe asked playfully.

"Oh shit! We were supposed to bring gifts?" Beca asked worriedly.

"I don't know, I'm just going to send her an Itunes gift card or something." Chloe shrugged. Beca groaned and hit her head back on the head rest.

"I already forgot her birthday. Now I don't have anything to give her. She's going to kill me isn't she?"

Chloe giggled, "Probably."

"Can I get in on yours?" Beca asked and Chloe shook her head.

"You aren't fair Beale. We're supposed to do stuff together now."

"You wish Mitchell." Chloe scoffed.

Beca tries to look hurt but honestly she's feeling very happy and warm inside. When Beca stopped for a red light, she looked at Chloe and took her hand. This feels so easy and right. Why didn't she consider this sooner?

* * *

A/N: Yeayy more fluffy cute scenes. And when fluffy cute scenes come... That means next chapter is going to be filled with so much angst and hurt it's not even funny. So yea! I hope you liked the chapter. Sorry it's a short one cuz I don't know how to write fluff. I'm better at breaking hearts XD But next one's going to be longer!

Thanks so much guys for the immense support of this story, I just want to say a little bit that I got this inspiration to write this from my uncle. Which I have mentioned before, I've watched him go through this stage by stage and also his family as well. And it broke my heart to see him this way, and today's actually his birthday, and he's spending it unconscious and lifeless in his deathbed. So yea.

AND ON A LIGHTER NOTE! Have you guys checked out my other short story? Not So Secretive? If you haven't, go do so! It contains no heartbreaks. (I know. Very surprising right?) And yea that's all for now, as always! Thoughts? Feelings? Constructive Criticism? Want to tell me your favourite line from this chapter/any chapter? Leave them all in the review thing below. Or in my tumblr, it's the same thing as my username.

 _MissCuddless: Aww you're sweet too :) And thanks, I tried to make the chapter very sad XD And please dont cryyy, to make you feel better, here have some digital candy *gives you sweets cuz you're sweet*_

 _jalex1: Aww! Don't cry at workk XD Here have some tissues. Hope this chapter fixed your broken heart. *heart emoji* :)_

 _AnonymousPPBC: Herrooo, how are you? :D_

 _BritannaSendrick47: Hahah thanks so very much! :) And I had to re-read your message like 3 times before I realized the Ariel reference XDD Hope you liked the chapter! :D_

 _CapAmerica21: Aww thanks so much! You don't know how much that means to me *heart emoji* :')_

 _Rumbelleforever64: I'm sorry! *bandages it up* I hope that it means in a good wayy! :)_

 _Somebody: Phew! Where do I begin with you? XDD If you're not on guest, I would've PM'd you already, I like consider you one of my mutuals/friends. I also lost it at Chloe's screams, like WHO WOULD DO THAT TO POOR CHLOE? (I do apparently) And yea my family's pretty much lost all hope for him :/ But thanks so much for your concern *heart emoji* And thank you like so much! Hope you enjoy the chapter! :) (Also, if you have tumblr, I would like to stalk you.) See ya! *runs away in a swivel chair*_

 _AleKuroba: Yes black is my favourite color. It's the color of my heartless soul XD I think I'm addicted to your short stories man. For that I will write you one._

 _"Once upon a time. In a land far far far FAR away. There lived a bear. The bear then ate some berries from a tree. And he died from fruit poisoning. THE END."_

 _And yea Chloe is the perfect womann, but she does have cancer so :P Haha I'm gonna prepare myself for all the laughter. And thanks so much for everything *hugs* ;)_

 _xcombixgirlx: Aww thank you! You're very sweet :) I hope everything's swell in your life and I don't think I will let Chloe die, I haven't decided :)_


	13. Til Death Do Us Part

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

A/N: Also I know next to nothing about Cancer, I'm basing this off of experience with a family member and wikipedia, so if something's wrong. _Please don't hesitate to tell me._

* * *

 **HOPING FOR TOMORROW**

* * *

Chapter 13: 'Til Death Do Us Part

 _If Chloe Beale said she wasn't scared right now. She would be lying. Because she's about to go meet her friends and telling them what's been eating her alive for months. Beca and her are outside of Stacie's house, and from here they could already hear the pounding music from inside. Chloe did not think this through. But if she isn't ready now, she's not sure if she ever will be._

* * *

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Beca asked from beside her.

"Yea. It's now or never right?" Chloe attempted a smile.

Beca took her hand and squeezed it, "You got this. I'm right here with you,"

They knocked on Stacie's house and they waited for a little while, then Stacie opened the door with a big grin on her face. But that disappeared when she saw Chloe,

"Hey guys, welcome! Good to see you… Uhh, come in," Stacie smiled slightly with confusion written all over her face. Chloe walked into her house and she was immediately greeted with stares, so far no Bellas though.

Chloe watched Beca take Stacie's hand beckoning her to go to her level. She then whispered something in Stacie's ear and Stacie nodded, running along. Beca then came over Chloe and took her hand, she led her to Stacie's room and sat down on the bed.

"Becs, what if they react badly?" Chloe asked.

"They won't. They're our friends Chlo. Our best friends, I'll assure you that they will understand. If not then I don't think I really know them that well now…" Beca comforted, squeezing Chloe's hand.

"Do you know if Bree will come?"

"I think she's out of town? I don't know though…" Beca replied. Chloe nodded and rested her head on Beca's shoulder. They could hear footsteps from outside the room and Chloe knew it's time.

"Yo yo yo…" Fat Amy started to greet but then faded off when she locked eyes with Chloe. The Bellas then all came in one by one, but no sight of Aubrey, or Lilly, though no one's really seen her after they left Barden.

"Hey guys, long time no see," Chloe smiled and stood up. She swore that everyone took a little step back from her, but didn't dwell much on it.

"Umm, no offense Red. But what happened to you? Last time I saw you at the airport, you looked fine…" CR asked eyeing Chloe up and down.

"I'm just going to break it down to you, the reason I've been quite illusive these past few months is because I have Cancer." Chloe said straightforwardly.

There was dead silence in the room.

"What!?" Stacie shrieked. "Oh honey I'm so sorry! Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Stacie asked, reaching out to give Chloe a hug. And every other Bella murmured stuff too, while hugging or patting Chloe on the back one by one.

"I didn't know how…" Chloe looked to the floor. "I mean it's hard you know…"

"Yea, I'm so sorry Chlo." Stacie comforted. The rest agreeing.

"I'm sorry too," Chloe hid her face in her hands. Stacie took her hands away and shook her head, "What on earth are you sorry for Beale? You have nothing to be sorry about."

"I don't know, I've been a pretty shit friend I guess… You guys called and texted me, but I haven't replied to any of them, and I just feel really bad…"

"Mm nope. We refuse Red. We just did that to make sure you're okay. And now we know why. If you need anything tell me okay? Or tell us from now on?" Cynthia-Rose asked, and Chloe nodded.

"We love you Red." Fat Amy giggled. "You're still Chloe to us,"

Chloe could only nod and give them all a big hug again, "Thank you guys so much. And Stace, I'm sorry I interrupted your birthday party. You can go and have fun now,"

"Haha it's okay Beale, feel better okay? Catch ya guys later!" Stacie sauntered off. And soon it was Beca and Chloe in the room again.

"Well that went well." Beca stood up.

"Yeah, really well." Chloe faced Beca.

"Hmm, I told you they would understand." Beca smirked, taking Chloe's hand and leading her out of the room.

"Get that smug look out your face Mitchell."

-Pandas-

The party's pretty much been like any other party. Chloe wouldn't stop getting the weird looks from strangers she doesn't know. She chose to ignore them. There were some people she knew though, apart from the Bellas. And they all said the same things, 'Keep Strong!' 'I know a lot of people who've survived Cancer.' 'Don't worry!' Chloe just tried to smile and walk away.

Beca's been by her side the whole time, hands never leaving Chloe's body. Either intertwined with hers, on her back or on her waist. Chloe could feel Beca's touch tightening every time someone said a comment like that, maybe because it's been the complete opposite, or because she's the only one who's seen Chloe deteriorate day by day.

At one point of the party, it was just Beca and Chloe sitting on Stacie's sofa. Chilling. Chloe's head was on Beca's shoulders and she was playing with Chloe's fingers. Chloe craves touches like these, initiated or not, it proves that Beca's still here. And she feels so comforted just by the fact she's here. Chloe feels her eyes getting heavier, two hours of being here and _trying_ to socialise has taken it's toll on her. Eventually Chloe doesn't respond to Beca's touch and just stays there, letting Beca put her fingers in shapes.

"Chloe?" Beca said.

"Hmm?"

"You look really good tonight," Beca whispers to her ears. Chloe could feel the shivers that ran through her spine when she heard that, and immediately blushes.

"Th-Thanks… You too. So uhh…" Chloe clears her throat. "You having a good time?"

"Yea, it's pretty good, you?"

Chloe shrugs her shoulders and removes herself from Beca's shoulder to lay it back on the couch. She closes her eyes for a moment and then looked at Beca. Her face is filled with concern and regret,

"But I'm glad you're having a good time. You should deserve a break," Chloe covered up with a smile.

Beca's half smiled at her and moves so that her head is now resting on Chloe's shoulder, and her hand moves up Chloe's thigh. Both didn't miss the small intake of breath Chloe took when Beca did so though. Chloe blushes and looks straight ahead. 'Keep it together Beale! She's a solid 5-6 inches away.' Chloe thought.

"Hmm since when did Beca Mitchell get so affectionate and cute?" Chloe tried to be smooth. Beca gasped and pulled away in a mocked hurt face.

"I am not cute. You take that back Beale."

"No. Everything about you is cute. Your smile, the way you walk, and everything else," Chloe put out her tongue. Beca laughed and grinned at Chloe,

"Well you're pretty cute yourself Red. You and 'everything else'," Beca air quoted. Chloe lightly slapped her and let her hand rest on Beca's thigh, dropping her head on her shoulder again. They sighed in content and Beca played with her hand again.

"Can I get a drink? Like only one or two. I won't get drunk, I promise." Beca asked quietly.

"Yea sure Becs. Did you really withheld your drinking because of me?" Chloe asked propping her chin up on her shoulder so that they were facing each other.

"Yea… I didn't want to do anything you wouldn't want me to do."

"Aww Beca. Go! It's okay," Chloe smiled getting off of her.

"Are you sure? It'll only be a while, then I'll come back. I promise." Beca smiled.

"Yea Becs, go!"

"Okay, be back soon!"

Chloe nodded and watched as Beca went off to go get a drink and mingle. She didn't mind that she's being alone for a while.

-Pandas-

Okay. Maybe she minds a little. Chloe had been separated from Beca after she went to get a drink for over an hour ago. She was now outside in Stacie's backyard, swinging on Stacie's porch swing.

The air outside is much clearer than the inside, it's not filled with the smell of alcohol that she can't drink, or the noise of conversations that she can't join in, or the friends that she can't seem to be able to find a connection with again.

Chloe hears shuffling of doors and feet behind her, Beca smiled and sat down beside her. Chloe took the opportunity to rest her head on Beca's chest, and her whole body on Beca's side. Chloe felt Beca's hands around her and instantly she felt warmer.

"You alright Chlo?" Beca asks sounding a little bit drunker than she did when she left her.

"I'm fine, it was just a little crowded inside,"

Beca nods and asks again, "Did you have an okay time tonight?"

"I guess. I mean I know the Bellas would understand, but I tried talking to them just now, and they can't seem to talk normally with me anymore." Chloe murmured sadly. Beca ran her hands up and down Chloe's arms, "Hey it'll take time to get used to, remember how I was?"

"Yea, I'm glad they stayed and didn't run away," Chloe starts to play with Beca's other hand and drawing patterns on it. There was a particularly loud scream by Amy, indicating that it's nearing midnight, from inside the house and they both chuckled.

"Typical Amy." Beca shook her head. "It's actually quite late, do you want to head home?" Beca asked.

"No, let's just stay for a while," Chloe said quietly not attempting to move at all.

"Do you want to go in and join in everyone else then?" Beca asked again. Chloe just shook her head and repositioned themselves. She moved her head to Beca's lap and put her feet over the edge so it was dangling over it. Beca giggled,

"Comfortable Red?" She asked playfully as she brushed strands of thin hair away from Chloe's hair, as Chloe closed her eyes and did a weak nod. Beca started to push the porch swing harder and Chloe started to feel dizzy,

"Becs, I'm dizzy. Can you not swing it so hard?"

"Oh yea, sorry. But are you okay? Like are you sure the dizziness was from the swing? We cou-"

"Becs. I'm fine, honestly. God you're more talkative when you're drunk," Chloe opened her eyes and put her hand to Beca's cheeks. Beca connected their hands, and smiled contently. And for a moment they just stare at each other, patterns caressed on their hand and cheek. All of it feels so right. So unrealistically right.

Both of them flinched when Amy's voice could be heard from inside again, "All right bitches! Find a partner and find your self-esteem! Because we're going to do regrettable things! Everyone found a partner?! Okay! So when the clock strikes midnight! Kiss your partner! Don't care who you're with! You're not going to remember in the morning anyways! Ready!? 30… 29…"

And despite the noise from inside the house, Chloe focuses on Beca's that was now talking to her. "You heard Amy, do you want to do it?"

"Hmm… I don't know,"

"20… 19…"

"Oh come on Chlo." Beca whined.

"Maybe if you properly asked me…" Chloe said playfully as she steadied herself up with her elbows, then practically sat on Beca's lap.

"10!... 9!..."

"Chloe, will you do the honour of…"

"5!... 4!..."

"Kissing me?" Beca smiled at her.

"Yes." Chloe giggled.

"1!"

And just like that Beca pulled her in, for a soft kiss at first. Then it escalated. They breathe into each other, as their lips touch deeper. Chloe brings both of her hands to Beca's face, her fingers grazing on her flushed cheeks. Beca put her hand on Chloe's waist, letting her hand pull Chloe closer, and closer, until their body was pressed onto each other.

Beca found some confidence in her to take a step further and gently bit Chloe's lip. Chloe pulled away at first and there was a hint of worry in Beca's face. Chloe rests their foreheads together in a seemingly familiar position. She let her lips touch Beca's as soft as possible until Beca breathes out, "Chloe."

Chloe deepens her kisses and replies to her, "Yes Beca?"

"Don't leave _me_." She cries. Chloe immediately touches their lips together again, and now she moved little by little to her jaw and down to her collarbone and then her neck, and it was just a blur of exposed skin.

"As long as you won't Becs, I'm here." Chloe whispers between Beca's neck. Beca pulled Chloe's head up to see her and kissed her again. They smile against each other and feels an overt sense of security, happiness and relief for something they've yet begun exploring.

And they open their mouths, and Chloe isn't sure who did it first but they were now searching each other's open crevices and Chloe feels the immense amount of energy and intimacy both of them are letting out right now. Chloe's never felt something like this before, but to know she's experiencing this with Beca, she feels safe.

Beca was the first to pull them apart, the dampness of their lips still there. Chloe didn't open her eyes yet but she can already picture Beca's features smiling as she did so. And Chloe opened her eyes to a teary eyed Beca who looks very nostalgic. She breathed out a laugh.

"I'm sorry this all feels so surreal," Beca said.

"It's alright," Chloe smiled.

Beca started to rub the back of Chloe's neck and in that moment Chloe feels so happy. But she knows they have to address how wrong this was, or how dangerous it is. But she's so fucking tired of that. She's tired of hiding it, she's tired down to the last drop of blood in her. She's tired of fighting this, and for once maybe this is the universe telling her to just go with it. Only for tonight though. And she knows it's unfair to Beca, unfair to her feelings, but she really can't pull away right now. This feeling overrides any feeling of judgement, and despite it happening again and again. She knows she has to stop.

They stay like that for a long time, just embracing each other's comfort. Chloe never wants it to end.

-Pandas-

There were only the Bellas left now and Chloe was already half asleep on Stacie's couch. Beca went off and said her goodbyes to them, for her and Chloe. Once Chloe's got confirmation Beca's done, she gently pushed herself off the couch but swayed lightly feeling all the blood go to her head.

"Hey hey take it easy there Chlo. You okay?" Beca asked, steadying her up from her back.

"Yea, I'm fine, just tired is all." Chloe smiled, leaning in towards Beca. Beca, almost on instinct, checked her temperature from her back. Chloe shivered at Beca's cold hand, and just wrapped herself around her shoulders.

"Okay… Let's just go home alright? I'll drive…"

"No way Mitchell. You're drunk, I think I'll manage the short drive,"

"Just because I don't want to get us in any car accidents, I'll let you drive this once…"

Beca got in the passenger's seat while Chloe went to the driver's one. She almost buckled up, but Beca stopped her.

"Hey Chlo…"

"Yea?" Chloe asked sounding confused.

"Stop me if you don't want this." Beca said hurriedly then began to kiss her. _Hard._ Chloe didn't kiss back for a while, but then gives in. She pushes Chloe back, again, again and again. And now Beca's all the way half of her seat already. Her hands on the back of Chloe's neck and holding tightly.

After a while they pulled back from lack of air and Chloe already missed the touch. Both bodies are shaking and panting. Beca looks as if she wants to say something as she moved back towards her seat to let Chloe start the car, and pour some aircon into the car.

"I uh… I just wanted to do that as much as I can before you realize you wants me to stop… 'Cause I know you will… I know you too well…"

Chloe sighed. " _Beca. God._ Why do you want to do this now…?" Chloe whispered and looked at her with pleading eyes. Her mind is blurry, all she could think about is Beca's tongue on hers and her hands touching her everywhere.

"I know, I'm sorry… It's just… I don't want you to feel like you need to protect me Chloe. I want this. I do. Even if… You know… The chances are high…" Beca looked towards the road.

And Chloe looks at Beca and she knows what Beca's trying to say. That it doesn't matter if they're together or not, Beca's going to have the same effect either way. And Chloe hates how she cries seemingly over Beca's words a lot these days. Her eyes are watering, and that's not good because she needs to be focused on driving. Her words are stuck in her throat and she can't speak or respond to Beca.

Beca managed to stay quiet and cool for the rest of the ride until they reached Chloe's apartment. When Chloe parked she sighed and slumped her shoulders. Beca turned to her and pressed a kiss on her temple, "It's okay. I'll leave it up to you Chlo."

Chloe rubbed her eyes to rid the tears that were threatening to come out. She looks up at Beca, vision being blurred.

"I just want you to be able to find someone and love somebody else if that really does happen Beca." Chloe finally admitted. The air in the car suddenly got a little more tense. "I don't want to die, knowing that I took your heart and capability to love with me. I don't want that…"

There's a lot of pressure between them right now, as Beca stares at Chloe. She'd just opened up that there's actually a possibility of her dying soon, to Beca. Eventually the stare-off becomes too much and she has to look away from Beca and into the parking lot.

Chloe heard Beca clear her throat and reach for Chloe's hand. "Chlo… Look at me? Please." Chloe turns to look at her, eyes brimming with liquid. "It's your choice okay? You have the last say. I won't force anything upon you. But you need to know that I love you. And I want you to give me a chance to fall in love with you because _God_ Chloe. I don't think I could live with myself if I didn't fall in love with you. And I can think of nothing better than being loved by you. I want this, I want _us. Please_?"

There's tears in Beca's eyes now too, and Chloe wants to take it all the pain and the sadness away from her. And just say _yes._ But she can't. Chloe goes out of the car and Beca followed. Chloe took in Beca's hands and when they reched the elevator, Chloe sighed.

"Just give me some time okay?" Chloe squeezed Beca's hand.

"Okay," Beca squeezed back with a smile.

-Pandas-

They go into bed together comfortable that night. Chloe felt really tired though and Beca had to change her again. She's so weak. Just a few hours of socialising and she's beat. Beca left Chloe on the bed alone to change and when she finished, Chloe feebly reached out for Beca's shirt and weakly pulled her in.

"Haha, okay okay, I'm coming." Beca giggled going under the covers. Chloe then proceeded to hug her and tangle themselves together, fingers, body, feet and arms.

Beca feels Chloe falling asleep and just smiled at her, rubbing circles behind her back. Chloe's breath evens out and in just the faintest of noises Beca hears, "I want it badly too Becs."

"Really?" Beca asked, playing with Chloe's fingers again.

"I'm just scared Beca…" Chloe whispers, eyes still closed. "I don't say it much but I'm scared of leaving you and being in love with you. It'll hurt me but it'll hurt you most. And I can't do that."

Beca squeezes Chloe hands and pressed a light kiss on it. "Don't think about it as if it's happening soon Chloe. Just let me love you Chlo."

"Okay…" Chloe mumbles sleepily. Chloe keeps a death grip on Beca's shirt and says, "I'm really tired of fighting it."

Beca smiled at this and turned their heads slightly so that they were kissing. It wasn't a deep kiss, it was something to prove that Beca's not going anywhere. They parted and Chloe fell asleep moment later. Beca sighed and traced patterns on Chloe's back.

She doesn't know what's going to happen in the future, but she's glad that now she gets to do what she can to Chloe, while she's here. She could kiss her to make the pain seem less painful, she could cuddle with her in the hospital bed, she could comfort her with her words of love. She wants to be able to love Chloe forever. Without the cancer and sadness blocking her from doing so. And Beca's holding on to that little bit of hope that it's going to be real.

"I love you Chloe." Beca whispered.

"Love you too Becs. Now sleep. You're thinking too hard."

Beca laughed lightly and finally let sleep take over her.

* * *

A/N: I am monumentally sorry in how long this chapter took to go out. I was having writer's block for a really long time, then school started again, and in day 2 I already have five quizzes and 3 essays to prepare. But it's okay! The next chapter will probably be out next week Wednesday or Thursday :) And some bad news... Yesterday, my uncle died of the cancer. He didn't make it... And yea... I'm okay, everyone's okay except his family. So yeaa... That's it for now. See you next time! As always! Thoughts? Feelings? Constructive Criticism? Want to tell me a fact about yourself? Leave them all in the review thing below. Or in my tumblr, it's the same thing as my username.

 _MissCuddless: Thank you! :)_

 _jalex1: I hope this chapter fixed your broken heart. The Bellas know now about it now :P_

 _Anonymous PPBC: Oh okay that's good! I'm okay... Still pretty sad about my uncle but I'm okay :) And thanks!_

 _BrittannaSendrick47: Thank you! I am handling the shotgun pretty well. :)_

 _Rumbelleforever64: Haha I won't let Chloe die :) Glad you enjoyed the chapter._

 _blurtopia: I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR PUNS. Honestly I about laughed all day thanks to your joke XD_

 _Somebody: Oooh okayy! :) Thanks for the beautifully written story about your camp XD You know you can do wonders with a swivel chair. Hahah I decided I won't kill Chloe, so don't worry about it :) (But I'm still kinda in the edge...) Glad you enjoyed the story! See youuu!~_

 _philosoz: Aww thank you! Hope you enjoyed this chapter :)_

 _AleKuroba: Thanks dude! Glad you enjoyed the chapter! And I will keep updating, hoping to see another story soon ;) And sleeepp moreee XDD *heart emoji*_


	14. Terminal

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

A/N: Also I know next to nothing about Cancer, I'm basing this off of experience with a family member and wikipedia, so if something's wrong. _Please don't hesitate to tell me._

* * *

 **HOPING FOR TOMORROW**

* * *

Chapter 14: Terminal

 _Four weeks later Chloe has only spent five days at home, despite all the drugs and the fluids - that's supposed to make her better - the higher dosage of chemo is becoming too much for her body to take. Her room on the fifth floor of the Oncology ward has become like a second home to Chloe, and Beca's been more than welcome to to stay with her for the past four weeks, only leaving when Chloe insists that she goes. Beca tells her that there's nowhere else she'd rather be, so she started bringing her music equipment there to work, or simply just writing songs in her notebook. And the fact that Beca's there, with her, as a person she could say 'I love you' to every time she wanted to, is more than enough for Chloe._

* * *

There was a particularly tough night for Chloe, on Thursday. When she couldn't seem to keep any fluids in her body, and kept throwing it up. It wasn't as bad as her allergy, but it was still bad. Beca's been in and out, calling the nurse, cleaning her vomit-bucket, getting her water, and Chloe feels sorry. Although Beca reassures her with a wave of a hand and a 'It's fine Chlo.'

It's become to the point where she also can't keep down food, so Dr. Neal hooked one more tube into her hand. Feeding her from it. And Chloe thinks how it's so pathetic to be tied down like this. She can't even eat or drink properly, and her intakes of food are no longer monitored by her own will. It's monitored by a button that Jane or some other nurse simply presses to get her nutrients into her system. And true enough, Chloe doesn't eat for a couple of days.

Apparently her body decides that Chloe isn't being tortured enough, and now she has to have an oxygen machine pumped into her through her nose. Which makes it really hard for her to breathe. She's lost count of the number of days she stayed like this, slipping in and out of consciousness. One minute she's talking to Beca, and the other Beca tells her she'd fallen asleep for three hours. And it sucks. Because Beca's there, sometimes on her phone, sometimes on her laptop, and Chloe's not even sure Beca even knows when she's awake or when she's not.

But at night Chloe always feels it. She always feels Beca sliding into the small space of the hospital bed, next to her. And she's creating this warm blanket that the hospital gown or duvet could never do, and holding Chloe so close, so protective in her arms. Chloe could only feel her hands, not the tubes, not the oxygen pumper, only Beca. Chloe hears the good night's Beca always says to her, the I love you's that always ran a chill through Chloe's spine, and it hurts Chloe that she _can't_ say it back.

One day Chloe wakes up suddenly from movements not from Beca. She could feel Beca's left hand holding her right hand, and her right hand holding her across the stomach. But her left hand is also being held by someone, and Chloe with all her energy, attempts to look down. Through sleep-induced haze Chloe's eyes travel from the window to the person holding her hand. And she swears she heard her heart skip a beat through the monitor, when she saw a sleeping Aubrey hunched over the bed and on her lap.

And Chloe's suddenly more awake than she's ever been in the four weeks she's spent here. She can't believe _Aubrey_ is here, in front of her, holding her hand so tightly as if she'll never fucking let go again. Because she missed it, she missed her so fucking much. Aubrey's _her_ best friend, the one to always keep Chloe grounded. And was waiting so patiently, for her to come back because she wasn't going to force another person to unwillingly take care of her. And she's never been so thankful, even if she only gets another week with her until it becomes to much. That's fine. Because Chloe's just keeping low standards because she knows if she sets high ones, she'll be more disappointed if it doesn't come true.

-Pandas-

"Did you know that sea otters hold hands when they sleep so they don't drift away from each other?" Chloe asked, as Beca walked in from her meeting with Cynthia-Rose, and some couple of other artists.

"Well hello to you too Chlo." Beca smirked while beginning to change from her clothes to a much comfortable one. "Are you saying I'm a sea otter?"

Sitting with her back against the cushioned headboard, Chloe looks at Beca with interest as she changed, "No, if you were an animal you'd be uhhh,"

"Something badass like a wolf right?"

"No, more like a Panda, but smaller version… Oh! A red panda because you're so cute and fluffy,"

"Not cute Beale." Beca grumbles as she finished changing to a tank top and short pants.

Chloe stuck her tongue out and patted the space next to her, lightly. Getting the hint Beca moves towards the space and then she rest her head on Beca's shoulder, while Beca plays with her phone.

Chloe's been having a hard time since after the hospital released her. It took almost all of the energy from her body, with all the increased dosages and medicine. She was only set home because Dr. Neal no longer found a reason for her to be kept in the hospital anymore. Most of the time, Chloe's sleeping on her bed or on the couch.

In fear of infection or extreme exhaustion, she doesn't go out like she used to. She hates this. She hates that she's so weak. She hates that she's not able to do anything. She can't even sit through a two hour movie with Beca, without dozing off in the middle. Beca doesn't mind, _of course she doesn't mind._ But Chloe can't help it, the migraine of staring to the TV too long, the exhaustion of sitting in the same spot for hours plus the ache in her bones was always enough to make her feel like shit.

She hates that Beca's always here.

Well no, that's not what she meant. She honestly think she can't even be positive anymore without Beca around, and that's so different. She's always there, either tapping on her keyboard or clicking on her mouse, sometimes she would play this really annoying music game in full volume, but she would never say it's annoying. Because part of her doesn't want it to stop, she needs affirmation that Beca's there, and whether it's the soft sounds of music editing, or the loud noise of the game.

What's really on Chloe's mind lately is not knowing if the chemicals flowing through her veins is working or not. Six weeks of drugs and medicine pumped into her body, that she's sure it's still in her body right now. That's what been haunting her every minute of the day. Her first bloodwork will be done two weeks after after her last treatment, and then it's all final. They'll know where this is all going.

Chloe lifts her head from Beca's shoulder after zoning out for a moment and thinks that that's another thing that she should stop doing. Her concentration isn't at its best right now, and she tends to lapse in and out of reality at times.

Beca stares at her after she removed her head from her shoulder. Chloe rubs her eyes, and mumbles out, "Sorry did you say something?"

Beca put down her phone on the bedside table, and looks at Chloe, "I said that if you were an animal, you would be a cute puppy," Beca stares at Chloe, and she stares back, like a puppy, "You okay though?"

Chloe straightened up her back to the headboard and sighed, "Yeap. I just zoned out a little, pretty tired you know. Anyway, how was it back in the studio?"

Beca shrugs her shoulders and put her knees close to her chest. She replied while staring down at the duvet, "I don't know, it was uneventful and a bore. Which was surprising because I usually find those meetings fun, but since everything that happened, it just came into my mind how we waste so much money on things that don't matter, rather than the things that do..."

"Beca, music is important. It's important for you,"

"You're more important to me Chlo." Beca mumbles while playing with a loose string on her pants.

Chloe lets her head fall back into the headboard as well, her neck aches… Why does Beca have to be painfully empathetic?

"Yea but it's your job Becs. You're going to make a lot of people happy with your music, people like me enjoy it... Even on the worst days,"

Chloe looks over at Beca, and she has this tiny, pursed smile that she only does when she doesn't want to show that she's blushing. How could she not though, when Chloe's looking as if Beca's hung the fucking stars up for her. And only her.

Beca doesn't say anything else, she just moves in front of Chloe and both of them crossed-legged. Beca places her hand on Chloe's thigh and her stare is enough to bore holes on the back of Chloe's skull. Chloe involuntarily looks away, until Beca cups her chin and guided it back to her face.

"I love you." Beca whispered into the space between them. Her hand slowly moving to Chloe's neck.

And it's still new to Chloe, and she found herself dumfounded while saying it back, "I love you too," Chloe's hand tangles with Beca's.

Beca leans in forward and closes the small gap between them. She stops when their lips are barely touching almost as if she's waiting for Chloe to make her move, so she does. She leans forward and they touch ever so lightly, and Chloe's slightly dry lips connect with Beca's damp ones. And they just moves with each other.

Chloe found the collar of Beca's shirt and tugs it lightly, her hand shaking even with that small amount of effort. Thankfully, getting the hint, Beca's body moves forward, until Beca's legs are kneeling in front Chloe. One of Beca's hand snakes to Chloe's shoulder, and one beside Chloe's head on the headboard to support her weight. Chloe brings the hand that was previously on Beca's collar to Beca's face, and rubs light circles on her soft cheek.

Chloe moans a little when Beca bit lightly on her bottom lip, and she opens her mouth to let Beca in. And she's willing to let Beca explore every little crevice she has, if that's what's going to take to ignore the pain creeping up on her back. And she's already finding it hard to draw in breath by breath, and Beca's certainly not helping with that.

But she delights in Beca's undivided attention to her. Beca's hand that's cradling her neck ever so gently, and the way she holds up her weight on Chloe's, as her tongue moves in smooth circles in Chloe's mouth. And she's so gentle, and so careful. The adoration in every movement she makes is sending shivers down Chloe's spine, because this is real. And it's happening. It's so good and wonderful that she tries to shake off the fact that this could be _temporary_.

Beca's hand slides from her neck, all the way down to the hem of her shirt, and then slips her hand inside. She slides it up all the way to Chloe's back, her cold hand comes in contact with her warm temperature, makes Chloe's body arch up a little. Half because she's cold, half because Beca came in contact with the pain that's there. And she silently tells her body, that she doesn't fucking need this right now.

Letting her mouth fall away from Chloe's, Beca moves away slightly as she kisses her way down from the corner of Chloe's mouth all the way to her collarbone before sucking there. Chloe took in a sharp intake of breath, because it's all so much. And she _wants_ to enjoy it. But the ache in her back, isn't that small not to be ignored anymore. She wants to tell Beca to move her hand away, but is afraid if she does so, she'll stop. And she doesn't want that.

"Are you-" Bite. "Okay?" Beca whispered. Chloe clasped her hand on Beca's shirt, when Beca bit her. She can't find her voice right now, so she nodded instead. Beca's hand moves away from her back, and Chloe's internally grateful for that. Her hand moves to the waistband of Chloe's sweatpants, just playing with it momentarily before ghosting her fingers in lightly.

Oh. So this is happening.

Chloe tries so hard to be there. To give Beca her full attention, to try to ignore the tiredness running through her body. To ignore the pain that's coursing through her whole back. To not feel how her bones feel as if they are going to break with every movement Beca makes. And it's so embarrassing that she's so weak, all she wants is to hold Beca up against walls or pin her against the bed. But right now she's already having trouble letting Beca do all the work.

But despite that, she's trying her fucking hardest.

Beca trails her way back up again, capturing Chloe's mouth in a more heated kiss than the last one. Their tongues moving in rhythm with each others, and they begin a slow pattern that Chloe can deal with for a little bit. But Beca lets her hand travel under her pants, and she's slowly inching her way over the fabric of Chloe's underwear. And Chloe shudders under Beca, grinding little by little with every pattern of their kiss.

The pleasure and pain through her body is like two major opposing forces, battling for Chloe's body. And she's trying so hard for the pleasure to overtake the pain, and this is not how Chloe imagined their first time is going to be at all. Certainly not with her having cancer. She tries so hard and so badly to let her body be numb, to feel like the way she felt at the hospital, to have just this _one moment_ with Beca.

So she continues to be in pain as Beca confidently moves her hand inside Chloe's underwear, and now there was nothing in between Beca and Chloe's arousal. And Beca continues to kiss her deeply, her other hand going up her shirt to take advantage of Chloe's no-bra situation. Chloe lets herself be lost in Beca's movements, the way she's prodding _down there_ and how she's so careful not to inflict too much pain on Chloe. Chloe moans lightly into the kiss, letting Beca know that she needs her.

Beca got the message and began to slowly move her hand. In the heat of the moment, and Chloe being too selfish. She bucks her hips up to create more friction, but lands awkwardly on her back.

"Fuck!" Chloe exclaimed, breaking the kiss. And Beca suddenly halts everything she's doing, and retrieves back her hands. Her eyes that was hooded with seduction, now filled with worry.

And Chloe can't help but let small tears escape her eyes, because it hurts. Everything hurts. But mostly because life had to fuck this up as well. And now she's whispering, "Fuck. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. Oh my god. I'm _so_ sorry,"

Beca moves back and sits on her legs, her face crumpling a little, but mostly she just looks tired as well. She took in a deep breath and moves back to the space where she was in before, beside Chloe. She slumped down there, and Chloe closes her eyes determined not to look at Beca. She fixes her position, so that her back wasn't much of a problem anymore, and it was silent for a moment. Until Beca mimics Chloe's position so that they're both lying down, and she takes in one of her hands.

"It's okay, I'm more worried about you. That was so unimportant, I'm the one who should be sorry. You know that right?"

Chloe took back her hand and just moves to her side, facing away from Beca as she tries to not let her tears fall. Because it is important and it so not okay for Beca to say it's unimportant.

"Chlo. You get that right?" Beca tries again, her voice wavering.

She just offers a small nod, but whispers, "It's not really that unimportant," and her voice is so impossibly light, and out of sync that she feels that she's not herself. She feels so out of this world, and it's only Beca to keep her from drifting away. And she thinks that this was what she needed to tell Beca that she wants this, she wants to be with her. And she wanted Beca to know that.

Beca was silent for a moment, before wrapping her arms around Chloe's waist and Chloe could feel her breath on the back of her neck. "It's so unimportant Chloe. All I need is for you to be okay,"

And Chloe feels like crying again. She so pathetic. Her throat starts to close up and it's beginning to ache along her spine through her muscles and bones. She moves her head slightly so she can see Beca in her peripheral view. "Thank you."

And Beca pulls her in closer. She might not know how to handle all of life's shit that it's throwing at her. But all she knows is that there's a person that loves her, who's holding her close right now, promising never to let go. Promising that she won't let her pull away. She tries not to think about the event that just unfolded, and just tangles her hand with Beca's.

-Pandas-

It was a beautiful Sunday morning in LA. The sun was shining through streaks from Chloe's hospital room, she could hear the faint noise of bird chirping from the window and the color that painted through the walls deeply contrasted the color leaving Chloe's face when Dr. Neal told her that there were nothing else they could do.

Honestly, Chloe shouldn't even be surprised by this. Life just fucking hates her doesn't it. She came into the hospital with only the knowledge that she was going to run some routine tests; hopefully determine her fate other than this one and it all collapsed. She'd been _told_ that the cells would stop. She'd been _told_ that she was going to be _fine._ Just fine. She's FINE.

No she's not.

Her eyes drop to her hands that has a death grip on the sheets, soon becoming white-knuckled. She feels her throat constricting, and she clenched her teeth to prevent anything from happening yet. She hears the light taps of Dr. Neal's pen on her clipboard, and the ragged breaths coming from Beca next to her. And it's getting louder.

She wants to curl herself up and get away. She can't face the reality of hearing the word right now. Her hands start shaking and she's biting the inside of her lip hard. She wants to move but every part of her brain tells her no.

And she's just now registering that Dr. Neal has been repeating her name for quite a while now. Through blurred vision and vulnerability, Chloe looks up to her. She feels like she should cry, but her body is preventing her to do so. She just forgets the entirety to function normally.

"What did you say?" Chloe chokes out, and her words come out so raw, as if this is the first time she's spoken in years.

Dr. Neal's face is set at a classic pitiful face, but there's a little hint of something more. She can't help but think that doctors always form a kind of bond with their patients, and to deliver _this_ news to them must be pretty hard. "I said that I know this is probably not what you wanted to hear when you walked through those hospital doors, but it seems that the progress has developed faster than we'd foreseen. I'm so deeply sorry Chloe."

Chloe stares at the hospital door, refusing to meet Dr. Neal's eyes. It's all too fast. She looks towards Beca, and she was playing with her fingers while biting her lip, a thing she does when she's nervous or scared. She looks out the window and sees the people going in and out of the hospital, and thinks that it's moving too fast. Everything is moving too fast.

"Okay. So like-" What does she even try to ask in this situation. "How long 'til you know? Yea…" And Chloe swears her heart broke when Beca's wretched sob made itself known. She wants nothing more than to lock herself up in a dark room, and just fade.

Dr. Neal opens her mouth and closes it again, this repeats about two times before she comes with an audible answer, "There's not a certain time… Yet. It ranges between five months to a year, and we would have to calculate how fast it's growing to determine the accurate… Uhh time."

Chloe tried to take in the words. But her body just refuses to. Her ears feel like they're burning and it's not helping that her her eyes are filled to the brim with tears.

 _This can't be happening._

Her body now has a fucking deadline between five months to a year. She begins to hyperventilate, focusing all her energy in her ability - or inability - to breathe. She looks through her peripherals and Beca seems to suffer as much as her.

She'd never got ready for this. Never had the time to prepare what she would do. She's always been invincible, and she pride herself in her ability to keep calm when things go wrong. But this was one situation that Chloe could not, in a million years, be able to handle.

Everyday another person has gone to remission, and she thought that she would surely be one of those people that do. But now she's being told that she has a fucking deadline for her body. Like her life has no other meaning than to go to this expiry date. Chloe never truly accepted the fact that she's going to die. She's never going to accept the fact that she can't live long enough to buy a house, to be able to love Beca without cancer in their way, to travel to those exotic countries she's always wanted to visit, to settle eventually -preferably with Beca- somewhere other than LA, to hint on the suggestion on having children, eventually watching them grow and graduate, then earn enough money to retire, to move to a remote town with Beca, to die when she was fucking supposed to die. Old. Content. Happy.

She was never ready for this at all.

"What else?" And the voice that comes out of her is one that she doesn't recognize, small, insecure, scared.

"Well you are no longer required for your weekly routine checkups and treatments, but we can organize like therapy or counselling if you're interested. We will check up at least once a month though, the check you up if any other problem arises." Dr. Neal said in a way that doesn't reflect the sunny weather outside right now. she sounds like she doesn't want to be in this room right now. Doesn't want to be in a room with someone who's dying. Especially her own patient.

Dr. Neal cleared her throat and began to steady herself, "I'll give you two a moment. You look like you need it, if you need me, I'll be outside with Jane in the nurse's station."

Chloe hardly knew that she was nodding, as she feels the vibrations of the door closing.

Chloe couldn't hear anything at first, but the sound of Beca sobbing is becoming clearer and louder in her ears. it feels as though it's getting louder by the minute. And the space around her seems so small.

Chloe threw back the hospital covers and stood up to go to the window. She admires her hospital room view, she could always see the front door, she could see the people coming in with dreadful looks or the people leaving with hopeful and cheerful faces. She put her elbows on the ledge and rested her forehead against the window.

She adjusts her eyes to look towards Beca, she's hunched over, with her elbows on her knees while her hands are covering her face. She could see her shaking and the sounds emitted from her, Chloe could only describe as sounds from her worst nightmare.

Which is coincidentally happening right now.

Chloe wishes she could stop it. Because _this. This_ is not meant to happen. And this is what she was afraid of the most. She's afraid of losing Beca. Afraid to watch Beca lose her.

She turns around towards the door and Beca. She made the decision to leave the room, because the air is suddenly too tight to breathe. She can't do this right now. She just CAN'T. It feels like her lungs are collapsing, her mind is pulsing and there's an inexplicable force that's on her chest. And all she can hear is the beat of her own heartbeat that's beating abnormally fast, and her ragged breaths as she tries to gasp in air.

Chloe moves in between the bed and Beca, grabbing her sweater on the way. Her hand is on the door but then she feels a damp hand grabbing her wrist tightly. Stopping all her movements, Chloe tries hard not to notice that it's Beca's tears that are now on her wrist. All of the sudden there's a sob wrecking her throat, and her body is shaking as she feels herself begin to cry.

It wasn't the silent crying that she usually does. Her vision is beyond blurred, and she's sure that the sounds she's producing are inhuman. Everything is doesn't seem right anymore. And, _Oh God._ She's going to **die**.

" _Beca._ " Chloe whimpers out as her legs fail on her, causing her to hunch over her back. Beca is still tightly gripping her wrist.

Beca supports her up, and once their faces are levelled, Beca turns properly to look at Chloe, whipping her hair off to one side. And in the subjective silence, Beca whispers out, "I'm sorry. I wish there was something more I could do." She swallows a gulp. "I wish I could be enough for you. To hold you. To love you more. And just give you everything you deserve."

And Chloe can't even have a response back. Because Beca's already broken beyond measure. No amount of reality can free her from the thought that she has to lose Chloe. To live in a world, _without_ her.

" _I love you._ " Beca cried out, saying it like she's scared that Chloe didn't hear her saying it. She wants to make sure every time she says it, that it's filler with meaning. And Chloe can't be here long enough for Beca to say it forever. And it's just so much to think about right now. Forever is a much too long time to live, without Chloe.

"I know," Chloe says with maximum effort, because her eyes are kind of blurry and she can't focus on one specific object right now. But she wants to say it back, but all that she can muster up now is those two little words that's released into the void.

They go home soon after.

Because what else is there to do there.

-Pandas-

Beca wakes up around three or four am in the morning. She felt the bed empty next to her and wondered where Chloe had went. It was only about a few hours since they'd reach home and Beca immediately went to sleep. Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes and began to walk out of the room. She opened the door to see that Chloe has somehow moved the couch over near the window, and it was open, letting the cool night breeze in.

She was tapping on her phone and Beca wondered who she was texting at this time. The only light emanating from her phone showed the dark circles under her eyes, and the moon which reflected her sickly pale skin tone.

Beca doesn't say anything at first and just watches Chloe as she types, what seems like a long paragraph on her phone. She thinks how peaceful Chloe looks, how she hasn't looked like that in a while.

"Hey," She eventually whispered breaking the silence. Chloe was startled at first but she calmed when she saw Beca, warm and happy.

"Hello," Chloe replies, her voice sounding ragged as if she's been crying. But there's no evidence on her face that says she was. There's one thing that hasn't changed about Chloe and that's her eyes, it's still the innocent type of blue that's bright and shining. "I just told the Bellas."

Beca was taken aback at first and she suddenly found it hard to swallow the lump in her throat. "Really? Wait… how?"

"Sent it to the Bellas group chat," Chloe shrugged, pressing the circle button on her iPhone. "It probably got like mistakes and stuff but I can't be bothered to check. I don't think I could ever look at it again," she mumbles out, sounding tired.

Chloe turns her body and creates some seating space next to her. She reached out for Beca and patted to spot next to her. Beca grabbed her hand and they linked their fingers together, she looked out the window overlooking all the other buildings.

They mould into each other, Chloe moving back to her previous space that's now filled with Beca. They haven't really had contact with each other since the appointment, and maybe they're just scared. Scared that it's all moving too fast for their own comfort.

"Say something," Chloe said quietly. Beca holds back a giggle as Chloe's voice echoes throughout her chest. Chloe's on Beca's lap playing with her fingers, and she looked up at her with a tired face. Like she's trying to hold on for just a bit longer. "Please, I want you to say something,"

Beca's heart falls a little and she looks back towards Chloe. "What do you want me to say?"

"Just talk." Chloe says vaguely, putting Beca's hands over her eyes. Almost as if she wants Beca to do everything existing there is to do for her.

"Umm…" Beca mumbles slowly removing her hand from Chloe's face. She looks at her blue eyes, trying to memorize every part of her before the inevitable happens. She wants to explore the endless possibilities there is that is Chloe Beale.

"I don't know. Tell me a story? Read me a book? Just, I don't want you to stop talking," Chloe said, as she lifted up her body and rested her head on the armrest. There's a hint of happiness and hope in her eyes, and maybe it's just Beca looking into them too much.

"Hmm, okay… I do have quite a few stories up my sleeve," Beca says after Chloe's done moving. She smirks and Chloe smiles as they watched each other expectantly.

"Try me," Chloe says quietly, as her eyes began to light up with hope again, and now Beca's sure it is.

"Okay so," Beca hums trying to think of an opening line. She took in Chloe's hand and began to trace patterns over it as she thought about her story. Once she finally thought of one, she takes a breath so she could deliver it in the best way to Chloe as possible. Her eyes pass the window and she begins to see streaks of golden yellow and orange illuminating into the dark night sky.

"It was a Saturday morning." Beca starts and she smiles when Chloe began to close her eyes in imagination. "I woke up because I had a nightmare. I was sweating really hard and gasping. At first I couldn't remember the dream and then it all came back to me in a split second. In my dream, everything was the same except…" Beca shook her head. "We still won the Bellas finals my freshman year, Aubrey still hated me, we still won worlds, I still moved to LA. But there was like a huge gap missing. At one point, it was all white and I was there running. Desperately to find what was missing. And I couldn't."

She looked back and forth between the window and Chloe. Chloe's face had a hint of wonder, probably questioning where this was going. But she can tell that Chloe's enjoying it.

"And I remembered that I felt so fucking scared. Like it was dark and the transition from a white, bright dream to a dark and creepy room felt like you were still in a dream. There were voices from my mind telling me to find it. And it was all fucking scary. Then my phone chimed and it was a message from you telling me good morning, and if we're still going to meet up for coffee later in the day. I picked up the phone, smiling, and it took me a moment to realize. But in my dream, you were missing. I replayed the last 7-8 years of my life, without you and it was a horrible experience."

Chloe was still staring at Beca, but there's a hint of pity and wonder in her face. Her eyes are beginning to dilate like she's trying to imagine that day. And Beca quickly remembers that she didn't get it.

"I don't think I knew that time, but that's when I knew I love you."

And then Chloe's face expression changes as there's redness creeping up on her cheeks now. Her eyes are showing a fond, happy expression that hadn't transferred to her whole face yet.

Beca looks towards the window and stared off into the sunrise. She swallows hard and continues in a more reserved manner, "You know I changed since then?"

There's a sharp intake of breath from Chloe, but she can't bring herself to look at her again until after she says this.

"You make me know what love feels like. It's the feeling that you can't possible _lose_ that person in your life. And I never thought I'd be one to fall in a _real_ love, you know? And here you are breaking all my walls, barging into my life _and_ shower stalls. You changed me for the better," Beca's voice and throat starts to tremble a little as she felt a single tear run across her face.

"You came into my life and you had no real reason to be there, but you just did anyway. And I don't know why it took me, fucking 7 years to see that all I needed was right beside me, literally. So just, thank you. _Thank you_ for being with me. And caring. And for giving me the gift of you."

And she didn't realise that she's probably gripping Chloe's hand too hard, maybe in an attempt for her body to say that she's still here. She almost lets go, almost, "So yea," She sniffled. "There's my story," Beca wiped her other hand over her eyes to rid the welled up tears.

She looks at Chloe and there she was looking at Beca in a face that she couldn't quite decipher. She wonders if there's anything else to say, but she figured to stay quiet for a while. And let Chloe lead on.

"I'm sorry." Chloe says. Beca was about to ask why, but Chloe beat her to it. "I'm so sorry that I'm taking it away from you." And Beca looks at her face intensively now and all that's there is sadness and fear.

Beca took in a deep breath before moving closer to Chloe. She looked towards her eyes, and moves so close that their breaths are mixing together. And her voice is suddenly full of desperation and hoarse. "Hey. You are not taking anything away from me, you've given me so many things and more okay? I love you. And I'll be a better person because of it."

Chloe pressed her head forward a little, capturing Beca's mouth with a kiss. And Beca rested her hands on Chloe's shoulder. She moves back a little and whispers, " _I love you._ " Into the tiny space between them and she needs to know severely that Chloe knows and realizes that.

She pulls back now and Chloe's closed her eyes again. There's a faint blush on her cheeks as the sun glows against her face. And Beca thinks that she's painstakingly beautiful.

Beca's still collecting the memories and the details. Trying to fit all of Chloe into her head, and never forgetting it. Because now she's on a schedule, there's a wicked countdown that she's trying so hard to hide the ticking noise in the back of her head. She places her cold hand into Chloe's neck and kiss her on the temple, because that's all she can do for Chloe right now.

* * *

A/N: **hides in a corner** I'm so sorrryyyyyy this came out so late. T^T I won't lie to you, I've been stressed a lot lately and stuff so yea. I hope you enjoyed the long-ish chapter? If it weren't for AleKuroba I think this chapter wouldn't have ever been done until like October or something. Uhm tell me if you have suggestions and such cuz I desperately need them. And I think about 5 or so more chapters, I'm bringing this story to a close. I'm trying to decide to make two endings, one where Chloe dies and one where she lives or just pick one. What do you guys think? Do you want two endings or just one sad/happy ending? I'll pick the one that has most suggestions. Tell me in the review thing or PM or inbox or whatever lol. Can you tell I'm tired? XD Anyways if you follow my other story Not So Secretive, I'll post a new chapter soon-ish. Maybe when I have holiday next week, okay so yeap. That's all and as always. Thoughts? Feelings? Constructive Criticism? LEAVE A SUGGESTION. Put them all in the review thing below. Or in my tumblr, it's the same thing as my username.

 _BtotheAtotheNtotheG: Aww thank you thank you! You're very kind. :)_

 _beyonce'sthinggap: omg._

 _feistykleinemaus: Hahah hope you enjoyed this chapter lol :P Sorry it took so long._

 _Guest: Aww thanks dude. I hope this chapter made you cry harder. XD_

 _CapAmerica21: Aww thanksssss! You're amazing :)_

 _xcombixgirlx: Haha thanks so much for caring. I felt like getting a huge load off my chest because I shared those things with you haha. Hope you enjoyed the chapter :) Have a good life!_

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 _Somebody: Hahah thank you thank you! :) Hope you're having a great life. Keep in touch with your inner swivel chair and yea. Hope you enjoyed the chapterrr! :D_

 _AleKuroba: Dude. I finally updated. Be proud of me and come yell at me at hangouts. Hope I didn't ruin your idea too much :P_

 _philosoz: I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG T^T I promise it won't be that long before I update again okayy?_

 _Guess: Aww thank you so much! You're so kind and fantastic. Hope you enjoyed the chapter! :)_


	15. Mistakes

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

A/N: Also I know next to nothing about Cancer, I'm basing this off of experience with a family member and wikipedia, so if something's wrong. _Please don't hesitate to tell me._

 ** _Guys! I encourage you to listen to this song while listening to this chapter. Ahah. Don't cry though._**

 ** _(In My Veins - Andrew Belle )_**

* * *

 **HOPING FOR TOMORROW**

* * *

Chapter 15: Mistakes

 _Why the fuck is this happening? She doesn't want to die. She's not ready to die. She's not ready to leave Beca alone. She's not ready!_

* * *

Chloe doesn't particularly like it when Beca's disappeared off the face of the world just for her. Her managers, bosses, artists, CR, partners, all know her circumstance and Beca just refuses to come into work. Beca doesn't make a big deal about it, but Chloe knows it bothering her. Honestly she doesn't even know the last time Beca's gone to her house and mixed music.

So she forces her to go to meetings, go see CR, mix music, go to her studio every now and then, just in general be Beca as much as Beca wants to be. She's not about to let Beca slow down her life because of her. Because it's much harder to speed up, when the thing that slowed her down is gone. When Chloe's gone.

Beca doesn't want to go though, so she cancels most of them as much as possible. She purposely doesn't tell Chloe anymore about her meetings or schedules, in hopes of just staying with her. Beca doesn't care if Chloe's just sleeping or too tired to function, all that matters is that she's breathing and Beca doesn't want to waste any second without her.

Chloe might not be as bubbly as last time but she certainly is trying her hardest to live life, whilst she's dying. And it's apparent. Chloe tries to smile whenever she can, and get up whenever she has the strength to, she even cooked her own breakfast yesterday while Beca was showering. She's trying so hard not to miss out anymore, to live to the fullest in the time she has left.

So no, Beca's not going to go to some bullshit meeting at her office when she can spend time with Chloe. She wants to watch her move, be there for her, listen as their breaths sync together as they just lay. Most of all she wants to love her. And it's hard for Beca to watch the person that she wants to be there for the rest of her life, just fade. Every moment that Beca has to spend without her, she feels as if Chloe's fading faster. Like she can't collect all her memories, like she's fading from her memories. And honestly Beca doesn't ever want to forget. She wants to collect all the images of Chloe's happiness and laughter, while she's still here

They are in a countdown now. They know it. They despise it.

So Beca's trying to keep them together in the short time that they have, and Chloe's trying to ease her way out of Beca's life, so it'll just be easier when she's gone. They don't know which is easier to do.

-Pandas-

The world fucking hates her. Of course it happens when Beca isn't home. And honestly, she just walked out the door a few minutes ago. Fuck Murphy's Law.

-Pandas-

After sleeping for a whole of fifteen hours, Chloe feels Beca kiss her softly on her cheek and stroke her upper arm lightly. She opens her eyes and her vision lands on Beca, all dressed with jeans and a leather jacket.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up," Beca said quietly, while Chloe yawned.

"Did I dream that? Or did you just kiss me?" Chloe said softly. Her mind still bleary and sleep induced.

"Mmm, no. That was real." Beca whispers again as she leant down, delivering one more kiss to Chloe's lips. She lingered just for a moment before she stood up again.

"I got to head to that meeting with CR and other people. You think you can handle being alone by yourself?" Beca asks straightening her jacket.

Chloe nods and closes her eyes again, feeling the usual headache come through. Her body is all achy and she really wants Beca to come back and lay down with her.

"You'll call if you need me alright? I'm never too busy for you Chlo." Beca says with a serious tone, rubbing Chloe's temple with her thumb.

"I know, and I will," Chloe smiled feeling Beca's cool hand massage her forehead. "I'll be okay though Becs, go and make music already."

Beca smiles and bent down to give Chloe one last kiss on her forehead. After that, she left with a wave.

Chloe lazed around the bed for a little longer before getting up and brushing her teeth. She could feel a little bit more tired and achy this morning, but decided that that's all she's been feeling every morning. She walked to the kitchen and turned on the water heater.

While waiting she turned her back on the counter and just rested there. Everything seems like it's swaying and moving. She can't even move properly anymore, she walks all slow and steady. And she's just not used to walk, after all the amount of rest she's been getting. Chloe is falling asleep and she woke up because the water heater made a noise. That's been scaring her, she's slowly becoming sleepy anywhere. Actually a lot of things scare her these days.

After she poured in her coffee, she tried to find the breakfast that Beca made her. And she remembered that Beca said something about it being on top of the fridge. So Chloe reached out, but something was wrong. The blood in her veins are slowly coming up to her, and her fingertips are getting warmer, there's also a surging nausea in her stomach that reaches up to her throat. She needs to sit down, lie down, stop standing, lie down on the couch; she needs to _stop_ _standing_. Suddenly everything is moving in slow motion, she retrieves back her hand and she falls.

If Chloe wasn't passed out, maybe she would've heard the cracking noise her head made when it collided with the corner of her dining table. Or the thick silence that followed that afterwards. It was only a few moments when the aggravating breaths from Chloe's chest made itself known. Her eyes slowly opened to reveal the now dark irises, she can't focus on anything. Everything seems blurry. It's several more minutes before Chloe registered what happened. Her head is pounding, and she shakily lifts her hand to the back of her head and looked at the now blood-stained fingers.

Her clothes feel heavy and the world seems to move in slow motion. She tries to rest against the cabinets, pulling herself upright. The knobs are pretty uncomfortable to lean on, but she knows she can't stay down or move anywhere. Her head is swaying and her eyes can't focus anywhere properly. She whispers a small, " _Shit_."

Then she feels the metallic taste in her mouth that resembled a lot like blood. And she knows that the blood on her head is dripping on her shirt.

On instinct Chloe weakly calls out, "Beca," Feeling tears on her face, or maybe run through her collarbones, as there is no response. Chloe momentarily forgot that Beca isn't home, and she's very much alone.

Chloe doesn't remember much about the few minutes after that. She remembers blood pooling in her mouth as she attempted to dial help. She remembers the blood spewing out of her mouth when she tried to talk to the person she's talking too. She remembers the hazy images of people coming into her house and pulling her up a gurney. She remembers feeling relieved as she half-consciously slips away when they took her into the ambulance.

-Pandas-

It's all quiet when Chloe wakes up. Well as quiet as the hospital ward can be. She's become accustomed to the beeping of the heart monitor, the footsteps of the nurses outside, the light taps of pens on a writing pad, the quiet drips of her IV above her, sometimes she hears crying outside, sometimes she doesn't. It's sad really. It's sad that Chloe has been accustomed to this kind of quiet, that she kind of likes it. Because it always makes her feel like she's there. And not fading.

Her head is _hurting._ There's a dull throb pain at the back of her neck, and the feeling of discomfort tells her that there's some kind of bandage there. Chloe hasn't opened her eyes yet, and she almost doesn't want too. Because she feels that Beca isn't there.

Beca would've had their hands intertwined whenever she was asleep in the hospital, especially after a big treatment or an operation. Like this. So she kind of doesn't want to wake up to an empty room, she'll wait.

There's some kind of rustling beside her bed, and it sounds like the screeching of a chair. And suddenly Chloe's worried that Beca _is_ there but not holding her hand. She always hold her hand, and it's become a thing. It has become a thing that Chloe relies on.

Slowly and with difficulty, she opens her eyes. The brightness and fluorescence of the hospital room seeping into her vision. And she looks slightly to her left, not moving her head, to find Beca there in a chair. Her head is in her hands, which are on her knees. She's twitching and jumping nervously and Chloe can see her biting her nails every once in awhile. She also checks her phone sometimes to scroll her messages probably. And even she can see that she's shaking.

Chloe doesn't know what to do and it's so unfair. Because she doesn't even know how to let Beca know she's awake. Before, all she had to do was lightly squeeze Beca's hands and without fail Beca's would squeeze back at her softly. And now there's this gap between them and it feels like a fucking _abyss_ , and it's so unfair because she can't move her hand that long to calm Beca's nerves.

To get a better look at Beca, she lets her head fall to her side. Then there's a sting in the back of her head, eliciting small hisses through her teeth and immediately Beca looks up. Her eyes are brimmed a little red, it looks bloodshot and so drawn in. There's a moment where they are just staring at each other, and Chloe can't move, neither can Beca.

Then Beca breathes out an almost inaudible, "Hey," like she doesn't want to be too loud to hurt Chloe.

And there's a silence when Beca moves up and out of her chair, to Chloe. She pressed a soft kiss to Chloe's lips, which Chloe returned back gratefully. She stays there for a moment though, and mumbles, "Thank the fucking aca-gods."

On instinct Chloe reaches up and rested her hands on Beca's shoulder, slowly moving down to her chest. She feels a racing heartbeat, and a too warm skin underneath her fingertips. She whispers back, "Hey."

Beca pulled away and closes her eyes for a moment. She took Chloe's arms from her chest and clutches on it for a moment before releasing it and pulling the chair closer to the bed. She sits back down, and smiles. Just when Chloe wanted to say something, Beca reached up for the nurses' button and pressed it.

"The doctor said to call when you wake up, you know, just to check you over and shit," Beca explained, bouncing her leg up and down. "You were gone for quite a while, they probably want to check for concussion or something,"

"How long?" Chloe questioned groggily.

"I received the call from the hospital about three and four hours ago? I don't know though." Beca's voice started to become really small, and Chloe wants to curl up and hide.

"What hospital is this?" Chloe asked looking around the surroundings. The hospital smells different and their color scheme is different too.

"Uhm, I don't know. Something something hospital, it's closer to home. We're still in the ER, I think they're gonna move you into a room. Depends though," Beca answers, her voice strained and tight.

Then suddenly the white curtain is pulled back and a man in scrubs entered. He closed back the curtain and smiled, "Ah happy to see you awake Ms. Beale. My name is Dr. Niccolo, how are you?" He took out his pen and clipboard, seemingly out of nowhere and beckoned Chloe to answer.

Chloe moves her head slightly to face him better, but winces. "I'm tired. THe back of my head hurts like a lot."

"Yes I suppose that's bound to happen. We had to put on some stitches and due to your _condition_ , we had to take some measures to ensure you won't bleed out." Dr. Niccolo said, "I would just like to check you over, to make sure you don't have a serious concussion and also check the lacerations. Your blood counts looks normal so we might not need a transfusion, okay?"

Chloe blinks a couple of times letting the many words sink in, and to adjust her eyes being in the light from it not. "Yep okay."

Dr. Niccolo smiles, "Okay," He pulled up a chair and sat down on the other side of Chloe, "So do you think you could tell me what happened?"

-Pandas-

The next 20 minutes was filled with questions being asked to Chloe. Such like, "What day is it?", "Can you squeeze this ball?", "When's your birthday?", "Who's the woman next to you? What's her full name?", "Can you follow this light for me?"

Chloe's mind is tired and foggy, but she's got the all clear sign from the doc. She only has a small concussion, and the cut has stopped bleeding. She's just being kept overnight for observations.

As Dr. Niccolo leaves the room, Chloe turns to face Beca who still is sitting down in the chair and biting her nails nervously. "You staying tonight?" Chloe asked unsurely because she's honestly unsure. Throughout the check-up, Beca's kept quiet

"Yeah, yeah of course," Beca replied. Choe nods against her pillow, missing the way that Beca's hand is not on hers. "I might have to go home and grab some stuff first though,"

Chloe drew back at Beca's tone, it wasn't the comforting one she usually uses it was… Monotone. But she nods anyway.

"You know from the way I see it, I might as well live in the hospital. I'm like here most of the time anyway," Chloe lightly joked to break the tension.

Beca glances up and furrows her eyebrows disbelievingly, like she doesn't understand what Chloe's saying.

Chloe just keeps on talking through the tenseness, "Like whenever I come they have like a room ready for me, how cool would that be?" Chloe smirks through that and is trying really hard to loosen Beca up.

But the smirk quickly falls from her face as Beca shook her head and ran a hand over her face, keeping it there. "Don't." A whisper falls from her lips.

"Come on Becs, I'm just joking," Chloe says trying not to sound aggravated, but only coming off as nervous.

"Well don't okay?" Beca says leaning back further into the arm chair.

Chloe backs off at that, "Sorry. It was a bad joke, I get it. Just forget about it, don't get so worked up over it,"

Beca huffs out a breath like she's annoyed, "It's not something to joke about. Is it not?"

"Well how else do you think I can deal with it then?" Chloe tries not to be taken aback about the realest statement she's said in a while.

Beca's mouth falls disbelievingly, and puts her hand behind her back, like she's trying to open much of her chest as possible. " _The fuck?_ How- how do you think _I'm_ supposed to deal with this Chlo?"

"What? I- I just-" Chloe stumbles over her words because all of the sudden Beca's angry and hurt, and she really wished she hadn't make that joke right now.

"How the _fuck_ do you think I'm supposed to deal with leaving you alone at home, and you splitting the back of your head open and now you're making jokes about it?" Beca asks rhetorically. Her voice going slightly higher with every word she says, but still the same volume as before.

" _Beca._ " Chloe chastises slowly. How is this happening right now? All she wants is to sleep for a few days with Beca holding her. And why isn't Beca holding her hand right now? "I didn't mean to do it." She finished.

Pressing her palm into her forehead, Beca says, getting louder on every word she speaks, "I know that Chlo. I just, I don't know. I'm fucking _failing_ here. And the hospital called me, and I thought this was it for you. And I couldn't even come straight away because I was so fucking sick at the thought of losing you _so soon._ " Beca pauses, taking a deep uneven breath. "And I need to be in the fucking meeting right now. Except I'm here. Waiting in an emergency room. Waiting to see if the love of my life is going to wake up, _despite_ the fact that she's dying of cancer. That's so fucked up! Don't you get that?"

And Chloe's there. She's lying down on her bed, and she's never felt more emotionally unstable. Her head is spinning, in more ways than one, and each breath she takes gets more heavier than the last. She can feel the pulsating beats at her fingertips, and she can't think straight. She jsut wants this to end, and her head _hurts_.

All she can say is a tiny voice of, "Well why don't you just go to the meeting then?" But she can't even manage to be angry, she just wants it to stop.

However, Beca's already pushing up from her seat, hands still on her head, like she's got a headache. Her voice is already raised beyond the normal measure, and she's still seeing spots. "You fucking can't ask that questions. I can't be in the meeting right now, you can't do that. That's so fucking unfair Chlo. I can't be there, not while you're here practically dying and not working fucking normally!"

"I'm sorry. _I'm sorry. Please._ Just please stop shouting Beca. It's okay," Chloe tries to plead, because her head is pounding and the sounds are all echoing too loud in her head.

" _No._ " Beca snarls out, so angry and so hateful. "No. It's not 'okay'. It's not fair! It's not okay! You can't fucking say that in front of me. You can't say that when you're leaving me Chloe. You can't _do_ this to me."

Beca's pacing up and down the sides of Chloe's bed, breathing strained, trying to calm herself and she runs her hand over her face. And all of the sudden words are streaming out of her mouth, and she can't stop. "It's all too much. _This_ is too much. I shouldn't have ever cared so much. Why did we fucking think this way a good idea? We didn't even get anytime before, and I don't think you fucking realize that I can't live without you Chlo. I'm not fucking _ready._ "

There's a tension running through the room, between the greenish grey curtains, and Beca can't breathe right now. There are a couple of tears running down her face, and she begins to quiet down, her voice needy and raw. "I'm trying to fucking fight for you Chloe. I'm trying to fight for us, but you gotta help me through it too. You can't _do_ this. You can't just- just pass out and bleed until you nearly died. When I'm not there! You can't fall in _love_ with me and fucking do that to me."

Chloe's heart is beating through her chest, and she could hardly hear the beeping of the machine beside her get faster and the small alarm sounds on it. She hardly notices because Beca's there, staring at her, a look of panic on her face replacing the usual beautiful features she's accustomed to. Like she realizes what she had just done. And she deeply regrets it.

Chloe feels absolutely sick. She tries to say something but her brain and her mouth aren't sending the right signals, and in her haziness and dizziness, it's only moments away before she can feel herself going to throw up. It's all too much, black spots are starting to appear in front of her, and they're slowly replacing Beca's stark panicked face. And Chloe can see Beca's mouth saying things, and it looks like she's saying Chloe's name, but she doesn't hear a sound, just an indistinguishable buzz.

It all eventually goes black when she feels hands holding down her arms and vomit rising up her throat.

It hurts.

-Pandas-

Beca's told that Chloe will be out for at least another two or three hours. She's told that she can go get something to eat. She's told that she can go home if she wants. She's told that the drugs that Chloe's received to sedate her have caused spontaneous ventilation. She's told that the tubes going through her nose is normal.

 _It's not normal._

Normal is Chloe up and smiling and singing without her freaking the fuck out so much. She's laughing at all the sarcastic jokes that Beca makes, with a big smile and a hand on her stomach and one on her thighs, holding herself up through the happiness. The normal Chloe is not being held on by wires and needles and tubes and the last remaining bits of clean blood in her veins.

Beca's told that it's probably best if she gets something to eat. Chloe will be fine, she's just going to be asleep. Beca tried to explain to the nurse with short hair and tattoos that she needs to be there to hold Chloe's hand for the longest time. No, it doesn't matter if she's asleep. It's what they do. Why didn't she do it before?

But the nurse is kind and gentle, and pressures Beca to the elevator that takes them to the lobby and cafeteria. Beca steps out and the air suddenly stops smelling like antiseptic and blood, and there's the smell of coffee and flowers. It scares her that just a floor above, there are people dying. And they can't breathe. Chloe can't breathe right. That scares her most.

Aubrey meets her in the lobby fifteen minutes later, and despite the room being filled with vast amount of people bustling she feels ever so lonely. And she keep thinking about Chloe, and how much badly she wants to hold her right now. Beca's folded up in a small corner of a couch, and Aubrey takes the space beside her. She uncharacteristically pulls Beca to her side, gripping Beca's upper arm tight to make her feel safer.

In a slow and quiet voice she explains what happened to Chloe, and she doesn't even have the emotional strength to cry anymore. She's just so tired and she wants so badly for many things, that she doesn't even know which one is on top anymore. She imagines it's Chloe holding her instead of Aubrey, but Beca knows that it's not her. Aubrey smells different and her side doesn't perfectly fit Beca's side like Chloe's does. And she desperately tries not to focus on Aubrey's fingers that are moving against her skin. She knows she's savouring in the love of someone else, but it's been so long that she doesn't even care anymore.

They sit comfortably for several minutes, just watching people move, hoards of doctors and nurses and patients. Beca's eyes starts to feel droopy and Aubrey notices. She turns towards Beca, removing her arm so she can properly see her. Beca lightly jerks awake and rubs her eyes. She stills for a moment before asking, "You guys fell in love. Right?"

Beca stiffens for a second because somehow Chloe and her mutually agreed to not let anyone know. What was the point? They just wanted time to themselves. They were on a countdown, and what better than to just have it together. "Yea. Yea I think we did," Beca whispers back, and Aubrey nods, looking away before saying, "Is that- Is that okay with you?"

"I don't even know Bree. She just. She's- I just can't imagine doing anything else other than loving her."

"Is she okay with it?"

Beca runs a hand through her hair, "I mean I think she's okay with anything at this point, you know?" And yeah they both know. It doesn't really need to be spoken out loud. The bustle around the hospital speaks volume. Beca gets distracted and thinks about how there's too many plants in the lobby, like it's an ironic way to resemble life in a place where there's realistically really little.

"Okay." Aubrey said slowly, because she knows she's probably overstepping boundaries. "But I feel like you're not…"

"Well… I don't know really," Beca says, because what even is the point of lying. Why pretend that Chloe leaving doesn't break her, because this is deeper than friendship.

"Then why are you doing this to yourself Beca?" Aubrey asks, and Beca notes that Aubrey's slightly teary-eyed because she sounds so broken. And Beca knows it's because she hates to see them hurting more than they already are.

"What else am i supposed to do Bree?" Beca scoffs straightforwardly. Like it's the most simple question in the world.

"I- I don't know." Aubrey said, gripping the armrest and readjusting herself on the couch. "I know I said to reveal your feelings before but don't put yourself through this if it's _hurting_ you Beca."

Beca falls back into the corner a bit more and pulls her knees up to rest her chin on it. She feels a strange sense of calmness fall over her mind. Then it all comes out all then and there. "I wouldn't ever do that. I've never wanted anything else in my life than wanting Chloe to live. And she's not. She won't. And I haven't accepted that." Beca pauses, her eyes drawn in with unshed tears. "So, all I can do is love her. That's the only thing I can do to show that she means so much to me, that she's everything I need and want. Everything. All I can do is love her, so I'm going to do it. I don't care if it hurts me."

She finishes quiet, and there's still a weight on her chest but it's almost comforting. The pain keeps her from being numb at least.

It takes several minutes for Aubrey to respond, and Beca can hear the strenuous breath when she just whispers, "Okay. _Okay_."

Beca reaches for Aubrey's hand, and interlocked their fingers together before Aubrey pulled Beca to rest her head on her shoulder. And it's only seconds before Beca can feel Aubrey's chest shaking with tears, "I miss her already."

And Beca takes in a shaky breath, and tries to will the tears back up her cheeks. She can't say anything but she squeezes their fingers together. Beca finally manages a small noise of agreement from somewhere deep in her chest.

Aubrey pushes on, "Everyday feels like the worst day ever. I don't even know what to do anymore."

It's somehow quiet, like the world has stopped so that they could have this conversation in silence. And that's when Beca whispers, raw, and so absolute, "Everyday feels like it's the best day of my life." She pulls in another breath, "Everyday she's still alive is the best fucking day of my life."

And Aubrey cries hard against Beca. And Beca feels her heart beating painfully in her chest.

-Pandas-

Beca waits with tired eyes and cramps in her hand for Chloe to wake up. She hasn't let go of Chloe's hand in nearly two hours, but she's not going to let her wake up without them intertwined ever again.

Aubrey left Beca half an hour ago, deciding that Beca needs to be alone there when she woke up, but she told to let Chloe know that she was there and that she'll come to see her tomorrow.

Chloe is still hooked to the machines and there are wires piercing through her skin and tubes going in her nose. And Beca tries not to think about how that that's the only thing that's keeping her alive right now.

It's uneventful when Chloe finally woke up, and her eyes open into drowsy blinks. She looks so innocent and incredibly careful. When they lock eyes with Beca's, she breathes in the first lungful of air since Chloe had been given the sedative.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." Beca breathes out words, and she sounds so desperate against her own ears but she can't stop. "I'm so sorry Chlo. Please. I'm so sorry."

Chloe's mouth moves slow and languid, she gently squeezes Beca's fingers before saying, "It's okay. You're okay."

"No it's not." Beca pleads, and she takes her chair in closer towards the bed, so their faces are inches away. And Chloe's glassy eyes have never looked more beautiful, and her soft skin looks almost unearthly under the white UV lights of the hospital lights.

"It's okay. I promise." Chloe pushes, but her lip is trembling a litle and it giver her away.

Beca drops a little and presses a small kiss to a part of Chloe's neck, and then her collar bone. "You've been asleep for nearly four hours. They gave you a sedative. You're heart was beating too fast and now you're hooked up to an oxygen tank because your lungs aren't ventilating properly, and they said it was a more of a panic attack and I'm so-"

Beca stops mumbling when she feel Chloe's shaking hand rest on her shoulder blades, slowly rubbing it up and down. And then she realizes that Chloe can most likely feel the tears that she's letting down on Chloe's hospital gown.

"I'm okay."

"I know."

And Beca lets herself be touched for a moment, listening to the sounds of Chloe's breath and focusing on the fingers that trails her back. Then she makes sure she doesn't sounds anything, but squeezes Chloe's other hand, "I love you. I'm so glad I made the choice to love you."

Beca needs to make sure Chloe knows that anything she said before didn't mean shit. Saying that it's not fair for her to fall in love, it was all bullshit. it was when she was sad and angry at what's happening, and sometimes the wrong words come out. And they're not just wrong, it's not what she wants to say at all. And she can't even believe she had the audacity to say that to Chloe instead of telling her she lover her. They've wasted so much time already. Chloe brings up the hand on Beca's back and put it on the back of Beca's head, burying in the soft hair. "I love you too."

And it's as simple as that.

She lifts her head a bit, and Beca softly smiles. She ditched her shoes and climbs up into the space between Chloe and the edge of the bed, making it so Beca's pressed up into Chloe's side.

Her hand falls on top of Chloe's chest, and she can feel the deepness of Chloe's heartbeat. It's so steady, and slow. She can feel the small rise and fall of her chest. Her other hand is still holding onto Chloe's hands, gently tapping little beats with her index finger, matching it with her heartbeat. Her face is close to Chloe's face, and her lips brushes over the skin and Chloe turns her head slowly.

And she melts a little when Chloe's lips turn into a small smile. A smile that's just for her, just for this moment. "Let's go back to Barden." Chloe whispers out suddenly, but the words are still hung over her mouth like it's physically hard to get them out.

Beca's eyes search for Chloe's and they're both so tired, so maybe she'll pretend for a while. "Sure. Okay. We'll go as soon as you're discharged."

Chloe lets her eyes close for a moment and a tiny, but bright smile emerges from her face. She opens her eyes again to meet Beca's. "I'm going to take you to Barden. I miss it." Chloe mumbles and nearly delusional from all the drugs and lack of clean blood. Beca just _loves_ her so much in this moment.

Beca keeps tapping small beats but then now switches to her neck, "Okay tell me what you want to do there,"

She says that because she wants Chloe to keep talking. To keep saying things that she can now be conscientious to memory. She wants Chloe to say all the words she ever imagined, to remember everything about her. Even something specific as the way her mouth curls when she smirks to others.

"I'll take you to visit Emily and see how the Bellas are doing. It's nice, Legacy's doing a great job." Chloe smiles again, and Beca wants to imagine that this is happening in her mind. "I'll take you to the little cafe that served amazing coffee, and is run by the old couple. Mr. and Mrs. Collins would've missed us. They would probably give us that recipe for the cheesecake if we kindly asked."

Her sentences are short and slow. But they're filled with every intention that she wants Beca to feel, and it's all that she needs to say. Chloe pauses for a moment to press her lips on the side of Beca's mouth and take as much of the oxygen on her tube before continuing, "And there's this bench in a park. Behind Bree and mine's old apartment. I always used to see people kiss on it and I was so jealous of them. But not anymore, because I get it now. I want you to kiss me there. And to hold me until the stars come. They were so beautiful Becs,"

Beca relishes in the feeling of Chloe's mouth against her as she speaks, like she's too tired to move her back again. Beca doesn't care. Her chest feels small, like her heart's too big for it.

"It sounds incredible Chlo. I can't wait." Beca manages to get out, her voice impossibly hoarse.

And she kisses Chloe deeply, but she opens her mouth, breathing in Beca and everything around them, letting Beca take control. Their lips move together slowly, and although Chloe hooked on to an oxygen tube, they make it work.

Chloe falls back asleep with Beca's lips gently ghosting over hers. And both of them knows that it's enough.

* * *

A/N: Wow. 2 Months of absence. Wow. Wow. I'm so incredibly sorry. I hope you enjoy this long chapter though :) And thanks so much for people who still read this story. You people are awesome. By the way it was my birthday yesterday :D So enjoy an update as like a birthday treat from me. Hehe :) Also expect a oneshot within the spand of a week ahah.

 _Idontwritee: Ahaha I don't think I can take it too. :')_

 _Guest #1: OKAY :D_

 _AleKuroba: Sorry if that wasn't the sex scene you expected ahah. I thought it wouldve been more realisitic that way :P and dude we should catch up like really soon like while I'm still in Singapore. Thanks for waiting 2 months dude :P *heart emoji*_

 _Guest #2: Hehe okay I'll see what I can do_

 _xcombixgirlx: Thanks for the advice :) And haha many people want her to live, but maybe I'll do two endings. I don't know yet ahhha. Thanks for waiting :)_

 _ear spike witch: Ahha I will tell you now that Chloe will live. Maybe. ;) Thanks for waiting!_

 _bechloehuh47: Ahahah okayyy :)_

 _anonymous1397: Ahahh thank you so much :) I don't think my writing is that great though ahaha. Thanks for waiting! :)_

 _guitarkid: Oh yeaa, I have to write that don't I? Ahahah okay :) I'll make something work._

 _KC: Ahhaah, yea I love me some angst. ;) And thanks a lot! And thanks for waiting too :)_

 _Ahern747: Ahahah okayy I'll see later. ;) Thanks for waiting!_

 _MissCuddless: Aahaahah but I made people cry before, it isn't a new thing to do ;) Thanks for waiting :P_

 _Thelonewolf06: ahhahaha I'm a sucker for mushy things too and I'll consider it ;) Thanks for waiting! :)_

 _Guestie: Hhaaha everyone's suffering from a dying Chloe loll_

 _Zugzwang200: Aww thank you! And yea I'm leaning more towards two endings, but idk yet ahha. Thanks for waiting :)_

 _Somebody: IM BACK... AGAIN! And I'm sorry this chapter is so late ^^" And heyyy I'm not **that** evil. And thanks for sending two reviews to figure out where I am ahah, it's just stress and stuff loll :P Thanks so much for waiting! *heart emoji* :):)_

 _Guest #3: O-kay._

 _philosoz: hahah thank you! :) and thanks for waiting :D_

 _feistykleinemaus: Aww hahah thanks I aim to make people cry- I mean I aim to please. Ahaah. Thanks so much for waiting :)_

 _easylion: Aww I'm sorry that I made you cry XD_

 _Guest #4: Ahahah Ikr they need to._

 _Alexxxandria: AHah thank you so much! :) Also to answer your question Chloe is already too deep into the stage that the transfusion won't matter anymore. And thank you for waiting! :D_

 _Monya: Hahah thank you! And okay I'll see what I can do :)_

 _surfingXgirl13: Aahahah thanks! And I'm sorry this update took way longer than expected. Thanks for waiting though :)_

 _Guest #5: Ahahh thank you! :)_

 _Guess: AHahah I've made a lot of people cry lol hahah :P But I'll see._

 _nikkithegreat: Ahahah I don't think so, there are much more better writers out there than my silly story ahha. But thank youu! :) And thanks for waiting! :D_

 _Guest #6: Thanks for re-reading pal! :D_


	16. Can't Seem To Let You Go

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

A/N: Also I know next to nothing about Cancer, I'm basing this off of experience with a family member and wikipedia, so if something's wrong. _Please don't hesitate to tell me._

 ** _Guys! I encourage you to listen to this song while listening to this chapter._**

 ** _(In My Veins - Andrew Belle )_**

* * *

 **HOPING FOR TOMORROW**

* * *

Chapter 16: Can't Seem To Let You Go

 _Chloe's been bored out of her mind for the past weeks. Sitting in a hospital bed with the same scenery every time can get a little boring. So she forces Beca to take her outside with a wheelchair. And it took about ten minutes for Chloe to convince Beca she's 'healthy' enough to go outside. She doesn't know if she's offended or if she appreciates the sentiment. For now she's going to go with the latter._

* * *

"I don't like it," Beca says.

"It's okay Becs," Chloe smirks.

"It's not the same,"

"Of course it's not, we're in a different hospital."

"Yea but I get the vibe that it's bad different, you feel?" Beca explains.

"You're very hard to please,"

"Yea so be happy I like you Beale,"

Chloe reaches behind her head and lightly slapped Beca's hand that's pushing her on her wheelchair as they wander around the halls of the Oncology Ward.

"Hey now." Beca moves her hand, but that caused the wheelchair to turn and she gave out a slight squeak. Chloe laughed, and Beca laughed too but they were soon shushed by a nurse.

"See what I mean?" Beca rolled her eyes. Chloe giggled quietly and tipped her head back to kiss Beca's hand, she slapped with a sly smirk on her face, "I love you," Chloe whispers as she turns back.

It's still foreign to Beca, how easily Chloe can say that and how often she's been saying it. More publicly. Like she wants to say it as many times as possible. When Beca goes to get her water, when Beca fixes her pillows, when they're lying in bed together. It's nice though, in a weird, yet comforting way. Beca's so in love with Chloe, and knowing that the last thing that Chloe wants her to remember is that she loves her is very comforting. Yeah.

Beca wheels Chloe farther into the Ward and ends up to the entrance of the patient room. She'd never been to explore this hospital, often she's too sick or tired to go out of her room. Of course, today she wasn't anymore healthier or lively, but she just really wanted a change of scenery.

"It's nice," Chloe said when Beca stops at a large window that overlooks a park and the traffic.

"It's alright…" Beca sighs, wheeling Chloe closer to one of the recliners so Chloe could sit down on it.

Chloe laughs a little, "Stop being picky,"

"Pft. I'm never picky, I'm very… Easygoing," Beca smirked lightly as she moves around to the front of the wheelchair. She starts to put off Chloe's IV tubes from where they were hanging., and she places them on a pole that was near the recliner. She tries not to think about how easily her body moves, how she's forcibly gotten used to handling Chloe's fluids, tubes, wires, meds.

Chloe slowly tries to move out of the chair as she mumbles through laboured breath, "Your ego is flattering Mitchell,"

Beca immediately puts one hand steady on Chloe's back and the other hand on Chloe's hand. Beca pulls her up and moves her the rest of the way, and there's a small weight in her cheat when Chloe has to lean all her weight against Beca. And despite being so close to skin, there's still a heavier weight. And it sits tightly in Beca's chest.

Beca watches Chloe as she falls back into the plush, leather chair. The light from the windows painting her face gold, and Beca swears she could see a little red in her cheeks, which means there's a little part of Chloe that's healthy, _happy_. But Beca blinks and it's gone,'she's beautiful nonetheless' Beca thinks.

Beca watches Chloe closely. She watched as Chloe's dark eyelashes flutter against her pale face. She watched as Chloe's mouth opened just a little bit to regain her breath, as if the little move from the wheelchair to the recliner was the most strenuous thing she did all week. Beca watched her, as if trying to collect all the memories of her.

"How're you holding up?" Beca asks, out of instinct.

Chloe nods, and slowly reached to hold Beca's hand, "I'm great, you?"

Beca giggles a little, because Chloe's so adorably dense. She loves her so much. "I'm fine, thanks."

"Awes. How long do we have?" Chloe asks, reaching into her pocket for her phone.

"We have to be in the other ward at like 3:30, I think. For you know chemo," Beca replied, bringing her thoughts back to reality. She hates that palliative chemo's still necessary, because it's not doing anything. It's only taking away some of Chloe's pain, it's not solving anything. However, Chloe says it's a big help. So it's alright.

"So we have couple of hours then," Chloe mumbles, putting her phone back into her pocket. "Bree's coming around after for a bit,"

"Yeah I know. She texted me this morning asking when you're chemo will be finished,"

Chloe hums in response, she begins to play with Beca's fingers, "She has to leave by 7 though, do you know why?"

Beca goes rigid for a bit. Because she does know why, she was supposed to be going too, it was a Bellas and Trebles reunion. It was a big deal, but she never planned on going, especially in Chloe's state.

"Hmm?" Beca says, playing dumb, "I have no idea why,"

"Bullshit Becs," Chloe jokes, a smile toying around her voice but not letting it show on her face.

Beca huffs out a breath and looked down between their intertwined hands, "That isn't true. You just know me well enough to know,"

Chloe pauses a little bit, "Well you're probably right. But you're skipping this reunion to sit next to me for a few hours, and let's be honest I'll probably be asleep."

Beca opens her mouth but no words come out, but mutters out, "I'm not skipping it, you're just more important,"

"Shut up."

"No it's true. You're like more important than that times a hundred," Beca says seriously.

"You don't ever go out anymore," Chloe whispers.

"And I don't want to." Beca shrugs. "'Cause you're not there,"

"You can't decide if you're going to have fun or not by my presence," Chloe says.

"Well I can. Because I have fun with you Chlo. It's doesn't matter if it's in a hospital, at home, I just want to spend time with you. I honestly don't see any interest in being anywhere that's not with you." Beca says genuinely, her eyes wide.

Chloe just stares at Beca for a moment, like she's beginning to understand, then she gently tugs on Beca's hand, "Come here."

And Beca smiles softly and crawls into the space that Chloe's frail body left. Chloe's head drops into Beca's shoulder and her legs drapes over Beca's. And for the first time in probably a long time, Chloe has a look of peace on her face. And Beca wants to memorize it forever. She also sees a little bit of happiness in her.

Chloe is playing with Beca's fingers. And Beca's just watching her with a small smile on her face, because it's all so real. And Beca feels like this moment is never ending. And it always is when it's just the both of them, and knowing there's an impending force they're fighting against. They both know it's inevitable but they're comfortable. At least for now.

"At least I'll never get old," Chloe says with her youthful blue eyes staring at Beca, there's no sadness. "You know I never wanted to get old."

Beca just keeps smiling at her, watching the way that Chloe is quietly telling her to keep it light and keep it casual.

"It reminds me of a song," Beca says, moving to straighten her back so that they're face each other, she clears her throat, "Tonight, we are young. So, let's set the world on fire. We can be brighter than the sun…"

"Oh my god, stop. If you keep making jokes like that I hope the end is near." Chloe laughs sarcastically and throws away her hand in mock disgust.

Beca laughs also and her chest lightens, it's alright. It's okay, "See? You're like always so optimistic. No getting old, and getting wrinkles and yea, no old people's homes, and no more hearing my awful jokes and my voice,"

Once Beca said it out loud, they both freeze and the air's changed from light to suddenly getting to read. Beca nervously looks at Chloe's eyes from where they were stilled at their hands. Her heart pumps at how they're reflecting fear and realization, and now filling with tears.

"No more hearing you. Your voice." Chloe whispers quietly, nodding softly.

Beca feels a lump forming in her throat, "Chlo-"

"No. No it's cool. It's fine." Chloe says and there's a tears running down her cheek now, that's being wiped by her hand. "I've heard enough of your voice anyway. I've become to get bored of it.

But there's not a single truth behind those words and Chloe is crying softly, and it's so heartbreaking that all Beca can do is just stare as Chloe puts her hand over her mouth to stifle the tiny sobs. And then Beca just pulls Chloe into her chest, and rubs along her back, feeling the sobs rippling through her body.

"You're alright. You're okay." Beca says, into the top of Chloe's head as Chloe grips tighter into Beca's hand. And they just stay like that for a while.

-Pandas-

It's lucky that all of Chloe's files and such had been switched over to this hospital and she was completely and legally under their care. Because Chloe's not doing too good.

It started with this incongruous cough; unnerving and death-like. Making her fragile body this and curl up in the bed as much as it allowed. The doctor's picked up on it immediately and said they'd keep an eye on it. On her.

Beca stays awake every night with her, because there's no chance of her being able to sleep through the slow, and rough breaths and the stillness of Chloe's fingertips. Her first thought is that Chloe's not getting enough oxygen into her lungs,

She runs a small and shaking hand along Chloe's forehead as her body twists into itself and suddenly she's coughing and gasping for breath. And her eyelids are shut, and her dry lips quiver, trying to breathe in enough oxygen.

And in that moment Beca looks away from Chloe to the door, and by the time she looks back, the pillow is stained red. And there's blood in the side of Chloe's mouth. Just dripping.

It occurs to Beca that she can no longer hear Chloe gasping and the noise. It's just silence. It's another few seconds before she could react, her brain is shocked into paralysis. Her thoughts are connecting in slow and short sentences. In the back of her head she recognizes the morning light coming from the windows in the room.

' _Chloe isn't breathing. Chloe isn't getting oxygen. Chloe is suffocating. Chloe is coughing up blood. Chloe is suffocating and isn't breathing. Because of the blood in her mouth. I need to get the blood out. I need a doctor. I need to get a doctor. Get a doctor!_ ' Beca's thoughts processes.

It all happens in slow motion Beca thinks, with one hand she presses the red button on the wall over and over again. The other hand steady on Chloe's face, trying to put her into a position where she can get even a breath of air into her lungs. And Chloe's still not breathing. ' _Why isn't she breathing?!'_

Beca feels a hand on her shoulder, and one on her hand, pulling her gently but quickly out of the way. And she can't even hear herself saying, "There's blood. Everywhere. And she's not breathing. She can't breathe."

There's shuffling happening in the space and the wall, and Beca's shoulders keep hitting other people as she's moved out of the room and people are moving in. Eventually she walks around the corner that she can no longer see Chloe, just glimpses of deep red and light blue scrubs.

And as a nurse gently places her into one of the chairs in the hallway, sinking into the soft fabric, it sticks to her skin, she's sweating although she swears she's freezing; because my god she's shaking so badly. There's a nurse leaning down towards her, and she seems like she's speaking to her but Beca can only hear vague and muted sounds. Like she's underwater, and her ears are burning , like the beginnings of passing out.

The nurse crouches down in front of her and gently pushes Beca into a weird sitting position, and Beca can barely hear her say, "Can you breath in and out for me, nice and deep. You'll be fine in a second, let's just get that blood moving into your head again. Can you understand me?"

Beca only manages to nod her head slowly, then she looks down at the floor that's so clean and smells too much of bleach.

The nurse places her hand on Beca's back, and it's warm and comforting, "Okay good. You just let me know when you're feeling alright and we'll sit you back properly again okay?"

Beca can't seem to find her voice, but rasps out a small, "Okay." And then she's taking a few more deep breathe and her head's beginning to clear. And then when she's feeling a little better, she pushes up in her seat against the nurse's hand. The nurse keeps her hand on her back first as she crouches into her side.

"Feeling better?" She asks quietly.

Beca nods, "Yea, thanks."

"Let me know if you aren't, because I imagine you felt pretty close to passing out like just now," She says comfortingly, her eyes glossed over Beca's face, and Beca registers that she looks around her mid-thirties, noticeable features, brown eyes, and her short hair pinned back.

"Yeah I did for a bit," Beca says.

There's silence for a bit and Beca's staring at Chloe's door, just a couple of metres to her left. She can't hear much in there, just vague talking, she can't make out what they're saying. She figures there's got to be at least one doctor in there and a couple of nurses. She feels a little sick again and takes a deep shaking breath.

"She'll be fine. All they have to do is clear her airway. And she'll be completely A-Okay," The nurse says as she notices Beca staring at the door.

Beca almost scoffs, "No she won't be A-Okay. She won't be suffocating but she won't be fine." It's a little short and she almost regrets saying that. But it's true, and Beca doesn't do sugar-coating.

The nurse sighs, "Of course. But she'll be a bit better, and that's good. No matter how small." She crosses her legs and leans forward a bit to capture Beca's attention, "And now the doctors in charge of her will definitely look at what's wrong. I'm assuming it's the lungs though."

Beca just nods silently, and it's quiet again before Beca's curiosity took over.

"What happened?"

"The nurse adjusts her position, "Well I have a couple of guesses. It's hard not knowing a couple of from what I've seen over the past few days? weeks? And just now, I'd say that it's a lung infection maybe. Possibly pneumonia, tuberculosis might also be an option. But I wouldn't say ARDS, but you never know. Those don't cause bleeding though, but because of her Leukemia her vessels are weak as is the blood. And all that coughing was bound to rupture something," The nurse finished.

Beca takes another deep breath. Because God she's panicking, her knee is jumping up and down and without her realizing a lump is forming in her throat and she knows it won't move for a couple of days. She's just wants this to stop. Just stop.

There's so much things working against her these days that she doesn't know how she's keeping it all up.

And it's a thought that pervades her now that these types of moments are the ones where she's just not.

Chloe certainly isn't.

Beca goes to wipe her hands across her eyes, and she stretches her fingers, already missing the way Chloe's held her. She notices the blood that is on it now, as she was moving Chloe just now.

She flattened her palms out and there's a small drip of blood that drops onto the floor from her hand. And another. And another. Her stomach turns and she's suddenly fighting against her body to not scream and cry.

The nurse beside her moves into the nurse's station just a couple of metres off to their right. She grabs on gloves and a few paper towels. She came back to Back and softly touches her shoulder. "You alright to stand? I just need to wipe this blood of you okay?"

Beca just nods again. It seems to be all that she's doing these days. There's a hand on her waist and one holding both her hands as she's pulled up on her shaking legs.

The warm water and soap feels good on her dried, pale hands. Not enough sunlight and not enough nutrients. She hasn't been taking good care of herself for the last few weeks. She knows this. She knows it all too well. But there's just a mental block against picking up a few fresh fruits or heading out for a walk. Because Chloe used to scold her for not doing so. And these days Chloe can't hold on to her consciousness enough to notice anything except to tell Beca she loves her and to listen to Beca speak.

Once the blood is all gone, and draining into a red dye into the sink, she dries her hands on the rough paper towels and just stands at the basin located inside the nurse's station. And for the first time in a long time Beca looks at herself. Her cheeks are a little more hollow, the bags under her eyes are becoming darker, her eyes are almost always bloodshot and there's blue creeping onto her lips. She realizes that she's not in great a shape, nothing too drastic but my god. She's fucking fading without Chloe. And she's not even gone yet.

She turns away and inhales deeply. It shakes against her throat when she exhale and she wants to cry. She just wants to cry. But she can't for some odd reason, like she has some sort of block. Or she's just tired. She doesn't know anymore. But there's this ache in her throat where she feels all the love she holds stretching.

"When can I see her?" Beca whispers ruggedly, leaning against the wall for support.

The nurse bit her lower lip a little, "I don't know, the doctors shouldn't be too much longer. They will let you know. And I'm sure Dr. Neal will have to talk to them also. As she is still technically in charge of Chloe's treatment. Even if she's not from this hospital,"

Beca nods again, and it is really all she can do these days. Talking hurts. Questions more. They bring information and truth that leave scars. And she doesn't like that.

-Pandas-

Beca is curled up in a chair in the hallway. She positioned herself enough so that she's facing Chloe's door but far away enough so she can't hear the talking behind it. Every now and then the doctor and nurses enter and exit the door, but the never have any new information about Chloe.

It's always the "Oh, we won't be long now," and "We're just doing a little testing" and "The doctor will be out shortly to talk to you,"

It's been nearly an hour before the door opens and more than one person exits, and behind one of the nurse is Chloe's bed, and Beca's heart starts to beat fast as she stood up from her chair. And she moves slowly towards them with trembling legs and aching feet.

The bed is being wheeled her way, and she can make out Chloe's figure lying flat on her back. And for the first time there're tubes shoved down her mouth and into her throat. The clear plastic and blue connections, leaving her mouth open too wide and the sound of the machine attached to the side of the bed breathing _for her_ in the worst possible way. It sounds to mechanized to be her real breaths. And suddenly Beca's missing the rattling and willing the sounds back.

She reaches for the side of Chloe's bed as the nurse pause, shutting the door behind them. Without warning a whimper slips through her lips. She grips on the bed rails as if her life depended on it, her knuckles are turning white.

"What- What's happening?" Beca asks in frantic breaths. It's fast and panicked, she sounds so jittery she feels like ants are crawling up her skin.

She feels a hand grip on her shoulder, and she looks away from Chloe for just a moment to see who it is, "You're Beca Mitchell?"

"Yep. Yea. That's me." She says quickly, a little too quickly. She just wants to know what's going on and why Chloe can't breathe and where are they taking her?

The woman was a doctor she'd never seen before, possibly new, she looked at least twenty years older than her and Chloe. Graying hair and soft lines across her face. "We're just taking Chloe for a chest x-ray, just to check out a few things, but why don't you and I have a talk in that room. Is that okay?"

Beca can't look away from Chloe as she's starting get wheeled down the corridor, but the hand on her shoulder keeps her from moving. Chloe's hand twitches in her sleep and Beca wants to immediately hold it. To tell her she's here. She's here.

She sheds no tears as she's led the opposite way into a room with a table in the middle, and shutted windows. She sinks into the chair across from the doctor whose name plaque says 'Dr. Maslin' and stares at her hands waiting for her to say something. There's tiny traces of blood in her fingernails and she begins to pick at them nervously.

Dr. Maslin sighs loudly as she opens up Chloe's file, "Now, I'm sure you can guess that Chloe's condition is… Very serious. And I hate to say that it's getting worse."

Beca glances up and swallows a gulp, it's hard to hear it said out loud like that. It scares her, that to all the doctors here, Chloe's just another dying patient being put into their care. And for her, it's the complete opposite, Chloe's just about everything that's important.

With no response she continues, "We've had to intubate her as her lungs aren't creating enough oxygen for themselves anymore. She was developing hypoxemia, it was the bleeding and airway blockage that pushed her lungs to their breaking point. We've done tests for her and came up with the conclusion that she has a mild tuberculosis. It's mild but with Chloe, it can progress quicker than someone who's healthier."

Beca took a deep breath, because she was expecting that, but it still hurts.

"Well, what happens? What are you going to do?" Beca mutters out, running a hand through her hair and then leaning forward to place her elbows on her knees.

"Dr. Neal, whom I've contacted, and I, have decided that we're going to put Chloe in medical isolation. Only for a few days until she's recovered. But as of now, her body is extremely vulnerable. The slight chance of a new infection or the progression of the TB is something we can't risk." Dr. Maslin says, her voice calming, as if she wants Beca to understand what's happening and to stop moving her foot up and down anxiously.

"Do you know how long?" Beca asks, because her mind is already clouded with thoughts of not being able to touch Chloe, to not be able to properly see her, not talk to her or hold her hand when she's conscious; it already makes her heart ache.

"Hmm, I'm not sure yet. But it won't be any longer than a week. All we need to do is pump the infection out of her system. Because right now, she's going through immunosuppression, and I'm guessing you don't know what that means so I'll just skip that," she explains, and Beca almost smirks, almost. "I don't understand how she got this infection in the first place. She shouldn't have. But I guess when sometimes you're as sick as Chloe is, it's hard to prevent stuff like these from happening."

"So why is Chloe getting a chest x-ray?" Beca moves on from the topic.

"Just for testing, to see how far the TB has spread, and to give her the antibiotics she needs, depending on how serious it is." Dr. Maslin explained. Beca exhales loudly, and rests her back on the chair.

"Isolation is just a few halls down, it's closer to the elevators, I'll have a nurse take you there when Chloe's done."

Beca's eyes furrowed a bit, and her eyes widen, "Wait a minute, I won't be able to see her before?"

Dr. Maslin pauses a bit before speaking very softly, "I'm sorry, but no. We have to take her there as soon as possible."

"So wait. I won't get to see her, touch her or talk to her for a week?" Beca asks, her voice already shaking, and getting louder. She just wants Chloe. Why's that so hard for them to understand.

"No, you'll be able to talk to her, there's a phone that connects the inside to the outside and there are windows surrounding the room so you'll be able to see her." Dr. Maslin said, speaking so soft and assuring that it's almost infuriating to Beca.

"No! I won't be able to talk to her! She's got tubes shoved down her fucking throat, how the hell is she gonna answer a 'phone'? And I don't want to see her from a window. I want to sit beside her," She rubs her eyes with her fingers and covers them. "This fucking sucks ass."

There's a moment where Dr. Maslin let's Beca cool down a bit as she presses her hands into her eyes, hard. Beca tries to clear her head, and tries very hard not to snap like that again. "I'm sorry, I know you're only meaning well. I just, I don't know anymore Doc."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, I really can't imagine how hard this is for you, and her." She says back.

And yeah. No one could understand the way she felt right now.

-Pandas-

It ends up being another five days that Beca gets called back into Dr. Maslin's room. And this time Dr. Neal is there with them. She was sitting with Aubrey in the small break room, used only by staff, but she's in there so much that they took pity on her and let her use it too. She sits where she's angled that she can see Chloe's room, and there is Chloe. She's no longer intubated, but she's using an oxygen thing, which she learned is called a cannula attached to her again. And there's so many wires and tubes entering her skin, that Beca lost count at how many there are. It was all antibiotics and IVs and Fluids, that they say is working. They say she'll be out of isolation by tomorrow if everything is as planned. She's still sick though.

Beca spends most of her time sitting in the break room, or on the few chairs just outside Chloe's room. She knows it's a bit sad, pathetic even, but what else is she meant to do? She can't leave her by herself.

It's not become an option to go home for a few days or hours even, to work on mixes or work. It's not worth it anymore than what's behind those glass windows. That's her life now. Chloe is her life now.

So when she's dragged into Dr. Maslin's room again, a place where she's now accustomed to hear bad news, she slumped into one of the plush chairs opposite Dr. Neal and Maslin.

"It's nice to see you again Beca," Dr. Neal says kindly, and she is smiling, even if it's just small smile. She only makes it to this hospital on occasions like these, where there is something important to discuss.

Beca smiles softly back at her, "You too Doc."

Dr. Neal continues to smile but it drops as soon as she looks at Chloe's file in front of her. She places her hand on the side of her head and took a few breaths before speaking, "You do know how serious this is getting for Chloe, don't you Beca?"

Beca instinctively slumps her shoulders and bites her nails, before she slowly says, "Yea…"

"Well I came today to let you know that this has become way too serious. And to let you know what's coming so it's not quite a surprise like the TB." Her voice is chipped for the last part as she side glanced towards Dr. Maslin who in turn looks away.

Beca just stares ahead towards Dr. Neal and nods, very slowly, because maybe dragging this out will be enough so that no more words have to be said.

"Well, she only has a number of weeks. Two months at most." Dr. Neal says quietly, moving her glasses to the top of her head. "With the infections and the lung not functioning properly and the cancer, it's- it's a lot. And it's progressing faster than we anticipated."

Beca moves her gaze into her lap and played with her bit fingernails, and trembling hands. Suddenly she's crying. She hasn't cried in days, she hasn't had the strength to. But now when it's all said out loud, and there's just silence, her chest hurts. She nods though, in response.

"I'm so sorry Beca." Dr. Neal waits a few moments before continuing, "I just thought that you'd like to know, so you can call her family and arrange stuff,"

She looks over to her and her lips pursed into a small smile, despite her cheeks covered in tears, "Yeap. Thanks." She whispers. "For everything. We couldn't have had a better doctor."

-Pandas-

For the rest of the day, it was both Aubrey and Beca who calls Chloe's family. It turns out to be the hardest thing either of them ever did. How do you even tell a parent that their daughter is dying, and only has at least two months to live?

Yeah. It was hard.

-Pandas-

When Chloe wakes up for the first time that she's out of isolation, it was just Beca there. Like every other time. Like at home, and Chloe just woke up from a long nap and Beca's scolding her and telling her that sleeping too long isn't good for her, and asking "How are you even going to sleep tonight?"

She doesn't say that this time though. And when Beca sees the blue eyes staring into her, she lays her head down on the bed sheets next to Chloe's hand. She keeps her head there until she's dizzy, and there's a bad headache behind her eyes.

"You're okay. It's alright." Beca whispers slowly and Chloe can barely hear it. But she just lifts her hand slowly and places it on top of Beca's head, and keeps it there.

Eventually Beca lifts her head up, with stinging red eyes and wet cheeks. She leans up to kiss Chloe on the lips, just touching and no pressure.

She traces her fingers lightly along Chloe's forehead, just to touch her properly again. And it's so enough right now.

There's a tiny sound and an inhale of breath, and then Chloe mumbles out, "You okay?"

And Beca almost wants to laugh, because even in a deathly-ill state Chloe is still Chloe. Always caring for the other person even if they're fucking sick. It's ridiculous. But God, she loves Chloe so much. So with a tiny, smile on her face, she replied, "Yea. I'm fine, you?"

Chloe's lips smiles a bit, and her fingers began to softly play with Beca's, "No, seriously Becs. You okay?"

And Beca's smile falls. Because no she's far from being okay. Maybe this isn't the time to lie. What more is there to lose anyway?

"No. Not I'm not okay."

"I thought so." Chloe said quietly, breathing a little deeply, she feels like crying but she can't, "But I want you to be."

Beca just stares down at their hands, and watches as Chloe's slow fingers connect with her own. She's twisting and turning it, and it seems like it's her only concentrated movement right now. She doesn't remember what being okay feels like anymore.

"Hey Becs. You have to promise you'll be okay," Chloe whispers softly. Like she knows that it's incapable that Beca would be okay. To leave without causing a turmoil in her life.

"I can't." Beca mumbles back, because fuck it. She's too tired to lie, to keep up this strong armor. Even though she knows that's what Chloe would like.

There's a few moments of silence as Chloe breathes deeply. This feeling of control is too much to handle, and to know she can't do anything, she can't get better, she can't _love._ She can't not know that she's going to leave Beca here. Hurting.

And then Chloe turns her head, adjusting her cannula. She stares into Beca's eyes and there's the dark navy blue she gets so lost in. But it's so vague and weak these days, that Chloe doesn't remember it's original colour. It's still so incredible though, like there are secrets deep in them, that Chloe didn't have a chance to explore. She looks at Beca for a few moments, just taking her all in. Then she says, "Hey, can you play 'Titanium' at my funeral?"

Beca's chest tightens and she takes in a shaking breath, because of course Chloe's thought of the funeral, there's no way she wouldn't. But it's all been like a far memory and unreal, but now Chloe talking about it.

"Yeah. Yeah of course." Beca says, "Of course I can,"

Chloe nods, and then smiles peacefully. It's only a small tight-lipped smile, but it's there and it's fighting through her pain. And honestly, Beca can't imagine to ask for anything else better right now.

"I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose," Chloe half sings, half says through that smile, "Fire away, fire away,"

Beca can't help but join her, and they sang together, "You shoot me down but I won't fall," And Chloe is just saying the words, not having enough air to sing right now. "I am Titanium,"

And Beca's voice cracks on the last few syllables, and there's now a tear running down her cheek. But Chloe's still got that tiny smile, and she's accepted that it's coming. And she can't help but think that it's about time. After months of denial and hatred and angst, she doesn't have to deal with it anymore.

She looks to Chloe, as Chloe stares into Beca's eyes. She grips Beca's sweatshirt's sleeve, and Beca thinks this is all she ever wants. To not be left somewhere without Chloe, and she can't imagine a worse reality. She's torn between keeping quiet for Chloe, and wanting to just scream out her frustrations and anger, and to tell her that she can't keep being sick. She can't talk about dying and funerals and how long she's got left, because it's all eating Beca's insides. And it makes her want to tear down the last few frail walls she has left with Chloe, and just be.

-Pandas-

The second most difficult thing that Beca's ever done is watching Chloe's family say their goodbyes to her.

She just sits in the recliner in the corner of the room, as it fills with crying people. It goes on for over a week. She never wants to interrupt, she doesn't plan on staying in the room while everyone, even her distant uncles and aunts, to Chloe's own brother visit her; but it's hard to leave when every time there's a new knock on the door, Chloe just grips her hand tighter. Because she gets the message. She hates it too.

She hates to sadness and the pity. And if there was one thing she wanted to do her whole life, it was to make people feel. That's why she got into music, into DJing. To make people happy, to smile and feel. And what better way is there if not through music? And now, one glance at Chloe's sick stat, there are tears and unfulfilled promises that's mostly cut off by sobs. It's a lot.

Chloe stays quiet most of the time. She pretends to be asleep if she doesn't have the strength to talk to people. Which happens more often as the days go by, she more tired, fatigued, drifting away.

So Beca just watches people travel in and out of the room. She watched people come and then they go.

And in the end she stays.

-Pandas-

It's been two days since anyone except Beca and Aubrey had seen Chloe, everyone else is home or scattered in hotels taking a break from the hospital. It's nearly sunset, and the sky is turning from blue to yellow and orange pretty soon.

Chloe pulls out her cannula out of her nose with a trembling hand, She places it underneath her chin, and gently squeezes Beca's fingers to get her attention.

"Hey, hey, what do you think you're doing?" Beca says, trying to put back the tubes into Chloe's nose. But Chloe shook her head slowly, and she's already taking heavier breaths.

"I can't talk with it well. It's irritating," Chloe whispers out so soft, that Beca has to lean forward more to listen to her speak. Beca then nods and puts the thing back underneath her chin, then places her head beside Chloe's cheek so that they won't stop touching.

And Beca doesn't ever want to think about all the times that she can't touch Chloe, or feel her anymore. make her feel warm and safe inside, despite sometimes it's too cold or too hot, she doesn't ever want to let go. Chloe leans into the touch and a soft breath escapes her lips, her eyes close for a few moments and then she says, "Hey do you remember I used to watch those cancer survival videos?"

Beca tilts her head a bit so she can almost see Chloe, her eyes are rimmed deep and bruised with purple, looking nothing more like they want to be closed. But Chloe keeps on speaking, quietly, "Well I saw a person who didn't quite make it and he wrote a letter to his wife. And she opened it when he died." Chloe finished, and she's turned towards Beca, her breath heavy, almost like she has to fight for every inhale and exhale.

Beca's already struggling with the conversation, but she places her hand on Chloe's shoulder, rubbing softly at the skin there. She just nods and hums so that Chloe will know that she wants to hear more, even if in the smallest of ways she doesn't.

Chloe takes Beca's hand from her shoulder and brings it towards her chest. She's shaking and she's starting to feel in the effects of not having the oxygen pumped through her. "I wasn't going to do it, I was going to tell you everything I wanted when I still can but then I tried to imagine what it was like if I were you, and I decided that I'll do it. Because I can't imagine living without something to hold on to."

Beca bites her lip as it starts trembling, and her throat burns painfully trying to keep her tears in, but she's just nodding because it's easier and it's hard to think about doing anything else because now it all hurts. And fucking hell, she's not ready to say goodbye yet.

Chloe winces as she turns slightly to reach over for an envelop on her bedside table. Beca's hand is still ghosting over her chest, and she doesn't want to let go. And as soon as Beca's hands hit the paper, it feels like it contains more than just paper and ink.

"So, I just want to give you that, as a reminder of me. You can open it after, you know." Chloe says, and her breath is so heavy and laboured that Beca can't help but reach down and place the cannula back into her nose. Her own breath falters as a tear falls down.

Beca wipes it away and before she can even think about what she's going to say, she blurts out, "I don't want to open it. I don't want you to leave. I never want it to have an after."

Chloe smiles at Beca and there are tears clouded in her eyes, "You'll be okay Bec. If anyone will be alright, I trust that it's you. You have to remember that okay?"

Beca's shaking her head and a faint sob escapes her lips from her throat and it _hurts._ It all hurts. She can't speak, so she lifts herself up from the chair and tries to tell Chloe to make space for her on the bed. Chloe nods and tries to move over but her whole body shudders with pain as the immense ache only manages her to shift her legs. She's become too weak.

Beca tries to keep the tears at bay when she reaches over Chloe to help lift her body, Chloe winces through the pain in her bones. She climbs onto the bed and rests on her side, because Chloe has tipped her head to her side to face her. Chloe reaches up and traces her hand along Beca's collarbone, her fingertips cold against Beca's warm skin.

"Talk, please," Chloe rasps out. That's also become a habit, where they just lie together, and Chloe only has enough strength to listen and Beca's become good at having a soft voice and kind words.

All the other times, she hasn't talk about anything serious. It's mostly just Chloe's lullaby, to be able to hear Beca's voice just speaking to her softly as if they've got all the time in the world. Beca mostly tells her what their friends are upto, the news she read on her phone, or she'll review some of the new songs that came out and tell her what's wrong or what's she likes about it. But there's no facade now, and it's all become very real. So with a death letter in hand and a beautiful girl in front of her, she talks, "You know I think we'd have such a cool future together."

And she almost sounds sad, but that's mostly because that her throat constricts every five seconds that she's reminded that this is real. And it's happening. But she trudges on because Chloe closes her eyes and smiles properly in preparation to hear this story.

"We'd be really cool" Beca continues, "Don't you think so? We'd buy a house together, and get out of your dingy apartment, preferably here in LA. In a few months you'll come home with a pet, a dog or a cat, and frankly I would be angry at you for both. But deep inside you'll know that I'm not mad. And you won't even pick the cute little puppies and kittens, you'd pick the one that you think that's really loving in the adoption center. And in order for us to have an agreement, you'll let me name him or her." She's gotten quieter now, and she's talking right into Chloe's earnest face. And neither of them know if this is the feeling of joy or pain. "You'd probably propose to me in the most cliche way possible. Probably that place near Barden that you've always wanted to take me to. And our wedding. Our wedding would be such a cool one Chlo." Beca says, and Chloe smirks lightly. "It'll just be a massive party that goes on all night, and every one of the Bellas would be there. You'd look beautiful in your wedding dress. And we would dance till the sun comes up, and sometime during the night the dancing would probably moved to the bedroom," Beca winks at Chloe and Chloe lightly scoffs at her. Before continuing, Beca just looks down at Chloe and sighs.

"I don't know if we'd adopt or get a donor, but our kids would be amazing. And I know I said I never want kids, but Chlo you'd be such a good mom. That it would be such a shame to put those skills to waste no?" Her voice cracks a little on those last few words, "You'd be so great because the way you love is so special and I can't wait to share this love with someone else who deserve your love. And we'd fight all the time about laundry, and you feeding the pet from the table or putting our kid in horrible clothing. Just little dumb stuff like that."

Beca wants those little dumb stuff so badly. She wants to have a cool life with Chloe and they've had so much going on in their life that all she wants is to settle down and just slow down a bit.

"We'd have a great life." Beca whispers. And she feels her chest tighten and her eyes strain when she sees Chloe's face fall and she knows it's because Chloe thinks she taking it all away from her by being this way. So she says quietly, tracing her fingers on Chloe's cheek, "But you've given me the best life already. Please remember that."

Chloe nods slowly and smiles, small and insecure, "You too."

-Pandas-

It's only a couple of hours later where Chloe's parents are back to check up on her. Beca has gone home for a bit to get clothes and food, while Chloe has her parents and close relatives there with her. She placed Chloe's letter in the car seat next to her and now that she's back in the hospital, she's looking at it and it seems to be boring a hole straight through her heart. She grips the steering wheel tighter and she feels that she has lost Chloe already.

And that's close enough. So she opens the envelope that contains the letter inside. She sees Chloe's hand writing but a little shaky, half in cursive and half not, and it looks like Chloe all right.

It takes Beca's eyes a few moments to focus on the letter. And read.

 _Beca,_

 _One day you're going to wake up at three in the morning without me beside you._

 _You'll be alone. And you can't text or call me._

 _You'll miss me and you'll start to cry._

 _Because one day you're going to wake up at three in the morning when I'm not beside you, but miles and miles away._

 _And I want you to know that we had something. Something that not even death can separate._

 _And know that when you wake up that morning, know that I miss you too._

 _You deserve the world and more Beca. You've been so nice and your love is unimaginable._

 _But please don't hold back on love._

 _Break down more walls Beca, don't build any more._

 _Because I don't want you to resist happiness because of me._

 _And when you think of me, just know that I'll be so happy when you've found another._

 _Please Becs. Love._

 _I may be temporary. But my love for you isn't. And that isn't something death gets to determine._

 _I love you. With all my heart and soul._

 _Chloe B._

And as Beca finishes reading the last parts of the letter, her eyes become glossy again. And she can never think Chloe is temporary. Her body, maybe. But not her at all. Not Chloe. She's eternal. She's her light, and laughter and fire, and anything but temporary.

Beca hears herself cry. And she's so conscious of it, the struggling breaths and deep sobs coming from her that become uncontrollable. And she's hunched over the steering wheel with the letter in hand. And the feeling of losing control, losing somebody.

It's almost too much for Beca.

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A/N: Okay. It's 4am and I almost gave up. But you guys deserve this. I'm so sorry. For both how long you had to wait and about how this chapter turned out. Last chapter comes out next week Thursday or Friday? And epilogue comes out next week Sunday. And if there's like a demand for another ending then I'll probably write that next month-ish? Yea. See ya guys! And if you wanna talk to me about anything really review below or my tumblr is the same thing as my username. I'm going to get sleep now. Good Night!

 _Bechloeiscannon: Thank you! I'm sorry you had to wait so long!_

 _FaithSlayerL: I hope you didn't cry too much this chapter, sorry for the wait. :)_

 _xcombixgirlx: Thanks for the bday wish! And sorry you had to wait so long._

 _Guest 1: Omg. Wait are you okay? You have A.L.L too?_

 _Guest 2: No her cancer's progressed too much for Beca to be her donor. Thank you for enjoying the story :)_

 _Guest 3: Wowowow a threat. I guess I'm going to die then xD_

 _Thelonewolf06: No noono nono I would never abandon this story. I'm so sorry._

 _CapAmerica21: Ahhaah i'm sorry for the wait and for this chapter, and thank you for the compliment! :)_

 _kaymarb: Wow thanks! Glad you're enjoying the story :)_

 _Liv: I would say it's both? Sad and Happy ending. And aww thanks! love you too :)_

 _Somebody: I owe you big time. Dude I would love for you to post that story, don't worry. And I'm sorry you spent your thanksgiving at McDonalds. Thanks so much for keeping up with me. I just... I have no words. Im sorry._

 _GoodEnough96: Wow the best? I don't think I'm the best but thanks so much! Sorry for the wait :)_

 _eac47: Ahahah thanks! You'll have to find out next week! :)_

 _AmericanGray: I hope you didnt cry too much! Glad to see you're enjoying the story! :)_

 _Guess: Wow thanks xD And don't worry I get so many mixed emotions in my reviews ahah._


	17. Preview (I'm sorry)

A/N: HI HI HI! DO NOT WORRY I HAVE NOT ABANDONED THIS STORYYY IT'S JUST HARD FOR ME TO WRITE A GOOD ENDINGGG T^T for serious tho i'm really sorry that this update is taking so long, like at first I thought that I would post 2 chapters but then I didn't want to so the chapter is now at 10,000 words AND ITS NOT DONE YET. SOooOOOSOOOooo I've decided to give you guys a preview ;)) AND THE ACTUALY CHAPTER IS GONNA BE POSTED SOMETIME NEXT WEEK CUZ I DONT THINK I CAN STAND MAKING YOU GUYS WAIT THAT LONG T^T Im sorryyy. SOOO ENJOY THIS LITTLE PREVIEWWW! (dont kill me)

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 **Preview Chapter**

But as they were about to go, and Chloe was about to fully submit to sleep, she hears a familiar voice pop in from the front of the room, "Knock Knock? Can I come in?" Followed by two quick knocks on the door.

Chloe breathes out a small, "Yeah," and Beca has to follow up with a "She says yeah,"

And Chloe finally pieces the voice with a face. Dr Neal comes around to her side of the bed and has a small smile on her face. She hasn't heard from the doctor for a couple of months, and she didn't dress in a doctor's attire with her labcoat, she's dressed pretty casually. Chloe hasn't heard much from her since she switched hospitals, but she's still Chloe's primary caretaker/doctor.

Beca and Aubrey makes small talk with the doctor, and Chloe learns that Dr Neal just got off from work and drove straight here to see Chloe. Chloe wracks her brain to the last time she saw Dr Neal and there hasn't been any need for face to face contact between two of them.

Until now apparently.

-Things are said hereee-

"I want to speak with you." And there's a small pause where Chloe takes a small glance towards Beca, "Alone. Please."

Dr Neal nods, and meets eyes with Beca. But Beca just starts frantically shaking her head, and her face resembles one of a panic setting and her eyes are rimmed with tears, and her hands shaking too. "No. No. I'm staying, Chloe, I'm staying," she turns to look at Chloe and she adds forcefully, "I'm staying."

Chloe still hasn't turned to look at her but she looks at Dr Neal trying to beg silently to make her go because this conversation can't happen while she's inside. There's no way.

Dr Neal took the hint and took a breath, "Beca. Please leave the room. I need to talk to Chloe, my patient, alone." When Beca doesn't move, half through stubbornness and half because of confusion, Dr Neal sighs and looks at the floor, "I don't have a choice Beca. I have to abide to my patient's wishes, and if she wants to speak to me alone, you should _respect_ that."

-INSERT DRAMA HERE-

"Chloe! I am going to have to live every fucking day of my life, regretting and knowing that you could have been beside me. But you're not. And I don't know how I'm going to cope with that. Tell me Chlo, how am I supposed to do it? _You_ think you're the only one that's tired? I am fucking _exhausted_." Beca cries.

-SOMETHING HAPPENS-

"I'll do it." Chloe says.

"What?" Beca gasps.

"I love you. And I'm sorry."

* * *

A/N: JUST BE PATIENT FOR 4-5 MORE DAYS AND IT WILL COME. DO NOT WORRY! :DD (im sorry, it's early in the morning and im dying."


	18. Final Decision

Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters. And if somehow this is realistic, I apologize in advance. This is purely a work of fiction.

Trigger Warning: Serious Illness, Cancer.

A/N: Also I know next to nothing about Cancer, I'm basing this off of experience with a family member and wikipedia, so if something's wrong. _Please don't hesitate to tell me._

 ** _Guys! I encourage you to listen to this song while listening to this chapter._**

 ** _(In My Veins - Andrew Belle )_**

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 **HOPING FOR TOMORROW**

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Chapter 17/18: Final Decision

" _I Love Her."_

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 _(in case you skip author's note: pls listen to In My Veins by Andrew Belle if you can while reading. pls and thank you, it'll make you feel more feels, promise.)_

The days drag along at times blindingly fast, and others surreptitiously slow. It was indeed a mystery, and Murphy's Law was playing on every second of their lives.

Times were fast when Chloe was awake enough to smile or have a conversation, and it was painstakingly slow when she was unconscious, unable to breathe or in so much pain that she cries and cries.

It's been a week and four days since Beca was told that Chloe only had a few weeks left to live. The thought had never left her mind that she only had Chloe for only a small handful of diminishing weeks or days even, left.

And it's only her slowly disappearing sanity that's keeping her going. It's her understanding of the situation that allows her to still accept it and go on.

Early on when Beca rarely prayed, and more often begged, to somebody, it was for Chloe to make it through cancer. She convinced herself that she was doing it for Chloe, that she wanted there to be a cure found, or a new drug, or for even the chemo to work. But she realized now that, she was doing it for selfish reasons.

She wanted Chloe to survive so that she could love her and hold her. To not constantly feel bad like a ball of anxiety, and to stop worrying so much about her feeling lonely if Chloe died. She won't be able to bear it.

Now, she's become used to not caring for herself. It's built up as a habit in small ways. In the beginning it were things as simple as, forgetting to eat at times or not being able to shower because she was at the hospital or Chloe needed attention. Then it progressed to bigger things like not going into work, giving up mixing. Then it grew into canceling important meetings, ignoring her other friends.

And she realized that the greatest disregard she had was when Chloe was lying peacefully on the hospital's blue sheets, and she'd had a good day. She didn't have so many of those, but she was actually laughing a little, and she kept her eyes open for more than half an hour while Beca and Aubrey talked aimlessly around her for a white noise for her to listen to.

However, the thing with good days is that there needs to be some amount of work done. Like paperwork and legal documents. And to sign that, Chloe would need to be conscious. Some of the ones she had to sign were ones that ensured that the death was inevitable and that the hospital didn't do anything to allegedly make her die. And other familial matters.

And it's harder when Beca has to see Chloe, someone she loves more than anyone, sign a DNR form (Do Not Resuscitate; Don't restart someone's heart if it stops). Because that's when Beca knows that this is final, and Chloe wants it to be final too.

There's no shade of hope now, and Chloe knows that. So she signs the DNR form in something that no longer resembles her signature, her hand is too weak to grip the pen and it shakes too much. The nurse looks at her with pity and sadness, as she supports the clipboard close to Chloe's hand. All the while, Beca stands near the window looking out to the view with a few tears running down her cheeks.

And that's really the moment Beca realized to stop being so selfish. She can't pray or wish or hope with everything she got for Chloe to survive. Because Chloe might not want to.

It's also the time that Beca realizes that she never really knows the extremity of Chloe's emotional and physical pain, and she doesn't really want to. She can't imagine herself signing away her life like Chloe did, and to get to the point of pain and despondency that she can't withstand. And Beca can't even fathom how something like that would be if it happens to her. It frightens her that Chloe feels like this.

So, frankly, she stops being a selfish bitch.

She doesn't pray for Chloe to get well, even if it means that they struggle through this for another three, five, ten years. She doesn't wish for Chloe to get better no matter how long it will take. No. But she does pray for Chloe to have peace, and for the pain to stop, in whatever way it can. Even if it means that one of the ways is through letting go.

-Panda-

Another thing that has become apparent as the days march on is that the supposedly 'good days' turn into bad days too. The only maybe nice thing is that Chloe might have her eyes open, heavy-lidded and dark. She's fighting for every moment and every breath when she's awake, and the good days turn to bad days eventually.

It's hard for Beca to see Chloe so pale than what she used to look like. She couldn't see the light of Chloe Beale anymore when she sees her now.

There are times when Beca knows that Chloe is far too conscious of her own death sentence, and the pain that comes along with it. When she knows what's going on, but not really. That's when it really changes how Chloe's brain work, making her not see the reason she's here the first place. And when Chloe opens her eyes and spoke for the first time in three days, the first thing that comes out of her mouth is, "I want to go home,"

It surprised Beca, she shut her laptop and put it on a desk beside her. She took Chloe's hand and it's warm, Beca's initial thought is she's having a fever. She places a hand on Chloe's neck and forehead, but it doesn't really indicate anything. She kept in mind to call a nurse later.

"You want to go home?" Beca said after a few moments, she looks into Chloe's face, her eyes are shut, but she's agitated and her lips are dry.

"I want to go home." Chloe repeats, and it's somehow more stable, but still in the soft tone that she can only speak in, "Take me home."

Beca let's go of Chloe's hand for a minute and hoists herself up onto the bed, so she's sitting beside Chloe, pressed up against her. "I can't Chlo. You have to stay in the hospital."

"No no. I don't. You need to take me home. It'll be better there, I promise." Chloe replies, her voice trembling, "Please Beca."

"They're looking after you here Chloe, you know that," Beca says softly, but she starts to panic when she sees Chloe getting more stressed by everything she says.

Chloe's head starts moving from side to side, and she repeats, "No, no, no, no, no," a number of times. There's a tear running down her nose as she whispers, her voice broken, "No, it will be better there. It won't hurt there Becs. It hurts so much Beca. Please. Take yo- me home. Tae-take me home."

It's almost incomprehensible the sounds that are coming out of her mouth, and Beca can hear the heart monitor beside her speed up the beeps. So she places a hand on Chloe's cheek and silences her until her mumbling stops, her own hand starting to quiver.

"Hey, hey, you know I'd take you home if I could Chlo. But I promise it doesn't hurt as much here." Beca says slowly after a few moments of letting Chloe take her breath.

She swallows hard, and Chloe's voice is almost not like her own as she says, "B-but you can't p-properly lay down with thi-s hospita-al bed. You can't, you can't, you can't- it's not big enough. Please Beca," She's almost incoherent, and she's hardly finishing any sentences or thoughts in her head, but it makes Beca stumble a bit.

"I know Chlo, I know it's hard," Beca says, a little teared up, "But hey, I'm right here, see, I'll always be right here. Okay?"

She moves her body to look at Chloe's face so they're looking into each other's eyes, "Hey, okay?"

Chloe's voice failed her for a bit, it caught it's dryness before she says, "Alright."

Beca stays with her there until she falls into a sleep after a little bit. The silence of the room, except for the occasional beeps, is almost deafening. After she deems that Chloe's asleep, albeit restlessly, she goes down and sits on her chair again. She presses the button to call the nurse to do the necessary check ups. She watches as she takes what's left of Chloe's blood. She looks away wishing that she could take her home.

-Panda-

It was a simple day, nothing happened at all. There was, however, a sperse of chaos just outside the hallway of Chloe's room. Beca can hear that someone has gone through cardiac arrest. And she hopes it wasn't Mrs. Jadelyn, she was really nice. Old, but nice. She was already at stage four carcinoma by the time she came to the hospital. That was another thing she learned in her stay, most people who understand you when you talk despite the weeks before when they couldn't, tend to die. Just a thing she noticed.

But other than that, it was very normal. Chloe's lying on her bed and Aubrey and Beca worked on the recliners that they have claimed as their own. Beca moved her recliner as close to Chloe's bed as it could and she's sitting there, mixing music or doing work, and sometimes playing with Chloe's hands and fingers loosely on the bed.

Aubrey sits on the other side of Chloe's bed, but at the end. She also does the same, she reads and writes papers, and when she falls asleep, she's hunched over her back, holding on to a part of Chloe, mostly her leg. And the weight is comforting, Chloe can't move her legs anyway, she's too tired. The weight that Aubrey puts on it makes her feel less weak.

Aubrey is here more often these days, she has cancelled more projects and jobs the worse that Chloe's become. She still goes on to work and contributing a part of her life to work. Mostly because that is a part of her life that she has control of.

Chloe isn't as scared about leaving her behind because of it, but she still sees the incredible hurt in Aubrey's eyes when Chloe begins to struggle to breathe, or when she has to have a nasogastric tube shoved down her throat. She knows at least it'll still hurt her.

It was still normal when a nurse comes into the room in the late morning, and there's warm wind coming through the open window, the needle that she pierces into the top of Chloe's bruised hand glints from the sunlight as she took Chloe's blood. She pushes the blood cart out of the room, and excuses herself out of the room, giving Beca and Aubrey a pitiful smile and a tired face.

Chloe doesn't wake up from that. And that's normal.

She does however wake up almost 30 minutes later, squeezing Beca's hand. "Hey there beautiful," Beca whispers, looking up from her mixing software and leaning to press a kiss on Chloe's cheek.

Moving her head a little to Beca's affection, Chloe pries her eyes open in the morning light. "Hi," her voice is slow and raspy, and it's getting more and more soft, "Did they take my blood?"

Beca laughs a bit, putting her laptop away, "Yeap, they took it about 20 minutes ago Beale." She gently courses her fingers around the small tape covering the needle mark, "Did you feel it?"

Chloe doesn't bother asking what it was ever for. It's a pretty constant thing. She even doubts Aubrey and Beca knows, or asked either. It's far too many medical technicalities to remember.

Chloe offers a small smile at Beca's fond voice, "Didn't feel a thing, what time is it?"

Beca rummages around for her phone to tell Chloe, but Aubrey beat her to it from the end of the bed, looking at the laptop screen. "It's a little past 11am." She rests her chin on her hand, elbow on the arm of the recliner and legs propped up on Chloe's bed, her eyes look bloodshot and tired, looking much like Beca's.

The presence of Aubrey surprised Chloe because she only managed to open her eyes to look at Beca. She winces as she tries to move her body over to see Aubrey. It takes her a few moments, and her hands shake from beneath her as she tries to push herself up the bed a little. Eventually Aubrey can't sit there and watch her hurt herself anymore, so she stands and puts her hands on Chloe's shoulder gently to push her down. Chloe shudders at the relief that it brought from her aching body.

Aubrey leans so she's looking to Chloe's face, "Do you want to sit up Chlo?"

Chloe took a deep breath before replying, already laboured from the tiny effort, "Yes, please,"

Aubrey nods and Aubrey places an arm under Chloe's back, lifting Chloe's arm around her shoulder. Beca stand up to help, but Aubrey just silently shakes her head and gives her a sign that she's got it. Aubrey pulls back the covers, and places another arm under Chloe's knees.

In a fast movement, but careful to not mess up Chloe's IV's and her cannula, Aubrey lifts her up in her arms. She tries not to think about how light Chloe is now, her legs and arms showing too much bone, and just dangling; she looks impossibly small. Beneath her, Beca uses the remote to adjust the bed into a seating position and she adjust the pillows and blanket so Chloe can lay there in comfort. Aubrey has to shift a couple of times to guide Chloe's head back into her shoulder because she can't lift her head up.

When Beca's done fiddling with the bed, Aubrey places Chloe back down gently, she straightens out her legs and pulled the blankets back over her. Chloe's eyes are screwed shut and it looks like she's in great pain. Aubrey pushes her recliner more further up towards Chloe's head and asks, "Chlo?"

Chloe offers a simple hum to let Aubrey know she's listening, Chloe even lets her eyes open and they're red with tears that she doesn't want to let out.

Aubrey scrunched up her face and she almost huffs out, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to hurt."

Chloe shakes her head slowly against the pillow, she swallows and licks her lips before rasping out, "No, no, don't worry. It's just me. I'm not used to moving much," she takes a deep intake of breath before continuing on, "I don't like that you have to do it too."

One of the worst things is to literally let everyone do everything for you. For Chloe, she tries to be all there mentally, but physically, her body is failing her to the highest level. She knows that she's hardly ever been out of bed this month, because they bring the drugs and the chemo and everything to her now. She's too sick to travel to another ward. Dr Neal even said that it _is_ impossible for Chloe to even walk, simply because her muscles have forgotten how to function. And it would take vigorous physical therapy for her to regain all that she's lost.

It's simply the worst that Beca, Aubrey or someone else has to carry her to move anywhere. More than anything, Chloe misses her independence.

"You know I don't mind Chlo," Aubrey says, twiddling her fingers together, in what Chloe assumes is nervousness. "Hey do you need more painkillers? I can go call a nurse."

Chloe's eyes properly snap open, "Nope, I'm fine. It's okay, it'll be gone soon anyways," Technically she's not lying when she says it'll be gone, but soon for her is probably in about ten minutes if she's lucky of an ache that courses through her body.

Usually when Chloe was sleeping before and suddenly jerks awake, she would ask the nurses to put her on painkillers so she could ignore the pain. But right now, she's awake-ish and Beca and Aubrey are here. And the least she could do is not be sedated; it's worth it. It's worth being able to regain at least some of her consciousness by talking to them, even if she drifts off for a few minutes or if she's just sitting and watching them talk to each other.

It's worth their time to talk to Chloe as much as they can before she goes.

They sit like this for a while, Chloe slipping in and out of sleep, and she's truthfully the most awake she's been in weeks. She's become more aware of everything because of the lack of drugs in her system, no mixture of oxycodone or morphine. A subsidy to this is that she still feels every ache in each of her joints and every bolt when she shifts a little on the bed, and every pain of muscle in her neck and back when she's been in a position too long. The worse thing is, it hurts more when she tries to fight it off. So she waits until the pain is unbearable before urging Beca or Aubrey to change her position or to massage the pain away or something.

Time rolls around and it's suddenly half past five, Beca and Aubrey were going to go grab something to eat and bring it back to the room. Chloe has been awake for the majority of the day and she can't take anymore, especially when her mind is already pulling her to the dream realm. And having the room to herself seems like not a bad idea, the other two offer to have a nap when they're gone; to let some of the pain go away. But as they were about to go, and Chloe was about to fully submit to sleep, she hears a familiar voice pop in from the front of the room, "Knock Knock? Can I come in?" Followed by two quick knocks on the door.

Chloe breathes out a small, "Yeah," and Beca has to follow up with a "She says yeah,"

And Chloe finally pieces the voice with a face. Dr Neal comes around to her side of the bed and has a small smile on her face. She hasn't heard from the doctor for a couple of months, and she didn't dress in a doctor's attire with her labcoat, she's dressed pretty casually. Chloe hasn't heard much from her since she switched hospitals, but she's still Chloe's primary caretaker/doctor.

Beca and Aubrey makes small talk with the doctor, and Chloe learns that Dr Neal just got off from work and drove straight here to see Chloe. Chloe wracks her brain to the last time she saw Dr Neal and there hasn't been any need for face to face contact between two of them.

Until now apparently.

Before anything else, Aubrey smiles and excuses herself out of the room like every time one of Chloe's doctor comes in. She does it out of respect, and about something her dad said to her, she typically wants to leave those situations for Chloe and Beca. They're private, and it's not something she's entitled to. And if it's not anything important or if Chloe wants her to know about it, Aubrey will probably hear it after the doctor leaves.

The click of the closing door behind Audrey queued Dr Neal to look at Chloe. "Nice to see you again, Chloe."

"You too," says Chloe as she leans in a little forward to face Dr Neal. And it was, Dr Neal was a wonderful doctor and almost as though she was Chloe's a friend during her treatments. But something was strange. This isn't normal. and it was making Chloe's pulse beat faster by the second. Everyone could hear it on the heart monitor beside the bed though, they choose to ignore it for now.

Chloe asks, "Why did you come to this hospital Doc?"

"Well some occasions have to be made with face to face conversations Chloe." Dr Neal replies slowly, watching every word she says. There's a small moment where Beca puts her hand in Chloe's. After they're done Dr Neal says, "I have some news." And there's a small beat of silence again where she looks between two of them, curled around each other, "Do you want to talk alone, or with Beca here?"

Chloe makes a small frowning face because she's confused. Beca's been there through every single meeting and consultation and every single procedure that she's legal enough to be there for, "With Beca here." She says slowly like there's something she's missing, "I mean she's been here for all of them, and if not I'd tell her anyway."

Dr Neal fiddles with her wedding ring and a file that she's been holding since she came in, "Are you sure?"

Chloe nods, getting a little frustrated and she tightens her grips on Beca's hand. Because if she's honest, she's really terrified right now. This all seems so ominous and what news could be so bad that Dr Neal deems that Beca can't handle it?

Dr Neal fidgets around for a moment but shrugs, and then she opens up the file that she's holding at the table on the end of Chloe's bed. And there's another moment of silence when she finally looks up from her papers and a hesitant smile rests on her face, "There's a clinical test that you are suitable for, Chloe."

There's several long moments of silence, in which Chloe immediately releases her grip from Beca's and she hears Beca take a deep breath beside her when Dr Neal said those words, and she doesn't think that she fully digested it yet. As the cogs begin to turn in her head, the first thought that she has is that she's so confused.

Dr Neal has seen this confusion on both their faces before and so she starts to speak the speech she prepared on the way to the hospital, "There's a test that's been developed in another clinic not to far from here, my hospital just got the news and when I heard it, I thought immediately of you. This is it. This here is your last chance to beat this-"

There was more to her speech, many more words come out of her mouth but after a while of zoning out Chloe raises her trembling hand to stop Dr Neal from speaking. Her mouth has fallen open a little bit and her eyes are squinting like she still has no idea that this is even happening right now. And she's also grateful that she hasn't looked at Beca, because knowing her she's probably about to cry any minute. But Chloe thanks to all that is holy that Beca hasn't spoken yet.

"I want to speak with you." And there's a small pause where Chloe takes a small glance towards Beca, "Alone. Please."

Dr Neal nods, and meets eyes with Beca. But Beca just starts frantically shaking her head, and her face resembles one of a panic setting and her eyes are rimmed with tears, and her hands shaking too. "No. No. I'm staying, Chloe, I'm staying," she turns to look at Chloe and she adds forcefully, "I'm staying."

Chloe still hasn't turned to look at her but she looks at Dr Neal trying to beg silently to make her go because this conversation can't happen while she's inside. There's no way.

Dr Neal took the hint and took a breath, "Beca. Please leave the room. I need to talk to Chloe, my patient, alone." When Beca doesn't move, half through stubbornness and half because of confusion, Dr Neal sighs and looks at the floor, "I don't have a choice Beca. I have to abide to my patient's wishes, and if she wants to speak to me alone, you should _respect_ that."

And afterwards Beca does look genuinely sorry as she takes one last look between Chloe and Dr Neal, and a look that's also some parts betrayal and confusion. Chloe nervously pressed a kiss to Beca's hand before she stood up, "I'm sorry Becs. I'm sorry. Just please, give me a minute." Beca takes a deep breath and exhales shakily as she walks out the door to join Aubrey outside.

When Chloe hears the door shut again, she looks straight at Dr Neal, who's biting her lips at her expectantly, wondering who should break the silence. Chloe opens her mouth to ask the many questions in her head.

However instead of intelligent questions that she asks, a string of emotions comes out of her mouth in a scared whisper, paired with tears that's been begging to come out, "I'm supposed to be dead within the next month or two. How- what- I don't… I don't understand."

Dr Neal sighs but smiles anyway, "Do you want me to explain further and then you can ask me anything, I've got all night,"

Chloe takes a moment, and feels her neck ache a little, though the race of the adrenaline in her veins are causing her hands to act jumpy. Chloe lets her head fall back onto the pillows as she tries not to get too caught up in it all. As she tries not to get too expectant of the idea of living. That is of too much hope right now.

"Yeah," she ends up breathing out. Dr Neal nods and takes a seat on the end of Chloe's bed, perching so she can rest the file next to Chloe's legs.

"Okay, so this test has been trialed since almost 6 years ago. Maybe you've heard of it Chloe. It is for patients who are in their final stages of life and one's who are terminal. Who are like you." Dr Neal looks at Chloe but her face is focused on nothing ahead of her, and she kept going, "This test wasn't supposed to be open for another 10 months or so but then they have been intensive in their research and they're made a lot of changes. To put it simply, it's something like chemo but a lot stronger. It's for patients who chemotherapy alone isn't enough to work. It's vigorous. But you fit all of the requirements to participate. All you need to do is sign this form, and I've filled out the rest."

Dr Neal looks on hopefully at Chloe as she puts the papers in front of her. There's a space at the bottom that says 'patient signature' where Chloe is supposed to sign on. But she can't make herself pick up the pen.

"You can live Chloe," Dr Neal encourages watchfully, "This is your last chance to be happy,"

Chloe doesn't respond but she takes in the information. She stares at the papers intensely like somehow, with enough staring, she could move them with her mind. Dr Neal just lets her sit there and stare for a moment and allows her to ask any question if she has some. It's a few minutes until Chloe finally has the guts to speak up.

"What's the it called?" And that's not the question she means to ask, but it's what her brain decides to make come out of her mouth. She's just not ready for the answers she's not ready to hear. Not yet. So she starts with something small, something that she probably won't understand to calm her down a bit.

"Uhm, it's called H-caesiumixia-diroxide," Dr Neal responds, somehow knowing that Chloe is just stalling time. "The name is still developing, not really approved by the commercial board yet."

Chloe nods, the name sound scary, it something she can't even pronounce. It takes her back to college chemistry, without the added innocence. She's still scared of what she has to ask, but she knows she needs to, "What's the uh… the treatment plan?" She mumbled.

A tiny smile formed on Dr Neal's face when she hears Chloe ask that, she knows she's getting there, just a little more budge, "So the first stage they mix some old drugs with it, a multi-agent intensive chemo they call it. I won't lie to you Chloe, it hurts and goes all out on your body. But the new drug will help you ease into it. And that stage alone can last 6 months to a year, my guess with you conditions it will probably be 9-12 months."

Dr Neal takes a breath, and look over at Chloe who gave a small nod, "The second and mostly final stage has two areas; first is that we continue using the multi-agent chemo but combined with remission drugs. That won't put you to remission but it will kill most of the cancerous cells because of the new drug. The other area is just preventative prophylaxis therapy to stop your cancer to reach your immune system. It's low dosage and that's it."

There's a beat of silence as Chloe takes in all the information, she's been in this long enough to know most of what Dr Neal is saying. And she also knows that this won't be a short time to deal with. And the thing she's scared of the most, it may not work.

Calming her nerves a bit, Chloe speaks more firmly now, a voice she didn't even know she was capable of in weeks. It almost scares her. "So what are the chances that it's just more painful water pumped into me?"

Dr Neal changed her face to one of confusion, "Pardon, what?"

Chloe looks down at her fiddling hands and winced a little at where they took the blood, "What's the chance I will get it?" Because she knows, she did her research. Some clinical trials just advertise and she won't even get it. The doctors give hope and give fake drugs and fake results. And then that's it. She's dead. But with all the hope that there is the slight glimmer of hope that she would live.

"Don't think that way." Dr Neal gave her a pointed look as if she just read Chloe's mind, " And besides it's a phase IV trial, you'll certainly get the drugs. They've just have a little over 4000 patients in on it."

"Stats." Chloe says, her voice beginning to get raspy again. And right now she doesn't know between right and wrong or what to do, it pains her just thinking about it. "What's the statistics doc?"

This is what Dr Neal's been waiting for. This is her chance to tell Chloe what she needs to know to give that push. Because in her 23 years of treating patients, she's never met someone else more ready for this drug than she is.

"They're really good Chloe. So about 85% of them have gone from being terminal to the first phase. Then from the 85%, there's about 60% who went to remission therapy. People who started legitimately have gone to remission, 5 years cancer free!"

Chloe's eyes move from Dr Neal to the papers that are centimeters away from her hands, "But there's still a chance I won't." She pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes, "There's still a pretty big chance that I'll _die_ and it'll just be all for nothing."

That catches Dr Neal by surprise a little, because ever since she's known Chloe, Chloe's been always on top of things when it came to ways she could stay alive. Chloe spent weeks asking Dr Neal treatments she's viable for, things that she could try out, ask about clinical trials that she read online. And more often than not, Dr Neal has to tell her no time and time again, she always leaves looking sad. But a couple of weeks later, now that she's back, she drops it down. This isn't the Chloe she's used to seeing. The patient he treated weeks ago even if she had tubes shoved down her throat wasn't cynical and death minded already, and certainly not welcoming death for a chance to live.

After a brief silence, Dr Neal clears her throat and starts to speak again, "There will always be that small chance, Chl-"

"It's a 40% chance actually." Chloe interrupts, biting her tongue to literally prevent her from crying. Because she's so close to it. So close to just break down. She should have not let her in, she should have just pretended to sleep.

Dr Neal registers that for a moment and replies, "Yes. A 40% chance you won't make it. But there's a 60% chance you might. They are incredible statistics Chloe, better than most. And the bar is increasing every day."

"Tch, or it could lower everyday too. 60 to 40? Might as well call it 50-50." Chloe says. She's mumbling this mostly to herself. And she's just so angry, not at Dr Neal but at herself. Why did she even have to ask about this? What good will it bring to her now? Nothing. She just needs to pretend that this didn't happen and tell everyone she's turning it down. And she knows they won't understand at first. And they won't understand that she's doing it for them.

"Well. For the stage of cancer that this is targeting, I say it's pretty damn remarkable. This is actually miles ahead than anything else in the oncology area right now," Dr Neal insists, she almost seems desperate.

Chloe closes her eyes and composes herself, "I can't do it."

Dr Neal sighs and speaks, "Look before you convince yourself or convince me of anything else, I want you to know that this _is_ something you can handle. It's hard, and it's going to be long but I know you can handle it." She is sure about it.

"Beca and Aubrey?" Dr Neal says, she sees Chloe slump her shoulders, "I'm pretty sure they'd want you to do this. I really can't imagine them saying anything different."

And Chloe starts shaking her head, she can't listen to this. Of course Dr Neal wouldn't understand too. Honestly she was hoping that someone would, but she didn't. No one will. Chloe will die being the guilty party. The one that didn't take a second chance at life.

"Please stop." Chloe trembles, noting that Dr Neal is still trying to prove her wrong. She's suddenly so tired. Her head is aching just by the thought of this, and she really doesn't want to hear any of this crap anymore.

She feels Dr Neal move around, and gather the papers. She sighs and says, "Well you have three days until they give up your place in the trial. Call me anytime. Even if it's to ask more questions or anything, I'll be available. Please Chloe." She's paused on the door and glances back to Chloe, "Would you like me to send Beca and Aubrey back in?"

Chloe just closes her eyes and Dr Neal knows that there are tears threatening to come out, "No, don't, not yet."

"Would you like me to tell them? Dr Neal asks, it's soft and understanding, and she can see Chloe relax a bit.

It takes Chloe a little bit to respond then she mumbles out, "Yes please. And tell them everything. I don't think, I can't…"

Chloe trails off, unsure of where she was going. Dr Neal replies, "No worries, I get it." And this is something Dr Neal has done before.

Before she completely it out the door she adds one last comment, "I just hope you would really consider this Chloe."

Chloe just nods a little and closes her eyes, sleep taking over her immediately.

-Panda-

When she finally wakes up she almost forgot that she may have completely fucked up the last few weeks of her life. Almost.

The small time between her regaining consciousness and finding strength to open her eyes, she feels a moment of peace. Where she's warm and she can hear someone breathing next to her and she's in the darkness. It's simple and calming.

But then she has to open them. And Aubrey is sitting in Beca's recliner. She's leaning forwards, elbows on her thighs and chin on her hands. She can see her eyes looks bloodshot and rimmed with red that it comes back to Chloe. She swear she could feel the blood slow down in her veins, and immediately loses the warm feeling she had just a second ago. And she's scared.

She doesn't say anything for a few moments, and she doesn't think Aubrey even knows she's awake because she's looking at the floor. She has completely zoned out and Chloe doesn't even know how to start this. Does she apologize, does she try to explain herself?

In the end, after internal debating, all she can force out is a small, whimpered, "Bree?"

There's a small crane of her neck, but her hands doesn't move from her hands. Aubrey lets out a depressive sigh. Her mouth pursed tightly, something Chloe's grown accustomed to since Barden. And after, what Chloe knows is probably a mess in her mind, she whispers out defeatedly, "Why Chloe?"

Chloe has to look away and all that she could say is another small, "Bree," but it's quieter and smaller, and she really does want to be anywhere rather than here and have this conversations. She wants to go back hours ago and just makes sure that Dr Neal never got to her in the first place.

"Don't," Aubrey says, louder this time, and she fists her hands, a sign that Chloe knows is her trying to keep her cool, "Just, why are you doing this?"

"I don't have a choice." Chloe mumbles out, and she's tried. She really shouldn't have woken up.

"You don't have a choice?" Aubrey almost shouts disbelievingly, but when she sees Chloe physically flinch at her tone she takes a deep breath and moves forward on the chair. "All you have are fucking choice Chloe. A choice not to do it and die, or a choice to do it and live."

Chloe locks eyes with her again. Hurt. Even though at the back of her mind she knows Aubrey wouldn't understand, she still hoped that she wouldn't. But now it's hard to explain this seemingly unexplainable thing. It's confusing even to her, but she does know that it's her only option.

"If I do it, it doesn't guarantee that I'll live." Chloe says, and it's a little bit irritated, but it comes out exhausted more than anything. She meant it to be firm though, so Aubrey would get her.

Aubrey looks frustrated and looks like she might just vomit. "But Chloe, you don't really have a chance if you don't do it. I don't- I don't understand." And now she's shaking, and there's tears in the corner of her eyes, her voice quaking sometimes.

"I don't know how to explain it Bree." Chloe stars, and her voice is small and sad, "But I can't do it Aubrey. I can't."

"You have to Chloe." Aubrey replies, like it's the simplest choice and the most obvious thing to do."

Chloe shook her head, "I don't have to do anything. It's my choice."

She watched as Aubrey chokes back a sob and palms her eyes for a moment. And Chloe feels an overwhelming sense of guilt knowing that she caused this much pain. Her mind flicked back to a promise somewhen in Sophomore Barden age that she'll always make Aubrey happy if she could. And she is. She just doesn't realize it until the long term. They just don't understand that she's doing this for them. To protect them.

"Okay look," Aubrey clears her throat. "I know I can't force you to do anything." And she sniffles and tries really hard not to cry, and it's heartbreaking and Chloe just has to force herself to look away, "But you can't imagine what it's like to lose you Chlo. How it's the worst thing ever that's happened to any of us."

Chloe looks at Aubrey confused, and after Aubrey removes her -now wet- hands from her eyes, they're looking at each other's eyes. "I lose you guys too." she mumbles, and she already knows what Aubrey's response is going to be.

"No. You are dying." Aubrey states, and it's not angry or meant to annoy her, it's simple and small. "Me and Beca and your parents, siblings, we are _losing_ you. We have to go on without you," And it's a few seconds before Aubrey composes herself again, but her voice albeit strained, "I don't want to do that. I want you to come with us."

Chloe takes a long time to respond to that because she knows that. And when she does respond, her voice is firm and controlled, because it's important to get across and she's also just realizing this herself, "I don't want to give you guys false hope."

"It isn't false hope." Aubrey counters immediately.

"It is." Chloe replies just as quick. "Everything else; the chemo, the transplant, the radiation. It was all supposed to fucking work. But it didn't did it. This is fucking false hope Bree." Chloe almost slams her fist against the bed if she has any strength to do it.

"These are better chances than the beginning though," Aubrey says, her voice still laced with strain.

"It's a 40% chance I'll still die, but if I take it I have to endure through treatments that's harder than actual chemo, and give everyone this hope," She says like it's a swear word, "I am _so_ tired aubrey. I'm tired of fighting. And I was ready. You know?"

Aubrey just stares at Chloe for a while to the point when Chloe has to look away. There's a shaky intake of breath when Aubrey whispers out, "You know I will respect any decision you make, and I know I can't even fathom to know how hard and painful it is to be this sick. But I still think you should do it. I want you to."

Chloe almost completely relaxes when aubrey says the words she needed to hear the most. And she knew that last bit was coming but she needed that. The reassurance that Aubrey wasn't doing to totally hold it against her and even if she did, that she was going to hold it aside.

So all Chloe can say now is a small "Thank you." There's a small moment where she really just wants to ask the question that's been burning in the back of her head since she scanned the room and finding no trace of the small brunette, "Where's Beca?"

There's a small change in the dexterity in Aubrey's eyes. A little flash of what Chloe can see is regret? She sits back in the recliner a little and hesitates a little, "She went home. Well, I dropped her home, maybe four hours ago?"

Beca never spends time away from the hospital until she absolutely needs to. And Chloe is cared because Beca is probably the only good thing for her right now. The only thing that made it all bearable. She's the one that's been beside her all the way. The one that supported her the entire time. There's Aubrey too, but even she left for a while.

And leaving is understandable. Leaving is expected. But Beca never did that. She stuck through everything, all the procedures, the operations she could be in, the hospitals check in's. Taking all her troubles. Keeping count of her medications, what time the chemo was, researching new treatments plans.

Beca was honestly everything that kept Chloe alive. And though she is impossibly sick in her body, and her soul even more so, she _knows_ she would follow Beca anywhere. She owes her far more than just her life.

The long silence of thought allows Aubrey to speak again, composed this time, "She stayed to talk with Dr Neal. She said she wasn't up for driving, so I did."

"Did she say anything?" Chloe whispered, her words mumbling a little, and she's tired again already. Feeling hopeless. Aga- Always.

Aubrey bit her lip like she's trying really hard to lose composure again. But her eyes brim with tears again, and her voice is strained, "She said she's really sorry she's not here. And that-" She sniffs. "And that she thinks you don't deserve to see her cry." She wipes the tears away and pretends that it's okay that Beca could be so humble.

"Shit." Chloe pushes out, because she wanted to know that but really didn't need to know that, "I really don't deserve her."

And probably been a long time since she had said anything like that. Something so sincere. Because right now it feels like she has pushed away the only person that truly cared for her. To suffer so badly because she can't do anything to help.

Aubrey offers a gentle touch on Chloe's hand, "Chloe," Aubrey started, "I think, I…" She doesn't finish that sentence and lets it hang before shaking her head.

"No, what?" Chloe persists.

She runs her hand over her forehead and whispers, "I really don't want to say this but my emotions are a mess and I have no barriers but right now you really don't fucking deserve Beca. She loves you so much, _too fucking much_."

"I love her too." Chloe says back, and it's desperate and now she begins to worry because making Aubrey think that she doesn't love Beca is a nightmare. She needs her to understand that she's doing this because she loves Beca.

Aubrey just shrinks into her chair and slightly nods, then she looks away. And Chloe hates her a little in that moment. Because she knows there's an underlying factor there. She despises Aubrey for not understanding.

In reality, she just hates herself even more.

-Pandas-

Chloe doesn't sleep very well. When Aubrey left the previous night, she slammed her hand at the nurse's button, tears streaming down her face and she demanded painkillers. She just wanted to sleep, to shut it all out.

She was in a deep sleep until the early morning when beams of light bounces off the walls and the floors into her hospital room, reflecting all the things like her respirator or her IV. She dreamt a lot.

She dreamt that she was in a park in Barden, but it's eerily empty and there's no background noise like students chatting or traffic or anything really.

She sighs as she looks down and she's still wearing her hospital gown, and it's waving slowly with a wind that she can't feel. And all of the sudden she's holding an IV pole, and it's making a screeching noise that reverberates around her ears. Slowly she starts to hear the sounds back, leaves crunching, distant people around her.

And suddenly she also realizes she's standing. And could feel her bare feet bleeding from the amount of pressure that it wasn't used to. It doesn't bother her though, she doesn't feel the pain. And then with a shake of her head, she sees her.

Beca.

She's standing at the bottom of a tree, in conjunction with herself. Chloe notices that she's wearing her favourite pair of jeans and a navy shirt covered with a plaid top. Beca smiles brightly when she sees Chloe, except she doesn't move towards her, even if Chloe stumbles upon to walk. She just stands there and smiles, occasionally moving her feet to sway her body to the music that she just noticed is there. And it seems to get louder.

Chloe's feet seems to be bleeding more and more, and despite the loss of blood they are becoming heavier to carry, and the stones on the ground doesn't really help. She feels her body beginning to slow down and writhe, feeling every movement her muscles make under her skin.

But something happens that Chloe doesn't even know how to describe. There's flash of red, and somehow her whole body goes transparent as if something just went through her. And she realizes that another girl slides towards Beca. Half running into Beca's outstretched arm, and the other just waiting to give her a hug.

Beca's face softened as the girl appears. Chloe's smile fade but not into sadness but something of fondness. This girl makes Beca happy. And the dress she's wearing is the same as Chloe's hospital gown but with ruffles and it looks incredibly soft, and Chloe wants to touch it. Beca does. Chloe can no longer move her body, it's as if she's been stuck there for a while watching moments unfold.

The girl places her hand on Beca weight and starts to dance alone with the music. But she starts to recognize the girl's features a little more. The way her hand clasps at the side of Beca's waist, the all too familiar taste of movements. The way her hair flows down just past her shoulders. She looks like someone Chloe saw before.

And when she turns around. She recognizes that it's her face.

But it's in a way that Chloe hasn't seen it in a long time. Full, the redness in her cheeks are there and her eyes blue as ever. The rays of sunlight makes them both look perfect. And Chloe sees the way Beca's hand fits so beautifully in the other her.

Chloe looks down at her own hand, it's bruised and thin. It's empty except for the IV tube attached to her right hand. It mocks her. It reminds her of something she never truly had. The dream fades until she can only see Beca and the other Chloe. And Chloe tries to capture the absolute joy on Beca's face.

The room is quiet when she finally wakes up, there's no quiet tap of keyboards or even quieter whispers of the two talking.

She lies awake for a long time, awake in her own sense of loneliness. She'd never felt more abandoned in her life. She feels as though she's betrayed herself. But there's no second-guessing. They'll thank her in the end.

-Pandas-

Beca has never knocked when coming inside Chloe's room before. But she does this time. She's nervous and she feels distant, and Beca knows it's strange, but it doesn't feel right for her to just walk in anymore.

Chloe perks her head up at the sound of the door, she had been waiting for the nurse to come back with more fluids, but the nurses give out a small knock and immediately comes in. Then she hears rustling of legs and and a silhouette of a shadow and somehow she knows it's Beca.

There is so much in between them right now, there is too much. And even though Chloe doesn't see her yet, hasn't even so much looked at her, she knows she's not going to be seeing the same Beca. And really, all she wants to do right now is love, and if all that she gets is the space in between them, then she will still love that. She will love every part of Beca until Beca loves her back. She will.

Although there has been pain up until this point. Chloe never thought she'd be able to see the kind of shattering and pain etched on Beca's face. She'd thought she'd seen all of it, the worst of it.

But Beca comes in through the doorway, and her face visibly crumples when she sees Chloe, and a wretched sob escapes from her throat when they locked eyes. Beca looks like she'd been crying, red eyes, swollen, her throat just raging, she promised she wouldn't cry. But she can't keep that promise anymore.

Beca closes the door and leans on it. Chloe hears the thump of her back hitting the door, and the noise of her black converse sliding on the floor.

All Chloe can hear is Beca just gasping for breath, and Chloe feels her tears well up too. She holds back crying but Beca just had to sob out, "I can't be here. I can't do this, I'm sorry." And Chloe can't even find words to say to Beca right now, to comfort her and tell her it's okay. To come and hold her because really she's tired and she misses her.

After a gracious amount of time, Chloe can hear Beca start to move again, and when she looks up, Beca was standing in front of her bed. Close to her, but still seemingly as far as she could be. She moved so that her hand is gripping the railing, and Chloe can see her veins popping out. Beca's chest is still heaving and she's stuttering and hiccuping words that Chloe can't hear.

Eventually after some time, Chloe can decipher her words, and it's quiet, her voice breaking with every word she says, "I'm sorry. I really thought I could come here without crying."

Chloe doesn't really have a response to that, she kind of doesn't want to say that it's okay that Beca wasn't to cry or not. Because she knows Beca has to try to keep some form of control in her life.

"I just-" Beca started through panting breaths, "I don't even know what to say anymore, I had a list of things to say but all of them seem sad, now that I'm here. I don't know what to do." There's a pause where Beca is gathering her thoughts, and wipes away her tears, "Aubrey even said that you think this is false- false hope?"

And Chloe remembers that voice, a voice that she hadn't heard for a long time. It's a voice that indicates Beca's sad and angry. Chloe just wants this to go the fuck away. "It is." Chloe doesn't beat around the bush, she comes straight-forward, and her voice contrasts Beca's because it's low and guarded and _tired_.

"It isn't." Beca counters, her voice now a little raised, her eyes glimmering with something other than tears.

Chloe understands how to work through these now. All she has to do is keep explaining the same exact things to people until they understand, or they don't, she doesn't care anymore, "It is though Beca. It's just another treatment or trial or whatever the fuck you want to call it but it won't work. Just like all the others."

Beca just gapes her mouth and hangs her body over the railing, leaning on it fully for support. She doesn't understand what happened to Chloe that caused her to give up her life for death so easily. She sucks in a breath so deep, and starts to cry again before she says firm and loud intended for Chloe to hear, "I don't understand." She sucks in a few shaky breaths again before finishing, "I just don't understand why you want to die. Why you want to leave? Leave me? Delight me please, because I don't fucking get it. I really don't."

Chloe resents Beca for saying that, she wants to get angry with Beca but she's still surprisingly calm when she replies, but Beca knows it's full of annoyance, "You have no fucking right to say that. I _never_ wanted to die, but that's the way cancer worked in my body." Chloe pauses to observe Beca's features, her lips were trembling and in fact her whole body was too, "I am tired Beca. _So_ tired. I was so ready."

Beca can't even look at Chloe anymore as she hears her sobs bouncing through the room again. She clutched her chest, to try to get a grip. Mostly to keep her heart inside her ribcage. She feels like she's drowning in sadness and fear, and she feels like she needs to completely erase this part of her life to erase this emotions out of her because she's going to lose Chloe.

And that thought is what pushed her buttons to go further, and she's shaking the bed so hard and pushes through gritted teeth, "Oh my fucking god. Please please, Chloe please don't do this, please please god please." She's begging so much, and that's her last resort, what other possible things are there?

She sees Chloe look down, and her eyes search Chloe's for any shine of hope, and she winces when she didn't even budge Chloe. Because she wants Chloe to be with her forever. She never wanted anything more than this her whole life, and that's saying something.

There's silence where Beca calms a bit, to where her voice is levelled and it's saddeningly honest.

"You'll never know how this feels Chloe." Beca pulls in a breath and moves around the bed but still in grip with the bed rail. "And you are so _fucking_ lucky you never will. Because watching the love of your life _die_ right in front of you _breaks_ you as a person. You can't even imagine how much pain it brought and still brings me to. And you know what hurts even more Beale?" Beca spat out.

"I thought I already had experienced the worst among all the worst but no. You know what's worse?" Beca suddenly punches the crisp hospital sheets, "Watching the love of your life die when there was a chance that she could have lived. Yea, turns out that's harder."

Beca crumples the sheets with her hands and continues to speak, "Because you blame yourself for not convincing her enough to _take_ that chance to live! And you regret deep in your heart until ultimately the reason for her death is weighted all upon you."

Beca pulls the hospital sheets up a little, forcing Chloe to look up at her. "Chloe! I am going to have to live every fucking day of my life, regretting and knowing that you could have been beside me. But you're not. And I don't know how I'm going to cope with that. Tell me Chlo, how am I supposed to do it? You think you're the only one that's tired? I am fucking exhausted." Beca cries.

Beca hits the end of Chloe's bed with an open palm, because Chloe is staring at her, her expression stoic and sad and it's the same expression since she came in but now she has fresh tears falling on her face.

Beca just continues, "Just imagine, Chloe. Imagine if you were in my place, if you were me. Imagine knowing that you have to wake up without me beside you! Imagine if you were losing me! What would you want me to do? Just- just give up my life?"

And for a moment, Chloe does sympathize. For the first time she puts herself in Beca's shoes. Seeing herself alive without Beca. Before this it's been a blur, and something abstract. And she realizes that all she wanted was death because she couldn't be bothered to know any better. Death's sly and welcoming arms trying to encompass her, protecting her, all the while trying to kill her. Maybe that's is it's plan.

There's silence and a clarity in Chloe's eyes for the first time, in seeing Beca's broken ones, she sees happiness. Something she hasn't seen in the eyes of human flesh in a long time. And Chloe knows that it won't be there for a long time, but she saw it. And that's good enough. Chloe watched as Beca dropped down into the recliner that Aubrey mostly uses, looking impossibly exhausted and given up.

It's been so long since Chloe has been healthy. She doesn't even remember what it feels like. She can't even remember how it felt to be healthy. But she sees an end to Beca's sadness, and maybe she can almost feel it again. And for the first time in a long time, she sees a future, bright and somehow it can hardly be placed in her timeline. It's her and Beca lying on lazy Sunday mornings curled in a couch together, and it's acrylic and bright sun beams and it ends up being not that bright because they haven't showered but that doesn't matter.

It all comes rushing back to Chloe, the memories she's had in a time before this. What she misses from her life the most. She remembers teaching in her classroom, with her students laughing. She remembers cafe Saturday mornings with Aubrey, making jokes and drinking coffee. She remembers the feeling of strength when she was doing yoga. She remembers joy in listening to Beca's mixes or music, something that she hadn't heard in awhile.

She remembers Beca. Beca's phone calls in the dead end night, the thrill of clubs that she attends with her sometimes, the steel navy gaze when Chloe so badly wanted to kiss her but knows she shouldn't.

And suddenly she's missing life. She misses the feeling.

She feels all of this in her bed, with a machine hooked so that it's practically living for her, and Beca still silently crying at the side of her bed.

Chloe reached to her with a trembling and weak hand to place it on Beca's upper arm, making Beca flinch a little and look up to Chloe. Beca almost has this face of sufferable on her face, like she doesn't want Chloe to be touching her right now, like that in of that itself is too much to handle.

"Come." Chloe mutters, wrapping her small fingers around Beca's shoulder, and Beca started to stand painfully slow Chloe says, "Kiss me. Please."

"Chlo-"

"Please." Chloe pleads, she needs this so badly.

After a moment of hesitation in Beca's eyes, Beca shook her head and leant in. On of her hand holding Chloe's head steady on her neck and the other beside Chloe's shoulder. And she connects their lips together. And Chloe just wraps Beca, and it's soft but intimate all at once. And she can hear Beca's throat close up and leans in further into the kiss. It's like this is going to be her last, like they're still on a time limit.

And it's soft and Chloe lost her breath completely, but she whispers into Beca's mouth, "I'll do it."

For a few moments Beca just acted like nothing monumental just happened and continued kissing Chloe, until she stills and pulls away. "What?" She breaths out.

"I'll do it, and I'm sorry." And it's the most simple and most complicated thing in the world. Chloe raises her hand with all her strength to stroke Beca's cheeks as she lets out a small smile.

Chloe's hand falls from Beca's cheek when Beca's knees fail her. There's a choked sob that comes out from her body, she places her head on the side of Chloe's bed while crouching down on the ground. "Oh my god. Oh my _fucking_ god." Chloe hears Beca mumbles as she shook her head.

And suddenly, Beca pulls herself up again excitedly and presses her lips against Chloe's, and mumbles out sincerely on her lips. "Thank you so much."

-Pandas-

Aubrey comes in that night when she got a call from Beca that Chloe had changed her mind. Aubrey cried and cried, and Chloe felt really sorry about what happened. The hospital also informed of Dr Neal on Chloe's change of heart and Dr Neal happily put Chloe on the list for the first phase.

They started two days after Chloe signed her form. She started her first phase on December 29th, and went to remission on the November 14th the two next years. It wasn't easy to get there. It took over two years of hard medication, a scare that maybe her cancer had failed her digestive system, three ambulance rides, another transplant, but most important was the love that she received from her loved ones. Especially from Beca.

It's hard to suddenly make disappear the last 4 years of her life. The one where she was controlled by some ungodly force that intended for her life to be as miserable as possible. Where it was only towards the end when she was growing out of the second phase, when she was only doing low dose of chemo and when she was able to relax at home while not being in intense pain.

It actually doesn't change much in being in remission. It doesn't change the fact that she was hospitalized for months, it doesn't change the fact that it held her back from her career and that the students she was teaching was already juniors in highschool. It scares her sometimes. It doesn't change the fact that she had to say goodbye to the people she loved the most, and reappear again as a part of their life. It doesn't change that she has to learn how to walk again on legs that never touched the ground in months.

It never changed any of that. And she won't forget any of them ever.

But one day she was going through her old books and she found one of her old journals where one question asked, "When was a time you felt genuine happiness?" And Chloe had wrote 6 years ago that winning the ICCAs and Worlds were the things that made her genuinely happy. And she even stuck a picture with the Bellas inside it. But now she thinks she would change that. Because when Dr Neal told her that there wasn't a single trace of cancer left inside her body, she experiences something so raw and happy, so happy that she felt like she could burst.

This doesn't mean that Chloe would put all her 4 years of pain and black behind her and hide it somewhere in a box so that one day she could pull it out and look through it for a sob story, no. This means that she's moving past that, that it was something she experienced but doesn't anymore.

And there are moments where Chloe just forgets, like when Beca clings to her whispering a chorus of I love yous and speaking her name over and over again. She just feels whole.

And Beca notices the change in Chloe too. The way that she regained her independence and strength. She'd strong and proud and she's alive. She goes back to teach at that school until the students of her class that are seniors have to graduate. She's becoming more self aware of who she is.

But there are still times when Beca could see the underlyings of cancer in Chloe, like she can't help herself but look at the little things Chloe does as a habit from cancer. Things that catches her off guard and things she can't seem to shake off. Like it's almost part of Chloe's personality.

Because Beca noticed when Chloe would stare at her now clean hands, free of bruises like if she stares hard enough, the bruises would reappear. Or when Chloe looks long and hard at the long sleeved, xxs sized shirts she used to wear that's now hidden deep in her closet. Or when they're sitting together working on the couch with the TV playing behind them, that Chloe touches the place where the IVs used to pierce her skins.

Beca notices them all. She also knew the unspoken times that Chloe would get out of bed at early in the morning and disappear from their room. She would sometimes hear the keyboard from across the hall playing soft notes accompanied with Chloe's hums. Or she would hear the soft noise of netflix from Chloe's laptop when she's out on the couch. Sometimes after those nights, Chloe would come back in trembling a little in the early morning hours.

Now it's different. And she's changed. She's better from it. And now when they lay together, their bodies moving in sync, it's sacred and so intimate. But sometimes she would be scared Beca would leave her after the cancer, that once Beca had nothing to look after, she would leave.

However, Beca would always greet her with a smile. And she stayed. She did always stay.

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A/N: HOLLLYYYY FLYINGNNGNGNGNG FUCKKCKCKCKCKCKC. sorry for my profanity but i almost went crazy writing this chapter. there is an epilogue for this story but i dont think it will be released sometime soon. MAYBE in a week? if im feeling like it? there are extras for this like chapters i never released. and if you guys would like to see that maybe i would post some. BUT OTHER WISE THIS SOTRY IS FINISHED! I'M SOHAPPYYY! omg this has been my baby since last year but yea. Im so glad you guys liked it sooo much :) and thank you for being here all the way through and me not like keeping my promises and stuff and im sorry. but yea! And im sorry if you guys don't like the ending, i literally wrote the death one so if anyone want sot read the one where Chloe does die, maybe i will post it someday. NOWOWOOWOOWWWWW I REALLY COULDNT WAIT TO TELL YOU GUYS ABT THIS BUT I HAVE BEEN WOKRING ON 2 NEW STORIESSS :D And I want you guys to decide which I should go for :) And I wrote _TONS_ of one shots that I will be posting soon. but befoer i get to any of that! I really want to take a moment and thank each of you guys who have gotten through this story with me. I'm serious, it really means a lot. So thank you everyone! *heart emoji* *hugs*

AND PLEASE REVIEW ON WHICH STORY YOU WANT TO SEE FIRST! These are their summaries, and I have their first 3 chapters all written out so I can post whichever one gets picked first. And the other will get released some time later haha. SO YEA LOOKIT :D

Remembrance: Bechloe AU. Everyone has that one person that when you say "childhood", they immediately remember them. Chloe and Beca were best friends, but one dreadful day broke their friendship apart for what seemingly like forever. Until Beca opened her door one night to reveal that maybe she has a second chance.

Falling Hard: Mitchsen High School AU. In which two people from different sides of the school meet in an unconventional moment, and they fall for each other hard and fast.

SPOLIETR ALRTE none of the above will be fluffy :P IM SORRY! but the one shots that i wrote will make up for it I PROMISE! IT'S EARLLLRRYY in the monring here and I may have had too much redbull BUT I REALLY WANTED TO POST THIS CHAPTER TODAY! SooOSOOOoOOOOO TADA! And thank you all so much for the continuous support I had on this story! I really love you guys so much :) Thank you! And see you soon for a brand new story! (psssttt i cant post without votes so... VooTE) pls)

AND AS ALWAYS if you wanna talk to me about anything really review below or my tumblr is the same thing as my username (haveyouseenmypanda . tumblr . com)

 _Bellavamps: I'm sorry! I really hope you enjoyed the last chapter :) Thanks for reading!_

 _Guess: IM SORRY! But I hope you got what you expected from the story! Chloe livedd! :) Thanks for reading!_

 _bechloeeverywhere: Aww *wipes tears* I really hope you were at least happy with the ending :) Thanks for readingg!_

 _fan: Well you thought wronggg :P But thank you so much for the compliments you're amazing :) I'm glad you enjoyed this story! Thanks for reading! :)_

 _xcombixgirlx: Hehehe might not need to combine 2 endings :P Thank you for reading! It means a lot :)_

 _Guest 2016: I agree! That's why she lived :D Thanks for reading_

 _lesbian-otps (chapter 4): ahahha i'm guessing you read the whole of the story ahahha but kudos for spotting that out!_

 _AmericanGray: Woah really! Thank you so much! And thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed the ending :)_

 _EAC47: Wow thank you so much dude! :) I'm sorry I made you cry :( Hope you at least enjoyed the ending! Thanks for readinggg :D_

 _guitarkid: I know right ;-; I took so much time to perfect Chloe's letter. Thank you for reading dude!_

 _Mia: ahahha I see what you did there ;) But yes there was magic and she survived! :D Sorry for making you wait so long :( Thanks for reading! :)_

 _CapAmerica21: Wow really? Thank you so much for the compliments! You're awesome! :) Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed the ending :)_

 _Daisy6789: Yes I like Chloe's letter too hahah. Sorry for making you wait longgg. :( Hope you enjoyed the ending, and thanks for reading!_

 _uknownfan: Im sorry I made you cry :( But thank youu :) And yes you guys deserve a happy ending! Thanks for reading!_

 _JASELYN: Aww I'm so sorry! But thank you so much for reading :) You're amazingg, I hope everything is well with your loved ones, hope you enjoyed this chapterrr! Thanks for reading :)_

 _Guest (1): I'm so sorry._

 _Thelonewolf06: Aww I'm really sorry! And yea the teaser wasn't meant to provide answers ;) But I'm glad you read it :) Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed this last chapter :)_

 _Guest (2): Aww thank you so mucchhh! but pls dont be dead. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Thanks for reading_

 _GoodEnough96: Aww thank you dude! Like seriously. I don't think this is the best Bechloe story but I'm glad you think so :) Thank you so much for reading! Your review was really nice to see :) Hope you enjoyed the last chapter!_

 _Emotional wreck: I'm so sorry for taking so long to update! I'm sorry that I made you cry too :( But thank you! :) Hope you enjoyed this last chapter and thank you for reading! :)_

 _Somebody:_ _Holy Shit. Dude. Thank you so much for sticking with this story since like a long time ago lol :P Your reviews are really funny and idk if you remember or not, but around chapter 6 or so you promised if I finish the story you'll tell me your username ;) Ahahah I'm really fricking sorry it took so long to update. Tell your friend thanks for reading too! Hopefully the long length accounts for my absence ;-; Thank you very much! See you in the epilogue and I hope you enjoyed reading HFT! :) *heart emoji*_

 _YesToBechloe: YOU BINGED 80,000 WORDS DANG But aww thank you so much! Hope you enjoyed this last chapter! Thanks for readinggg :D_

 _crying me: DONT DIEE I'm sorry i took so long to updatee :( Hopefully you won that bet? :P Thank you so much for reading and I hope this chapter brings you joy :)_

 _Guest (3): I did! :)_

 _TheBecaMitchelFan: I'm sorry i made you cry :( Idk if that's somehting to be proud of or not ahha but thank you anyway :) Thanks for reading too :) Hope you enjoyed this last chapter! :D_

 _skimboardinfun: I did! Don't sob anymore please :(_

 _x-fingerstyle-x: I give you moreeee :D Thanks for reading_

 _Guest (4): I HAVENT :)_

 _Guest (5): HERE YOU GO :D_

 _Chloe Beale: NOPEE KEPT YOU ALIVE :D_

 _Ahern47: Aww sorrryy :(( I really hope you enjoy reading this :)_

 _Guest (6): I'm sorry!_

 _Guest (7): You're welcome! Glad you enjoyed the story!_

 _Emotional me: Aww I'm so sorry it took this long to update :( I really really hope that this chapter satisfy you! Thanks for readinggg :)_

 _Guest (8): Wowwww thank you for that detailed review :) I took every bit of that to heart and really immersed in your feedback and I felt that it;s true. But thank you for all the kind words anyway :) I really hope you like this chapterr! Thank you so much for reading this! :D You're awesome, have a nice day! :)_

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And with all that. I'm out. Thanks for reading Hoping For Tomorrow. :)


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